Are you prepared?

The entire Bible is God's love affair with the human race. He desires to reach the souls of men and woman and give them peace and fulfillment. 

There is a predicament facing a man that often doesn't show up until they lose someone special in their lives. A predicament that sends men running in the opposite direction when 'bad' things happen to them. Depression, anger, guilt, and hate fill their hearts when someone dies.  

"If you're a loving God, then why in hell couldn't you keep my loved one alive. If you loved me then why couldn't you keep my parents together, my sibling alive, and my mom from dying? 

Focus on your own despair you will lose hope, but focus on the Cross of Jesus and you will find peace and understanding of your circumstances.  

Focus on reading God's love story you will see how much Jesus loves you.  

Just as Reverend Billy Graham's earthly life has come to an end, our own lives will one day conclude it's earthly existence.  Where will your eternal destiny take you? To hell away from God, or to heaven in the presence of Jesus Christ.  A quick check on death statistics reveals that 151,600 people each day die and every hour 6,316 die.  The general consensus is that we're all going to die.

I hope this message will help you make the right eternal decision.

Are you ready to die?

There was no greater evangelist than the Reverend Billy Graham. He had the capacity to explain the Gospel in simple terms that made sense to those in need of hearing the truth.  Reverend Billy Graham didn't just die. He didn't just die, but because of his faith in Jesus Christ he bypassed the seat of judgment an went directly to heaven.  

There are many today who do not know Jesus who are banking on the possibility that the bible was a myth and that nothing will happen to them when they do die. This is a fallacy. The truth is there were thousands who witnessed Jesus Christ resurrection.  

To deny Christ would be a gamble- a bet impossible to win.  When given a choice between choosing Christ and going to heaven and rejecting Christ and winding up in hell, I choose Christ. I choose Christ because Jesus paid the penalty for my sin. 

All of us have a decision to make. I hope this Reverend Billy Graham message will persuade you to make the right decision.

These bodies we have are amazing works of our Father in heaven who created them....

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. Psalm 138:14

On Sunday after returning from Church with Linda and her mom, I noticed a smell coming from the lower level of her mom's home. This smell seemed much stronger the closer I got to the oil burning furnace.  My sense of smell told me it shouldn't be there. Linda's sense of smell had been compromised by her 'cold' which thankfully did not turn into any flu-like symptoms of so many other's, but the moment I mentioned it she began noticing that smell as well.  So she google search the symptoms and not liking what she read she called the local heating guy her parents trusted all these years.  

Well, after describing enough of what the symptoms were he deemed it enough of a concern to stop over as soon as he was done with another person's 'boiler' While we were at the nursing home that evening, Linda spoke with the repair guy of which he rattled off a couple of scenario's and then he added that the family may want to replace the older style oil based furnace with the more acceptable gas furnace which is more energy efficient, and more attractive to future home buyers.

For our safety, he turned off the furnace and gave us 2 space heaters until tomorrow when he can come back to clean out the boiler to see if that would eliminate the smell- if not the decision would have to be made to put a new furnace in.

What I learned from this is how our bodies were fearfully and wonderfully made just like it says in in Psalms 139:14. My sense of smell leads me to the realization of a potentially faulty furnace just like the teachers in the Florida shooting relied on their sense of hearing to help students reach a safe place. 

For those who know me will know that my sense of hearing has been compromised since birth, but God gave me a pair of eyes to more adequately read the non-verbals of others.

As a man, I feel like my purpose was fulfilled when I was able to correctly describe issues I was sensing and was able to help 'fix' the problem by encouraging my wife to contact her parent's furnace professional. 

Just when it is easy to feel discouraged by the world we live in, I remind myself that our bodies were fearfully and wonderfully made and though we, at times, may feel a lack of purpose, God reminds us we are every bit as important to the world around us!

My heart goes out to the families of these students shot dead at the hands of a 19-year-old who was able to buy legally a AR-15 semi-automatic machine gun and blast his way into this school

As you read the stories of students killed, I would like you to take note of your own children and I think when you do you will see they really aren't much older or younger than your own. Those who were killed started off their day thought to be just a normal day until their loved ones received word about the school shooting. While there were parents who were able to embrace their scared and traumatized children, countless others saw their lifeless remains just prior to the body bag being zipped shut.

These kids were killed with a 19-year-old was able to legally buy a AR-15 semiautomatic machine gun and blast his way into this school. I'm dedicating this blog to the children killed and the families who miss them. While so many still believe in the sanctity of the AR-15, I stand on my opinion that this weapon of mass destruction with its capacity to quickly become a semi-automatic machine gun needs to be banned just as it was banned by President Ronald Reagon. Please read each of their stories

Alyssa Alhadeff, 14

Alyssa wanted to become a lawyer as well as a professional soccer player, according to her mother Lori, who attended a vigil for victims on Thursday.

She was a member of the school’s Parkland Soccer Club, who honored her in a Facebook post.\

Scott Beigel, 35

Geography Teacher and Cross Country Coach.According to the Sun-Sentinel, Beigel was shot and killed when he unlocked his classroom door in order to allow students to take refuge from the gunman. He was mortally wounded while trying to re-lock the door.

Martin Duque Anguiano, 14

According to the Sun-Sentinel, Miguel also paid tribute to his brother on Instagram, stating, “Words can not describe my pain. I love brother Martin you’ll be missed buddy. I know you’re in a better place. Duques forever man I love you junior!!! R.I.P Martin Duque!”

Nicholas Dworet, 17
Nicholas was a swimmer at the school who had committed to competing at the college level at the University of Indianapolis at the beginning of February.His brother, Alexander, was grazed by a bullet in the back of his head

Aaron Feis, 37

Assistant Football Coach, and Security Guard, Feis died while using his body to shield students from bullets as the gunman opened fire.

Jaime Guttenberg, 14

“My heart is broken. Yesterday, JennGuttenberg was a dancer who was described as the “life of the party” during a statement made by her father, Fred, at a candlelight vigil on Thursday.ifer Bloom Guttenberg and I lost our baby girl to a violent shooting at her school. We lost our daughter and my son Jesse Guttenberg lost his sister. I am broken as I write this trying to figure out how my family get's through this,” Fred wrote in a Facebook post that was also made on Thursday.

Christopher Hixon, 49

Athletic Director, Wrestling Coach and Security Specialist. Hixon came from a family with an extensive background in the military and served in the U.S. Navy. He also was a huge influence on the school’s wrestling team and was killed while patrolling the school’s campus as part of his job as the security specialist.

Luke Hoyer, 15

Luke was described as a “good kid” who “never got in trouble” by his grandparents, who live in South Carolina.


His uncle, Toni Brownlee, also posted about his death on Facebook: “This has devastated our family and we’re all in shock and disbelief. Our hearts are broken. Luke was a beautiful human being and greatly loved.”

Cara Loughran, 14“

This morning, I had to tell my 8-year-old daughters that their sweet cousin Cara was killed in the shooting at Stoneman Douglas High School yesterday. We are absolutely gutted,” Fontana wrote in a Facebook post on Thursday. “While your thoughts are appreciated, I beg you to DO SOMETHING. This should not have happened to our niece Cara and it can not happen to other people’s families.”

Gina Montalto, 14

Gina's family described her as a hardworking student with a keen sense of humor who "melted each heart with an infectious smile that light up a room."

"She was a kind spirit, always eager to lend a helping hand," the family said in a statement. "Gina will be missed not only by her family but by everyone whose life she touched."

Gina was also a member of Douglas’ winter guard on the school’s state-champion marching band, which was scheduled to perform at a regional competition in Tampa on Saturday, according to the Sun-Sentinel.

Joaquin Oliver, 17

Joaquin was a hip-hop and sports lover who became a naturalized American citizen in January 2017, after moving to the United States from Venezuela at the age of 3, according to the Sun-Sentinel.

Alaina Petty, 14

Alaina was extremely devoted to her local community, according to a statement made by her family via the Latter-day Saints Living publication.

“It is important to sum up all that Alaina was and meant to her family and friends,” the statement said. “Alaina was a vibrant and determined young woman, loved by all who knew her. Alaina loved to serve.”

Meadow Pollack, 18

According to her cousin, Jake Maisner, Meadow was the youngest member of her family and enjoyed spending time with her family, the ­Sun-Sentinel reports.


Maisner also added that his cousin had planned on attending Lynn University in Boca Raton after she graduated.

Helena Ramsay, 17

She was deeply loved and loved others even more so. Though she was some what reserved, she had a relentless motivation towards her academic studies, and her soft warm demeanor brought the best out in all who knew her. She was so brilliant and witty, and I’m still wrestling with the idea that she is actually gone.”

Alexander Schachter, 14

Schachter played the trombone and baritone as a member of Douglas’ marching band.


Schachter’s family stated on the page that “He was a sweetheart of a kid!” and “survived by his heartbroken parents, three siblings, grandparents and countless cousins, aunts, uncles, and friends.”

Carmen Schentrup, 16

Last September, Carmen was named one of 53 National Merit Scholarship Program semifinalists in the county. She was one of 10 Douglas students to qualify as a semifinalist, according to The Eagle Eye, the school’s student-run news magazine.


Carmen was also a piano student who had performed on Saturday at Broward College for the South Florida Music Teachers Association Spring

Peter Wang, 15

Peter was a member of the JROTC program at Douglas. His cousin, Aaron Chen, told the Miami Herald that Peter was last seen wearing his uniform and holding the door open so that people could escape. He had planned on celebrating the Chinese New Year with his family.



These deaths go much further than the immediate families. Seeing the way these children died can also trigger the emotions of your own losses. If this is you I encourage you to explore getting into a 13-week support group at this link-www.griefshare.org

The secret to eliminating the epidemic of mass shooters may not be in eliminating the AR-15, but removing the stigma of mental and letting people seek the help they need.

Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness. Isaiah 41:10

The other evening, I pose a statement on social media that I knew would receive many divergent opinions from both sides of the political fence. The emotions of yet another mass shooting would bring those responses out in the aftermath of the recent Fort Lauderdale shooting. The statement went something like this:

'We must ban the AR-15 gun-they were used in every mass shooting in recent history.'

Sure enough, the length of that conversation grew with each new comment. I pose that statement to prove how divided this nation really is as we strive toward understanding the 'why's' of this shooting. Afterall, we want to find a root cause of this problem and we want to solve it immediately- so in one sense, it seems easier to go after the gun that was used to kill innocent lives.

There is an even bigger problem our nation is facing and that would be the lack of effective fathers in the lives of these young men. In the case of every single one of these mass shooters, the lack of a healthy dad in the lives of these men leads to their increasing feelings of rage. In an article in Huffington, the writer highlights the things boys need from their dads. https://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/05/01/father-son-relationships-dad-raising-boy_n_3186191.html


Some of the things include:

“Does my son know that he matters to me?”

“Does my son know that I love him?”

Does my son know that what he does is important to me?

Does my son know how proud I am of him?

Our boys and girls need words of affirmation from their dads. They need their dad's to show them how they should do life. In virtually every case of these mass shooters, they didn't have affirmation when their father's left home, abandoned them, didn't spend enough time with them, or had patterns of severe dysfunction through addictions that it rendered them useless as dad's.

In addition, we need to stop treating mental illness as a stigma by referencing 'those people' should be locked up. Instead, we should treat mental health just like we would treat an open cut- we see a doctor and have them stitch us back up without repercussions of what might happen if they see a 'shrink'. The crisis we're experiencing can be remedied through the care and compassion of a therapist- if only those in crisis can access the mental health system.

 The reality is every one of us is capable of succumbing to a mental health crisis and often we are just one major crisis away from one- the loss of a job, the death of a spouse, death of a child, being a survivor of a mass shooting for that matter and the list goes on.

The warning signs of the recent shooter were there, but we didn't see the- father who died when he was in grade school, the mother who died unexpectedly in November, that he was filled with rage over the injustice of seeing other friends with fully alive parents and he didn't have that for his own life, feeling misunderstood and referred to as 'that weird kid'.

If we could have reached this kid through the roughest patch of his life through timely intervention, just maybe those 17 lives would still be among us. How?

By removing the stigma from mental health and finding ways to bring people in crisis to seek the help they need so they can function once again without feeling the stigma of that label, just maybe we can keep people out of the criminal justice system. Our schools need to hire more counselors and mental health social workers to make sure students in crisis receive the necessary help they need. If we can find money for sports, certainly we can find money to support the mental health needs of our community. 

If the proper intervention could have been given to this shooter, he might have been able to overcome that mental health crisis and gone on and become the next Engineer.

Finally, I encourage everyone encountering the loss of a loved one (do not underestimate the powerful grip this pain has on you) and find a 13-week Griefshare group near you through this link: griefshare.org  Your mental health is counting on it.

The missing key....

"But now, Lord, what do I look for? My hope is in you. Psalm 29:7

Last Sunday, my wife sang in all 3 services with her choir to honor  Pastor Jeff's send-off to his new church, Cedar Heights Baptist in Iowa. Pastor Jeff was our Worship leader for the past16 years. His leadership has been a blessing to hurting people in search of the Savior. When he first came, our children were in early elementary school so it was with some sadness we all said good-bye.We were sad, but happy to see another church experience Pastor Jeff's ministry!

Linda and I drove separately because she needed to be there earlier than I. When I finally arrived, I parked in the back row before heading into the Worship service. 

Everything went smoothly until I got back to my car and discovered the key I thought I had in my pocket was missing. As my wife and son will testify, for they have witnessed this through the years, I panicked while searching through all the pockets of my bomber jacket for that missing key.

So I ran back inside in hopes of backtracking my steps hoping to find the missing keys. I checked the upstairs lost and found where I saw 15 other keys in the box, mine was not there. Sure, I could have taken those 15 keys in hopes one by some sort of miracle would start my engine, but the odds were against that happening.

Since my van wasn't going anywhere, my wife drove me to the Indian restaurant where we caught up with our Life group. We were late, of course. We had an abbreviated group meeting before everyone headed back to church for Pastor Jeff's farewell reception.

After arriving back at Church, I decided to put my detective cap on and continue my singular quest of finding the missing keys. I walked upstairs, then downstairs to no avail. I decided to walk toward the van, this time trying all the doors in case one of them was unlocked. 

Just like Monty Hall's 'Let's make a deal' the final door was unlocked. I got in and no key was found. 

Like Sherlock Holmes, I surmised the key had to be inside the building.

I walked back inside and saw my friend Joe waiting for his family to come out from Pastor Jeff's reception. So I asked him, "Joe, do you know if the church has a downstairs lost and found?" Joe pointed to the black cabinet just around the corner under the stairwell. I walked over and opened the door and lo and behold my key was there sitting on the shelve, at eye level looking directly at me, as though it were mocking me.

In this instance, I was reminded how important it is to have the right key.

 Many of us are looking in the wrong places for peace and tranquility. We want God to shower us with gifts, but we're quick to anger when hard times come our way to reject God.

I am reminded of those words in John 14:6- Jesus said to him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me. 

While to some, this may seem harsh and judgemental, God wanted to remind us that he was saving us the agony of heading down the wrong pathway- as though Jesus was using the flashlight to show us the right path.

While there may be many keys that help us to be happy in our lives, God reminds us that his son Jesus is the only key that unlocks the treasures of heaven. I'm reminded of another verse in Matthew 'Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.' In reality, there really is no better comforter than our Savior, Jesus, becoming the good shepherd to guide us through the valleys of our lives.

The key I found started my car just as my Lord Jesus helps me to plug into the Holy Spirit within me to guide me through good and hard times of this life.

I think it 's about time we take the shame out of those afflicted by mental health by learning to walk in their shoes

In his book, Grief Observed, C.S. Lewis describes his personal experience of grief in this way-“No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear. I am not afraid, but the sensation is like being afraid. The same fluttering in the stomach, the same restlessness, the yawning. I keep on swallowing.
At other times it feels like being mildly drunk, or concussed. There is a sort of invisible blanket between the world and me. I find it hard to take in what anyone says. Or perhaps, hard to want to take it in. It is so uninteresting. Yet I want the others to be about me. I dread the moments when the house is empty. If only they would talk to one another and not to me.”
― C.S. Lewis, A Grief Observed


What C.S. Lewis was describing was this universal reaction all of us will one-day experience following the loss of someone very special to us. All of us, it seems, is just one traumatic life event from succumbing to this mental affliction. 

Yet, when you look at our American culture you get the impression everyone's happy, healthy and wise! We seem to have this notion that God's goodness upon our lives equates to the amount of time we spend with him- almost like God is some celestial Santa Clause who bestows blessings upon blessings on our lives.

Like the painted ladies of San Francisco, we walk around with a smile trying to cover up the pain inside.

In one of the more recent issues of People, Ann Curry talks about the time when she was just 26 when two well-dressed soldiers arrived at their family home and in a rote manner informed them of her 23-year-old brother's death while on active duty. She watched how this profound loss impacted her entire family.

"When Gordon died, it made me realized: Every decision I make, how will I feel about it on my last day?" Ann Curry said it has kept her true to her purpose and what she wanted out of life" she didn't want to be the person who at the end says "Gosh, I wish I had."

Then I read this about a Hollywood producer caught in the crossfire of the Rose McGowen/Harvey Weinstein fight when her family said this about her recent suicide-""Jill Messick was a mother of two children, a loving wife, and partner, a dear friend to many and a smart entertainment executive. She was also a survivor, privately battling depression which had been her nemesis for years," her family said in a statement. "Today she did not survive. Jill took her own life.

Since 2001, more people have been diagnosed with anxiety and depression. One study discussed the numbers impacted by post-traumatic stress disorder following the September 11, 2001, attacks.https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3386850/ The war on Iraq, unlike the previous wars, brought the war to our nightly television screens through the embedded journalist and camera crew- which made us fear the world we live in. Today, with our high definition televisions it doesn't take much to be impacted by the trauma around us.

A year ago, I had this conversation with the daughter of one of the retiring teachers about the subject of grief and trauma. We both knew this school had seen many tragic losses. She was pursuing her graduate degree. She postulated that many of the teaching staff are 'traumatized by the recent losses at their school.

While it is true that friends will gather for a short period of time to help those who are grieving,it is also true that those same friends leave to get back to their own family life. The worse part about grief is most felt in the second year when the phones and doorbell stop ringing.

I remember hearing about the murder of a family in their Lake Minnetonka/ Excelsior mansion by their highly successful father, husband before taking his own life. Information seem to suggest he was embarrassed by the prospect of his business failing decided to end it all and take his family with him. http://minnesota.cbslocal.com/2016/02/09/lake-minnetonka-murder-suicide-still-weighs-heavy-on-small-town-police/ The emotional pain was felt from the EMT's who responded to the faculty and students at Minnetonka High school where his kids attended. One EMT responded with these words,“It just seemed to be a normal home,” O’Keefe said. “A school bag and clothes lined up for the first day of school. Those are the things that seemed to have a lasting impression, especially on me.”

Here lies the problem. American's overall are not good with grieving. We want to use a 'band-aid' approach to our mental health and move on. We expect our mental health crisis can be resolved with a single trip to the doctor, but It doesn't work that way. After the incidence of trauma, we may need to be on medication to control our anxiety just so we can function in the world we live in. We also may need therapy to help us process the lingering images in our mind.

Our brains, when they are filled with horrible images and the sounds of life-saving equipment, need time to process it. People need trusted listeners who are willing to sit in the muck and mire of their pain and simply listen as they talk about their pain without feeling like they are being judged.

Men need to be aware that counseling and grief groups can benefit them as well and it is okay to acknowledge their hurts.

One mother, in another highly sensationalized loss, said what got her through her pain was being able to write and share her story with those willing to listen to her.

Which is exactly what Griefshare attempts to do in the 13-week group.

Mental health can happen to anyone at any time in their lives.

Yet the stigma of having this diagnosis prevents people from reaching out for help. When they do, many are frustrated by the length of time it takes to get help, if help is available, or even finding a therapist who truly understands their own unique trauma can seem daunting.

I saw a statistic r that suggested those who are affected by unresolved trauma are more likely to develop other life-threatening illnesses down the road. This makes sense because unless we're willing to process our pain, our pain goes underground causing other medical issues. https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/traumaptsdblog/2016/06/15-common-signs-of-unresolved-trauma/

Finally, looks can be deceiving when it comes to people with mental health problems. The person sitting next to you in the church may be there because of their need to seek God's help with whatever emotional pain they're experiencing.

I once heard someone say that the Church isn't a country club, but a hospital filled with emotionally sick people in need of a Savior- a gentle reminder that through Jesus we all can be healed.

In just one more day all eyes will be on the 'little apple' of Minneapolis as people watch the Patriots vs the Eagles foot ball game

Super Sunday isn't February 4th when the Patriots meet the Eagles, but in April when we celebrate the risen Christ!

I heard a statistic recently that, I think, sums up the hazards of overindulgence- the Monday following the Super Bowl has the highest percentage of people calling in sick! What is a fan to do after consuming several pitchers of beer, downing vodka gimlets as their vision gets increasingly blurred through the final quarter of the big game?

I also learned the City of Minneapolis changed temporarily their open drinking policy to allow fans desiring the NFL experience to carry their glasses of beer from event to event along the Nicollet Mall. Now, don't get me wrong because I'm all for people having a good time, especially while celebrating this once in a lifetime event of which they may never see again!

 Yet as shocking, it seems, in a state that has the most inpatient chemical dependency treatment programs, per capita, would give them a license to imbibe while putting others in danger with their boorish behavior.  All one has to do is look at the national statistics of the numbers of deaths caused by other's drunken behavior to see the validity of this point!

This over-indulgence will cause fans to offer their lamebrain excuses for not coming to work this Monday. They may think their employer will see through those excuses,  without realizing that they see through them and deep down know 'you were too drunk to come to work'  If the pattern of missing work on Monday persists, most will investigate further those excuses.

While it may not seem quite as fun, I will be watching this Super bowl 'stone-cold sober.'

"Can I get you anything to drink?" the waitress asked as my eyes stare at the game on the screen overhead.

I looked over before responding, "Just a glass of water will do."

Life is best enjoyed sober because I want to experience all of the joys of this life without the excruciating headaches, the increasing feeling of wanting to throw up the more I consume or the guilt knowing I might have done wrong while in this 'out of control' state. I also hate the thought of spending the coming weeks, months trying to make amends with those I've hurt.

 I'm reminded of the Bible where Jesus is responding to the Samaritan woman standing at the well. “Everyone who drinks of this water will thirst again; but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him shall never thirst, but the water that I will give him will become in him a well of water springing up to eternal life.”

Super Sunday isn't February 4th, but Super Sunday is April 1st when we celebrate the risen Christ, God's gift of salvation to the world in search of redemption!

So who am I rooting for? 

Since I heard that we have a local kid playing for the Eagles, who is the nephew of a friend who just happened to be my discipleship leader when I was involved in a Christian based college ministry, I will be rooting for the Eagles.

But, I will be watching 'stone-cold sober.'

What I thought was a simple hostage situation at the Graduate hotel was about a grieving dad missing his 19-year-old daughter

American's, in general, are not really good at grieving or how to support those suffering from the losses of losing a child. I learned that not only from my grief journey but from listening to the stories of other bereaved parents.

While listening to the news yesterday on my way to work, I heard reports about a hostage situation currently happening at the Graduate Hotel on the University of Minnesota campus. I admit my first reaction of wondering since this was Super Bowl week if this wasn't some terroristic act and soon Isis would take responsibility for.

It wasn't until the following day when I opened up the Minneapolis StarTribune newspaper and scrolled further down the article where I read these words, 'about 10 hours into the showdown with police, Bowman posted on Facebook about the 2014 suicide of his 19-year-old daughter, writing, "I miss her soooo much".  As I read those words, I could feel the breaking heart of this emotionally wounded dad. In this same article was the explanation of why this happened- she had been cyberbullied. Doesn't it seem the news is never quite like it appears unless you search deeper? 

The words of this dad echo the words of other dad's suffering from such a loss. 

Granted, most will not take a hostage and become holed up in a hotel room, but the human mind after such a loss doesn't function as normally as it did before the loss. Which is why grief experts recommend putting off major life decisions following such a loss and seeking help to help you understand the emotional wranglings of this grief process.

For most people who are not able to wrap their heads around such a loss, I can tell you that this type of loss is an unnatural death because it isn't the order of things we expect in this life. 

Parents, after all, are supposed to be buried by their children many years in the future when they are old and their children are grown and emotionally able to handle their loss. 

Yet, when it does happen, it sends parents into a wild frenzy of intense emotions not understood by them, or others around them. It sends parents into isolation when friends they thought would support them when the loss occurs pull away not wanting the same 'bad luck' to happen to them. 

For many parents who find themselves in this crushing bind, they try to rush their grief by working too hard, burying their pain with hard liquor or drugs, or both while not realizing this would only cause their downward spiral into an unknown world of depression and anxiety- one more additional thing that needs to be treated through caring professionals. 

If we are to understand the mom's and dad's out there crushed with this type of loss, we must learn to walk in their shoes and walk patiently side by side them actively listening to their inner groanings, one emotion at a time while avoiding making nonsensible statements like, ' just stay busy and you will get over it'.

The man who was holed up in the University of Minnesota hotel was a grieving dad who was able to be compassionately helped by local law enforcement who discovered in a social media account how intense were his emotions in the aftermath of the loss of his daughter.

  For anyone still hurting from the loss of a child I encourage you to find a Griefshare support group near you. www.griefshare.org