Two ships passing in the night....

13 I can do all things through Christ[a] who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13

It was a beautiful evening down by the university that sat on the shores of Lake Superior. A slight gentle breeze was blowing waves of refreshing coolness on the faces of the newly minted graduating seniors. 

Sitting on the water were the tall ships they spent years crafting through hard work and study.  Tall masts with academic banners blowing gently in the wind as they wait for their newly minted captains to take the helm. 

Off in the horizon, I could see other ships heading in. They appeared like specks with a little light beam shattering the darkness of the sea. Once the blare of the horn sounded, these young captains ran to the ramp to climb aboard. They were giddy with light laughter as they foresaw the beginning of their life's journey, a journey yet uncharted to paradise yonder. 

The young captains signaled for the ships horn to be blown, as though they were signaling to the world that things are in good hands with these newly minted graduates. Anchors were pulled on the deck while the engines were slowly pushing the ship through the water, but then propelling the ship at a faster clip.

 As these glistening ships sped ahead, they began to take a closer look at the other ships now returning to shore.  Unlike the new ships, these other ships were worn and tattered waiting to be retired for good.  Through the binoculars, these young men could see that the bow of the other ships looked as though they have seen life's tragedies a little too often with deep dents in their bow.  The crew of those ships looked worn and tired. The other ships flags were tattered with long threads that were pulling apart. While the newer ships passed by, they wave a friendly hello to the ships returning home, as though they were thanking them for their service.

Alas, life is like those ships. As parents, we launch our children once they are prepared to take on life's responsibilities.  If we do our jobs right, our children will enter the world with confidence and intellect to tackle the world's problems.  

Just as our children watched us from afar performing life's work, we now can cast our admiring glances and watch our children become the men and woman God intended them to be!

The health benefits of forgiveness and why we need to forgive

21 Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”
22 Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times. Matthew 18:21-22

At some point in one's life, you have to embrace your pain and begin transitioning toward forgiveness.  Life isn't perfect, I've learned because occasionally the unthinkable happens that takes away our loved ones. When I was in Now Then, Minnesota paying my respects to my daughter, I heard over the radio not long afterward about a grandmother in that same general area accidentally running over her infant.On any given day, tragedy can happen and when it does we will be thrown into a whirlwind of emotions, unlike anything you have experienced. 

When we a hit that proverbial fork in the road we have one of two options to take. One will lead us down a slippery slope filled with anger, hatred, resentment and an increasing amount of cortisol in our system, a chemical that will subject us to an increased risk of cancer and other chronic health conditions. The other road we can take is one where we give all of our anger, hatred, and resentment to God and asking Him to help us forgive those who we believe caused undue harm toward our loved one. The world teaches us that money will cure all of our ills in life, that once we get that monetary payment in the mail for emotional pain and suffering that our lives will be normal again. 

But it isn't true. While you may feel richer, your pain will linger on unless you begin processing each emotion, one at a time for however long it takes. You owe it to your loved ones and to yourself to begin processing this pain. Your body will thank you for taking care of it. In fact, 1 Corinthians 6:19 states this about the body: Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own;

We owe it to ourselves to work through the emotions of our loss, one emotion at a time.  As you do this, you, like this woman in the video may feel the weight lifted off your shoulders and a much healthier lifestyle.

America will always thrive when people see a need and start a business.

Rosenblum: Grocery store on wheels delivers to Twin Cities 'food deserts'

Twin Cities Mobile Market, a retrofitted Metro Transit bus loaded with food, expanded in May.

MAY 26, 2017 — 3:34PM

ELIZABETH FLORES, STAR TRIBUNE

Mobile Market driver/cashier Keshawn Williams stocked fruit on the bus.

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GAIL ROSENBLUM@GROSENBLUM

It’s the rare and lucky shopper who gets a warm welcome simply for entering a grocery store. But when you’re shopping at a Twin Cities Mobile Market and Abdifatah Nur is on board, get ready to feel the love.

“You just have to know how to say, ‘Welcome!’ or ‘Thank you,’ ” said the gregarious Nur, a Mobile Market staffer who offers those greetings in seven languages, from Spanish to Arabic to Korean.

“That small thing goes a long way,” he said.

Speaking of small things that go a long way, I’m happy to report the Twin Cities Mobile Market, a retrofitted Metro Transit bus loaded with grocery goodness, expanded in May from one bus to two, and from St. Paul to Minneapolis.

The second bus, chock full of affordable and fresh fruits and vegetables, milk, meat, cheese, bread and more, includes stops in north Minneapolis and Cedar-Riverside — two areas designated as “food deserts” by the U.S. Department of Agriculture. If you’ve never lived in a food desert, and especially if you’ve never heard the term, consider yourself lucky.

The designation means that residents must travel more than a mile to get to a supermarket. Doesn’t sound like much? It is if you’re a senior who no longer drives, or a person with a disability, or someone on a limited income for whom weekly trips to shop by bus or cab add up fast.

Minnesota, sadly and surprisingly, is a leader in food deserts.

In 2016, Wilder Research and the Federal Reserve Bank of Minneapolis reported that our state ranks seventh worst in the country for our share of residents — more than a third of the population — with no grocery store near their homes. Only about 20 percent of Minnesotans get the recommended number of fruits and vegetables daily.

The mobile grocer program was launched in 2014 by the Amherst H. Wilder Foundation as a way to fill the gap between food shelves and full-service supermarkets, spokesman Andy Brown said.

The original bus makes 17 stops Tuesdays through Saturdays year-round in St. Paul. The second bus makes 15 stops in St. Paul and Minneapolis, at low-income housing sites, day care centers, churches and community centers.

Supervalu is the food supplier, with financial support provided by Supervalu Foundation. (If you’d like to contribute, Hormel Natural Choice will match any gift to the Mobile Market dollar for dollar up to $25,000 until June 30. Go to twincitiesmobilemarket.org)

Residents are alerted to the bus’ arrival by posters, fliers and resident council meetings. But word of mouth is the best publicity.

Myong Kang stepped onto a bus at the Cedar High Apartments in Minneapolis to buy a big bag of ripe red tomatoes. “It’s nice to come,” said Kang, who works nearby. “I don’t have to go to the grocery.”

Davin Ward works at nearby Augsburg College and lives in north Minneapolis, where healthy food options are few. “It’s good-quality, nutritious food,” he said. “And it’s reasonably priced, unlike my corner market.”

“This is so neat!” said another customer, walking down the narrow aisle past deli meats (a bestseller), several types of beans, flour, sugar, kiwi, bananas, avocados, mushrooms, cucumbers, huge yellow and red onions, even frozen chicken wings.

“This is awesome!” said another.

If a customer is unable to get on the bus due to physical restrictions, staff members are happy to shop for him or her, which is what Nur was doing on a recent stop. As he studied a grocery list and filled up a bag, his customer, seated in a wheelchair, waited patiently on the sidewalk.

“You never know how many people just can’t get to the grocery store,” said the bus’ driver, Keshawn Williams, who also works the register, where customers can pay with cash or credit card or through the electronic benefit transfer (EBT) or Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP) programs.

“This is one of those very fulfilling jobs,” she said. “The customers love it, and it’s so innovative.”

Mobile Market director Leah Porter confirms that. In a recent survey of 400 customers, fully 89 percent said they buy more fruits and vegetables thanks to the bus, and 84 percent prepare healthier snacks at home.

Food is regularly restocked for freshness, she said. “Marginal” items go into the half-price bin, are donated or become compost.

But the mobile market feeds another need. More than 80 percent of respondents said they feel more connected to their neighborhood by shopping on the bus, Porter noted. An equal percentage say they have met people from their neighborhood as they surveyed the papayas and potatoes.

“It’s a way to bring people out,” she said. “This bus is needed.” 

This is the day the Lord has made and I will rejoice and be glad in it!

1 Corinthians 6:20

For you have been bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body.

It makes me sad when I look around me and see people 'dissing' our Lord's name. When they use phrases like 'holy......t', or  ' ...... damn',  or make a defamatory reference that someone they have a serious grudge against should rot in hell. It bothers me because it is disrespectful.  

The way I was raised, I was taught to always give thanks to my Lord because of what He has done for me. I was taught that my responsibility in this life is to rise on the Sabbath and worship our Lord in the assembly of others, regardless how I was feeling. 

 Each of the major religions of the world, Judaism, Muslim and Christianity has a Sabbath day.  Each of them pays tribute to God. Our Muslim people refer to God adoringly as Allah.  Christians pay tribute to the risen Savior Jesus Christ. Christians bury their dead pointing them toward the east, the direction of Christ returning. When Muslim's pray they pray toward the east, in the direction of Mecca. In all these religions, respect and honor are given. I'm not afraid of the Muslim people because I was taught to pray for them. I know that many of the Muslim people are coming to Christ through dreams. The same goes for my Jewish friends.

 Feelings, I've learned, change moment by moment, second by second and simply cannot be trusted in guiding me in my daily decisions. What this means is I will worship even when I'm feeling sad, while in mourning, or simply because I am afflicted with selfish motives.  I go to Church because it is the right thing to do. In preparation for my worship experience, I will listen to praise songs on the radio along with some good Bible teaching. I want my mind to be filled with happy thoughts, not with the gloom and doom I see on the news each day.  

Since I was a young boy, the news media as always accentuated the bad sensationalized news over the good because it sells prescriptions. I've learned that the Bible I carry to church or read from the Pew is God's manual for living a life with purpose and hope.  Even in the face of the most tragic loss, God is there for you.  He is walking side by side, sometimes carrying you through life's toughest spots.

My challenge to you is this:  start discarding all of the ways you might be 'dissing' our Lord's name.  If you hear someone doing so, try to find ways to gently remind them that you do not appreciate them talking about God in that way. My speculation is if we did this and then honor our Lord through the process of public worship at a church near you that you may sense a greater presence of the Lord.

God desires are for all of us to clean up our language by leaving the 'dissing' out and honor him with words of praise.  If all of us did this, I think we will love the changes we see.

As I walked around Lakeview cemetery seeing the graves of children, I was reminded there are dads who wished they could have fix this and kept their child alive.

Surely he took up our pain
and bore our suffering,
yet we considered him punished by God,
stricken by him, and afflicted.
5 But he was pierced for our transgressions,
he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was on him,
and by his wounds, we are healed.
6 We all, like sheep, have gone astray,
each of us has turned to our own way;
and the Lord has laid on him
the iniquity of us all. Isaiah 53:4-6

As I walked around the Lakeview Cemetery glancing at the gravestones of children, I pictured grieving mom's and dad's and the child's brothers and sisters grieving at a  different level from their parents. Many of the markers had their child's small toys sitting there as a reminder of their life. I pictured their dad's commiserating of 'what could I have done differently that I didn't do to keep my child alive. 

Men are the 'fixers' of the family. They are the ones that fix the flat on their child's bike, build that tree fort, take the fish off of their child's hook and just about anything else that brings a smile to their face. Popular television shows like the fixer-upper, this old house, and all of those youtube videos that teach us everything about do it yourself projects, for the most part, featured men teaching others how to fix things.

This is the hardest part of the grieving process for me. I wanted so much to keep my daughter alive, but couldn't.  I prided myself with asking all of the right questions in the doctor's office before we agreed to the surgery.  The skepticism I had for the medical system gave me, what I thought, a 6th sense that would for sure be used to set up the steps that would keep her alive.

At this same cemetery in NowThen, Minnesota was the fresh grave of Isabella, a student at Legacy Christian Academy, killed in a horrible car accident.  I imagined her parents waking up from nightmares of the accident that night wondering what they could have done differently to avoid the outcome they got. Like me, they probably heard the rendition of 'if only' as a tireless tirade heard nightly in their dreams.

We think we have control of our lives. We think if we follow the magic formula- A + B= C- that things will be all right with our children.  We think we have control, but in reality, we don't.  What we have is the illusion of control.  Tragedy teaches us how really small we all are on this planet. Waldo's wife, the man who pretty much manages the cemetery, reminded me that death is pretty much a part of life. As a strong Christian, they knew that their earthly relationship with Jesus Christ meant they were in the very presence of the living Savior in heaven.

While we as dads want to fix things for our children, we have to accept the reality that we live in a fallen world where very bad things happen that causes tragic deaths to occur. Waldo and his wife pointed to some of the older graves that date back to the late 1800's and said children buried there died in the flu epidemic of that era. I pictured the dads of that time sitting numbly by the wood burning fireplace asking 'why' over and over again while sipping brandy reminding me they were the fixers of whatever ails their family.

I was reminded through this couple when his wife said they meet regularly with the cemetery association to pray for the families who's loved ones are buried in this little country cemetery located across from the lake near the NowThen Threshing show. 

Finally, to all the families who may still be missing their loved ones, I encourage you to lean into your emotions, handling each emotion one at a time, until that moment passes. Your living Savior is walking with you on this journey of grief and He will help you reach the conclusion of your pain and sorrow to which you might one day start smiling again.

Triggers when you least expect them

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law Galatians 5:22-23

Tonight, I took a drive up to the NowThen Cemetery where our 10-year-old daughter was buried. The funeral home recommended Now Then as a place to lay her to rest. When we saw this place I understood why. This cemetery is nestled in a rural community that sits across from the NowThen Threshing show and next door to a horse farm.  Our final family vacation we took was to Kentucky where we took the kids to see the horses at Kentucky Derby Park. Aside from that my wife always loved horses and it warmed her heart thinking about traveling to Maria's grave site and seeing the horses out.  

When I walked up to Maria's grave site I was shocked to see someone buried next to her. I was shocked because at the time we buried Maria we had purchased a total of 4 burial plots for each of us.  I knew that this was probably an honest mistake. 

None the less, seeing someone's grandmother mistakenly buried in a plot we own filled me with unease because, I guess, I wanted these 4 plots to be just our family.  I'm sure this isn't the first time this has ever happened. 

The story doesn't end here. The director of this cemetery reminded me that we still had our burial plots, but I was looking in the wrong place. When bodies are buried, they are buried pointing east. Once I corrected my line of vision I saw that what I thought was an error wasn't. 

In this same cemetery, I'm told, is a high school girl from Legacy Christian Academy that is buried. As I tried to find her grave to pay respects, I passed by many other grave sites of young children. With each site are families and siblings painfully missing their loved ones. As a parent, you never really get over the death of a child.  Which is why I was inspired to create this website to help bereaved parents, siblings, aunts and uncles and grandparents. www.soaringonwingsofeagles.org

Tomorrow, I will pray and ask God to guide me on what I should do about the burial plot and then I will make the call.

Life is sometimes filled with heart break, hardship and broken promises, but our Lord Jesus is there to pick up the pieces of your life and make you whole again.

I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:14

Our family did a fun assignment. We each were asked to draw out our family tree. My son did what he knew. My wife and I did the same.  

As we placed each family member on the timeline, I discovered some truths: suffering is common. In my family tree of my dad, I found that his father became so incapacitated after the sudden death of his wife Cora that his two very young sons went to live with Cora's family in Crystal, Minnesota. 

Two young boys living with parents who were grieving the loss of their daughter while trying to muster the strength to raise Cora's two boys. On my wife's side of the family, her own mom grew up in a family that experienced the death of a child. 

Back in my dad's family, I experienced the pain associated with sudden death when my dad's brother died on the operating table.  To this day, I remember seeing dad with his head bowed at the kitchen table heaving sobs upon receiving the word of his brother's death in a telephone call. I remember all of us trying to comfort him. 

The only other time I remember dad crying like that was when I shared the news of his granddaughter, Maria. I will never forget the deep emotional pain coming from my dad.

In every family, there are moments of sorrow when the unexpected happens. When those moments occur, the best thing all of us can do is to trust God that he knows what to do with our pain by placing one foot in front of the other and keep pressing on. Oh, the tears may not end and you may likely have trigger moments when your loved one died, but Jesus promises us in his word that he will never abandon or forsake you.

To the family, we know in Green Bay, Houston, and England who experienced the suicide of their brother I can assure you that God understands your pain and he will be there every step of the way until your mourning is done.

I encourage everyone to draw out their family tree because of the truths you may learn.  

When my ancestors came over to America from Sweden their last name was 'Anderson'.  Upon their arrival at Ellis Island, it was learned that one of the relatives played the bugle and some even said the sound he made was as sweet as Gabriel. Our family name was changed to Gabrielson. In the land of Anderson's ( Minnesota), I am grateful that we became Gabrielson's.

A tragedy that could have been avoided if only our medical system didn't view people with mental health problems as second class

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. Psalm 147:3

This talk was given at a local TEDx event, produced independently of the TED Conferences. Amy Biancolli, who lost both her husband and her sister to suicide, talks about surviving those blows and figuring out how to move on. Loss forces the living to reinvent themselves, to re-tool family dynamics and to find meaning in life and laughter with the loved ones who remain. The grief has a mind of its own, frequently ignoring the tidy “stages” we expect of it. But so do moments of levity, which come and go at will. Biancolli

This is a story of a tragedy that could have been avoided if only their loved one got the treatment he needed. The individual in the story suffered from depression. Much earlier in his life, his older brother, an inspiring medical student, committed suicide.. 

 From what I know about early childhood trauma I can speculate that there may be  a connection between his brothers suicide and his own struggles with depression. The emotional pain  of losing a close family member simply doesn't go away on it's own. Unresolved grief cannot be dealt with through overwork.

There is an even bigger tragedy to this story and that is how we view people who struggle with mental health problems. We view them as weak minded people who simply won't suck it up and move on in life. If I could earn a one dollar bill for every time I heard someone tell another person that they need to get over their grief I would be a very, very rich man.

In our American Culture, we tell people who are grieving that they should be over their grief in 6 months while at the same time we treat their symptoms of grief with medication without helping them process the emotional pain of their grief.  Most people are afraid to travel with the grieving person, choosing instead to look for ways to avoid them.

We know from a well known study on early childhood trauma that when people aren't allowed to process their trauma that they will likely see debilitating and chronic diseases later in life that for some end in premature death.

We need to stop treating those who are afflicted with trauma based mental health problems as second class citizens. We need to start training more people who have the skills to help those afflicted with trauma to process their stories without being told they should suck it up.

Most of all, we need a medical system in place that has enough beds and staff to treat those in a trauma-based mental health crisis. 

Imagine how silly it would seem if someone came to the ER with a cut that was bleeding profusely and being told to go home and sleep it off? That is precisely the way our medical system is treating those with mental illness, and it was exactly what happened to our friend who was told by a home town mental health facility they didn't have a bed available for 30 days.

I wonder if he was able to be admitted right away if he might still be alive today. I will let you be the judge.

As I was tending to the beautiful flowers on my deck, I was reflecting on the marvelous ways our Lord works in us

"And why are you worried about clothing? Observe how the lilies of the field grow; they do not toil nor do they spin, yet I say to you that not even Solomon in all his glory clothed himself like one of these. "But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, will He not much more clothe you? You of little faith! Matthew 6:28-30

It is always sad when someone we love dies and sadder still when the person who died did so unexpectantly. When it happens, most of us are filled with the heaviness at the pit of our stomach and an endless supply of tears that seemingly never end. 

 This year, I learned a valuable lesson in the way God delivers his kindnesses, his love, and compassion through the simple routine of tending a garden. I purchase several pots and planted some beautiful flowers in each of them, a combination of different colors that when they bloomed would burst out with colors as if their attempt to communicate was simply, 'Praise be to ourFather in heaven, the giver of life.' 

When I read from 1 Corinthians 3:6-9, I see the connection of what I planted in those pots and the connection to God: " So then neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but God who causes the growth.' 

One morning when I looked out at the flowers I noticed one particular plant looking flat and sickly. I grabbed the watering can and began sprinkling all of those plants, including the one that looked sickly and on the verge of death. The very next morning I looked out and saw to my amazement that same plant bursting forth with brightness and color!

Then, I paused. I reflected on the sadness of loss and the emotional pain all of us feel as we travel the journey of missing somebody.  As I applied this thought to my life, I'm reminded that just as God is the source of hope for what we water, He is also the source of hope as we embrace the pain of loss.

 I glanced at the journals I've kept through the years of my walk with Jesus and can testify each time I spend with God while reading from God's word, I come away from that experience with renewed hope as if I were that wilted flower brimming back to life. 

Through his Son Jesus, God provides a never ending source of 'living water' that permanently sustains us.

Losses will always occur in our lives and the pain may always be there, but God assures us, He will bring us back to life with a brimming hope as we spend time reading His word and lifting heavenward our prayers.

Yesterday, we honored a young lady at her graduation open house

Isaiah 40:31
But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint. 

Linda and I had a great day experiencing worship at New Hope  Church and then joining long time friends of ours to honor their daughter as she ventures into the world where God will paint a beautiful masterpiece on her canvass, and when it is completed she will enter the world with her talent to bless others. 

This year's graduating Legacy Christian Academy class of 2017  experienced the loss of a classmate when the car she was riding in was hit by a truck. She was laid to rest at the same cemetery as our daughter, just several plots over.  I reminded her dad who was pretty sure her parents were coming to this open house that it really didn't surprise me they didn't come because at this stage of their grief they have just barely enough energy to get out of bed, much less venture outdoors. I was hoping the parents of that girl would have been there because I wanted to meet them and be a face of hope that it is possible to heal from the loss of a child. Just before leaving I mentioned that Linda and I would love to come over to meet them over a meal. 

I've learned in my journey that God truly understands what we're experiencing when it comes to the deep forlorn pain of loss. I've also learned that his love for humanity was so great that he was willing to sacrifice his own Son, Jesus, so that all may come to him. I've also learned that God's voice is often heard best when we are hurting, feeling isolated and alone.  As our hearts ache, God's gentle voice speaks through the Holy Spirit within us words of encouragement and hope.

The current class of 2017 has the assurance that He will be with each of them wherever life leads them, and He promises that he will never forsake them no matter what happens to them in life. He will help them celebrate life's successes and he will be there when sudden losses happen to them.

God truly is an Amazing God! 

At a retirement celebration of my wife's former co-worker, I had a conversation with this former co-workers daughter, now a school psychologist on childhood trauma

Why are you in despair, O my soul? And why have you become disturbed within me? Hope in God, for I shall again praise Him For the help of His presence. Psalm 42:5

Yesterday, my wife and I attended a retirement party for a good friend and teacher for over 30 years at Meadow Creek Christian School/Legacy Christian Academy.

 I also knew this teacher and have memories of sitting in school conferences with Merry to hear the academic accomplishments of our two children  Merry had two daughters who coincidentally have dedicated their careers to children-one works as a School Psychologist in Seattle, Washington while the other is working with children caught in the cycle of familial systems abuse.  The person I spoke with who works as a School Psychologist I will refer to as Rebecca.  There is something else you should understand about these sisters.

Both sisters were several years older than our children and both would watch and 'entertain' our children in the Meadow Creek school library as their 'moms would finish up with their daily teacher responsibility. Both sisters knew our daughter Maria and both experience grief with her sudden unexpected passing.

Rebecca and I spent considerable time talking about childhood trauma and how it impacts the cognitive-behavioral processes of the children directly impacted by it.  We both agreed that far too little is being done to help these children cope with trauma based losses, and we both agreed that there is often long-term damage done to the cognitive-behavioral center of the brain of these children because of the insufficient help many do not receive. 

 I have learned from reading different life stories of Adults directly impacted by trauma that many will struggle with legal problems, drinking, doing drugs, having fits of anger that causes marital problems and break-ups.  

Rebecca agreed with my assessment that many children impacted by trauma will have difficulty focusing on classroom work, completing assignments, have increase acting out behaviors with still many dropping out of school all because insufficient professional support is being provided. 

 In one example,  a friend shared the story of his wife's loss of her very good friend at the hands of a drunk driver.  He described briefly how it impacted her husband and his kids- he said that one son has been in and out of jail.  Prior to her loss, their family was very involved in Church and his wife was head of Mops ( Mothers of Preschoolers).

Based on his story and knowing what I know about trauma, I can only imagine that each of them were severely impacted by the loss of their mom and wife- the loss of a child's parental influence upsets the entire order of what these kids needed and impacts them on a cognitive/behavioral and even on a neuro-structural level of children.  It is as though their brain is forever stuck in the flight-fight response- which is ok if you're being chased by a bear, but what happens if there is no bear?

The initial trauma event may take seconds to complete, but the long term damaging effects will often grow exponentially unless proper measures are taken to help our children heal.   Rebecca said we must accept the reality that trauma must be dealt with by lovingly embracing children's traumatic events by validating what is going on in their lives.  Instead of telling them to just focus on 'happy' thoughts we need to come alongside them using games and play to help them process the pain when a loss occurs. 

We need to stop protecting these children thinking that if we take their minds off of their trauma they will heal- we forget that these children go home at night to a house that is void of the love and support they once got from the loved one who is no longer there.

In order to  make sure our younger generation grows up cognitively, behaviorally and emotionally healthy then we must figure out ways of addressing childhood trauma as it occurs; one way is to accept the reality that dealing with trauma isn't simply meeting with these children one time and asking if 'everything's Ok' and depending on the response  we move on. 

 Helping children process their trauma-based losses takes time and may even take years simply because each family member that suffered that loss reacts to trauma in very different, sometimes opposite ways.

There is hope.  If people will learn not to run away from places that  trigger their trauma by placing one foot in front of the other, trusting God by going to church, not missing a Sunday, and finding an outlet for their pain such as writing in a journal, drawing or painting, or finding someone willing to listen to them as many times as it takes to process their pain, then healing will come and things will get better, but at a timetable that is unique for the one affected by trauma.

Today, my wife and I continue to worship at New Hope Church in New Hope, Minnesota- a place we had memories of bringing our deceased daughter to her Sunday school classes.  In the beginning of our loss, it was painful attending this Church, but as we leaned into our grief while processing that trauma, those former painful memories dissipated while joy was renewed!

Spring time is a time of open houses and a time to be a blessing on young people's lives as they make their grand entrance into the world

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11 I long to see you so that I may impart to you some spiritual gift to make you strong— 12 that is, that you and I may be mutually encouraged by each other’s faith. Romans 1:11

Springtime is a time of high school open houses, a time to impart a blessing on the of a young person who is about to enter a world filled with negativity and hopelessness, some of those people have never known what it means to be blessed.

As God's children, we are called to be a blessing to everyone we encounter in this life, as long as there is breath in us. Yet, in the world we live in I find an absence of encouragers to utter the words that all of us are starving for. So many people grow up in environments that are constantly filled by the barrage of discouraging words that do nothing but tear them down. Some children are raised by parents who are addicted to alcohol and drugs that they fail to see the needs of their kids and their kids grow up basically parenting themselves. It is as though a child is asked to look at themselves in the mirror and carry on this dialog:

"Good morning Sammy, how are you doing."

"Fine, and you?"

"Me too."

"Mom and dad must have drank too much last night."

"I know, their fighting woke me up and I tried to drown out their voices so I could sleep and do well on my test today."

" Oh the test."

"But I don't think I will do well, I'm so tired."

Multiple all of the homes a child is having this dialog and you will see the damage that harsh words have on them- anger toward God, anger toward life, animosity toward others, looking for ways to bully others into submission. 

Our world's economy is paying the price for those disparaging words- suicide, chronic illnesses, disability, etc.

The alternative to those harsh words is to be a blessing to everyone we encounter in this lifetime. Open houses are a time to do just that- to give reminders to a young person that he/she was made in God's own image and has been bestowed with gifts uniquely provided by God on their life  to make it in the world they live in and to be a blessing to others he/she meets in life.

What if every child had this dialog instead?

Dad comes into the room of his child

"Hi Son/Daughter, just wanted you to know how much I love you."

Son/daughter look up at dad.

"Thanks, Dad, I love you too dad, would you pray for my test I have to take today?"

"I sure will. I pray and know you will do well." Dad bends down to give his child a hug for reassurance. Son/daughter reach up with open arms ready to receive dad's hug.

This type of dialog is possible if we have Jesus at the center of our core being. Just think of the amazing miracles around the world as one life in Christ touches another with a blessing!

Today, God will once again reveal his awesome amazing power to support a family in Ramsey, Minnesota as they lay their dad to rest

9 that if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.Romans 10:9

The enormity of grief is like a cascading wall of waves coming at you relentlessly that seems to never stop. Yet, as I have seen countless times before when the loss of a loved one occurs, God uses this as an opportunity to display his awesome power of love and support.

There is a family from Ramsey, Minnesota who will experience this awesome love as they bury their Dad way sooner than they had hoped to. Grief and mourning is universally felt all around the world by everyone who has ever had to bury a loved one; yet, it seems when it hits us we feel as though we're the only ones. We feel our bodies ache from physical and emotional pain and we ask God "why me?" We may do this continuously over and over again without getting the answer we're looking for.

This, I know for sure. God truly understands the hearts of the bereaved. After all, He experienced the loss of a His Son. While we may not necessarily see this, but keep in mind that He had a relationship with Jesus. Each time Jesus prayed to His Father in heaven, the Father's heart was warmed.

Each time Jesus resisted the devil's temptation, God's heart was warmed with the knowledge that His son honored him.

God also had a personal relationship with the person being buried today. When this man confessed with his mouth just as Romans 10:9 states and believes in his heart that God had raised Jesus from the dead, he was saved. From that point on, God loved this servant just like he loved his son Jesus who was sacrificed for all of us so one day we can see heaven.

The journey of grief may seem relentlessly painful, but I assure you, God will yet again reveal his awesome power of love and support!