If only we could spend a day in someone else's shoes

“For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, was in prison and you came to visit me.” MATTHEW 25:35-36 (niv)

It is always interesting spending time at the University of Minnesota Masonic Cancer Institute. Each time I come I look for people to talk with because I want to get to know their stories. As I look around this vast place I could see many people of all ethnicities. As one person I spoke with said-" people he has met come here without the  'attitude' you see outside this place. Those who come are rushing to their doctor's appointment and other treatments, or to get answers why they have their fatigue or malaise.  As I got on the elevator, I met an American couple of Somalian background We talked about the near perfect day with temperatures being in the 80's and how this is a great place to be treated. I met another African American gentleman named Bart who had been bringing his father-in-law to his chemotherapy treatments. He was in the waiting area 'waiting' for his father-in-law to finish up.

As we talked, I found out that his own father was a Pastor. He shared with me the interesting people he has met since he first began bringing his father-law. We talked about how the human spirit has the incredible capacity to heal from a health crisis-and come out stronger in the end. I shared about the story of losing our daughter and toward the end of our journey watching our surviving child grow stronger in his faith while using his musical gifts on a worship team.

He acknowledges with a simple " yes, we were fearfully and wonderfully made."   He described a niece who was initially afraid of her granddad because of the changes she saw as he went through the cancer treatments, but then he said his niece has developed a deeper compassion for those who suffer.  He noticed that no one comes in here with an 'attitude'.  Everyone regardless of their ethnicity comes here to be helped and to be healed from their afflictions.

I learned that people who are in a health crisis are most open to knowing the living and breathing Savior. By simply listening and asking the right questions, and sharing your own life story you can bring their story out.- so that they see in you a living and breathing Savior who assures them that 'God isn't dead, but very much alive to anyone who desires to know Him.

We need more encouraging faith stories that inspires us and draw us closer to Jesus Christ, the author of our faith

Psalm 139:14 
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.

Several weeks ago, my wife and I went to one of the showings of 'BreakThrough'. We were moved by tears when the son who was thought dead came back to life after he had been without oxygen longer than medical science says is possible.  Next week at this time my wife will have completed the first chemotherapy using the 'standard of care' regimen of drugs designed to eradicate the cancerous tumor.  The experimental drug route they tried didn't work out in her case..  I'm thankful the head Oncologist recognized it didn't work as hoped and shifted the treatment strategy. We are still believing that a miracle will take place through this latest medical intervention.

Jesus Christ is the author of our faith. Each of you was uniquely and wonderfully made in your mother's womb. When God formed you, he was beginning to pen your story so the world may know you are His.  As you sojourn life's highway, your story will inspire others to come to Christ through foreseen and unforeseen circumstances. Through circumstances thought to be so horrible that the world cannot comprehend.

The death of a child? God will walk with you through the darkest of days while drawing you to the verses that inspire-the bible.

Permanent disability?  He will make that verse come alive in your life:
As he went along, he saw a man blind from birth. His disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?”“Neither this man nor his parents sinned,” said Jesus, “but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him.  (Nothing is truly impossible with God)

The death of a family member?  Jesus will walk with your through the darkest hour while helping you cherish the memory of the one who died.

The loss of a job?  He will remind you that just as a door closes on one career, he will help find the open passageway into your next one.

As we travel through these uncertain days, my wife and I cling to the author and perfector of our faith  that inspires us to go forward trusting God for all circumstances just as this verse reminds us: For we walk by faith, not by sight. 2 Corinthians 5:7

No matter what you may be experiencing today, or in the coming weeks, you can trust God through your circumstances because you are uniquely and wonderfully made!

No matter where you are on the the trajectory of life, no matter what pain you are experiencing please understand that God loves you and He made you into this beautiful human being you are today.

No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear. I am not afraid, but the sensation is like being afraid. The same fluttering in the stomach, the same restlessness, the yawning. I keep on swallowing. At other times it feels like being mildly drunk, or concussed. There is a sort of invisible blanket between the world and me. I find it hard to take in what anyone says. Or perhaps, hard to want to take it in. It is so uninteresting. Yet I want the others to be about me. I dread the moments when the house is empty. If only they would talk to one another and not to me.” ― C.S. Lewis, A Grief Observed

Christina Rasmussen, Author of her own book, 'Where did you go?' wrote this about grief and fear after the loss of her loved one. I'm re-posting her comments from her blog because what she says about this subject is so important for others to understand in order to understand that you're not going crazy.

I remember reading these words a few days after my husband died and nodding in the midst of my numbness. In that moment I understood what I was feeling.

You see I couldn’t cry for 4 months after he died. I just couldn’t produce any tears.

I felt this horrible nauseated feeling that would give me nightmares at night and a ghostly presence of myself during the day. I was living in the shadow of my old self and had no clue how to get out. But most of all I did not know that fear was the most prevalent feeling in my body.

The best way to describe the fear is the feeling of being lost in a big, dark forest with wild animals and you have nowhere to hide, or no means to protect yourself. It is always dark in that forest, no daylight whatsoever. This is how it felt every day. And in the midst of trying to control my fears I forgot who I was. I lost me. And gained a permanent sense of being afraid. As C.S. Lewis says so well, the dreading of the moments when the house was so empty was when I was scared the most.
I am writing this letter to you today about fear after loss because it is important to know that even when grief goes away the fear stays.

Yes, it stays for much longer than grief and it is that fear that keeps us in The Waiting room (The place between two lives). Over the last 10 years I spent half of them being very afraid and the other half being very afraid but going forth regardless.

I wish I could tell you that by the end of this letter I would be able to give you the steps to make fear go away. I wish I could do that for all of us. But what I can give you is some tried and true wisdom that will help you find yourself again and find your way back to your courage.
The first few months

You are going to be more afraid after loss than you have ever been before.

You will be afraid of the smallest things, the bigger things and everything in between.

Even when certain things were simpler before loss now they have an additional layer of fear and anxiety. Respect the fear that you feel in the beginning of your loss. Listen to the part of you that tells you to not go to the dinner, the party, take the new job, go on that date. In the beginning, if you push too much against the fear you break. Yes we break. The fear is so strong at first and we are so vulnerable that it is best to say no to a lot of the things that now make you uncomfortable and lost.

Now you may ask… but Christina, how can I learn to be courageous if I pull away from everything because I feel this anxiety. Don’t you always advise us to choose life over grief? And my answer to this question is that in the beginning of your loss it is more important to choose activities, friends and experiences that release grief and fear than add to it. So…going for a walk on the beach instead of your sister’s in law dinner is a more courageous choice than you can imagine.


The first year

You will feel as if you are not as social as before, or as friendly as before or as loving as before. And you will be correct to believe that. And I want you to be ok with it. Yep, be ok with the less social self and the less friendly self and the less loving self.

I am going to ask you to accept that part of you first and foremost. I am going to ask you to love the part of you that finds it scary to love, scary to go out and scary to make new friends. This is grief’s aftermath and it happens to us all. But this is where we are now more equipped to start reentering back to life and finding ways to combat the fear. This is when we must make a decision to both understand the fear and choose to go on regardless. Because fear after loss is an experience that doesn’t easily go away. We have been through so much trauma that the brain and the heart can’t just shake it off with some therapy, a good book and some good friends to listen to us. Unfortunately, we have to learn to live life again with fear that kind of sticks around. No matter how bold I have become in the ten years after loss I am more afraid now than I was before my loss. But have taken the biggest risks in my life too. And this is where my next point comes from.


The long journey

I believe that grief is an evolutionary experience if we learn to reenter life regardless of the fear that is sitting on our couch, sleeping in our bed and driving with us every day. When I realized this for myself, and for all the people I was helping, it made the biggest impact on my work and in my own life.

So I stopped asking myself to make big dreams come true or to prove myself, but instead I created small steps for my day to day experience. I called these 5% plug-ins and they have been one of the few reasons for being here with you today. The secret to the plug-in experience is that it has to be only for today. It has to be a very small step and it has to not make you afraid. I remember very clearly when I started going on small road trips with the girls, or when I got my first paying client for my coaching practice at the time. Or even when I started creating my model of work. It had to be about my today, my small step and sneaking out of my fear. Find things you love to do and do them.

Looking ahead

As the years go by we start to be driven by compassion and the need to help others. Compassion becomes the driver and fear sits back in the car. Compassion for others and compassion for ourselves is where we are heading, if we choose to be courageous, despite being afraid. This is when you make dinner for your neighbor who is old and has no family close by. This is when you give money to the homeless man in the street. This is when you start to listen to other’s stories and become a healing witness to them. This is when grief and fear no longer tell you what you should do and not do. You are finally driven by doing good because you know how it feels to be afraid, sad and all alone. This is how I found my way to you.

Wherever you are in the journey, remember to take small steps towards the things that make you happy. And accept this changed self. We cannot go back to where we were. But we can go forward to where we choose to be.  For those who would like too read her book, you can order it at this link.  https://www.amazon.com/Second-Firsts-Step-Step-Guide/dp/1401957064/

As a facilitator of griefshare, I encourage anyone experiencing these feelings to consider going through a 13-week griefshare group- a group that will teach you to travel through the pain, not around it.  https://griefshare.org

10 tips for parents with a child with a newly diagnosed pediatric cancer- from Katie, a mom of a child with pediatric cancer.

As I read these tips on their son's caring bridge page, I thought I would post them here on this blog. Cancer isn't something only older people get, but it is something that crosses all age groups. When a child receives a pediatric cancer diagnosis it is a devasting diagnosis that many cannot wrap their minds around. Here are Katie's 10 tips to moms and dads with a newly diagnosed pediatric cancer diagnosis:


1. School work and being smart is super important. But when you have a child fighting for their life and you need to focus on one thing, make sure you keep reading to them. Read as many books with them as you can. Try to make it fun and funny so they stay interested. It’s beneficial on many levels.

2. You can never have too many thermometers. During chemo treatment, you will be checking for that magic fever number of 101.5 over and over and over. Make sure you have 2-3 solid ones. Take the temp with each one, then average. Trust me, you will go crazy if you only have one and it’s not accurate. And you might end up in the ER with a temp that’s 1-2 points less. Better to be safe than sorry.

3. Don’t forget to take care of yourself. In the beginning, you are going to get depressed, overwhelmed, crave junk food or not crave food at all, scared and completely physically and emotionally exhausted. Do not forget to focus on keeping yourself healthy. The first 5 months of this, I forgot about myself and making sure I was getting what I needed. I always remember on airplane flight safety instructions they say “make sure to secure your own life jacket before assisting others”. Why do we as moms and dads totally forget that rule??! I started making my health a priority again three weeks ago and joined a great new gym. I feel stronger and more capable of being a cancer warrior mom. I even had to carry Jake from the car through the hospital last night, into the ER. We were in a hurry and I couldn’t find a wheelchair. He was so weak he almost laid on the floor when we got out of the car. So... On my back, he went! Thank God I’m strong enough again to do that.


4. Your child is going to feel like they might not be able to relate to their peers while going through treatment. And they might not want to see even their closest friends. They are going to get stared at constantly in public. Kids will look at their bald heads and feeding tube with a look of confusion and fear. Keep pulling them along and distract them. It’s nothing you can try and explain to any random child at Target, so don’t focus on it. Suggest play dates when they are feeling good, but don’t push. They barely remember what “good” feels like. Continue to encourage friends to stop by and invite them to things. And if they want to be alone, that’s ok too.

5. You are going to see things and do things that will break your heart over and over. You will have thought you knew what a bad day was before this. But you will have never seen days like you will see going forward. You will catch vomit in your bare hands, dry a million tears, reason and convince them over and over to let Drs poke and prod them in all areas of their body, squeeze their bloody nose that won’t stop, and sometimes hold their weak bodies in your arms. Unfortunately, your heart is going to break over and over. Don’t let it stay there because u might miss the good day coming tomorrow. Rejoice in all those days. Take a walk when it’s sunny. Stop and stare at a sunset. Don’t look too far into the future and take it one day at a time. Find the hidden blessings in people, nurses, relationships formed with other cancer families and strangers. It’s God showing up and it’s really pretty awesome.

6. You are going to screw up. You aren’t God. You will forget meds, you will lose a lot of sleep, you will forget to make dinner, you might even forget appointments. At some point you will argue with your partner, you might even snap at your kids on a day with little to no sleep, you might not be able to attend to all your other kid’s needs. Unfortunately, your job will suffer, and you might even lose some friends. The real ones and the right ones will always be there. And if you marry the right person and put God first, your marriage will survive. Your kids will all continue to love you and your job will be understanding if you work for a company that’s of moral and ethical decency.

7. Constantly give thanks and praise to the amazing people saving your child’s life. Thank them when they leave the room. Send them care treats along the way to let them know how much you appreciate them. The good ones especially, fall in love with your child and your family and treat them like you are one of their own. You will never be able to repay them enough, but don’t give up trying.

8. Find joy in the journey. Continue to “live”. Continue to “date” your spouse and see your friends. Try and send your child to school on days they feel good, and days where counts are “safe”. Accept invites to fun things that maybe you are only invited too because you are part of the “families with cancer club”. There are some amazing organizations out there that spoil the heck out of our kids going through hell. Let them!!

9. Don’t be afraid to fight with insurance companies to get the best care covered for your child. Even a middle-class family should not have to lose all their savings because their child is sick.


10. When people ask to help, let them. Let them pick up your other kids from activities. Let them bring you dinner. Let them buy you gas cards and shower you with cozy blankets and pillows. This journey is hard, lonely and unpredictable. Push your pride aside and let people help in any way they know how. It makes them feel good too.

To have and to behold, in sickness and in health

“Christ has no body now but yours. No hands, no feet on earth but yours. Yours are the eyes through which he looks compassion on this world. Yours are the feet with which he walks to do good. Yours are the hands through which he blesses all the world. Yours are the hands, yours are the feet, yours are the eyes, you are his body. Christ has no body now on earth but yours.”

I use to ask 'why me' God when bad things happen as if I have this Christian bubble around me that prevents suffering from occurring. Perhaps it is a life experience that I now ask God, why not me? To watch a loved one journey the lonely road of cancer treatment is at times heartbreaking. To sit with her trying to support her as her oncologist is explaining MRI results and the treatment proposal while watching her trying to hold back the tears is not the easiest thing to do. As I look back over our marriage, we have been there for each

To have and to behold, in sickness and in health. I was told one time that most people see a spike in their blood pressure as they pull up and see the large signage that reads, University of Minnesota Masonic Cancer Institute. Every day, people of all ages come to this clinic for their chemo/immune therapy to hopefully kill off the cancer cells and reduce the size of their tumor. There are some who receive positive news and others who receive the heartbreaking news that their treatment isn't working like it should.

Like grief after a loss of a loved one, traveling this cancer road is a lonely one, only because few people know what to say to someone given a cancer diagnosis. In one conversation I had with an Oncologist, she said that over half of her cancer patients have either unprocessed bottled up stress, or unresolved trauma-related issues. She said that it would be helpful if her patients learned how to talk about their stress. I mentioned I was a facilitator of a grief share group an this is something that this group teaches through the 13-week video and from Mourning to joy exercises- teaching people how to go through the pain of their grief, not around it.

If you know someone battling cancer, I encourage you to reach out to them and be their trusted listener. You may never know the impact this may have on them until you cross the heavenly threshold and Jesus says with tenderness in his voice, "well done my good and faithful servant."

Mother's day can be a especially troubling time when the child they once had is no longer there.

“For in grief nothing "stays put." One keeps on emerging from a phase, but it always recurs. Round and round. Everything repeats. Am I going in circles, or dare I hope I am on a spiral?
But if a spiral, am I going up or down it?
How often -- will it be for always? -- how often will the vast emptiness astonish me like a complete novelty and make me say, "I never realized my loss till this moment"? The same leg is cut off time after time.”
― C.S. Lewis, A Grief Observed


As I was attempting to sleep, I lamented for the mom's and dad's out there who are in pain for the loss of their child. A child who isn't able to send them a mother's day card, or offer a sweet hug, or a simple "I love you" to them.

I'm aware that on my facebook page are mom's and dads who find themselves at a loss wishing they had many more special occasions to spend with their child. Every day,  this club grows- something most who haven't experience this type of loss does not understand.

 Loss comes in many packages from the young married woman who miscarriages to experiencing the death of their chronically ill child to sudden death caused by an accident.  Though the pain of such a loss is intense, though there are few who know what to say to those experiencing such a loss, and though our world grows really small to a few who truly get it, I'm reminded by my own grief that God does love us and shows us in the little miracle moments of our lives that He truly does care.

One quote I remember from Grief share is this one: "The intensity of one's grief is the reflection of the love they had for the person that died."   The other lesson I learned from this loss is that it teaches us how small we really are in this universe and how much we need God to sojourn with us when the loss occurs. It also teaches me how important God's word and assembling together with others on the Sabbath means to me.

If you are missing a loved one and find it hard to 'survive' these holidays without them, I encourage you to find a grief share group near you. This is a group that will teach you how to go through the pain, not around it. https://griefshare.org

Finally, if you are in pain, just know that you are loved by God who wants you to continue placing one foot in front of the other, going forward trusting that God knows how to process your pain.

A simple act of car shopping revealed to me the reality of migrant camps and the humanitarian crisis in this world

16 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?version=NIV&search=John%203:16

One afternoon, as I was getting in my slowly dilapidated Chrysler Town and County, now with 241,000 miles on it, I decided to test drive a newer car at the local Morrie's automotive group.  I was greeted by a young lady who helped me with my test drive. As  I drove the car she proceeded to tell me everything about this vehicle I was driving through her smartphone. She asked me about my family and my kids. I shared with her that I had a recently married son. She asked me if I had other children. I shared with her that my wife and I had a daughter who died the first night home from the hospital after her successful surgery at the age of 10.

She shared with me that her family were originally from Bosnia, but had to flee when she was just 2 years old.  She remembers living in a refugee camp until they were given the approval to settle in Germany, but not all of her family. Some of her siblings waited before Sweden gave them the green light to migrate there. She has not seen that side of her family. She shared that it was several years before her family was given the approval to come to America. She said that when she was in grade school, she lost her hearing in one ear, but she learned to adapt to hearing out of the other one.  I discovered that her beginning life wasn't easy.

I remember another refugee explaining to me that no one wants to leave their homeland, but when war or civil strife breaks out and their lives are threatened they have no choice to leave. Life on the run becomes a traumatizing experience with many encountering decades of nightmares and flashbacks from those experiences.

Right now, I have this glorious image in my head of Jesus Christ with his arms stretched out as those he was reminding us that He died for everyone in this world, including the Bosnians, Syrians, Somalian, and Central American refugees. 

As a Christian, I cannot ignore those cries from the mothers and fathers trying to soothe their kids that they will be okay as they sleep in a tent provided by the United Nations as they await word which country they can seek asylum. 

I'm proud of living in Minnesota, a state that has done its part to allow immigrant groups to settle and call this place home for the first time since being forced to leave their own.

God has a greater plan to help one recover from loss than the alcohol that sits in your liquor cabinet.

‘This is what you are to say to Joseph: I ask you to forgive your brothers the sins and the wrongs they committed in treating you so badly.’ Now please forgive the sins of the servants of the God of your father.” When their message came to him, Joseph wept. His brothers then came and threw themselves down before him. “We are your slaves,” they said.19 But Joseph said to them, “Don’t be afraid. Am I in the place of God? You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. Genesis 50

I was reminded last night the importance of trusting God with the pain that has taken root when a loss occurs. In some families, there is the 'tradition' that when bad things happen they go out and get drunk. Since the older we get there is a lot of drinking and partaking that goes on that can really end badly if one is pulled over for a DUI, become diagnosed with diabetes, or heart disease, or clinical depression creating more pain and suffering for those around them.

The story from Genesis 50 about a man named Joseph who was loved by his father Jacob and hated by Joseph's brothers who kidnapped and sold him to a couple of vagabonds thinking that now they wouldn't have to deal with their brother's favoritism. By this time Joseph had found favor by Pharoah and was now in a leadership position when his brothers returned to beg for forgiveness by prostrating themselves and declaring themselves his slaves. Joseph uttered those words, " you intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done.https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Genesis%2050

When pain and suffering come, we are quick to blame God, throw out the bible ( the one source of comfort) and grab the nearest liquor bottle and drown our sorrows away whenever a loss occurs. We live in a world of instant gratification. We want lunch we grab something quick at the drive-through. When memories are too great after a loss we move away in hopes that those memories won't follow us.

When pain and suffering come, I've learned that the best thing we can do is to stay on the journey we're on while trusting God that he knows what to do with your pain. This isn't going to be easy by any stretch of the imagination and the path will be filled with many triggers of your loss, but I can assure you that if you give it time ( remember there is no timetable to your grief because the pain you feel is a reflection of the love for the person who died) you will begin to see God's greater picture for this pain- much like the story of Joseph.

Finally, if there is any takeaway to this post, it is that drinking and drugs are not the healthy way of processing one's pain. Alcohol is a depressant that can only lead to more pain, more complicated grief, and in the end health diagnosis, you wished you never had.

If you are suffering from the ramifications of a loss of a loved one, I encouraged you to look for a grief share group near you. This 13-week group will teach you how to go through the pain, not around it.https://griefshare.org

And in Sickness and in health

25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.[a] 28 In the same way, husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body. Ephesians 5:25-30
I remember the vow I made to my chosen bride on the day I was married, and again when I witnessed my son reciting those same vows to his chosen bride. 

, I, Todd, take you Linda to be my lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.

So many of us men failed to see the rest of that verse from Ephesians beyond Verse 22 where it says 'wives submit to their husbands.'

For some men there interpretation for that verse is "Woman, submit." as if it is their interpretation as they go off selfishly pursuing their hobbies.

Yet, God calls us to love our wife as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her- that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing that she might be holy and without blemish.

Men, what are you doing to earn her respect for your authority? Are you developing a true love for God's word, or are you letting your wife handle the 'Spiritual matters' of bringing the kids to church while you stay home to read the paper or watch Sunday sports on television?

Men, are you encouraging your wife daily with scripture you read that has the long-lasting effect of sanctifying her? We have been given a lofty task with our marriage vow to her.

Men, what are you doing to encourage your wife, 'in sickness and in health'? In the back of your mind are you wishing and hoping she will never get sick, or worse develop a debilitating disease or chronic disability? Statistics demonstrate that as we travel the trajectory of life, we will be impacted by disability and other health matters. In Disabled world, https://www.disabled-world.com/disability/statistics/ I discovered that persons with disabilities are more likely to be victims of violence or rape, according to a 2004 British study, and less likely to obtain police intervention, legal protection or preventive care. Women and girls with disabilities are particularly vulnerable to abuse. A survey in Orissa, India, found that virtually all of the women and girls with disabilities were beaten at home, 25 percent of women with intellectual disabilities had been raped and 6 percent of women with disabilities had been forcibly sterilized. Research indicates that violence against children with disabilities occurs at annual rates at least 1.7 times greater than for their peers without disabilities.

Men, how we treat the most vulnerable among us directly impacts their well being. Are we striving to love Christ and sacrificing our needs for the needs of others? Loving your wife through sickness and in health is one way of demonstrating this passage. Staying committed to your wife without bailing on her when disability becomes part of her physical and or emotional makeup is another way of demonstrating that passage.

But one way you can change those sobering statistics is by loving your wife just as Christ loved the church and supporting her even when disability occurs.

Broken together

Matthew 8:23-27 New International Version (NIV)Jesus Calms the Storm23 Then he got into the boat and his disciples followed him. 24 Suddenly a furious storm came up on the lake, so that the waves swept over the boat. But Jesus was sleeping. 25 The disciples went and woke him, saying, “Lord, save us! We’re going to drown!”26 He replied, “You of little faith, why are you so afraid?” Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm.27 The men were amazed and asked, “What kind of man is this? Even the winds and the waves obey him!”

Every once in a while my wife and I are treated to a special song that ministers to our hearts. 

Yesterday morning was one example when our worship leader, Dayton Dodge sang a duet with his wife entitled Broken together.  This song symbolizes for me that as we journey through life we will pick up scars of brokenness along the way. Whether it is occasional marital strife, cancer, or serious health problems with family members, it is a reminder that we need to lean on the Savior to help us through those troubled moments.  

Sometimes, when the storms get rough and we're hanging on for dear life we want to give up.   It is at that point we need to cling on to Jesus by crying and trusting Him that he knows how to support us when life's troubles come our way. 

It is also a time to remember those marriage vows, 'for better or for worse'  If you are single and reading this post, it is a time to reflect on the prayer when Jesus came into your life and then to remember it is 'for better or for worse' because Jesus will be there to guide you through life's precarious moment's- good or bad. 

When our former worship leader felt called to take a Senior Pastor role in Iowa, I wonder if worship would be the same, but after the service on Sunday, I discovered the unique gifts Dayton bring to the worship service.  

This song is a reminder that God can use our brokenness and the last line to this song speaks to my heart-

                          "The only way we’ll last forever is broken together"

What do you think about when you look at me

I know we’re not the fairytale you dreamed we’d be

You wore the veil, you walked the aisle, you took my hand

And we dove into a mystery

How I wish we could go back to simpler times

Before all our scars and all our secrets were in the light

Now on this hallowed ground, we’ve drawn the battle lines

Will we make it through the night

It’s going to take much more than promises this time

Only God can change our minds

CHORUS:

Maybe you and I were never meant to be complete

Could we just be broken together

If you can bring your shattered dreams and I’ll bring mine

Could healing still be spoken and save us

The only way we’ll last forever is broken together

How it must have been so lonely by my side

We were building kingdoms and chasing dreams and left love behind

I’m praying God will help our broken hearts align

And we won’t give up the fight

It’s going to take much more than promises this time

Only God can change our minds

CHORUS:

Maybe you and I were never meant to be complete

Could we just be broken together

If you can bring your shattered dreams and I’ll bring mine

Could healing still be spoken and save us

The only way we’ll last forever is broken together [x2]

I strive for a faith like a mustard seed, but sometimes I end up with faith looking like Linus's little tree

Matthew 17:20He replied, “Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”

What did Jesus mean when he said if you have faith as small of a mustard seed? Did it mean we can get by on a 'little faith'? I looked that up and discovered that Mustard trees have been found in various locations throughout the world. Even though it’s one of the smallest seeds, the trees can grow up to 20 feet tall and 20 feet wide. The tree can grow in arid, dry climates and thrive even in clay or sandy soil. It can grow in hot, dry weather or cool, wet climates. I see the mustard seed as being symbolic of faith in that our faith can be tested in the “dry times”, the most difficult of circumstances (drought, poor soil, and in clay or sandy ground).https://www.whatchristianswanttoknow.com/mustard-seed-faith-meaning-and-life-lessons/


Because of what Christ did for us, we too can tolerate the dry times in our lives, the difficult growing seasons of a Christian, and even when we are “planted” in poor soil we can still grow, even if in the harshest of conditions.


Faith like a tiny mustard seed. This seed of faith is resistant when troubled times come. This little seed explains why Chinese, Somalian, and eastern European Christians are thriving in the harshest conditions even when their faith must go underground, away from government control.

It explains when traumatic losses occur some impacted families of that trauma are able to thrive and grow stronger in the aftermath of that loss.

It explains why some families are able to pull together and grow stronger even in the aftermath of losing a child.

It explains why children who came out of impoverished backgrounds without the advantages others not only survive but thrive.

It explains why when Church buildings are burned to the ground, the Christian faith continues to thrive because Christ resides in those who believe.

It explains how the Apostle Paul was able to survive in prison while sharing what he saw on that road to Damascus and seeing others come to Christ in the midst of his own suffering.

 Those who knew Paul remembered that he was once a man named Saul who hated Christian's with a passion until the Lord met him in a blinding moment on the road toward Damascus.

It is because of our faith, we can come confidently to our Lord Jesus and pray as the need arises. We can pray short prayers throughout the day as the spirit within us alerts us. We can pray for others who are suffering, hurting, experiencing unusually tough times, and we can pray for our President ( regardless of party) and we can pray for Congress, the local legislature, all the way down to local politics.

It explains where there is no alternative to pray because prayer rejuvenates hope and hope does not disappoint just as Romans 5:5 says "because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us."

It explains why if I do not pray, the unacceptable alternative is to complain, to banter, to curse what I see which will only increase my blood pressure and my cortisol levels to dangerous levels leading to heart attack and stroke.

The faith of a tiny mustard seed, the seed that is resistant in the harshest conditions, the seed that bounces back stronger even if it is cut down. There is something else about the mustard seed that has implications to a dead and dying world: the leaves can be made into, you guessed it, mustard. The tree can produce edible salts, some have used the small branches as toothbrushes, the leaves have been shown to prevent tooth decay and alleviate toothaches. The implications of this tree are not lost in a dead and decaying world.

It explains why the world needs the love of Christ and the hands and feet of his believers to serve the sick, the downtrodden, and ministered to the needs of those afflicted with the effects of trauma.

It explains why we need believers to develop their listening skills so when a friend that is grieving will have someone to climb down in the muck and mire of their grief to simply listen to their pain.


Regardless of one's world view, we were meant to have a personal relationship with Jesus because he died for all just as John 6:40 reminds us: " For my Father’s will is that everyone who looks to the Son and believes in him shall have eternal life, and I will raise them up at the last day.”

As we encounter the scars of this life, we are comforted knowing that Jesus is walking beside us no matter what trauma is inflicted upon us.  He helps us appreciate the scars we encounter. 

I am they-Scars

Waking up to a new sunrise

Looking back from the other side

I can see now with open eyes

Darkest water and deepest pain

I wouldn't trade it for anything

Cause my brokenness brought me to You

And these wounds are a story You'll use

So I'm thankful for the scars

'Cause without them I wouldn't know Your heart

And I know they'll always tell of who You are

So forever I am thankful for the scars

Now I'm standing in confidence

With the strength of Your faithfulness

And I'm not who I was before

No, I don't have to fear anymore

So I'm thankful for the scars

'Cause without them I wouldn't know Your heart

And I know they'll always tell of who You are

So forever I am thankful for the scars

I can see, I can see

How You delivered me

In Your hands, In Your feet

I found my victory

I can see, I can see

How You delivered me

In Your hands, In Your feet

I found my victory

I'm thankful for Your scars

'Cause without them I wouldn't know Your heart

And with my life I'll tell of who You are

So forever I am thankful

I'm thankful for the scars

'Cause without them I wouldn't know Your heart

And I know they'll always tell of who You are

So forever I am thankful for the scars

So forever I am thankful for the scars