Even when we are in the throes of grief life is still worth living

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7

Grief, it seems, can drag on for a very long time. Like walking through a desert we become tired, hungry and thirsty. Our feet soon become painfully aware of the the endless walking with no end in sight.  Every direction we look is endless nothingness. We want to just lie down and simply give up because the physical and the emotional pain becomes unbearable.

 But something within tells us to keep going. So we walk one footprint at a time. Soon we are dragging our feet across the scorched earth one long foot print at a time. Our soul cries out to the God of Abraham to end our suffering. We ask God why he has outdone himself and given us too much to bear? We continue our journey after seeing an oasis where we see and drink water. As the life giving water slips down our parched and thirsty throat we thank the Father of Abraham for providing this much needed liquid.

 Once we gain strength to continue our journey we trudge on to what we hope will be the end goal of our grief. Oh how we want this to be an end.  An end where we can feel at least half way normal like we were before our grief began. 

We cry out to the God of Joseph to help us finish this journey. We cry out with emotional pangs asking God  why we had to be placed on this painful journey? If only you God would have done your part and kept my loved one alive I wouldn't have to leave the amusement park of life and trudge on this God forsaken barren waste land of needless grief. Then you recall verses you have read in the Holy scriptures. 

" I will never leave you, nor forsake you" " 

I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength' 

 Those words keep running like a endless tape in your mind. You gain strength to continue and as these verses keep running in your mind your strides in the sand become swifter. Your posture becomes more upright. As you walk taller you can begin to see off in the horizon a beautiful landscape. You see beauty, trees, more water, and friends you haven't seen since your journey began. You pick up speed and now you are jogging because of the beauty you see.  

As you get nearer you hear many songs of encouragement, and many words of wisdom. You feel the gentle hand on your shoulder. You turn your head where you see Jesus.  He is now walking with you and encouraging you to finish the journey. He tells you how he has great plans to use the pain in your life to help others. The sadness you once showed on your face begins to curve upward into a smile.

 As you walk with Jesus you are reminded of His words in the New testament.  He reminds that he is the God of Abraham, Isaac, Joseph and just as he helped them he was going to help you reach your goal of completing this grief. 

As you reach the end of your grief you see a throng of many witnesses trying to congratulate you on finishing the journey.  You hear many voices telling you how much they prayed for you that God would sustain you on the path you were just on. You have now finished the journey and now you soak up the attention and the love of these people. 

Once your strength returns you turn to look in the distance where you see another person walking painfully the path you were once on. You instantly bow your head and pray for God's deliverance for this person. As you pray you are reminded that even in the throes of grief life is still worth living.

True Christianity isn't about being blessed, but it is sharing the pain of others

Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. Galatians 6:2

The past couple of days have been gut wrenching to say the least with the shooting down of the  Malaysian commercial airliner. They believe it was a surface to air missile that sent 300 people to their deaths. Many of these people were Dutch citizens along with 1 United States citizen as well as passengers from other parts of the world. President Obama referred to it as a international tragedy

This tragedy particularly  hits home because we have relatives who have dual Dutch/US citizenship. In response to my post she thanked me for my condolences, but confided how hard it is to see hate in the world. Her comments underscores the importance of walking with those who grieve.

There are many on the prosperity side of the Christian church who espouse the idea that when you have been blessed with material wealth such as a nice home, good jobs, healthy kids that it is because God has blessed you. By that same token when you bad things happen such as a sudden loss of a loved one it is because you did something to cause God to remove his blessing. I am afraid that many Christian's are pointing to the Malaysian culture and wondering if God had withdrawn his blessings from these people

. I know this was the feeling I had the night our daughter died. I remember crying out to God and asking him 'why' this had to happen. Was it something I didn't do in my walk with Him that caused him to turn his back on us?"

Then the words of John Newton, the man who worked on the English slave ship came to mind.

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound

that saved a wretch like me

I once was lost but now am found

was blind but now I see.

T'was Grace that taught my heart to fear.

And Grace, my fears relieved.

How precious did that Grace appear

The hour I first believed.

From a man who suffered greatly because he saw the ill treatment of the slaves and the horrid conditions they were kept came a song written out of his suffering. Sadly, many in our culture believe that when we are in God's grasp we are immune from horrible things. I am reminded that is not the case through the teaching of Jesus when he says in John 16:33,"These things I have spoken to you, so that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world.”

Through many dangers, toils and snares

I have already come;

'Tis Grace that brought me safe thus far

and Grace will lead me home.

The Lord has promised good to me.

His word my hope secures.

He will be my shield and portion be,

As long as life endures.

To be a Christian doesn't mean we are immune from the ills of the world. Quite the opposite. What it means is we have a God who wants us to pour our hearts out to him in our times of suffering much like we want our own children to come to us in their time of need. He wants to be a loving father like we are to our children.

Yea, when this flesh and heart shall fail,

And mortal life shall cease,

I shall possess within the veil,

A life of joy and peace.

Yes, when this flesh and heart shall fail,

And mortal life shall cease;

I shall profess, within the vail,

A life of joy and peace.

To be a Christian means we do not run from suffering as though it is 'bad luck' to sit with someone who is suffering. It means we come along side them even when we feel incapable of meeting their needs. It means we sit with them even when some of that messiness spills on us. It means we rely on the Holy Spirit within us to minister to our friend who is grieving without casting judgement on them.

The survivors of the two Malaysian airline tragedies need our prayers, our support, and they need us to walk with them as they navigate this horrid tragedy and to remind them that God's grace will be sufficient to get through this dark patch of this life. They need us to listen as they tell us their story of suffering over and over again, as long as it takes for them to get through it. They need us to be faithful as long as it takes for healing to take place.

Yes, it is a privilege to walk with those who grieve. Life isn't about being blessed with the good things of life, nor is it about how much status, how much wealth we can accumulate, but it is being used by God to help those who suffer.

and then they scatterd

Then Jesus told them, "This very night you will all fall away on account of me, for it is written: "'I will strike the shepherd, and the sheep of the flock will be scattered.' Matthew 26:31

One moment they were enjoying a nice meal with the Man who for many months taught them things about God. One moment they were enjoying the friendship with each other. Fishing trips on the sea of Galilee became teaching moments. When the sea was suddenly overcome with huge waves threatening to swamp their boat and cost them their lives, they were utterly amazed when they saw this man Jesus walking toward them on top of the water. When he calmed the sea before their very eyes thoughts occurred to them that this man even has power to calm the storm in their lives.

Each of the 11 disciples were taking aback as they saw one of their own kiss Jesus cheek and point him out as the one the soldiers were looking for. In a fit of rage one of them tried to prevent the hostile capture of the one they regarded as their friend by cutting off the ear of the servant of the high priest. His efforts were defeated with Jesus reattaching the ear with his healing touch. Jesus could see the bigger picture, but the 12 could not. The servant of the High priest began to see that this Jesus was the son of God when he saw a miracle on himself.

When Judas saw that he had betrayed Jesus he was suddenly overcome with such remorse that he ran to the Chief Priests and tried to 'undo' the damage he had caused. In his mind he realized that the silver coins he received as payment wasn't worth betraying the man who had invested his life into him by teaching him the things that were important to God.

And when the Chief Priests laughed at him he threw the silver coins into the middle of the court yard and ran with voices in his head ringing with 'Why' and 'What if' questions. Questions that were impossible to answer because Judas could not see the bigger picture.

Peter, the man who insisted that he would never deny Jesus, ran with his own set of 'Why' questions. "Why God, would you provide the means for 12 men who became close friends before ripping their friendship apart by taking this Jesus away from them?" "I was learning so much about God through this Jesus and you had to take him away from our midst!" Each time someone pointed him out Peter cringed because he was afraid.. After Peter denied Jesus a third time he heard a cock crow and at that moment he was filled with self loathing when he realized that Jesus was right. He was overcome with such strong emotions believing that he had failed Jesus. If only he had done things different this wouldn't have happened. Even Peter couldn't see the bigger picture.

When Mary and Martha heard what had happened to the one who brought their brother Lazarus back to life they cried by collapsing to the floor with heaves of heavy sobs that quickly wet their clothing. They began to asked God why. "Why did this have to happen God?" He was a good friend to us. He was teaching us the things only you knew and you took him from us!" Martha was tormented with her own set of 'what if' questions when she was reminded by Jesus's words to her " "Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things, [42] but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her." She was suddenly overcome with grief as she thought 'what if' I had done what her sister had done and allowed herself to enjoy the moment with the Savior. Even Mary and Martha were unable to see the bigger picture only God could see.

And then they began to see the bigger picture. The first person Jesus appeared after he returned to life was Mary Magalene, the woman who was healed from the 7 demons. Mary quickly went out and reported to those who were with him while they were mourning and weeping. When they heard that he was alive they refused to believe it. And then Jesus appeared in a different form to two of them while they were walking along a road out into the country. They went away and reported it to the other, but they did not believe it.

Afterwards Jesus appeared to the 11 themselves and as they were reclining at the table Jesus reproached them for their unbelief and hardness of heart, because they had not believed those who had seen Him after He had risen. After Jesus had spoken to them about preaching the good news Jesus was received up into heaven.

Although we may be grieving heavily and be entertained by the never ending 'Why' and 'What if' questions  what we do not see is how Jesus is helping you see the bigger picture by walking with you and revealing in small amounts of time his love for you. Keep putting one foot in front of the other by honoring God on the Sabbath and keep telling your story to those you can trust and one day the fogginess of your sight will be lifted and you will once again smile and laugh at a friends joke and see the bigger picture that God sees in your life. Your grief is as unique as a snow flake. There is no timetable for grief. Recovery will happen as we lean into our grief and trust Jesus to guide us through it.

The Miracle League MN - Spring Training

As a father  and as a professional who understands the importance of helping people with disabilities to access recreational programs I wanted to highlight in this blog one such program.The Miracle league Minnesota which is run by a fellow Hopkins Lindbergh class of 1974 alumnus, Kevin Thorsen  runs a Minnesota based company that installs these barrier free fields in communities around Minnesota. The work of this company has  made it possible for children with disabilities to enjoy the game of baseball.

I would encourage everyone to see this Miracle field at the All star fan fest taking place today and tomorrow at the Minneapolis convention center. For the child with a physical impairment to be able to play the game of baseball without tripping on the grass of a regular field and being humiliated at the same time is something that warms the hearts of every parent of s child with special needs.

Professional baseball is truly America's pass time because it is a game that can be enjoyed by all generations. The game is slow enough for people to understand  what is going on and it is a game where people of multiple generations can watch from the same room without one member losing their train of focus.

Often in the course of grieving the loss of someone special we are given a vision to honor the life of that loved one.  If Miracle field Mn can be used as an example I encourage everyone who might be grieving the loss of a loved one to ask yourself this question:" How can I honor the memory of my son, daughter, parent, or other family member"?  I encourage you to pray and ask God to reveal His plan to you and then sit back and watch God's plan unfold. It is another example of how God makes all things new again. Revelation 21:5

This is a refugee problem, not a immigration problem

…26If anyone thinks himself to be religious, and yet does not bridle his tongue but deceives his own heart, this man's religion is worthless. 27Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world.

James 1:27-26

These past couple of weeks I have been filled with sorrow watching the videos of thousands of children trying to get into the United States from the violent drug cartel countries of Central America. What is really heartbreaking to me was seeing this large warehouse in Arizona where many of these kids are being housed until the Immigration department decides what to do with them.  The children coming to us  are coming because they have no choice. They want to be loved just like our American children.

What is even more heartbreaking are the anti-immigration propaganda from the far right wing websites that is causing our American hearts to grow cold and callous.  Have we forgotten as Christians that God calls us to care for the orphans and those who cannot defend themselves?   America, it seems, would rather throw money at these corrupt, drug infected countries without ever knowing how the money is being spent. Wake up. The money is not going to where it is suppose to go. The children at our doorsteps are proof of that.

In one news report the camera panned the entire the warehouse showing children sleeping under plastic. They claimed they couldn't find blankets for these kids!  Really?The camera zoomed in one child who I swear looked like she was crying. My heart broke at that point because I knew that what most of these kids want nothing more than to be held and loved by parents. Many of these kids risked life and limb ( many didn't survive the journey) to at least have the opportunity to experience life in American like our own children.

Several years ago Unicef, the branch of  the United Nations began a propaganda effort to shut down international adoptions and in the last 8 years adoption of Central American children had become non existent. American families who had completed their home studies were now being told they could not complete their adoptions. As I look at the disparate pleas on the faces of these children coming over the border my mind drifts back to this ill fated effort done by UNICEF. that is partly responsible for the crisis with thousands of children sleeping alone in a large Arizona warehouse and guarded by people who's hearts have been hardened by right wing anti-immigration websites.

If I had my way I would like attention turned to some of our American adoption agencies like WACAP, international, Holt international, and 100's more because I think these organizations could  help the immigration department by finding forever American families for all of these kids coming a cross the border.  We do not need the United states policy makers deciding that these kids do not qualify for immigration status and send them back home to their drug war lead governments where their chance for survival declines exponentially with each passing day.

If we are truly a Christian nation we need to listen to the voice of the Lord telling us to take care the orphan children. We are at a defining moment. This may be God testing this nation. What will we do with these children? Will we find away to find forever families through adoption or will we will turn a blind eye, tell them they are not welcomed and send them home to an almost certain death?  

This week we bid farewell to our Pastor of 24 years and we helped a family bid farewell to parents who went home to be with the Lord within a week of each other

2 When I came to you, my friends, to preach God's secret truth,[a] I did not use big words and great learning. 2 For while I was with you, I made up my mind to forget everything except Jesus Christ and especially his death on the cross. 3 So when I came to you, I was weak and trembled all over with fear, 4 and my teaching and message were not delivered with skillful words of human wisdom, but with convincing proof of the power of God's Spirit. 5 Your faith, then, does not rest on human wisdom but on God's power.

1 Corinthians 2

It was with sadness we wished our beloved Pastor Steve who faithfully served as our Senior Pastor for 24 years farewell and it was with sadness we helped a family grieve the loss of their parents who died within a week of each other.

In both cases we felt tremendous joy as we saw how our Lord will use Pastor Steve in his next phase of his life and it was with joy when we saw how much this older couple loved the Lord with all their hearts and demonstrated that love in action as faithful parents. We just knew that they were at this moment not simply 'deceased', but alive walking in the vary presence of our Lord.

Sadness and joy. At first glance it seems odd that those words should be used together in the same sentence. From an earthly viewpoint it seems impossible that you could be filled with sadness and happiness at the same time. But, that is precisely how God intended it to work.

As believer's of the Gospel of Jesus Christ we are given the hope that when life comes to a screeching halt that we would experience the most glorious smorgasbord of sights, sounds, singing and lots of joy in the presence of our Lord and Creator Jesus Christ in this place we know as heaven. We are filled with grief, but in the pages of the of the gospel we see overwhelming evidence that life goes on when we die.

If there is a theme to this blog it is that my God has been faithful. He has been faithful to our family over the course of our grief journey. He has been faithful as he guided our beloved Pastor Steve as he lead our church through good times and not so good times. He has been faithful in the life of this older couple who loved God with all their heart and with all their soul. He continues to be faithful in the lives of many of our friends who were there that evening helping Mark and Rose say goodbye to their parents.

Grief and Joy. Two words that seemingly do not go together, but they do. Life is about trusting that God will help you make the right decisions each day of your life. It is about trusting the good shepherd as he guides you through the mine field of life. It is about trusting God that He will guide your children as they pursue their life's course.It is faithfully walking with God and honoring him each Sabbath day. It is about being the fragrance that draws others to the savior.

Our God is faithful and He loves it when we are faithful to Him in all that we do in this life. Paul reminds us in the verse above that 'our faith does not rest on human wisdom, but on God's power'. Our job is to trust that He will help us make the right decisions each day of our life.

In the end of your life while others are grieving your loss you will be standing in heaven as Jesus Christ turns to you and utters those words, " Welcome home my good and faithful servant. Now that will be pure joy!