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Sunday, February 28, 2021

Yes, it is possible to die from a broken heart after a loss...some thoughts from watching the Call the Midwives episode

 


16 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16

Yes, it is possible to die from a broken heart- something I learned from watching Call the Midwife.  In the opening scene, we see a young lady who was likely in her 20's working as a typist in the companies typing pool.   She knew she needed to use the bathroom and so she raises a spoon-like device to get the attention of the lady who supervises the typing pool.   Apparently, this young lady had abused the bathroom privilege once too often which lead the head boss to mock her by counting the seconds before she returns.  In the scene that takes place in the bathroom stall, she pulls down the girdle she used to conceal her pregnancy for she knows if the company knew she was pregnant she would lose her job.  As she sat on the cover of the commode she reads a letter she received from home asking her to come home.  

 Once work was done she boarded the bus for the trip home.  When she noticed the bus was approaching the corner where she grew up she got up and waited for the bus to stop.  She sees the building and walks into a place that turns out to be a British Pub her father owned.   She cuts through the crowded pub, heading up the stairs into a series of family living quarters.  She sees in one room her father who is lying flat in bed. His icy steers were enough to shatter a mirror. We learned that her dad not only suffered the loss of his wife, but his youngest daughter, and 3 of his sons during a epidemic. One by one he watched his kids die, a pain that broke him. Those losses made it hard to watch his surviving daughter d leave home.   Her dad said, "one by one I watched my wife die and then each of my 3 son's and youngest daughter die in this epidemic and then I watched you walk out of my life. 

When they saw each other for the first time in years there was an exchange of harsh words between the two of them. He was bitter watching her depart when he needed her and she lashed back at the bitter insults from her dad. Julie knew that her dad wasn't doing well and that she had to call for the doctor.  

When the doctor arrived he looked at his swollen ankles and listened to his heart. He knew right away that her dad was on the descending side of life.  This doctor told Julie that her dad suffered a heart attack 2 years ago and that he was dying.  He reminded  her that he cannot be left alone of which Julie mentioned that she cannot stay as she had a job.  After much discussion, she agreed to stay one night. The doctor sees that she is pregnant and urged her to see one of the nurses at the pregnancy center.  She eventually sees Jenny, one of those nurses, who examines her and happily shares with her the news of a healthy pregnancy.  When Jenny discovered that it wasn't Julie's intent to stay beyond one night, Julie was reminded that her dad cannot be left alone in his condition. She was reminded that both her and her dad had been through some major losses.   

As she unpacked her suitcase and began putting away her clothes she saw a row of her deceased siblings shoes lined in a row in  the bottom dresser drawer. She continued to make the room seem like home again by taking out the long hidden pictures of her family and putting it out on her dad's bedside table. 

At first, the  exchanges between father and daughter were harsh, but in a short period of time, their  love for each other  was rekindled. Her father reminded Julie that she was in many ways just like him- stubborn.  

When it was time for her to deliver her baby she would not leave her dad's side until there was a nurse to sit by his bedside.  She wanted more than anything to have her dad see his one and only grand child before he died. 

Two nurses eventually arrived at the family residence- one to watch and monitor her father who was declining more rapidly than before and the other one to help Julie deliver her baby. 

The nurse at his bedside encouraged him to hang on because he was about to have his first grandchild.   The baby was delivered just in time when Julie asked Jenny to bring the child to her father. Her father was told that the baby is a boy of which her opened his eyes and brought a smile to his face. He  asked if he could hold him. There were tears of happiness in his eyes and as he was  holding onto his new born grandchild he slipped away into eternal sleep.

In the final scene, we learned that Julie has taken over her father's business of running the Pub. She has a new source of income to support her child. From her reunion with her dad, she learned not to run away from her grief, but to embrace it for our past pain can create new positive memories.

This episode teaches of the importance of going through the pain of our loss, not around it. It teaches us to look at those pictures of our deceased loved ones until the moment arrives where we can smile when we see those pictures. 

If you are suffering from the pain of a loss I would encourage you to check out a 13-week Grief share group that will take you through the process of healing from such a loss by finding a group near you at this link.  https://www.griefshare.org/

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