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Sunday, June 30, 2013

Sometimes it takes the storms in our lives to remind us how much we need God


And Peter answered him and said, Lord, if it be you, bid me come to you on the water. And he said, Come. And when Peter was come down out of the ship, he walked on the water, to go to Jesus. But when he saw the wind boisterous, he was afraid; and beginning to sink, he cried, saying, Lord, save me.Matthew 14:29

Sitting by the lake, riding the gentle waves in our sail boat, or reading a good book in the hammock gently swinging in the breeze are all reminders of what vacations are like. Not a care free worry to think about except how much our loved ones mean to us. 

When those gentle waves suddenly turn violent and that hammock you found restful just moments ago suddenly throws you out as the gale force winds pick up you begin to panic and worry. 

The sudden loss of a loved one can seem like riding  in a dangerous storm  in a boat we try so disparately to stay afloat. The storm it seems never ends. We watch others sitting in their sail boats on gentle waves with not a carefree worry in the world and wonder aloud "Why God!?" "Why me!?"We question God's love for us because if He really loved me He would stop these storms and still the water. 

It is while we are in the midst of the storms that some of the greatest lessons in life are learned. Peter certainly learned them. When the Sea of Galilee suddenly turned violent and threatened to swamp their fishing vessel all hope was lost until Peter saw Jesus walking on the water toward him.  When Peter began sinking after trying to follow Jesus's lead by walking on the water he called out to God to "save me"  Sometimes that is the only thing we can muster when the storms threaten to swamp us. 

The storm, it seems, wakens us to the reality that we really need God in our lives.   When our family experience our sudden, unexpected loss we learned that allowing God to draw near to us was the only solace we could find. Nothing else mattered in life.  Self actualization didn't matter. Burning incense in a darken room didn't matter. Practicing yoga didn't matter.

Calling out to God like Peter did was the only thing that mattered.  If you are in a sail boat on a gentle lake please remember that storms do come and when they come it doesn't  have to be the end.  The storm just may be the greatest moment in time where God reminds you how much He loves you. Peter certainly learned that lesson.

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Gee whiz, I am not the same person I was before my loss! What gives?


4 And when a great multitude had gathered, and they had come to Him from every city, He spoke by a parable: 5 “A sower went out to sow his seed. And as he sowed, some fell by the wayside; and it was trampled down, and the birds of the air devoured it.6 Some fell on rock; and as soon as it sprang up, it withered away because it lacked moisture. 7 And some fell among thorns, and the thorns sprang up with it and choked it. 8 But others fell on good ground, sprang up, and yielded a crop a hundredfold.”When He had said these things He cried, “He who has ears to hear, let him hear!” Matthew 8:4



I often heard this question asked by people who have gone through losses that they are not the same person they were before their loved one died. For me it was my anger at the injustice I thought had betrayed me that changed me. Why? Why? Why? Those words went through my head over and over again like a CD that wants to keep playing the same lyrics again and again. Only when I sat quietly listening and reading passages from God's word did I begin to understand from His perspective why this happened.

Tragedies in our lives permanently changes us. Many of us were not the same after 9/11occurred. Many of us turned to God for comfort and guidance. Our hearts were ripe for hearing what He had to say to us. Hard times will do that.


 As we go through a period of uncertainty of market losses our natural inclination is to lash out in anger like I did shortly after my loss. "This cannot happen to me! I was counting on that money for retirement!!"

It is OK to be angry, but for our long term health we cannot stay fixated on our anger. We must process it and the only way to process it is to turn to the King of kings and the Lord of lords and see what He has to say about what just happened.

Losses will always be with us. Loss of a job, loss of good health,divorce of parents, loss of a spouse, a child and the loss of material wealth will ebb and flow much like the waves of an ocean. How you respond to those losses is the important question. Will you lash out in anger, reject God, turn to drugs and alcohol to cope with your losses, or will you pick yourself up each Sabbath morning and head to your local house of worship and listen to what God has to say to you that week? 


In the beginning of our loss we may have to literally place one foot in front of the other and painfully go to church, but in time you will reap many more blessings from that worship experience. Hard times do change us. We are not the same, but this isn't all bad once you begin to see the meaning behind those losses in your life!!



Saturday, June 22, 2013

Every once in a while a movie comes along that eloquently paints a picture of grief



Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.


After we returned home from another graduation open house we decided at my son's suggestion to watch the Matt Damon movie 'We brought a zoo'.  I must admit when it first came out my initial impressions were not positive.  I thought it would be another stupid film about talking animals with the main character doing stupid stunts just to get a laugh.

This movie eloquently paints a picture of the profound effects of grief and it's impact on each member of the family when the family lost their wife and mother. One of the earlier scenes showed the youngest member not being able to get to sleep because the neighbors next door were having a party. Her line about their happy being too loud illustrates the inner pain a grieving family is going through while the rest of the world is having fun.   The teen age son gets expelled for painting pictures depicting his angry inner turmoil since he lost his mother illustrated how each member grieves differently after a loss.

When the main character  decides to quit his job and take his family on an adventure to find a new place to live illustrates how our response to grief is to avoid it by completely change our surroundings.   What they got after their move was anything but being able to bury that grief when each of the supporting cast observed how each family member interacted while grieving.  Only until they were able to come to grips with their pain and deal with it head on were they able to process it.  Matt's decision to finally allow the staff to put the Bengal tiger down came after he came to grips with his emotions of losing his wife.

I recommend this movie for the simple reason that it is well done and  may open the door to talk about about how the physical loss of a loved one has impacted each family member.  This movie is a mixture of very entertaining, sometimes humorous scenes mixed in with the serious side of how a family recovers from their grief.  As a result of  this family processing their grief they were able to see the beauty of other relationships. As the character who represented Matt Damon's brother said, " I love those animals, but I sure do love those humans".

This is definitely a movie worth watching because it will present opportunities for the family to talk about how each of them responds to the same loss.








Tuesday, June 18, 2013

God does his best though our weaknesses

god 



9 As he went along, he saw a man blind from birth. 2 His disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?”
3 “Neither this man nor his parents sinned,” said Jesus, “but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him. 4 As long as it is day, we must do the works of him who sent me. Night is coming, when no one can work.5 While I am in the world, I am the light of the world.”
6 After saying this, he spit on the ground, made some mud with the saliva, and put it on the man’s eyes. 7 “Go,” he told him, “wash in the Pool of Siloam” (this word means “Sent”). So the man went and washed, and came home seeing.




We often underestimate the abilities of our disabled community. It is common for people to lower their expectations on what people with disabilities  are capable of doing. We relegate them to lower level jobs and the expectation  we have for them.  People with disabilities are often the last to get hired and the first to be let go.  .


Where it is easy to see the impossible in a person's life God sees the possible. Throughout the ages He has used people with disabilities to humble mankind.  In Exodus 3:10 Moses reminded God that he was slow in speech and tongue.  Through a series of questions God reminded Moses that He determines human abilities and disabilities.  In Exodus 4:10 God reminded Moses  “Who gave man his mouth? Who makes him deaf or mute? Who gives him sight or makes him blind? Is it not I, the Lord?” (Exodus 4:11). God knew Moses wasn't a gifted speaker, but yet He chose him to be his spokesperson.

Paul was reminded in 2 Corinthians  12:9 that: “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness” 


To understand people with disabilities we need to  build relationships with them. Developing friendships encourages them to open up to the love of God.  It also fulfills the words of Jesus when he said,"I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me” (Matthew 25:35,36).


God calls everyone with a disability to come to Him and just as He invites everyone to come to Him He says to each of us, , “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls” (Matthew 11:28,29)  


God's first concern is for the soul.  A lifetime with a disability followed by an eternity with God is to be preferred to a lifetime with health and wealth followed by an eternity separated from God. In a culture that worships physical perfection, devalues human life, and takes pride in disposability, the church must protect the helpless, vulnerable, disenfranchised, including people with disabilities. They are people created in God’s image, possessing dignity,value,and purpose.

 Imagine if you were the parent of Nick Vujicic the morning he was born and you just discovered your son had no arms or no legs. You probably would be set on a course of pretty severe grief wondering about the what if's and assuming if you just did things differently your son would have had two arms and two legs.

You assume  that your disabled child has no hope for the future.  As you read John 9 you are reminded that God had a different view of your disabled child. Just as you assumed your child would be relegated to a life of dependency God promised in his word that he was made that way just so the works of God can be shown through him.


 God doesn't need the best and the brightest, nor does he need the most fluent or the most affluent to do His work.  We discover that God does his greatest work in those who are weak, tired, or even disabled.


Nick Vujicic is one example of God using a physical weakness and the absence of limbs to spread the gospel to every man, woman and child in this universe. God revealed to his parents that He has a plan for Nick's life. .

I hope you take the time to listen to Nick's testimony. It just may change the way you think about the disabled community. It just might be a reminder that God really does care for your child and he alone has a perfect plan for their lives.

Monday, June 17, 2013

99 Balloons


I saw this video posted by a friend and it was so moving that I had to post it on my blog. This video is a reminder to all of us that our children are on loan to us. They are not our possessions and we do  not own them.  They belong to God and we are entrusted by God to take care of them for a short while. This little boy was born with significant health issues and as you can see in this video this little boy was well loved by everyone who came in contact with him.  As parents we must lean into our grief and ask God to guide us on our grief journey.  We may cry many gallons of tears, but in time God will make us whole again.

The hope we have in Christ is that one day we will see our loved one again.  When we see them we will finally understand.  When we experience our loved one in their brand new body running on the streets of heaven we will understand why things happened the way they did.




Sunday, June 16, 2013

At one open house I was reminded how God will never waste your pain



Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

This weekend has been another awesome weekend of open houses for my son's graduating class of 2013. It has been fun encouraging his classmates as they begin their new journey in life in whatever direction God has for them and it was fun talking to the parents of these young people and seeing the pictures and awards their young person accumulated through out the parenting years.

I had the most beneficial time at the final open house because it was at the final place that I sense the presence of the Lord as I got to know a dad who I had never met and sat at the next table over. I was reminded in our conversation how God will never waste your pain.  As we talked I quickly learned that he recently lost his young adult son in a tragic accident he, nor anyone else had any control over.  Because of my grief just 7 years before I could feel his inner most turmoil and the daily, if not hourly, pangs of grief. I was able to share the loss of our little girl, Maria, just 7 years ago through another tragic set of circumstances that were suppose to have helped her, but took her life instead.

I don't think it was by 'chance' that I ended up talking to him.  I believe God placed us there to encourage each other with our faith stories. Like me, he continues to be placing one foot in front of the other and clinging onto his faith in Christ by weekly attending church. Like me, he is finding opportunities to listen to newly bereaved people as they describe their inner most pain and turmoil.   Like me, he continues to navigate through a mine field of grief that occasionally explodes through his misplaced step. Like me, he has decided that he can't simply quit the Christian walk because of what happened to his family because like me he realized that there are those around him that are looking at him as a model for how to respond to life's circumstances no matter how severe those circumstances may be.

As I talk with newly bereaved people and as I listen to their innermost pain I am reminded that of the above verse that he will use our pain to help those who suffer after us.  I have this picture in my mind of a family going out on a  sailing adventure. It is a beautiful sunshine day with temperatures in the 80's. Picture perfect in every way.  Before that sailing adventure it is imperative that the family learn what to do should the weather turn nasty and the white caps are threatening to over turn their boat.  It is often the grief an sorrow that become those storms in our lives. Learning how to navigate those sudden losses will determine our ability to weather those storms. 

 God promised us that storms will come. Hard times and tragic losses will occur and when they do God will be there walking every step of the way with us.  As we begin to come out of our fog of grief God will bring other people into our lives who are new to grief and sorrow and he will give us opportunities to encourage and walk with them. God will never waste your pain.

Friday, June 14, 2013

We need to live like we are on borrowed time: a September 11th pilot's testimony


For those of us who  have experienced tragedies life  takes on a different meaning. We are not the same people we were before the tragedy struck. Our life's purpose takes on a different perspective.

 This person you are about to watch was a long time employee of American Airlines.  He was originally assigned to fly American Airlines flight 11 out of Logan airport in Boston when a pilot of more seniority decided to bump him.  He was all packed and ready to take that flight when he checked his status and discovered a different pilot had been assigned in his place. He struggled with guilt because he knew it should have been him who should have died that day.  

He said there were two people who died for him that day. One was the pilot who took his seat in Flight 11 while the second person was Jesus Christ who hung on the cross and bled for him. He mentioned that years ago he wrote out his life's purpose and revealed those written words which was to make disciples and glorify God with his life so that one day he could stand before Christ and He would tell him "well done my good and faithful servant".  He said that he has an even more burning desire to see that happen after what happened on September 11th, 2001. May your faith be encouraged through this gripping faith testimony.

Thursday, June 13, 2013

God's Amazing Grace



1 Who can believe what we have heard, and for whose sake has the LORD's arm been revealed?2 He grew up like a young plant before us, like a root from dry ground. He possessed no splendid form for us to see, no desirable appearance. 3 He was despised and avoided by others; a man who suffered, who knew sickness well. Like someone from whom people hid their faces, he was despised, and we didn't think about him. 4 It was certainly our sickness that he carried, and our sufferings that he bore, but we thought him afflicted, struck down by God and tormented. 5 He was pierced because of our rebellions and crushed because of our crimes. He bore the punishment that made us whole; by his wounds we are healed Isaiah 53


I 'am a sap for faith stories.  It is in those stories that I see God's grace being woven into the person. I use to believe that the bigger our faith means the more we will be blessed materially and economically. I use to believe that if we are diligent in taking our children to Sunday school and worship together as husbands and wives before the Creator of the universe each week that nothing bad will ever happen to us.  After all, bad things only happen to those who are not faithful and do not attend church.  Right?

Wrong! My thinking began to change shortly after our loss of our daughter in 2007. It began to change as I began to see God's amazing grace being woven into our family's fabric.  It isn't the size of our bank account, the number of toys we have in our garage, nor is it the size of our home that determines the size of our faith. Job lost everything in his life. He lost his family, his possessions.  He had afflictions that you wouldn't wish on your worst enemy; yet, Job realized that the only thing that truly mattered to him was his faith in God and he continued to honor God through the hard times, through the afflictions, and while he grieved the loss of his children.

Even today God is still working amazing stories into peoples lives. There are people around us that have gone through some very difficult circumstances and life threatening illnesses where God continues to be painting little grace stories. 

 At we enter our own afflictions we may feel that God has abandoned us, or that he doesn't love us, but by listening to other peoples powerful faith testimonies we begin to see that we haven't been abandoned and God really does love us.  Although we wished the one we lost was still here with us we have the assurance that because of what Jesus did on the cross for us we can grieve with hope that one day we would see our loved one again.

I hope you are encouraged watching this brief video about a gentleman who continues to have faith even as he faces  his own horrible affliction.  May you begin to look at your own life in a new way as a story of God's own amazing grace!

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Lingering grief




Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds James 1:2

In America, the land of the free and the home of the brave, we do not do a very good job in the grief department.  We look for open doors and unused compartments to shove our grief in where we hope to never encounter it again.  We want to lock the door on grief, turn the key on grief and then toss the key away where we hope never to find it again.

 Grief is a painful subject for many people.  We would rather drown out sorrows over it. Indulge in eating too much comfort food over it. Throw ourselves into working too much over it. Throw away our marriages over it. We will do anything but do the one thing that we know we should do which is to 'talk about it'.  We don't talk about it because we do not see anyone else who struggles with these emotions. 

 As American's we watch people going through life with a stiff upper lip who when ask will say 'everything is fine, my family is great, my job is great, but the last thing they will tell you is their inner most pain they buried away in a closed up vault somewhere. You see the collateral damage from grief like unresolved drinking problems, DUI convictions, gambling addictions that deplete their savings account. We think resolving those problems will lead to total healing.  Until we recognize that unresolved grief lead to the drinking problem,the gambling problem, the over eating we will never get to the root of the problem. 

 The problem with this approach is unresolved grief has a tendency to resurface at the least unexpected times. Unresolved grief comes out in ways you do not desire for it to surface. Grief can bring out health problems that can be very serious.  I read a study one time that said that people who suffer losses have a higher risk for cancer down the road from their grief.  I believe unresolved grief can trigger these things in our bodies unless we learn to express our grief in a healthy manner.  Find a friend who will be a trusted listener who is not afraid to listen to the profound pain you feel deep inside. 

We must also realize  that there is no correlation between the size of one's faith and escaping pain and suffering.  In fact, the opposite is true.  If you are living a Christian life you can expect that at some point suffering will be part of that picture. In James 1:2 I read 'count it all joy when you meet trials of various kinds. Suffering is part of God's bigger picture to redeem the people He has always loved and who he does not want to see perished.  Your suffering, even for only a brief moment, may bring others to Christ. So how do we allow others to know about our journey unless we talk about it?  How do we let them know that it is  normal when those wretched emotions of our grief enter into us unless we talk about it?  So the next time you receive the dreaded phone call at 3:00 am lean into your pain and find a trusted friend willing to walk the journey with you. Your grief journey just may be a role model for others to embrace!

Saturday, June 8, 2013

Those emotionally filled dates




Everyone has them. Those dreaded dates on our calendars that are filled with the emotions of when the things you least expected occurred.  It may be the day your spouse left you.  It may be the day you received your pink slip. It may even the day you received a foreclosure notice in the mail, or it may be the day your loved one died. As we get closer to those dreaded dates it seems that our emotions sometimes get the best of us.  We cry more easily. We want so much to just fast forward to the day on the other side of that dreaded date just so we can escape the pain.

There was an event that falls on June 10th that will always be filled with emotion in our family.  A friend told me that when his dreaded date comes up each year ( his daughter died) he still cannot function at work and he takes the day off just to lament and remember his daughter.

There was another date that I found out was the most pivotal moment in my son's life.  It was the first Sunday morning following the loss of Maria. June 17th was a day when I walked into my son's room and saw him sitting on the edge of his bed with a look of sadness.  He said to me "dad, I don't feel like going to church do I have to go?"  I sat down with him and placed my arm around  his shoulder trying to think of something profound to say that would bring comfort to this 12 year old  grieving boy's life. Then I said " You know you may not feel like going to church and I know Mom certainly doesn't feel like going and I am not feeling like going and  maybe we can all just stay home.  But then we will deprive ourselves of the opportunity to receive an encouraging word from a friend that just might help us get through the day."  My son looked up to me and said "OK" before getting dressed. Years later my son told me that  conversation we had on that morning June 17th, 2013 was the most pivotal moment in his life because he saw that his dad wasn't going to quit.  

God didn't quit either.  He found a way to redeem mankind by allowing his son Jesus to be the sacrificial lamb that would forever lay to rest the need for providing a sin offering. We had been redeemed, cleanse, purified and on the day of our homecoming we will be presented to God completely sin free because of His sacrifice.

Instead of dwelling on those emotional dates that brings tears to our eyes focus on those God moments where He has touched you in some way. Keep a journal and write those dates down.  Focus on those around you who may be inspired by Him to touch you with his healing salve.  Until we are called home we as believers need each other. Next time you do not feel like going to church remember like my son did that going to church just may be the opportunity you have to receive a encouraging word to heal your inner pain.

Friday, June 7, 2013

Not Home Yet







14 For this world is not our home; we are looking forward to our city in heaven, which is yet to come. 15 With Jesus' help, let us continually offer our sacrifice of praise to God by proclaiming the glory of his name. 16 Don't forget to do good and to share what you have with those in need, for such sacrifices are very pleasing to God Hebrews 13:14-16

Lately, I began reading Mary Beth Chapman's book entitled 'Choosing to See' about her grief journey following the sudden loss of their daughter Maria. Mary Beth is the wife of famed Christian music artist Steven Curtis Chapman. Their grief journey began one year later after ours when their adopted daughter went into their son's blind spot and was killed as he was pulling up the driveway of their family's home.

The song I posted here had been written just 10 years before their tragedy and sung at the funeral of their friends daughter when she was killed when a truck T-boned theirs  as the she was driving home. They didn't really know this couple other than they were in a couples bible study group but the experience of walking this journey with this couple prepared them for their personal tragedy just 10 years later. Mary Beth writes in her book that this mom was one of the first people to call her when her daughter Maria died. Often when we experience a tragedy directly or indirectly we want so much for things to return to normal just before that tragedy occurred. We want our friends back just the way they were before the tragic event occurred. We are unable to see the true meaning of this tragedy, nor are we able to see the bigger picture from God's perspective.

 Like Mary Beth and her husband the first people who contacted our family after the sudden loss of our Maria were friends who had experience similar tragedies before we ever did. God uses the painful things in our lives to make us better at helping others with their pain. We are small picture people who have problems with organizing our own little world, but God sees the bigger picture regarding how the tragedies we face fit together. We may not see any purpose in the pain we face, but every day God is reminding us in his holy word and in the words of others that we will survive our pain and our pain will be used for good. Although those words may not be received well at the time they are said we are able to see the bigger picture once the deep fog of grief is lifted. Until it lifts about the most we can do is put one foot in front of the other and keep walking toward the goal of recovery. I have included the lyrics from Not home below.



Oh yeahTo all the travelers, pilgrims longing for a homeFrom one who walks with youOn this journey called life's roadIt is a long and winding road

From one who's seen the viewDreamt of staying on the mountains highAnd one who's cried like youWanting so much just to lay down and dieI offer this, we must remember this

We are not home yet, we are not home yetKeep on looking ahead, let your heart not forgetWe are not home yet, not home yet, not home yet

So close your eyes with meAnd hear the Father saying, " Welcome home"Let us find the strength in all His promises to carry onHe said, "I'll go prepare a place for you"

So let us not forgetWe are not home yet, we are not home yetKeep on looking ahead, let your heart not forgetWe are not home yet, we are not home yetKeep on looking ahead, let your heart not forgetWe are not home yet, no, no



Read more: STEVEN CURTIS CHAPMAN - NOT HOME YET LYRICS









Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Our children really are in good hands with our heavenly Father


Matthew 10:29-31 ESV / 52 helpful votes
Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? And not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father. But even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not, therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows



This has been a busy and yet also a emotional week. It has been a time of shutting doors behind us, saying goodbye to school friendships and looking beyond into the future.  As a dad it is quite easy to worry. Worry becomes ingrained along with all of the other stuff we worry about. If colleges gave a degree in worrying I would have the post graduate degree in it. 

 When I was finally able to say to God "Ok God, I give you the pain of the physical loss of my daughter" I began to worry over my son's future without knowing that God has it all planned out.  It is only  normal for parents to worry for their children. When they are young we get in our Bell Huery advance military helicopter and we hover over our son or daughter where ever they may be at the time. We get advance communication that something has gone awry in their class room and we are the first there to 'rescue' them. Many of us become master's at rescuing them.  Every school teacher in the world can write a book on the worst case of helicoptering they have seen in parents. Parents become the stumbling block for their children.

Many of us have grown up in homes with earthly father's who were ill prepared for the task of fathering and we bare the brunt of those efforts.  Whether it is some form of verbal or physical abuse, or working too much and not spending time with us when we were young many of us forget that we have a Heavenly father who can redeem the mistakes our earthly fathers have done and make things right for us. Once we discover this fact .we can lay down the controls to the Bell Huery helicopter and turn those controls to God who wants nothing but the best for his children.


None of us knows what the future beholds for any of us, nor would I even want to know if I could know it. If there is any lesson I have learned in this grief journey ( and it is a journey) it would be that God was walking with me every painful step of the way and He was walking with my son and my wife. Just as God cares about the ordinary sparrow and provides for them God truly loves our children and will provide for them.

Next time you are tempted to get into your advance Bell Huery helicopter and hover over your child please remember that we have a Father in heaven who has the experience to watch over them.  Instead of flying we could be crying out to the Lord of lords and the King of kings on behalf of our children. Our children really are in good hands with God if we give God the controls to their life.

Monday, June 3, 2013

Friends are friends forever



John 15:12-15
My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you





Yesterday we had an open house honoring our son for his hard work in graduating from Legacy Christian Academy. It was great watching him greet friends coming to recognize him. We didn't have a clue who would show up on this day and in some ways it made it extra special as we experienced these surprises. There were many more that may have shown up if time would have permitted, but the friends who came were a blessing.

We had a several display tables set up that highlighted his achievements and one set up that highlighted his memory book of James and his sister. It was a time for him to share with his friends the memories of his sister. He learned that even though she is no longer with us he can still cherish the memories of her and his friends who came began to understand the sorrow that was within him so they will know how to be a friend. Hence the lyrics to this song which were friends are friends forever who will never say never if the Lord is the lord of them really poignantly paints a picture of beautiful Christian fellowship.


If there is a lesson in this message that it would be the importance for our graduating seniors to always spend time with Jesus Christ by reading his word and as the Holy Spirit changes your heart and frees you of the worldly sin's of lusting after greed and other selfish desires the Lord will also give you a heart to be a true friend to others. It is a beautiful thing to see God's presence changing the lives of his people!

Finally, I envision while having this open house for our son our own special day when we are in the Heaven throne room where one by one we will see friends we hadn't seen since the day we saw the casket being closed on them. Our eyes will open wide as they enter the throne room and we see them more alive and full of life. It was the precious blood of Jesus that made it all possible for us.


Lastly, having friends begins with you. Turn to the Lord and seek him. As you do this God will draw people to you who will not abandon you in your day of need. That is the beautiful gift of Christian friendship!!