Lauren Daigle - You Say (Official Music Video)

Romans 15:4-6 New International Version (NIV)
4 For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through the endurance taught in the Scriptures and the encouragement they provide we might have hope.
5 May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you the same attitude of mind toward each other that Christ Jesus had, 6 so that with one mind and one voice you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.

How is it that Mother Theresa can spend her lifetime ministering to the sick and dying in the slums of Calcutta,? Where do some people find the strength to do extraordinary things under great suffering? How is it that people who suffer painful deaths of loved ones are able to bounce back from their adversity to go on and do mighty things?

As many who read these blogs are aware, my wife has been battling cancer that for her is very treatable- we see the finish line off in the horizon; something that others facing this disease do not see. When I married her in 1988, I didn't realize that I was getting a woman who loved Jesus with every fiber of her body who found ways to love people. Our God has been faithful in our lives through the ups and downs of life. Just as Laura Daigle sings in her song, we echoed those same words, "I believe" even when others tell us to stop believing because in their mind, 'God is dead'.

I am here to tell you that God is very much alive and living in those who love Him. God isn't there in the political caucuses, or necessarily in the legislative committees, nor is he necessarily there on the political debate floor, but he is there sitting with you as you listen to the story of those who are suffering, or dying. God is there as you listen to those who recently received the diagnosis they didn't want to hear. He is with you when you are sitting with someone battling traumatic grief after the loss of a loved one to suicide, or from a traumatic car crash killing their loved ones instantaneously. He is with you as you attend a funeral service when you much rather be doing something else much more pleasurable.

On our recent trip to Warren, Minnesota, my wife's home town, we stopped in to order a plant. As my wife was browsing the different plants in the store I noticed a flyer on the wall in honor of two brothers. I asked the young lady about these two boys and she said these were the grandchildren of the owner of the flower shop who were killed in the wintertime when the car their mom was driving lost control, went off the road before veering back onto the freeway directly in the path of an oncoming semi-truck. Their names were Camden and Max. She mom survived the crash as she heard a brief whimper from her boys sitting in the back seat before their voices ceased. I asked her how this mom is doing and she said that it still is painful for her. As she said this, I saw gentle tears streaming down her face. I encouraged her as I briefly told her about my grief. I encourage you to go to the CamdentotheMax facebook page and consider donating for a good cause.https://www.facebook.com/CamdentotheMax-363655904144888/

As I drove away to head back to the nursing home where my mother-in-law lived, I was prompted by the inner workings of the holy spirit in me to turn around and share more of my grief story with her. She gave me the Facebook page they set up to honor these boys through their toy donation program. I presented her with the book I had worked on all these years, 'On Eagles wings, A father's grief from anger to forgiveness after the loss of my daughter'- a book written because I still believe.

So how is it some people can go on and do mighty works of God despite the traumatic things in their lives?  I believe it is because of the inner workings of the holy spirit in their lives because 'they still believe.'

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They say that one of the best ways of learning new information is to teach others the information you've learned. Today, I will share with you some material I've learned in my UNW-St,Paul course on navigating grief with humor

4 Surely He Has Borne Our Griefs And Carried Our Sorrows; Isaiah 53:4

They say that knowledge is power. Understanding the impact of grief on our lives is crucial because throughout our entire lives we will lose loved ones.  To understand the topic of grief, we first must understand what Sigmond Freud says about it. Freud holds that mourning ( grief) and melancholy( depression) are different. Grief is not a disorder but is a natural reaction to loss. 

While grief and depression may look alike there are distinct differences that Freud ( 1917) describes. For example, in depression there is dejection, pulling away from activities, sadness, and isolation. We see these things in grief, but with depression, there is also self-reproach, self-loathing, and the expectation of punishment and low self-esteem. 

Although we can experience depression with the death of a loved one, the pronounced difference between grief and depression is that in grief we know what we have lost, but with depression, we're not sure. The pronounced similarity with grief and depression is this: both involved the absorbing work of sadness and the loss of a loved one.

 In grief, the loved one is another person, but in depression, the lost loved one is the self.

In the 1940's Erich Lindemann, a psychiatrist studied grief, and he developed not only a set of symptoms common to bereavement but also some work one must do to resolved one's grief. Lindermann was thought to be one of the first theorists to state that we didn't have to be passive participants in our grief. He said there is grief that has to be done, and three tasks through which we can do it.

 The first task, according to Lindermann is emancipation from bondage to the deceased. What Lindermann is proposing is that we find a way to let go of the deceased. This first task is a hard one for most people to accept because few of us, if any, want to let go of the memories of our loved ones. 

The second tasks, according to Lindermann(1944) is the readjustment to a new environment of which the deceased is missing. This is a reality that must be faced when we lose someone we've shared a life together. When the person dies, we must accept the reality that there will be no more jokes, their toothbrush that sits on the corner of the bathroom counter will never be used again, nor will there be times of sharing activities together.

Finally, the third task is the formation of new relationships. According to Lindermann, we must complete the first two tasks by letting go of the bond we have with the person who is gone.

Other grief researchers have a different analysis on this subject. According to Klass, Sherman, and Nickman( 1996), ".. it is clear in practical experience that to care, to be involved in more than one relationship at a time is part of the human condition whether the other people in the relationship are present, absent or dead. To insists on a separateness that keeps very clear boundaries between people requires a very mechanistic view of human functioning that fails to appreciate the importance of connection and relationship..." 

 Klass, Sherman, and Nickman nailed it: we cannot expect to shut down our past relationship in order to begin a new one. We aren't machines. Connection and relationship are too important to assume we can simply cut one-off for the sake of beginning a new one. 

To summarize, we do not have to forget the loved one who has died to forge ahead with new relationships- sorrow and the joy of living can coexist. 

I took a chance of stepping out of my comfort zone by sharing my grief story which gave hope to another person at my class reunion.

Romans 5:4 [Full Chapter]When we have learned not to give up, it shows we have stood the test. When we have stood the test, it gives us hope.

Last weekend, I went to my Hopkin's Lindbergh high school reunion for the first time since my 15th. When I went, I went with the intent go hear other students stories.

Midway through those high school years, I found myself hanging out with a smaller group of students who had the joy and peace that I didn't have. One night at a Christian coffee house, at the invite of another Christian young person, I accepted Jesus as my Savior and Lord of my life. This tiny group of students had an amazing influence over this school when young people were drawn to them because they felt accepted. They were the seeds God was using to change the world, one student at a time.

On the second day of this union, I attended a reunion of these students in Belle Plaine, Minnesota. I saw, once again, the joy of the Lord still burning as we sang those older worship songs. Toward the end, we were encouraged to take the microphone and share our faith testimonies. After listening to several people share, I was lead by the holy spirit to share my grief journey of how God walked side by side each of my family members after the tragic loss of our youngest child.

At the very end, a lady came up and said this was what she needed to hear because recently she lost her 17-year-old daughter. Because of my willingness to share my faith story, another person had a chance to find the hope that is only found in Christ. I am glad I stepped out of my comfort zone and attended this reunion where God could use me to share with others that when we are in Christ we are more than just a nobody! 

I encourage you to listen to this music video and follow the lyrics below from his song.

[Verse 1: Mark Hall]

Why You ever chose me

Has always been a mystery

All my life, I've been told I belong

At the end of a line

With all the other Not-Quites

With all the Never-Get-It-Rights

But it turns out they are the ones You were looking for

All this time

[Chorus: Mark Hall & Matthew West]

'Cause I'm just a nobody trying to tell everybody

All about Somebody who saved my soul

Ever since You rescued me, You gave my heart a song to sing

I'm living for the world to see nobody but Jesus

I'm living for the world to see nobody but Jesus

[Verse 2: Matthew West]

Moses had stage fright

And David brought a rock to a sword fight

You picked twelve outsiders nobody would've chosen

And You changed the world

Well, the moral of the story is

Everybody's got a purpose

So when I hear that devil start talking to me, saying

"Who do you think you are?" I say

[Chorus: Mark Hall & Matthew West]

I'm just a nobody trying to tell everybody

All about Somebody who saved my soul

Ever since You rescued me, You gave my heart a song to sing

I'm living for the world to see nobody but Jesus

I'm living for the world to see nobody but Jesus

[Bridge: [Megan Garrett?] & Mark Hall]

So let me go down, down, down in history

As another blood-bought faithful member of the family

And if they all forget my name, well, that's fine with me

I'm living for the world to see nobody but Jesus

So let me go down, down, down in history (Go down in history)

As another blood-bought faithful member of the family (It's all I ever wanna be)

And if they all forget my name, well, that's fine with me

I'm living for the world to see nobody but Jesus, yeah!

[Chorus: Mark Hall & Matthew West]

I'm just a nobody (Nobody)

Trying to tell everybody

All about Somebody

Who saved my soul (Oh, saved my, saved my soul)

Ever since You rescued me

You gave my heart a song to sing (You gave me a song to sing)

I'm living for the world to see

Nobody but Jesus (Nobody but You, Lord)

I'm living for the world to see nobody but Jesus

[Outro: Mark Hall & Matthew West]

I'm living for the world to see nobody but Jesus

My God, My God Why have you forsaken me? Some thoughts.

Life isn't always going to go the way you think it should go. We make plans and set goals and strive to achieve those outcomes, but the reality is that God determines the direction.

We pray for blessings, we pray for peace

Comfort for family, protection while we sleep

We pray for healing, for prosperity

Those of us who live in the most prosperous places in the world know those common prayers, for healing, for prosperity and protection while we sleep. We are not able to fathom that remote concept of what if bad things happen to us.  When I was in Guatemala on a missions trip several years ago, I discovered in a conversation with native Guatemalan's that most parents fully expect to outlive some of their children which is in contrast to America where we expect God to keep suffering at bay. 

We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering

All the while You hear each spoken need

Yet love is way too much to give us lesser things

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops

What if Your healing comes through tears?

What if a thousand sleepless nights

Are what it takes to know You're near?

It is when tragedy strikes the very core of our being and we travel the lonely road of grief that we see the reality of those lyrics above. Is it possible for our blessings to come through raindrops, our healing come through tears, a thousand sleepless nights is what it takes to know You're near? It is true that pain and suffering actually draw us closer to our Lord.

What if trials of this life

Are Your mercies in disguise?

We pray for wisdom, Your voice to hear

As a young man, I remember my discipleship leader going around and asking each of us how we were doing, and one by one each of us responded to that question. Almost without exception, one or two piped up that things were going great which someone would say half-jokingly that we should pray for trials for them. We have this idea in America that as a Christian if I do X, Y  and Z that I will live a very prosperous life, void of all suffering and pain.

We cry in anger when we cannot feel You near

We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love

As if every promise from Your Word is not enough

And all the while You hear each desperate plea

So many of us avoid expressing anger at God, not knowing that our God is bigger than our anger. He appreciates it when we express our emotions to him. He wants us to communicate with him just as your son and daughter communicate with you. As pain and suffering enter our lives, we discover a deeper relationship with our God.

And long that we'd have faith to believe

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops

What if Your healing comes through tears?

And what if a thousand sleepless nights

Are what it takes to know You're near?

And what if trials of this life

Are Your mercies in disguise?

Most people have no idea of the reality of the above lyric- that blessings can come through raindrops. through tears, through a thousand sleepless nights, through the trials of life. Some people run away from God while believing that if God is so good, then why do bad things happen?

When friends betray us when darkness seems to win

We know that pain reminds this heart

That this is not, this is not our home

It's not our home

When Jesus Christ hung on the cross to die, he felt betrayal from his Father in heaven when he screamed those words, "My God, My God why have you betrayed me!? Betrayal and darkness is everywhere, it seems. From our political representatives who we thought held the secrets to make our lives better to our earthly fathers who decided to abandoned us.

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops

What if Your healing comes through tears

And what if a thousand sleepless nights

Are what it takes to know You're near 

What if my greatest disappointments

Or the aching of this life

Is the revealing of a greater thirst

This world can't satisfy 

And what if trials of this life 

The rain, the storms, the hardest nights 

Are Your mercies in disguise

Many of us would rather spend thousands of dollars to hear a motivational speaker tickle our ears with things that make us feel good for that moment than to trust the God in heaven through the words of the ancient text that have been proven over time. In the book of Joshua are these words '5 And if it seems evil to you to serve the Lord, choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of [a]the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”

The way of true racial conciliation is through conversations and getting to know people as God sees them

3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ, 4 just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love, 5 having predestined us to adoption as sons by Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the good pleasure of His will, 6 to the praise of the glory of His grace, by which He [a]made us accepted in the Beloved.

 It appears that God extends more grace toward us than we do toward other people. How quick we are to shed certain relationships from our lives when others do not live up to our standards, or the moment they hurt us with the slightest insult or verbal injury, or in some cases when we've been physically injured at the hands of someone. 

Since our loss in 2007, I have read numerous faith stories of people experiencing inner peace not long after forgiving those who hurt them. John 3:16 is a verse that comes to mind-'God so loved the world that He gave his only begotten son that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have everlasting life.'  

If we could see the world through God's eyes, we would see suffering and hurting people crying out for someone to save them from the ravishes of life. If we could see the world through God's eyes, we would see people of all ethnicities searching for the one true source for their physical, emotional and spiritual suffering. 

Yet, it is easy to forget this thought when we find ways to congregate only with those who are 'like us'. For example, as I was walking out of the Coon Rapids Lowes I noticed a darker skin couple struggling with loading their recent large purchase into their Menards rental truck. I went over to them offering to help steady the large box so he could get it into place on the back of their truck.  I'm sure his smaller wife was very much appreciative of my assistance. Once we were able to get the item into place I introduced myself, looked him in the eye and shook his hand. He thanked me for my assistance. I realized not long after how much God loved this couple and even though their skin tone was different, they were like me.

  They say that the most segregated part of the week is our Sunday services because of the tendency to only worship with those who are like us.  The moment we experience more people of color or ethnicities coming into our congregation many begin feeling this uncomfortableness that causes some to find a church elsewhere where people are like them.  

In her later years, Corrie Ten Boon had an encounter with a reformed Nazi concentration camp guard, a man who was notorious in his punishment at the concentration camp she was at, a man who accepted Jesus Christ into his heart and was excited about his new found faith that he wanted to seek forgiveness from those he had hurt.  At first, Corrie was unable to forgive this man because of what he did to his sister, Betsy, but when he saw that Jesus forgave all of her sin's that she should forgive that man's sin's as well.' For God so loved the world that he gave His only begotten son is a powerful reminder of how we should view people of all ethnicities. It is also a reminder that the way toward racial reconciliation is through getting to know others, not like us, one conversation at a time. When we do, we will see that they are just like us!

In 1991, Eric Clapton's 4 year old son fell to his tragic death from on top of a high rise apartment. Out of his own incredible pain came a song that spoke from the heart of anyone who has ever lost a child.

8 For I tell you that Christ became a servant to the circumcised to show God's truthfulness, in order to confirm the promises given to the patriarchs, 9 and in order that the Gentiles might glorify God for his mercy. As it is written,“Therefore I will praise you among the Gentiles,and sing to your name.”  Romans 15:8-9

The year was  March 20, 1991. The news sent shock waves across America as we learned about his 4-year-old son falling tragically to his death from the top floor of a friend's apartment. Somehow the boy found a crack in the window causing this tragedy to occur.

 Eric Clapton arrived home shortly after the tragedy occurred and for many months he was visibly shaken by this loss. 

In 1991, neither of our kids were born; yet, I felt the incredible emotions of his song, line after line. Yet, it wasn't until my own tragic loss in 2007 that I truly understood what this pain was like.

As you read these lyrics you may feel the emotions behind the words of this song. Anyone who has ever suffered the painful loss of a child will vouch for the intensity of those words. 

Emotions run deep after the loss of a child, and for some, surviving this grief means turning to one's musical gifts. As in Eric Clapton's case, he wrote a beautiful song that became an instant blockbuster. 

There is hope to all who are grieving the loss of a child. This same Jesus who came to their child's side to carry him home is the same Jesus who walks beside those caught in the trap of those emotions.

If you are that person experiencing heartbreak from such a loss, just know that Jesus loves you and because of his death and resurrection clearly understands your pain.  How we wish we could unravel all of the emotional pain this grief causes, but the most we can hope to see is a little sliver of heaven to remind us that our loved one is okay and safely in the arms of Jesus.

[Verse 1]

Would you know my name

If I saw you in heaven?

Would it be the same

If I saw you in heaven? 

I must be strong and carry on 

‘Cause I know I don't belong here in heaven 

[Verse 2]

Would you hold my hand

If I saw you in heaven?

Would you help me stand

If I saw you in heaven?

I'll find my way through night and day

‘Cause I know I just can't stay here in heaven 

[Bridge]Time can bring you down, time can bend your knees

Time can break your heart, have you begging please, begging, please

Beyond the door, there's peace I'm sure

And I know there'll be no more tears in heaven 

[Verse 3]Would you know my name

If I saw you in heaven?

Would you feel the same

If I saw you in heaven?

I must be strong and carry on

Because I know I don't belong here in heaven