Addiction to anger, throw people under the bus versus developing a love for people by finding out ways to help them grow

1 Corinthians13:4-7 how our anger can be tempered as we practice these words: 4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts always hopes, always perseveres.

I struggle with watching this political season unfold because it, unfortunately, brings out the worse in people; especially people addicted to anger. If one were to step back and take a candid look at their lives from God's vantage point (after all He sees everything) I think one will notice that this wasn't the first time their anger was displayed. 

For many of us, our anger becomes a learned lifestyle. that leaves victims in its wake. It is as though we are driving a car with a plow on the end hitting every person on the road and looking in the rear view mirror and sarcastically laughing at the  bodies left in their wake.   Our unchecked anger can have serious repercussions on our health.

One researcher found that Emotions such as anger and hostility ramp up your "fight or flight” response. When that happens, stress hormones, including adrenaline and cortisol, speed up your heart rate and breathing.You get a burst of energy. Your blood vessels tighten. Your blood pressure soars.
You’re ready to run for your life or fight an enemy. If this happens often, it causes wear and tear on your artery walls. This is fine if you are fighting, but what if this fight or flight response occurs in everyday 'normal' situations?


In another study, they found long-term damaging effects from anger:In the long run, and sometimes even the short term, however, this automatic response to anger can weaken your immune system and lead to a variety of health problems such as:

Headaches
Problems with digestion
Insomnia
Increased anxiety
Depression
High blood pressure
Skin problems, such as eczema
Heart attack
Stroke

Toxic emotions can have devastating effects on people in the long run. This link offers up ways that will help you process those emotions so anger doesn't get the best of you.http://www.huffingtonpost.com/dr-cynthia-thaik/emotional-wellness_b_4612392.html

In another study, this researcher found the following: Anger can shorten your life. Is it really true that happy people live longer? “Stress is very tightly linked to general health. If you're stressed and angry, you'll shorten your lifespan,” says Fristad. A University of Michigan study done over a 17-year period found that couples who hold in their anger have a shorter life span than those who readily say when they're mad.

Another researcher offers these steps to help you change your response to anger:Change the thoughts, physical responses, and actions that fuel your anger. Look for warning signs that your anger is building. Do you feel tense? Are you talking louder and faster? When you feel anger   taking over, calm yourself by:

t
talking slowly

slowing your breathing 

getting a drink of water
sitting down
leaning back
quieting yourself. Silence is golden in these situations.


Probably there is no greater example of our anger response than when we enter a tragic loss. Our bodies go into the 'fight or flight ' response where the cortisone levels increase and stay elevated; this alone will cause irreparable damage to our heart and our immune system if we do not process  those emotions.

 Regardless of how our loved one dies, we have to successfully navigate our own grief, or we will likely see a much shorter lifespan than what was projected for us before our loss.

I am reminded of 1 Corinthians13:4-7 how our anger can be tempered as we practice these words: 4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts always hopes, always perseveres.

Anger isn't completely wrong. Sometimes, our anger can propel us to take on a cause, spur us into action, or rally support for our candidate, but if  we allow anger to take root in our hearts to keep us in the 'fight or flight' response that can be deadly for us.

Jesus really does have a better way at helping us recover from grief.

The Wounded Warrior, A survival guide for when you are beat up, beat up or battle Weary-'Fellow soldiers, or to paraphrase, why we need each other.

Matthew 18:20-21

20 For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.”

In Dr. Steven Stephens chapter on 'fellow soldier, I must confess something up front; I had the tendency to isolate from others when this tragedy happened. As I read this next chapter, I understood why this tendency, which is not a healthy response, still is the response for most men inflicted with  emotional/physical wounds.

This chapter begins with the bold caption, Never knew Paul.  Paul was  someone who owned a little deli next door to his office and served one of the best pastrami sandwiches he had ever eaten in his life and each time he went in he would chat with him about each of their kids. They were friendly, but never really talked deeply.

 The last time he saw Paul he told him that life was tough; his deli was losing money and things weren't going well at home. He said to Dr. Steve, " I ought to make an appointment and talk with you about some things that are really bothering me." Paul never called. One day he dropped into his deli and when he asked "where's Paul" one  young lady behind the deli counter said, " Oh you haven't heard? Paul shot himself last night. He died instantly."

 Dr. Stephens began asking those nagging 'why questions'; "why didn't he talk to someone?' After contemplating those thoughts, he described  Paul as like most of us guys; we smile, work hard, and pretend that everything is Okay, even if everything is falling apart on the inside.

As guys, we are not good at reaching out or noticing when someone else is reaching out. We tend to keep to ourselves, we retreat, we stay late at work, we sit hypnotized by the television, we become obsessed by sports, we go to the garage, we take a drive, we dive into projects. 

Dr Stephens describes those things as unconscious ways of isolating from others. As one man said to Dr Stephens, " isolation is totally comfortable  to me."

He found that there are 10 reasons that men isolate themselves:

1. We are angry or disappointed because people don't meet our expectations.

2. We don't know how to reach out and we would feel foolish asking for help.

3. We feel inadequate because we don't believe it's acceptable for men to be wounded.

4.We are in crisis, and we believe we must deal with it ourselves.

5.We have seen that people can be dangerous and feel we must protect ourselves.

6. We have experienced failure of trust and we're suspicious.

7. We must cover up sin or failure because we're embarrassed.

8. We don't know what to do, but we don't want to bother others with our problems.

9. We are stressed, overwhelmed, or confused, but we think if we just give it enough time we can figure it out or it will just go away.

10. We feel we can't risk exposure because we  fear rejection or loss of respect.

/He found that too many men report that they have no close friends whom they can truly trust. They have acquaintances, neighbors or colleagues, but no other guy who will stand with them no matter what. 

They have no one who would take a bullet for them or watch their back.

Life is tough, but life without friends is merciless.

When we are wounded we feel disconnected from people. Though we secretly yearn for people, we don't feel safe with them. We're afraid they will hurt us more.
Yet, people contact is crucial to our healing and health. 

To grow we need to trust again by reaching out to others and allowing them to reach out to us.

Here are some reasons why we need people:

1. Keeping us company. "Loneliness," wrote Norman Vincent Peale, " lurks in the shadows of adversity." Ironically, when we are wounded we may build walls, keeping others at a distance-- even when we yearn with all of our hearts for their company.

2, We need people to help us grow and stretch ourselves.

3. We need people who will share our hopes, fears and tears.

4.  We need people to laugh with when life gets too serious and grim.
5.  We need people to love and accept us so that we might learn to love and accept ourselves.
6.  We need people to pull us out of hiding, that we might stand in the sunshine.
7. We need company when we're been wounded, but it needs to be healthy company. If we're more aware of the risk of harm than we are of our  help from people, it opens us up to the possibility of further wounding. As wounded warriors, we may become overprotective of our feelings.

When we're been wounded we must find safe friends who....

1. Don't shock easily.
2. Don't give unwanted advice.
3. Remind us of our strengths.
4. Believe we can make it through difficult times.
5. Accept our weaknesses.
6, Respect our courage and sense of determination.
7. Try to understand our feelings.
8. Pray with us and for us.

For those who are scared about reaching out here are a few suggestions:

1. Recognize your need. When life is most difficult , you need people the most.
2. Take a risk.  It may feel awkward and challenging... but you need to reach out.
3. Call an old friend. Call one of them even if you haven't spoken for a while.
4. Get involved. Find a cause, a church, a class, a club or a committee where you'll be in regular contact with others.
5. Volunteer. Get out and help others. Be active, be social. As you surround yourselves with others you will feel better.
6.Reduce isolating activities. Stop spending so much time on isolating activities , such as TV, computers, and video games. Force yourself out of the house.
7. Don't let yourself fall into self-pity.
8. Ask God for direction.

When we are too close to our pain and problems, we frequently can't find a way out--even if it's right in front of us.We need someone with a more objective perspective or greater life experience to come alongside us and lead us to a better place.

Keep in mind: Right now you may be the one needing encouragement, but tomorrow you may be the one offering a helping hand. If you won't let anyone pull you up, how will you have the emotional footing to help the next man?

Every man needs a life coach! A skilled guide can help you ...
1.build communication skills
2. Solve problems.
3. Improve relationships.
4. Set goals.
5. Challenge negative thinking.
6. Identify self-destructive problems.
7, Nurture spiritual growth.
8. Promote maturity.
9. Celebrate personal strengths and potential.
10. Strengthen character.

" If our lives went perfectly then we might become so self-sufficient and independent that we wouldn't need others.",, Dr. Stephens writes. 

 Chuck Swindoll reminds us that tucked away in a quiet corner of every life are wounds and scars. If they were not there, we would need no physician. Nor would we need one another.

In my next blog, I will reflect on the next chapter of Dr. Stephen's book entitled 'Self-inflicted wounds.'

The physical and emotional presence of pain- My reflections of C.S. Lewis 'A grief observed'

27 To them God has chosen to make known among the Gentiles the glorious riches of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory.

C.S. Lewis writes this about grief: Grief is like a bomber circling round and dropping its bombs each time the circle brings it overhead; physical pain is like the steady barrage on a trench in World War One, hours of it with no let-up for a moment. Thought is never static; pain often is.

Scene 1. Heavy fighting on the front line where men and woman are under heavy attack from above and before them. The sounds of heavy artillery can be heard in every direction.

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
2 He makes me lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside still waters.[a]

"May day, may day, We're being attacked all around us!", Paul screams into his military phone, Paul is dirty, thirsty and hungry as he crouches in the man-made trench with the rest of his fellow soldiers. Not only did they have concerns for the enemy soldiers ahead of them, but they were mindful of the enemy planes dropping bombs all around.

  

He restores my soul.
He leads me in paths of righteousness[b]
for his name's sake.

A sound of a loud explosion not far from where Paul laid on his stomach with his gun blasting a barrage of bullets ahead of him. The ground shook with each bomb.  The physical pain of being in this trench, without knowing when you might take the hit, was, at times, too much for him that made him think of simpler times when mom and dad were reading a bed time story when he was five. A tear drop formed at the corner of his eye with that passing thought

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,[c]
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.

The scene switches back to the trenches. Paul screams instructions to his unit. To the man injured on his left, he shouts instructions to his unit medic to help him. Bombs are dropping at a fast rate from above. The sound of machine-gun fire while bullets are flying past their helmets. Some hit their target while others do not. A momentary thought of his 5th birthday party in the home of his youth with family members, no longer with him, singing happy birthday until Paul shook his head back to the reality of the battle before him.

You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies;
you anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.

The scene switches back to the heavy artillery and the sounds of bombs dropping all around them. More instructions are given to his unit, as though his voice gives them hope they will survive this current battle. A bomb hits its designated target, blowing up a few of the men in the process. Panic sets in with some of the guys. One man traumatized at the sight of his dismembered friend and soldier shakes visibly as he screams out his name. Paul screams instruction to his unit chaplain to get him out of harms way before he gets hit. 

6 Surely goodness and mercy[e] shall follow me
all the days of my life,
and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord
forever.

In the minds of men, woman and children everywhere, grief lingers on in flashbacks, nightmares about the day or night their loved died. Many reflect on the thought they will never see their loved one in this life again without the corresponding picture of the beautiful homecoming in heaven.Whatever pain you may have in this present life, Jesus promises to restore each of us at a timetable that is unique for you. 

Then one day when your purpose is finished on this earth and your final breath is taken, you will take your first breath in a place that some refer to as a smorgasbord of the senses while surrounded by the saints who went before you and a hug from the Savior with the words, "well done, my good and faithful servant!"

C.S Lewis, A Grief observed

17 Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. 2 Corinthians 3:17

In my latest trip to the Bibles for Missions thrift store where I dropped off more stuff from our 'decluttering', I decided to park my car and go in and browse the stores for little gems.I made a full circle of this store where I saw to my delight the metal file cabinet proudly taking up space with the little price tag  we recently donated. Then I saw what I knew had to be God leading me to it. It was a little C.S. Lewis book, A Grief Observed, a book often quoted by authors I've read on the subject of grief. The sticker price of 79 cents was the clincher for, except I knew I had to buy one more item to make writing a check worthwhile. Sigh. So I looked. So I browse until I found a second book worth reading. I gladly handed the clerk a check for  dollar ninety one cents and the course of doing so she glanced at the title whereas I had a chance to share my 'Maria' story, a story that is more than the loss of a child, but a story that shares God's amazing grace and his step by step walking with each of us through the valley of the shadow of death until we were able to see God's beauty and absolute joy.

That evening, after helping my beautiful bride declutter what will be the garden guest room, I took some time to read a few excerpts of this book. Like a kid in a candy store, I gladly inhaled the words of this magnetic writer. It began with these words, "No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear. I am not afraid, but the sensation is like being afraid. The same fluttering in the stomach, the same restlessness, the yawning. I keep swallowing...At other times, it feels like being mildly drunk or concussed. There is a sort of invisible blanket between the world and me. I find it hard to take in what anyone says. Or perhaps hard to want to take it in. It is so uninteresting. Yes, I want the others to be about me. I dread the moments when the house is empty. If only they would talk to one another and not to me."

Amazingly, those poetically penned words of this amazing writer were describing the grief that all of us will eventually face when someone we loved died. 

In another passage were these words, " On the rebound one passes into tears and pathos. Maudlin tears. I almost prefer the moments of agony.These are at least clean and honest.  But the bath of self-pity, the wallow , the loathsome sticky-sweet pleasure of indulging it--disgusts me. And even while I'm doing it I know it leads me to misrepresent H,herself ( H was the letter he used in describing his wife who died from cancer), Give that mood its head and in a few minutes I shall have substituted for the real woman a mere doll to be blubbered over. Thank God the memory of her is still too strong ( will it always be too strong?) to let me get away with it.

And no one ever told me about the laziness of grief.Except at my job--where I the machine seems to run on much as usual-- I loathe the slightest effort. Not only writing but even reading a letter is too much.  Even shaving. What does it matter now whether my cheek is rough or smooth? They ay an unhappy man wants distractions--something to take him out of himself. Only as a dog-tired man wants an extra blanket on a cold night; he'd rather lie there shivering than get up and find one. It's easy  to see why the lonely become untidy;finally, dirty and disgusting.

I stepped out to drink a glass of water before I continued reading.

"Meanwhile, where is God? This is one of the most disquieting symptoms. When you are happy; so happy that you have no sense of needing Him that you are tempted to feel His claims upon you as an interruption, if you remember yourself and turn to him with gratitude and praise, you will be--or so it feels--welcomed with open arms. But go to Him when your need is desperate when all other help  is vain, and what do you find? A door slammed  in your face, and a sound of bolting and double bolting on the inside. After that, silence.  You may as well turn away. The longer you wait, the more emphatic  the silence will become. There are no lights in the windows. It might be an empty house. Was it ever inhabited?   It seemed so once.  And that seeming was as strong as this. What can this mean? Why is He so present a commander in our time of prosperity and so very absent a help in time of trouble?"

Alas, I set this jewel of a book down and reflected on my own journey, a journey that carried me through all the same emotions that C.S :Lewis describes in a grace observed.  As I read I am reminded that it is when we properly allow every tear drop to be processed and every painful memory processed that healing will come until one day you will see that God hadn't abandoned you.

I will likely include other thoughts from this beautiful book by this amazing writer.

Dr. Steven Stephens, 'Wounded Warrior- battle plans (Do you have a plan when bad things happen?)

Show me your ways, Lord,
teach me your paths.
5 Guide me in your truth and teach me,
for you are God my Savior,
and my hope is in you all day long.Psalm 25:5

Every once in a while, I find a book that is worth reading and re-reading. I find Dr. Stephen's style of writing very captivating and engaging on this whole subject of understanding male grief. As a result, I will be writing on my takeaway on this subject on this blog. I hope this puts into perspective an understanding that when traumatic grief happens you will know that the men and boys in your life are responding to their grief, not because they are from the planet Pluto, but because they are men.

In this next chapter, Dr. Stephens begins describing one young man, paralyzed in a surfing accident responding to the nurse who said "He was lucky to be alive" with " Why..why can't I feel anything?"Twenty-five years have passed since 'Ron's' accident, but he refuses to give up. Ron speaks across the country, determined to make a difference, touch lives with his story and give hope to hurting hearts. He insists that nothing is wasted in God's plan. Everything works together for good.

Dr. Stephens describes Ron as one of the most positive people he every met. His wounds hurt, but his attitude soars. Ron says, "My ministry is bout changed attitudes and changed lives."

Dr/ Stephens offers up this quote from Dale Galloway, " In the final analysis, it is your attitude that will make or break you, not what has happened to you. When we are severely wounded, any mention of "positive attitude seems forced and shallow. Dr. Stephens describes negativity as a whirlpool that can easily pull you into it's vortex and drown you in its darkness. The following are some basic facts about negativity:

1. Negativity comes naturally. It's a reflex reaction to pain. The more extensive our wounds, the stronger and more long lasting our negative mindset will be.

2. Negativity makes us feel worse.It can intensify our pain and can trap us in the dark hole od depression.

3.Negativity pushes people away. Most people steer clear of those who are consistently downbeat, negative or cynical. It distances us from the people we need the most.

4. Negativity keeps us from healing. When we think positively, we search for help and focus on hope. But, negativity keeps us focused on our wounds. It exaggerates our pain.

He offers up this quote from James Means who wrote Courage in Crisis, " The very fire that blackens my horizons warms my soul. The darkness that oppresses my mind sharpens my vision.The flood that overwhelms my heart quenches my thirst. The thorns that penetrate my flesh strengthens my spirit. The grave that buries my desires deepens my devotion."

Finding a positive in the midst of the firefight gives us hope.

Dr.Stephens describes the intentionality of finding the positive.by describing the need of putting our battle plans into action. Successful soldiers know that battles are frequently lost or won in the mind. Although we cannot control our past wounds or our current circumstances or the people around us, we can control our attitude. Dr. Stephens describes the difference between negative versus positive self-talk:

Negative Self-talk:                                                        Positive Self Talk:
1. God is punishment                                                    1.God Loves me
2, I deserve this                                                              2.With God all things are possible
3. Life is unfair                                                              3. God wants the best for me
4. I hate myself                                                              4. God will strengthen me
5.Nothing ever changes                                                 5.This world is temporary
6.I am trapped                                                                6.I am never trapped
7.There is no hope                                                          7.I can be content regardless of circumstances

The earlier life of the famous author who penned Out of Africa and Winter Tales was filled with deep wounds when her father committed suicide when she was ten, her husband was continuously unfaithful and gave her syphilis which had no cure at the time,and they were divorced after 11 years and the next man she was married to was killed in a plane crash. In her quote, she writes," I think these difficult times have helped me to understand better than before how infinitely rich and beautiful life is in every way,"

PURSUE OPTIMISM: Actively seek what is good and positive, chase it down, don't let it escape.  An optimist is someone who embraces the following practices:

1.See the best.  We look for the good in every person we meet and every situation we face.
2.Believe the best:  If we anticipate the best, there's a chance it will happen. We are reminded that this is the core of our faith. In a quote by Pamela Reeves, " Faith is...reliance on the certainty that God has a pattern for my life when everything becomes meaningless."
3. Choose the best: Our contentment is not determined by our circumstances; it is decided by our choices. A lot of men make poor choices-- to be angry, bitter, retaliatory, unhappy or negative. If we do not intentionally choose to be optimistic, we will get left with the worst.
4. Live the best: This means walking in faith and trusting God. Living close to God is life at its best. In a quote from Mary Gardiner Brainerd, " I would rather walk with God in the dark than go alone in the light."
5. Thank God for Growth: Learned in the midst of Mother Theresa's pain and suffering said, "The best way to show my gratitude to God is to accept everything even my problems with joy."
It is through our wounds that we grow. Thanking God for them moves us forward and brightens our perspective. An optimist learned the joy of thankfulness. He doesn;t ignore the difficulties;h e just looks beyond them to see the mighty hand of God.

Finally, he describes the excruciating brutality that Nicolaie Moldova, a poet, and composer received in the Russian prison system.
" Lie on your belly," a guard yelled to Nicolaie.
The prisoner dropped to the icy cold floor, knowing the torture would be excruciating; yet Nicolaie had a plan as the guards walked on his back for the next hour.When his punishment ended, his fellow prisoners rushed to his side, deeply concerned while Nicolaie raised his head, " I have written a new hymn  while I was walked upon.. Then he began to sing, "May I not only speak about future heavens but let me have heaven and a holy feast here."

Dr. Stephens ends with this affirmation: God wants to give us a new song, too. All we have to do is be willing to sing it

The Wounded Warrior, Dr. Steven Stephens, Head Hung Low

Psalm 38:4-5New Living Translation (NLT)

4 My guilt overwhelms me—

it is a burden too heavy to bear.

5 My wounds fester and stink

Because of my foolish sins.

For many of us, we spend our lifetime trying to bury our pain. We all have memories from our past that haunt us.

 These are the wounds we try to hide behind new cars, tough talk, bright smiles, hard work, and good deeds- anything to avoid being exposed.  Why is it we spend more time tending to the ailments of our physical bodies than we do with our minds?  Our American culture teaches us that pain and suffering are something to be ashamed of and must be buried deep in the inner vaults of our minds. We find the thought of seeing a therapist an admission that we are too weak to handle life's problems. On the contrary, a real man is someone who isn't afraid to share what is on his mind.

 Unless we face our wounds, according to Dr.Stephens, our wounds can become shame based.

SHAME'S TALK                                                                          GOD'S ANSWER
I am damaged                                                            I will heal you
I am dirty                                                                   I will wash you whiter than snow
I am incompetent                                                      I will teach you all you  need to know
I am stupid                                                                 I will fill you with wisdom
I am unwanted                                                           I made you
I am weak                                                                   In your weakness I am made strong
I am hopeless                                                              I will give you hope
I am unloveable                                                          I sent my Son to die for you.
I am  nothing                                                               You are my child                                        I am worthless                                                                      You are precious

Dr. Stephns presents five basic truths toward which shame points us. Shame is
1. a symptom   indicating something is wrong.
2. a recognition of our limitations
3. a reminder that we are flawed
4. a defense against pride
5. a chance to better understand our wounds.

Dr. Stephans reminds us that "readjusting our perspective using these truth based lines of thinking allows our shame to become redemptive, rather than destructive. God's grace is ultimately the best cure for debilitating shame, for it takes away the two things that give shame it's power- rejection and abandonment.

No matter how painful something is, we must face it.

Ignoring a wound does not make it go way. Robert C. Larson wrote, "unfriendly ghosts from your past may never disappear entirely. They can return to haunt you at a moment's notice. The key is to keep meeting these apparitions head on.

Stare straight ahead into the dark eyes of your wounds- remembering the situations, experiencing the feelings, dealing directly with the guilt and shame.

In Healing our Memories, David Simonds writes, "The harder we try to keep bad memories out of our conscious recall, the more powerful they become. Since they are not allowed to enter through the private door of our minds directly, they come into our personalities, ( body, mind and spirit) in disguised destructive ways."     Drugs, alcohol, promiscuity,work-alcoholism,isolationism loss of motivation, avoidance of relationships are just some of the destructive patterns that can happen if we attempt to avoid the realities of our pain.      

 The bottom line is this: we have to learn to talk about our feelings, our pain and take risks to allow others into our inner circle who will listen to us. If we avoid doing this and continue constructing walls around us to protect our fragile ego from getting hurt, we run the risk of far deeper pain that will eventually impact the body with life-threatening illnesses and other diseases.

God's promises to anyone experiencing trauma is that he will never waste your pain, but will use it for good to help others just entering their painful experiences in life.

 Like a loving parent, God wants to have a personal relationship with you. He understands what you are going through because he is a God that is bigger than your pain, stronger than your festive wounds and compassionate enough to walk with you through journey's end.

     

Our Military paid a heavy price to ensure everyone the right to vote.

John 3:16New International Version (NIV)
16 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life

Yesterday, I heard from several well-known politicians that they would not support a Donald Trump nomination, even when he garnished the majority of votes. I am reminded of the adage, a house divided cannot stand. 

For over 20 years I served as an election judge. I've experienced watching people from other cultures voting for the first time and watching their smiles when their vote has been cast. I've watched thousands as they voted for the man who would soon shock the world to become governor of Minnesota. 

Voting is a rite of passage for many people. For a young person, voting says to the world that I am no longer a child, but an adult able to make my decisions in the political process and who I believe should run the country.

 For still others, voting is an emotional thing because wherever they immigrated from they were not afforded that opportunity. Some experienced tragic losses when family members were taken in the night never to return. Still others were thrown into dungeons where tortured awaits them because of their particular beliefs they held.

America is truly a melting pot made up of all nationalities, creeds, and religions. It is one of the rare countries where a person has the freedom to worship without fear of retaliation or death. Those freedoms are ingrained in the United States Constitution, a document that some nations could only dream of having while other more repressive regime's wish they could destroy.

In every major war, America has fought there have been braved soldiers of all religious backgrounds fighting side by side for the cause of protecting those precious freedoms. Many of those brave men and women died in battle protecting those freedoms that some of us take for granted.

To better understand those sacrifices pretend you are in the shoes of a young man or woman giving your mom and dad a warm embrace before stepping onto the Jefferson Lines bus not knowing if and when you would see them again. 

For some, that hug you gave mom and dad may be the last one they would ever receive from you.  Some may come back from war with traumatic experiences they cannot get out of their mind. Some may come back to the sounds of taps. In the back of your mind, you wonder if you would ever live to see your parents, your wife, your husband or your children again. Your eyes are dripping wet from seeing the sadness in your loved one's eyes as your bus pulls away.

Pretend you are in the shoes of that sad wide eye child who is sniffling so bad that they get the hiccups because you know that mom or dad are leaving you for the cause of freedom which you are too little to understand. In your mind, you just know you won't have your mom or dad to hug or read bed time stories to you.

Pretend for a moment you are the spouse who watches as two soldiers stand at the end of your driveway making their way to your front door with gloved hands and formal military dress. As soon as they said those words," The Secretary of Defense regrets to inform you" you feel shockwaves going through your entire body as the reality of your son's, daughter's wife, Husband's death is announced. You collapse on the driveway in heavy sobs. 

Alas, our military men and woman and their families have paid a heavy sacrifice just so our freedoms can be protected and so we can cast our vote.   The image that best captures the essence of those men and women is the Viet Nam memorial where the deceased soldiers are looking back at the one who survive the war. Each is a reminder of those sacrifices.

 We cannot excuse ourselves from the political process simply because we don't like the person running. We honor those deceased men and woman by voting on election day because it was their sacrifice that preserves the freedom to participate in the political process.

We live in the greatest country in all the world. Repressive regimes are intensely jealous of our form of government. They would like to see us fall. Weaker economies around the world are thankful for being able to manufacture American products so their people can  work and support their families.

Our American form of government is more than just the man in the White House. It is form of government made up of checks and balances. It is the reason why America will always be the greatest nation in all the earth.

When life takes a detour

“Now behold, today I am going the way of all the earth, and you know in all your hearts and in all your souls that not one word of all the good words which the Lord your God spoke concerning you has failed; all have been fulfilled for you, not one of them has failed. Joshua 23:14

Hey, kids! Daddy has tickets to Disney World!

 It wasn't so much about the destination, but it was the journey that brought all of us closer as a family.

 If we're taking the high road we're going to places like Disney world, Universal studios, or far away places like England, Cancun,or the Orient.

 We're enjoying passing each mile marker, enjoying the scenery  and watching for  signs for our destinations We're laughing, listening to silly songs on the radio, telling jokes and making each other laugh.

If we're taking the low road, we're going to fun destinations near, like the lake shore, Blackhills, or Red Wing, Yellowstone. You get the picture.

. Life is good until  we see a detour sign up ahead and then, the flashing sign that reads 'your father just died' or'Your child is very sick'. You take the less travel road, chosen for you, not  knowing when you would enjoy the expressway again.

This road is not filled with smiles, or laughter, or listening to silly songs on the radio. From a kid's standpoint, it  is seeing the sad, forlorn expressions on their mom and dad's faces and wondering why they had to stop having fun and making them laugh?

From the viewpoint of  dad, it is looking over at his wife, his bride and wondering why she is grieving so differently from him? His wife wonders why her husband grives so differently from her and why he spends so much time at work or dwelling on negative emotions?

There is good news for those who suffer. God promises to bring you through the suffering.He promises to restore what you were prior to taking the detour so you will once again be singing silly songs, making others laugh and enjoying the scenic journey on the expressway of life.

  Learn to trust God that he knows what he is doing with your particular journey while placing one foot in front of the other holding on to His promises. He will never fail you!