Tips on ministering to people who have suffered losses

Where am I going with this topic? The isolation that is imposed on families who have suffered the loss of a child, or sibling, by those around them is perhaps the most damaging effects of their grief recovery. There, I said it and now the Pandora box has been opened. Since our daughter died 5 years ago I have noticed this in other families going through the grieving process as those around them try to make them what they once were before the loss.  They try to cheer them up, tell jokes, or attempt to divert them onto to other topics away from the loss. " Say how about those /Vikings?" or "what do you think about that string of warm weather we're been having?" are just some of the examples of comments I have heard over the years.

It seems that most are capable of only giving casual acknowledgment of their grieving while only a few are capable of actually sitting in the muck and the mire of the families grief for however long it would take before they have any sense of returning to normalcy they once were before their tragic loss.

I still profoundly remember after Maria died when the school chaplain sent a letter to all of the families at her school to not contact our family "because all of their needs were being met by their church". This was not our wish and it set us on a course that summer of isolation and pain that made us wonder if anyone out there even cared about us?  I thought this was a only a mistake, but when my brother in law made a  comment passed along from one family member to the next prior to our trip to California last summer to please not mention Maria's death to his new wife while we are there I realize this wasn't a mistake. Say what?  How is it not possible to talk about our little girl who we spent the first 10 years raising or the sibling my son played with in those years?   We think about her 24-7 and yet we can't talk about those memories with the people who also knew her?

The image that comes to my mind is our family waiting to board the ship, We're in this large room. There are hundreds of other families with looks of shock and sadness.  These families didn't want to be in this room. No.  They were not taking a cruise to Cancun, nor were they being greeted by the Disney character's  prior to boarding.  In their hand were the tickets given them to travel to the island where families who have lost children must go.  As long as they are on this island then those around them will not have to handle how to express on-going condolences to them.  This imposed isolation by those around them who simply want life to be like it was before the loss is unbearable for many suffering those losses.

It seems that when we lose a parent or grandparent we understand the process of how to grieve and offer condolences, but when a child dies there is no instructional manual we can turn to too help us. Simply, children are not suppose to die before us which means we cannot put our hands around that beastly thought.

To help you understand how you can better support those around you who must grapple with this unthinkable I have place a link to Compassionate Friends on my website www.soaringonwingsofeagles.weebly.com.  I would encourage you to go that link so you have have a better idea how to support those who have suffered and continue to suffer with these types of losses.

Life does change forever when a child dies.  We are not the people we once were before our loss, but having friends who are willing to walk with us through this painful journey and allow us to talk about our loss will help us recover quicker than being given a ticket to the island where families who have suffer losses of children go.

Our God is a mighty rescuer

but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. Isaiah 40:31

Our family attended the showing of the Hobbit recently and found it to be a very well done movie from a entertainment standpoint.  My favorite scene from this movie was when the dwarfs and hobbits were facing impending doom at the hands of the Orcs when out of nowhere a flock of eagles had come to rescue each of them from their doom.

This was the way God had worked in each of our lives on the morning of our daughter's passing. Sensing that our family would face an irreversible and fatal blow God sent eagles down to bring us to safety. Each of us was picked up by a different eagle and each of us took a very different journey to safety.  All of us were rescued  and in the end each of us came out of the dark periods of our lives much stronger than when we first went in.

Our God made a promise to us that we would not be forgotten. He fulfilled his promise to us by sending us the gift of a Savior.  Just like each of us chose to opened the door of our hearts to allow Jesus to come in He is standing at your heart asking if you would let him in and when you do He promises to walk with you through whatever journey your life takes you on.  

When impending doom encroaches on you you can rest knowing that you have a savior who will rescue you from all perils and dangers whether like our daughter He brings her home to heaven, or He surrounds you with the mighty winged eagle to rescue  you and bring you to a place of safety and make you stronger once the storm passes.

Adrian Peterson talks about watching his brother die after being hit by a car at 7

Minnesota Viking Adrian Peterson shares with a CBN reporter how his faith in Christ has kept him strong and helped him recover from a near career ending injury one year ago.  Midway through his interview he shares about watching his older brother die after being hit by a car when he was 7 years old and what that meant in his life.  He is another example of how God healed his pain and helped him excel on the gridiron.

Amazing how a child can remind us of the preciousness of life

There have many times in the past 5 years where I have seen my son reminding us of the beauty of life and when our love one departs they immediately are ushered into the very presence of the King of Kings and Lord of Lords. If only we could get a simple glimpse of that homecoming. Alas, we are left here to shed tears of sorrow until a young child reminds us of God's love for us. Isn't that what Christmas is about? To celebrate the time God brought a young child into our world who would be the saving grace for all mankind. through this child all of us have the opportunity to have our own homecoming.

Enjoy this lighthearted story written one year ago

                                   It was a day after Christmas in the land of no snow
The day after Christmas we had record setting temperatures well into the low 50’s in the land of no snow. In a land that was by any other year was use to record setting lows, trips to the emergency room for frost bite, and kids getting new winter coats because they wore out the ones they wore the year before. Fathers and sons were looking forward to trying out their new Ferrari fast snow mobiles and good Samaritan neighbors often looked forward to being neighborly by blowing out the driveways of people of lesser means who only had a single shovel. On those rare occasions when Paul the weather guy was correct in his weather prediction those with just a simple shovel would rise early in the morning only to find their neighbor had snow blown half of his driveway. That was the way it was in the land of snow and when this travesty of warm California like temperatures started occurring people found it hard to find other ways of being neighborly. Minnesotans are a very passive bunch and would often rather do something to befriend someone than spend an hour chatting with them.

The guys at the VFW hall who went snow chasing came back empty handed. They drove as far west as New Mexico before they began seeing flakes before deciding that they ought to go back home before their wives and girl friends started to miss them. The day after Christmas was meant as a day where dad’s took their kids sledding at the nearest hill. It was a day of climbing up the hills pulling their kids in their sleds and riding down with them if they are young. It was a day where all the dads wished they had taken better care of themselves and wondering if climbing the hill would bring on a massive coronary. The day after Christmas was meant to be a day of drinking hot cocoa and putting another log on the fire and sharing memories of Christmas’s in by-gone era when the two of you were small. It was not meant going out side changing fuses in the Christmas lights because the rain had shorted out the lights.

Most families in these parts had already packed away their summer clothing in October and when Cam the weather guy from CC0 reported more balmy weather they were left to look at all their sweaters and thick sweat shirts and wondering what they had to wear. In one household William was so determined to take advantage of the warm weather that he ran downstairs to tear into the box marked summer clothes which was at the very bottom of the neatly arranged stack that took his wife days to organize.

Families in the land of no snow began to see this as a new pattern of weather. They began to adapt by filling their gas grills with propane and getting the garden hoses out and attempting to get their grass out of dormancy. The woman in town got together and disperse any seeds they had between them to see if they could grow something in this much improve growing climate.

Kids were adapting very nicely and in fact enjoyed going outdoors not having to bundle up so tight with several layers of clothing. Through the front window mom’s and dad’s could watch as they were riding the bikes they got for Christmas and laughing with their friends. Some were playing catch while throwing the football with their dad in the front yard. Little Tommy Thatchard was running through the sprinkler his mom put out for him. Even the dogs got into the act as they retrieve the ball that was thrown by their master in a endless game of catch.

The day after Christmas was no retailer’s dream as people began returning the winter coats they receive for Christmas thinking that they no longer needed these thick coats with the changing California like weather that until now they could only dream about. Retailers had only begun putting up the signs for spring season wear, but they had no spring clothing to sell to these people returning their coats. After all, the spring clothing wasn’t due in until February.

With no snow in the forecast home owners who were counting on snow to hold their manger scenes down were out of luck. Whenever a northwesterly wind came up each of these manger figurines would blow over as though nature was having fun bowling. Mark, who lived in the blue house across the street from ours had a very frustrating time with his collapsing manger scene until he decided to give up setting it up until the winds had passed over.

Down at the Realtor’s office, Angela, a registered and licensed realtor was fielding phone calls from speculators wanting to cash in on what they think would become new ocean front property when property west of the Minnesota border would collapse into the ocean as a result of predicted tsunami’s and earthquakes. Overnight small towns near the border saw sky rocketing land values. Folks like Avis and Arlen Stankey were made instant millionaires when they sold their small plat of land on E Bay. Lutheran Pastors were so concerned about this instant wealth that they began delivering sermons on the dangers of greed.

All good things must come to an end in the land of no snow. That night we watched Cam the weather guy from CC0 report on a major snow storm moving in from Colorado. He described the epic cold that would follow with a path of 10 foot snow drifts. The guys from the VFW lodge who went snow chasing were buying each other a round of drinks while patting themselves on their backs because they accomplished their mission after all.

The good Samaritan neighbors were ecstatic at the prospects of helping their less fortunate shovel poor neighbors. Those who took their winter coats back to the store thinking we were about to be the new California were disappointed and were left to wear their old worn out winter coat with the tear in the sleeve. Retailers were having a heyday as they sell the remaining stock of warm winter clothing. Wives were looking forward to making hot cocoa and reading their novel by the fire while the snow blew outside. Children that night were all heard praying to God to grant them a snow day so they could stay home and play. What they didn’t know was how the school administrators were praying that everything will work out logistically and that the roads would get plowed so school could be held. I am sure the good Lord was up there smiling wondering which prayer to answer.

There is a certain badge of honor to living in this land. Unless you grew up on a farm you very rarely saw a snow day. Almost as though the folks from the land of snow enjoyed gloating to their neighbors to the south and west how strong they are because they made it to work and school despite the high snow drifts and treacherous roads. They would laugh at the reports from other states when everything shut down when the temperature dropped below 32 degrees.

The unseasonably warm weather in the land of no snow was merely a blip on the radar. Almost like God decided to have a laugh by shifting the weather patterns around and watching people struggle as they try to adapt to something they are not accustomed to this time of the year. So when the snow fell and the temperatures dip people were relieved in the land of snow. Now they get their bragging rights back about how they survived the great blizzard of 011.
Todd Gabrielson

Seeking a new balance in a family who has suffered the loss of a child

Compassionate friends is another support group that families who have suffered the loss of a child can attend to gain emotional support and understanding. I have included this 55 minute webinar on my blog as a educational tool to teach you  about how losing a child can effect the family. Compassionate friends has helped thousands of families every year to recover from the throes of grief. I encourage you to listen to this informative webinar and also encourage you to forward this blog to anyone you may know who has experience the death of a child.

Celebrating Christmas in the midst of grieving

Recently, I listened to the wife of a Pastor share her grief over losing their 12 year old son, Conner, to a sudden unexpected medical event just 3 1/2 years ago.  Before losing her son she remembers how critical of people she would be who struggled with depression and anxiety disorders. Only after she lost her son did she truly understand why people struggle with these problems.Her husband remembers not really understanding the significance of  losing a child even though he had counseled many couples who did suffer this type of loss  Only when he lost Conner did he suddenly understand  the  pain of losing a child.

His wife describes her grief as though she had been thrown into a very deep, cavernous pit and looking up and asking God 'why us'. She describes how she couldn't sing certain praise songs in church that had the phrase,'God is good all the time' and thinking that God isn't good all the time because this doesn't feel like love. She remembers well meaning friends tossing her bible verses to cling to that might offer her a glimmer of hope, but in reality what she needed was for someone to climb down into the cavernous pit and sit with her as she worked through the ugly and messy grief process.

 Finally one day she received a phone call from a woman who lost her 17 year old son several years ago. She offered no bible verses, but  instead threw down a long ladder and climbed directly into the dark pit and sat with her as she grappled with her messy grief.

Christmas time is often a painful time for families who struggle over the memories of their deceased child. The surviving children often struggle watching their classmates criticize their siblings and talking all the things they want for Christmas. While their friends are living in a Disney experience these children are forced to experience something most of us do not experience until much later in life.   Instead of experiencing the joys of the Christmas  these  families have been thrown into a dark and cavernous pit where it is very hard to experience the joys that others feel.

Are you willing to throw down a ladder and climb  into the cavernous pit where your grieving friend sits?  This is exactly what they need when grief overtakes them. When you do decide to climb into the pit please be reminded that  the grief process isn't determined by you, but it is determined by the uniqueness of their grief.  Your willingness to walk this grief journey with them will in the end carry intangible rewards as you see full healing take place in their lives. You will experience joy as you watch your friend singing in church  the very song he or she could not sing when grief first entered their life.

May you and your family have a very blessed and joy filled Christmas as we reflect on God's gift to the world which reminds us that no matter what happens in this life God's son is their to help us.

In all due respect sir I think this is going to be our finest hour

Fiscal cliff, school shootings, shorter days and longer nights, economic uncertainty are just some of the things that cause us to despair.  As I laid in bed trying to sleep I remembered the famous words uttered by the Apollo 13 chief to quiet down all of the naysayers in the mission room.

It seems that at times misery likes company.  It is easier to come up with reasons why something cannot be done than it is to come up with a solution to the problem.  What if Thomas Edison had given up on ever inventing the light bulb as failure after failure occurred?  What if Alexander Graham Bell gave up on inventing the telephone as he saw his experiments fail? What if our government had decided to give into the south and instead of being one great nation we remained two smaller entities?  

Some of the greatest accomplishments have occurred in the 'finest hours'. Some of the greatest political accomplishments have occurred when there are known deadlines approaching.  In regards to the fiscal cliff 24 hour coverage the media isn't telling us all of the closed door meetings that are currently going on to work out a deal.  All we are seeing are short quotes from both parties which are design to maximize the media coverage.

After our daughter passed away I discovered through my season of grief that God has been and continues to be the master of comeback stories.  It doesn't matter which book you read, old or new testament, you will notice many come back stories.  If we trust God and believe that He can do what he says in the bible we will come out stronger at the end of our season of grief than we first went in.

If you are in a season of grief where it is hard for you to be positive try watching movies like Apollo 13, It's a wonderful life,  and Rudy because these are all comeback movies where against impossible odds great things were accomplished.  

As you see your self getting discouraged imagine that you wife turns to you with a smile on her face and says, "In all due respect sir, this is going to be our finest hour",

As a dad who lost a child this is what I think will play out in Connecticut

This coming week is going to be hard on anyone touched by the tragedies coming out of New Town, Connecticut. Who can ever forget the breaking news of a deranged gun men breaking into a elementary school and killing 20 impressionable children and 7 adults who tried to prevent him from the attacks.


Who can ever forget seeing the faces of distraught and emotionally exhausted mom's and dad's as they walked away from the school having just learned that their child was one of those who died in the attacks. Grief will not be easy for any of these families.


This week many of these 5-10 year old's will be buried. These families will be riding a supernatural strength as they make their funeral arrangements so much so that many of their friends, untouched by tragedy, will remark about how well they are doing despite losing a child. Some of these families will experience financial havoc along with their emotional pain as some of them won't have life insurance to pay for the funeral and burial expenses. In a conversation I had with a funeral home director following the death of our daughter I was surprise to hear this fact. None of us expect to bury a child.


They will continue to ride the supernatural strength through the day of the funeral where some of the dad's will want to say something about their child despite the Pastor cautioning him about the possibility of being overcome with emotion and not being able to finish their speech. Only when they agreed that the Pastor can step forward to finish what he was saying do they agree on this arrangement.


Once the final clump of dirt has been tossed into the grave of their child and everyone goes their own ways do the parents begin to feel the supernatural strength leave them and a significant depression overtakes them. That first week they will have problems sleeping. Tossing and turning they will be unable to escape the images of what they imagine are their child's final moments before he or she died. Some parents will sleep with an article of their child's clothing hoping to smell their scent in disparate attempt to feel their child's closeness. Husbands and wives will begin to grieve like polar opposites. Husbands vent their anger and try to place blame what caused these tragedies. Wive's will desire to attempt to get through the grief by crying. Because of their anger husbands will not be able to provide the comfort their wive's will need at this juncture of their grief.


The surviving children in these families will struggle as well. Many of them will wonder why mommy and daddy stopped loving them. They see mommy sleeping long hours and when she is awake her eyes will be puffy red. They will noticed that their mom doesn't wear her contacts and how different she looks with her glasses on. Their children will struggle for many months when they return to school. They will go to school wondering why all of their classmates are happy while they have this stomach ache and this overwhelming sadness. Gone is their child like innocence that others untouched by tragedy still have. The good news, if there is one, is many of these children will have a delayed grief. It is almost as though a protective sheathing has been placed around them until mom and dad have completed their painful grief process.


If there are teenagers in these families many of these will attempt to delay their grief by being a parent in these homes. Watching their mom and dad deal with their grief they will attempt to put on a macho exterior and pretend that everything is normal. They will take out their grief by playing video games or worst experiment with drugs and alcohol. Some may become addicted to alcohol because it helps deaden the pain they feel.


Some of these families may even reject God because 'why would God allow my child to die in this horrific manner? Some will draw nearer to God and continue to go to church. Church will not be the same for them as it was when their family was healthy and they were dropping their children off at Sunday school. They will sit in the Sanctuary on Sunday being unable to sing certain songs because they were songs about praise and for them they have nothing to praise God about in the midst of tragedy.


These families will need friends who are willing to travel the entire distance of their grief, no matter how long it takes for them to get through the grief. They will need friends who are willing to sit in silence and provide comfort when comfort is needed. The father's touched by tragedy will need good male friends who are willing to listen to him tell and retell the story of their loss, no matter how many times he has heard it. These dad's will need friends to allow them to ventilate the anger they are unable to vent with their wife who is processing her grief differently.


Recovering from grief and trauma will be hard to do without some psychological intervention. Practically of these families will need to be involved in individual therapy and grief groups to help them recover. Their surviving children should be encouraged to participate in children's grief groups the same night mom and dad attend.


For our family it has been 5 1/2 years since Maria died. Our family chose to draw near to God in this time of crisis. In the beginning it was painful going to church and hearing people talk about their vacations and what each of their children are doing while we continued to be in the throes of grief. Simply putting one foot in front of the other we began to enjoy the friends we had before our daughter's death We were comforted with the thought that Maria had beaten all of us to heaven and that one day we would see her again.


The families that were marred by this tragedy must cling to the same hope. It is this hope of seeing their deceased child again one day that will enable them to continue living.

Posted by Todd Gabrielson at 4:33 AM

"Nothing can replace the empty space left by a lost child"

When I first heard about the senseless tragedy coming out of Connecticut where 20 children were shot dead and 7 others, including the shooter's mother who was found dead at home I was beside myself  thinking of all of the families who now must grieve for these lost children.  

Empty beds, endless crying, sleepless nights, an ache that simply will not go away, feelings of loneliness as people around them grapple for words they cannot find to offer solace they may never give are just some of the flood of words that come to my mind.

Gone are the lost dreams of these children: birthday parties, sleepover's at the grandparents, field trips, growth charts, first permit to drive, first dates, prom, college admissions, graduations, weddings, grand children are additional words that flood my mind as I reflect on this senseless tragedy.

Each time I read about or hear about one of these senseless tragedies my mind draws me back to the early morning hours of June 10th, 2007 when the emergency medical technician informed us in the presence of our children's pastor and police chaplain that they did all they could, but Maria could not be revived. It was at that point that like many of these Connecticut parents we collapsed under the weight of our grief wanting to know answers why if we supposedly have a 'good' God would He allow for this to happen?

Only after many months of traveling the road of anger and depression did I finally see that it wasn't God that permitted these things to happen.  No, the hard reality is we live in a fallen world where man chooses to follow an appetite of insatiable greed and idolatry rather than care for the most vulnerable among us. 

There are no winner's in this senseless tragedy.  The shooter had problems of his own with being a  younger son of a broken marriage and the lost child who hadn't spoken to his older brother in two years. There is no justification for anyone to walk into a school and senselessly murder children between the ages of 5 and 10, but had this family made a conscious decision to work on their marriage and build their lives into their children I have a feeling that the tragedy in Connecticut may never had occurred. 

Finally, I was reminded today of the professionalism and dedication of the these teachers at Sandy Hook Elementary school. Many of these teachers put their own lives in harms way to keep their students safe.  They pursued a profession knowing that with their intellect they could have chosen a career that paid 2 or 3 times what they would make as teacher's, but yet they chose to pursue a profession that would help prepare today's young people for tomorrow's jobs.

If you do anything in the coming days please hug your child and tell them how much you love them and then turn to your spouse and in their presence hug your spouse and tell them how much you love them. Our children need to feel secure and as they become independent they need to know that their parents are at the very circle of their existence much like the planets revolving around the sun.  

There are lessons to be learned today. It isn't how big your bank account is, or whether you can afford that summer home up north. No, the lesson we learn today is the importance of providing a secure family for our children where they feel loved every day they walk through the front door of their  home.

If you could see me now

IF YOU COULD SEE ME NOW

When a death in the family occurs it seems that the hardest time for all of us is during the holidays where most of the memories occurred with the one who has died.  The oversize chair in the living room where father use to sit when gift opening took place now is occupied by a different person.  The little girl who died use to occupy the seat closest to the Christmas tree which now sits vacant. The couch that grandma use to sit in no longer is occupied.  Tears of sorrow are commonplace when those we loved are no longer present.

If only we could take a sneak peak on the other side of the great divide that separates this place from heaven.  If only we could get a glimpse of heaven much like little kids watching a big league game through the knot hole in the fence.  Imagine we could and imagine if you could see your loved one celebrating their first Christmas in heaven. You might hear the most glorious Christmas music coming from your loved one who is laughing and having a merry time jumping, running and hopping around in his brand new heavenly body. You might hear church bells ringing and people singing at the top of their lungs. In short, they are having a happy time without any ounce of sorrow.

Knowing this then shouldn't this give us the strength to carry on and celebrate the birth of Jesus here on earth. If knowing our loved one is rejoicing and having fun with other believers shouldn't we put on the happy face and joyously sing songs of praise to our living creator?  They can experience Christ, but we can anticipate seeing him.  If you could see Him now then you will want to celebrate Christmas and you will want to create the memories that will last for a lifetime because one day you also will be on the other side of the great divide enjoying Christmas with the creator of the universe, Jesus Christ.

God is in the remodeling business

Occasionally after dropping my son off at school I would pull into the nearby McDonald's where I would enjoy a fresh cup of coffee and catch up on the morning newspaper before my drive to work. This particular McDonald's holds quite a few memories for me as the place I would take my kids who enjoyed playing in the play land. 

This McDonald's looked different since they remodeled the store several months ago. Gone was the familiarity of the old place.  In it's place was a modern McDonald's that appealed to adults. When I glanced in the play area it to looked different having none of the things I remembered it when my kids use to play in there.

Corporations have a right, of course, to re-brand themselves to appeal to a wider range of people.  They have to in order to continue surviving in this dog eat dog  retail environment.  A fresh image and a remodeled store is what brings people into those stores and it is what drives the profits. As I pondered on this point it occurred to me that God is in the remodeling business. He is the one that takes broken people and gives them a new heart and a new purpose in life.  He is the one who can change a once angry old codger and give him a joyful spirit that draws people to salvation.  People who knew his former self are drawn to the cross when they see his new Christ filled self and the joy that permeates from him. As more people experience the new life that only Christ can give then the greater impact Christ can have on the world around him.

I must say that I like the new look of this McDonald's and it is that new look that brings me back for a simple cup of coffee.  

Paul first Christmas in heaven

The wolf shall dwell with the lamb, and the leopard shall lie down with the young goat, and the calf and the lion and the fattened calf together; and a little child shall lead them.
                                                              

Paul decided to take a break from polishing the piano he was building. He hung his apron on the hook in his workshop and decided to venture outdoors to breath in the clean heavenly air.   As he strolled through the grass he came upon a lion playing with a small child. He watched in wonderment at how playful the lion seemed to be and then realizing he wouldn't ever see this scene in his former life. The last time he remembers seeing a lion was when he took his children to the zoo and the lion was behind a secure fence.He even remembers how there have been tragic deaths at the hands of the lion because parents did not heed the warning not to place their child on the fence for picture taking. But, this was heaven where sin no longer reigns and where he could stroll with the once feared animals with total peace of mind.

Paul often be lying on the ground having a time of reflection while reading one of the great works of the Old or New testaments  when one day this huge head would reach down and lick his face with it's tongue and sitting up he realized it was one of the many wolves that he had seen in this place. The wolf merely wanted to have it's ears scratched and Paul was more than happy to accommodate his request.

Paul waves to the Matty, Joshua, Maria and Suzanne who appeared to be playing hot scotch with a small lamb  just below their favorite climbing tree.  The children wave back before returning to the fun they were having.

Paul continued walking along the cobblestone path lined with beautiful pine trees toward one of many chapels.  He was yearning to listen and perhaps worship himself at the chapel. Since his arrival he has leaned that this is one of the many perks of this place which is the ability to worship at will. Paul loved going to church every Sabbath in his former home and the thought of being able to worship the God of the universe anytime was a great feeling for him.

 Since coming home to heaven Paul had been blessed with a wonderful singing voice which was something he was not as fortunate to have in his former home. He remembers how friends would jokingly refer to him as the shower singer because it was only when he was showering that his voice had any tone. Paul remember one Christmas years ago where a group of singers who were going caroling and friends encouraging him to find something else to do with his time because they were afraid he would draw them off pitch. Entering the equipment room upon his arrival he was blessed to receive a brand new spiritual body which included well oiled vocal cords for praising the Lord. 

Reaching over the peak of the hill he now could see the English Tudor style chapel and as he got closer he could hear the sounds of Christmas emulating from it. Paul was about to experience his first Christmas in heaven and from the sounds he was hearing he was looking forward to the experience.