In the hours leading to his betrayal at the hands of Judas Jesus went to the garden of Gethsemane. It was in this garden that Jesus knew how the next hours were going to play out and he knew it wasn't going to be pretty. His physiological signs of heavy perspiration, extreme emotional anguish were there that evening and he urged his disciples to stay awake and pray. Each time he returned to find that they had fallen asleep. He would admonish them and they would straighten up a little before drifting off to sleep again.
Isn't this just like human nature? When hard times come aren't we quick to run the other way, or delude ourselves that we're just too busy completing life tasks than to sit in our Gethsemane and pray? When given a choice between shopping at the Mall of America and visiting a loved ones grave wouldn't most of us choose the shopping. We reason that sitting at a grave side of someone that was once close to us was simply too hard for us at this moment. How many of us would rather pack away our loved ones belongings and put them into storage for many years because the task of going through them and getting rid of them is too hard? Shortly after Maria died my wife and I learned that our adoption social worker who lost a daughter could not bare to go into her deceased daughter's bedroom and instead had her young children package all of her belongings and moved them into the basement. It has been 20 years since this daughter's tragic loss and this social worker still doesn't have the means to face her loss head on.
What we may not realize are that hard things are what help shape us into what God wants us to become. It is while we are in our Gethsemane that he is pounding out all of the kinks in our armor and subjecting us to the flame of his torch to make us into the men and woman he desires us to be.
Grief is to most of us our Gethsemane. When someone we love dies we will venture into that area of our lives for only a very brief moment, but as soon as the service ends we go home, get into our play clothes and go out and do something fun. Gethsamane is not a place any of us want to remain.
The loss of a child is one such Gethsemane that is a lonely place to be for most parents. Parents enter into this area of their lives expecting others to sit with them, but these friends have either left or like the disciples of Christ they drifted off into another land. One time we asked some friends of ours if they would be willing to join us at our daughter's grave site for a time of remembrance. We needed friends to be there with us as we sat in our Gethsemane. These friends gently declined telling us that visiting her grave site was really a time for mom and dad to embrace. We needed these friends much like Jesus needed his disciples to be there for him in the hours he spent praying in his Gethsemane.
Why is our Gethsemane so hard on us? Why would we rather sedate our pain and suffering with alcoholic beverages than face our Gethsemane head on with prayer? At one time in our country it use to be that families would gather at the grave of a love one and they would make it a day of it by having a picnic, playing games and sharing the memories of their loved one. It helped them to heal from their grief and it kept the memories alive about the one who died. The picnic, the games, and the sharing times was their way of making a lonely time a more pleasurable one. In the end these families came out stronger because they were able to face their Gethsemane head on.
If you haven't had your Gethsemane you can rest assure that your Gethsamane is coming. God speaks through us in his word to prepare us for our Gethsamane. When those hard times come God is going to use it to pound out the kinks in your armor much like he pound out the kinks in my armor in the days and years following the loss of our daughter Maria.
There was really nothing good about Good Friday other than we had to walk that lonely expanse of time to prepare us for Resurrection Sunday and God's reminder that his son has overcome death for all time so we can have the assurance that our lives will continue when life on earth ends. For me it was a reminder that our loved ones are walking the streets of gold and enjoying their new lives in heaven.
Go ahead and embrace your Gethsemane and watch God change you into his image.
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