Dolly Parton's ' a coat of many colors is a story how one's faith is shattered after the tragedy of losing a child

When tragedy strikes such as after the loss of a child, that families will grieve in very different ways. Some will isolate and withdraw from others while others become obsorbed by video games. Some will frequent casinos to partake in high risk games of chance. Some will gravitate toward alcohol and drugs to mask their inner pain while others will develop life threatening health problems as a result of this over consumption. Some will recover from trauma through individual therapy while others may die as a result of complications leading to suicide.

Unresolved grief may have profound effects on family members.

In one long term study of grief, the researchers found that unresolve grief may lead to chronic health conditions. Losses can lead to the rejection of their faith with this line of reasoning, "If God is so good, then why didn't he keep my loved one from dying?" In fact, if you were to peer into the lives of atheists you will likely find anger stemming from this illogical conclusions. Instead of turning to God,they turn to alchohol and drugs to cope with pain, or engage in high risk activities leading to the possibility of death.

Then, there are those who turn to their faith that stems the tide of their pain and each day brings them closer to their acceptance of their loss. After all, they reasoned, I will see my loved one again because of what Christ did on the cross.

If you are someone missing a loved one this holiday season, there is hope. Hope is as close as the nearest church that host a grief share group. God does understand your pain and He wants to journey with you until the end.

Man and his birds.

Paul Harvey tells the story of how a man found the true meaning of Christmas through the littlest of God's creatures. The man told his wife that he would not be going to the Christmas eve service because he didn't want to believe in the Christmas fairy tale. So off to Church his wife went while he stayed home. As he was reading the paper, the man heard a thump, then another one, and another one after that. He saw that the winter storm was approaching and reasoned that the birds were trying to get inside to a warm place, but the window stopped them. As he thought, the man reasoned maybe if I opened the barn door then maybe the birds will see it and go into it. But they kept trying to get into his house. Then, the man reasoned maybe if I spread bread crumbs all the way to the barn door then maybe they will follow him into the barn. But the birds didn't come. Instead, they kept trying to enter his warm house.

The man lamented, if only I could become like a bird, to be like them, I can show them the way.........

So often, men have stood on the sidelines and watch their wives do the spiritual nuturing of their children. Like the man in the story, many married men will make excuses why they are unable to attend church with them. While their wives develop a strong faith through the worship music, teaching, and helping in the Children's ministries,the husbands are home getting stressed by the current events of the day. When tragedy strikes, these unchurched men resort to private or public drunkenness just to cope with the pain. Their lives begin spiraling out of control, much like a commercial jet liner losing altitude when its engines went out.

This wasn't God's intention. He created the Church for his people, to strengthen them with fellow ship and encouragement when things do not go right. As men, we need to take responsibility for the spiritual encouragement of our children and our wives just as seriously as our wives do.If we did this, there would be fewer broken homes, fewer messed up children, and a stronger resilence that binds the family together.

This is a classic Christmas radio program that illustrates why God came to earth in the form of a baby boy. He tried to show us the way through major and minor prophets, but man wouldn't listen. He tried speaking through dreams through ordinary people, but it wasn't enough to get our attention for many of us continue along our selfish ways. For many of us we would rather listen to the latest world views taught by professors who did not believe rather than to read the ancient texts of the bible. It is my prayer that all of you will discover what it truly means to be a disciple of Jesus Christ, to follow his teachings, to feed on the word of God, to love your wives just as Christ loved the church.

God redeemed all of us because of the birth of his Son. No matter what world view you hold, God loves you. No matter where you are on the economic strata, God loves you and wants redeem your life through Christ.

4 ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’[a] or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” Revelations 21:4

When I picture the heavenlies above, I picture a new earth. I picture a land without crime, murders, and pandemics. I picture a world where there are no bullies lurching about preying for their next victim.

As I picture heaven, I envision blue waters, forests, and bountiful crops to feed everyone. I picture major prophets of the bible walking with ordinary people telling those stories the rest of us remember from our Sunday school classes.

I see people I once knew on earth who suffered from disabilities who were now made perfectly whole in heaven.

I also see Jesus welcoming earthly deceased people made alive in new heavenly bodies come alive again when they see those who died before them. I see lots of fellowship and feasts on the finest food we never had in our earthly bodies.

I see Jesus wiping away the tears of people new to this place as if Jesus were telling them that he had conquered death once and for all.

I see reunions of parents who lost a child with the most incredible joyful moments. Parents wonder why they had to go through the painful process of grieving when they saw their son or daughter alive again.

When one thinks that we will spend eternity with our loved ones versus the 70-80 years on earth makes one realize that our earthly grief is short in comparison to the life time we would spend with them in heaven.

When I see heaven, I see joy, love, peace,gentleness,and self control.

Finally, when I see heaven I see an urgent need to share with our earthly friends the bibles vision of heaven and the hope it gives us because of what Christ did for us. God loved the whole world and this world is made up of all world views. God wants all to come to him.

Heaven is a very real place. It isn't a time in space, or complete emptiness like some world view thinkers want you to believe. Earth is our temporary home, but heaven is our home eternally.

Won't you open that door that allows Jesus to come into your life like I did in the Spring 1974?

Christmas time can be a brutal time when we are missing someone for the very first time. Remember, God wants to walk with you in your pain.

This approaching Christmas season is hard for those going through the grief journey. Whether it is missing a spouse, a child, a grandparent, or a mom or dad, the pain is very real and the best thing we can do is lean into our pain and let the tears flow. I remember that first Christmas in 2007, a time that seemed so surreal as though it was just a bad dream and we wanted to wake up and see our loved one again. Sigh....There were many dreams I had of Maria that first year after her loss. These types of dreams I called miracle moments as thought God wanted to remind us that Maria was okay and we didn't need to worry about her.

It was also this timeperiod that I discovered the value of journaling my thoughts, sometimes at odd hours of the night. Some would call this lamenting because it is a way to express the inner anguish out on paper. I knew from the beginning that I needed to get through the inner pain without resorting to alcohol or drugs to cope with it.

I also knew that I needed to stay true to my Savior Jesus Christ, the one who saved my soul when I was only 18 and a newly highschool graduate. The person who led me through the salvation prayer reminded me that life will be filled with blessings and tragedies, but then reminded me that the good shepherd would walk every painful step with me until I fully recover from my grief.

Today, there are many others suffering difficult journeys from their losses. Covid deaths, suicides, Opioid overdose deaths, and for others death from medical procedures gone wrong. The pain is intense and real. The best I can offer is a listening ear and reassurance that they will survive their grief at a time-line that is right for them. Only God knows the time it takes for them to recover and the worse thing we can do is tell them to move on with their grief.

In the case of losing a child or young adult son or daughter, there is no set timeline when recovery will occur, but the more one leans into their pain, shares with other trusted listeners, and getting involved in a grief share group, the higher the liklihood that recovery will occur.

In this brief video they illustrate some tips on how to get through the holidays.

In the over all scheme of things, it is our faith that helps us survive our traumatic losses

>16 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

Linda and I have begun watching this well done series on the biblical events portrayed in the bible. The words, images,and the acting will bring your personal bible to life. In fact, the creator of this show encourages everyone to have their bibles near them as you watch. In John 3:16 we are reminded that God wants no one to perish. He gave all of us his only Son, that whover believes him shall not perish but have eternal life. No matter what your world view might be, God died for you. No matter what your life style choices, God died for you. He wants everyone to come to Him to experience life eternal.

My life wasn't the same after I accepted Jesus Christ into my life in the late winter/early spring 1974. Life, of course, wasn't easy, but what I saw was my living Savior walking side by side me through all the storms of life. This same God wants to be your redeemer. Won't you invite Jesus into your life today? Simply invite Jesus with this simple prayer.

Lord Jesus, I confess my sins and ask for your forgiveness. Please come into my heart as my Lord and Savior. Take complete control of my life and help me to walk in Your footsteps daily by the power of the Holy Spirit. Thank you Lord for saving me and for answering my prayer.

If you said this prayer, you can be assured that Christ is in your heart as evidence with the following verses.

Whoever believes in the Son has eternal life; whoever does not obey the Son shall not see life, but the wrath of God remains on him. John 3:36

For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. Ephesians 2:8-9

And this is the testimony, that God gave us eternal life, and this life is in his Son. Whoever has the Son has life; whoever does not have the Son of God does not have life. I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God that you may know that you have eternal life. 1 John 5:11-12

I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God that you may know that you have eternal life. 1 John 5:13

Because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. Romans 10:9 >

This Christmas movie illustrates the impact that unresolved grief can have on the lives of people

Over the last several months I have become aware of sudden deaths of people I knew.

A couple of these deaths were by suicide while one death was from the medical complications following their surgery.

So many of us refuse to go to the dark places we needed to go in order to start the healing process. We would rather turn to Alcohol and drugs to cope with the lingering pain following the loss. For some, this pain lingers as long as 20 years or longer before we realize we need help. During this time, Alcohol and drugs can have damaging effects on the human body the longer the unresolved grief goes.

Without giving away the movie, the older brotherof Benji, who died when he was just 5 was profoundly impacted by his mother's severe alcoholism and hoading behaviors after Benji's death and his dad's abandonment when he left the family.

In one touching scene, the father said to his son when he finally arrived to see him, " I should have done something to stop Benji from climbing that tree." Could of, Should of statements are the most common things we do after the death of a loved one. We think we did something wrong that lead to their death. We grow angry at God and literally shut him out of our lives when a loved one dies.

We rationalize to ourselves that if God is so good, then he would never allow for me to suffer. We forget that God gave us free will and the capability to make our own decisions. Benji wanted to climb that tree to hang the treasured Christmas ornament without realizing the slippery conditions on the branch he stood on. He made the choice to climb without realizing that his life would end. His brother, nor his dad could do nothing to save him.

When complex traumatic losses occur the best we can do is to find trusted listeners who we are comfortable to share our pain without being judged. We need to learn how to openly express our pain for as long as it takes to recover. We need people to know that the grief journey is one that goes at the pace of the one that experience loss.

The last thing grieving people need is to be told to get over it and move on. These types of comments only complicates the grief process.

What we need is Grief share, a 13-week support group that teaches you to go through the pain instead of around it. Grief share is based on 13 weeks of videos of various topics that includes homework assignments through the From Mourning to Joy workbook. Grief share brings participants from anger to forgiveness. The final chapter teaches participants what Heaven is like with the hope that they will see their loved ones again.

For anyone interested in joining a grief share group simply click on this website. I encourage you to watch this Christmas movie.