In the last 3 weeks my eyes have opened up to a new wave of homelessness in our city

‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers,[a] you did it to me.’ Matthew 25:40

Have we become such cold and heartless creatures that we are blinded by the suffering of so many in our world? Have we fallen into the trap that believes that homeless people are only trying to manipulate us? I know one person who made a comment that a person uses a cane is only doing so to get benefits.

In the last 3 weeks in different parts of the city, my eyes were opened to the homeless problem. In one affluent northwestern suburb sat a family of 4 kids as one parent took turns holding a sign that said, 'please help'. In this one situation, the dad was playing with his children on the blanket beneath a shade tree. Where they sat you could see Nordstrom Rack and across the street the AMC movie theaters.

In another part of the city, I saw another homeless family. Like the first one, this family was also disheveled. The 3 kids in this situation were all playing amongst themselves with their dad as mom held a sign, 'please help-we're homeless.' My heart broke.

In still another part of the city, I saw yet another family sitting under a shade tree. As their kids played together each of their parents took turns holding a sign, 'please help- we're homeless'.

I remember years ago, Mary Jo Copeland tried to get various suburbs to approve her plans to build a homeless shelter. One by one each of these cities voted her down when overwhelmingly people said, 'not in my city.' Fortunately, she was persistent until the City of Minneapolis gave approval to what is known as 'Mary Jo's Place'.https://sharingandcaringhands.org/marys-place. This is a mere drop in the bucket until the problem of sustainable and affordable housing is addressed.

Unfortunately, many suburban cities aren't addressing this problem. Many would rather utter 'not in my city' with hopes the problem would go away.

Not everyone is living the American dream. Not everyone is receiving generous inheritances from their parents or grandparents. We seem to have this false sense of belief that if you can be successful then why can't they? We forget to see the stories behind their suffering. Stories like when disability forces them out of a job or being so overcome by trauma that they have a hard time maintaining employment. We forget to listen to their story.

I'm reminded of these words from Jesus in Matthew 25:36-40:

36 I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.’ 37 Then the righteous will answer him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? 38 And when did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you? 39 And when did we see you sick or in prison and visit you?’ 40 And the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers,[a] you did it to me.’

One of those cities that voted down Mary Jo's idea of building a homeless shelter later approved to allow an NFL team to relocate their training headquarters.http://www.startribune.com/mary-jo-copeland-selling-site-once-planned-for-orphanage/316060741/

The reality is that unless we address the problem of sustainable and affordable housing the problem of homelessness will only grow.

This past week we said goodbye to a marvelous singer-Aretha Franklin

31 For this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother and shall be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. 32 This mystery is great, but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church. Ephesians 5:31-32

This past week, we lost a music legend when Aretha Franklin died after a battle with pancreatic cancer. The song, I'll say a little prayer for you, speaks of every woman's heart desire for the men in their lives.  

Lately, we have been bombarded with bad examples of men as seen through the eyes of the 'me-too' movement and our political figures who seem to be blinded by the reality that their actions have harmed women. 

When women fall in love, they bond to the man. When they marry, two hearts become one.  The leaders of this country, are poor examples we men should follow when it comes to encouraging the woman in our lives. Some married men I know see no reason to not to enjoy a meal with a female colleague alone in the absence of their wife. I disagree with this practice and sure enough, I've watched married men walk away from their marriage vows- leaving bewildered children and wives to needlessly suffer.  Many who have been betrayed become like ships without a rudder trying to navigate through dangerous seas.   From year one of our marriage, I made sure to never be alone with another woman unless my wife was with me. I remember when my wife and I wrote our marriage vows. I made sure to include the phrase 'for better or for worse' in my vow to Linda. 

At the time I wrote this vow, it was becoming increasingly popular to leave that sentence out- in fact, prenuptial agreements were all the rage and a profit-making opportunity for attorneys who were successful  making couples insecure and keep that marriage door slightly ajar 'just in case'- as though couples were in it for the short term until someone better comes along. But I knew that for better or for worse I was going to love my wife through whatever fierce storms came our way.   I was in it for the long haul and so was my wife! Not even the death of a child, sickness, or disability could tear us apart!  

Lyrics: I say a little prayer for you.

Before I put on my makeup

I say a little prayer for you

While combing my hair now,

And wondering what dress to wear now,I say a little prayer for you 

Forever, and ever, you'll stay in my heart and I will love you 

Forever, and ever, we never will partTo live without you

Oh, how I love youTogether, forever, that's how it must be

Would only mean heartbreak for me.

I run for the bus, dear, While riding I think of us, dear,

I say a little prayer for you.

And all through my coffee break-time,

At work I just take time I say a little prayer for you. and I will love you

Forever, and ever, you'll stay in my heart

Oh, how I'll love youForever, and ever we never will part together, forever, that's how it must be, say a little prayer for you

To live without you would only mean heartbreak for me.

TI say a little prayer for you My darling believe me, ( believe me)

For me, there is no one but you!

Please love me too (answer his pray)And I'm in love with you 

(answer his prayer)

Answer my prayer now babe (answer his prayer)

Forever, and ever, you'll stay in my heart forever, and ever we never will part and I will love you

Oh, how I'll love you would only mean heartbreak for me 

(oooooooooh)Together, forever, t

that's how it must be to live without you

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 2 Corinthians 4:16

Every couple of years I sit as an election judge to help make sure our election day process is fair and impartial. Though the days are long and at times tedious and boring, I continue performing this function because I believe in the democratic process that makes our great nation one of the greatest nations to live in.


I must admit though that there are some who lose that hope, but what I saw last night were people who were excited about exercising their right to vote. I saw the mom's accompanying their 18-year-old adult children and witnessing their first time voting experiences and their beaming smiles that they did it. I watched one new voter doing a victory fist in the air the moment the vote counting machine successfully captured their ballot. I watched 'new American's casting their vote and the smiles as they witnessed their vote being counted. I could not help picturing them living in their former countries where groups of dangerous militias kept them from voting.


Like in all the other years, I think we place a false hope in the candidates we elect. We think they're infallible and worse, we place them on a pedestal as though they are a god. Yet, if we do that we resign ourselves to a personal calamity when we learned their candidates personal and professional failing that they are not perfect, nor are they there to assure your own personal happiness.


But our God in heaven, the one who sent his son, Jesus, to die for you, is the one who wants to at the center of your being. 2 Corinthians 4:16 is a reminder that while outwardly we're wasting away ( aging process, effects of cancer, and other diseases) our inward being is being renewed day by day.


This is a poetic reminder that God gives us a reason to live in this world regardless of what challenges we might be facing.


Our politicians are not perfect which means after they are elected we need to consider writing to them about the issues we care about. Politicians, I've learned are especially drawn to the letters that are written from the heart- some that flow out of the personal tragedies of their lives- another reminder that God will not waste your pain.

As the ladies were having their bridal shower, the future father's-in-law went on a history lesson at the William Bunnell home

It's no secret that I'm a huge history buff!  So, when the two future father's in law had to skedaddle once the bridal shower started, we went on a tour of the William Bunnell house east of Winona.  The upstairs of this home taught me something about the impact that grief had on this family. In one of the children's bedroom, there were two boys who died. One drown.   In another room, there were two daughter's who died. One died from complications of diabetes. There was a third daughter that simply disappeared as there didn't seem to be any record of her. 

The period actress who gave us the tour explained that this grief affected William Bunnell so much that when some came over to ask for one of their deceased son's he simply looked down at the floor unable to say anything at all. This was at a time in history that it was very commonplace for parents to lose a child, but I had this sense that the intense feelings associated with this loss were as devastating then as it is now.  

I learned from this history tour that grief is very much a part of life.  Unlike the era of William Bunnell, we have so much more information available to help us with navigating grief when it hits us.

One resource is a 13-week Griefshare group that teaches you how to go through the pain of loss, not around it. I encourage everyone experiencing the pain of grief to go to  https://www.griefshare.org/ and find a group near you.

Life is filled at time with pain that unspeakable, but we have a God who comforts us one step at a time.

In the heart of the south, Indiana to be exact lived a family who made their living as farmers. John and Esther Hartland were the present caretakers of their family’s farm, a tradition which dates back to 1810. Their farm was set on land rich in minerals, suitable for growing soybeans, wheat, and corn. John worked hard at tilling the field and planting the crops each season and then watching their crops grow knowing they were doing their part to feed the world.

What most people didn’t know about the Hartland’s was the tragedy their family faced 20 years ago when little Danny Heartland, just 5 at the time, ran toward John’s tractor when he disappeared when to John’s horror his youngest son laid lifeless on the field behind the tractor.

 John immediately stopped the tractor, climbed down, and ran to his son, but instantly he knew that his youngest child was dead. It seemed just last week when his parents took a very excited but scared Danny to his first day of Kindergarten.and when Danny died the way he did, his father began having nightmares and flashbacks of what might have been different if he only saw it coming.  

The constant wrestling of his thoughts, for a while, made him too incapacitated to do much farming; fortunately, the farming community rallied behind John and helped him keep up with those never-ending farm chores.  When her son Danny died, Esther cried out to God, often times sending John out to buy some additional boxes of tissues whenever she ran out. 

When their youngest child died, the community struggled with what to call this type of loss.  When the Hartland’s next door neighbor lost his wife, they called him a widower.  When the Hartland’s other neighbor lost her husband they called her a widow, but there was no name to attach to a family who lost a child.  It seemed incomprehensible for a family to bury a child; after all, children are supposed to bury their parents, right? 

Despite the conflicting emotions all the Hartley’s were experiencing during this time, they kept on going to church in their little town of Aberdeen, Indiana. Oh, there were lots of mornings when a bad night of  ‘what if’s ‘ made them tired,  but as John told one of his son’s, “ if we stayed home from church because we’re not feeling well, we will likely not get the encouraging word we just might need for today.”

They kept right on going, no matter how they felt from Sunday to Sunday, always clinging onto the promises of God and the good blessings they experienced in the past.  John remembers reading this in the book of Job where this man who had everything lost it all, but despite the horrific tragedy Job encountered he never blamed God.  He was determined, as a loving father and husband to Esther, to work through this tragic loss- and it wasn’t going to be with booze that he sees so many people in his era using to erase their pain. 

John knew that his family needed a dad who didn’t throw in the towel when bad things happen.  He needed to leave a legacy to his children that Jesus is the firm foundation, no matter what happens to them in life.  Losing a child wasn’t an easy road to travel. John knew that.  But each morning he got up to read his bible and journal his wrenching thoughts, John saw the hope that was in those pages. 

Many years later, the son who asked if he could stay home because he didn’t feel like going to church, came over and told his dad that was a pivotal moment in his life because he was angry at God that God would just let his younger brother die,  His son paused before adding, ‘because I saw that my dad wasn’t  quitting, I’m not going to quit.’  Today, his son continues to attend a church nearby him in Indianapolis where he works. 

The moral of the story? God sent his son, Jesus, to die on the cross so you can experience forgiveness of your sins and the refreshing aroma of Jesus walking at your side all the days of your life no matter what happens to you.

Nabeel Qureshi's widow shares the journey she is on in the aftermath of her husband's death from cancer.

It was just a few years ago that the world lost a great ambassador for Christ when Nabeel Qureshi lost his battle with cancer. For most who may not know, Nabeel was befriended by a Christian college student who was able to lead his friend to Christ from the one faith he grew up with which was Muslim. His wife used a phrase that I also used following my loss which was putting one foot in front of the other and trusting Christ that He understands the pain I'm going through. May this message encourage you in whatever grief journey you're going through in this earthly life.

God has not passed you by (David Wilkerson)

No one will be able to stand against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you. Joshua 1:5

Lately, I have a burden for those who are living following the death of spouses through suicide. The pain is incredible wherever suicide occurs. It leaves their survivors waking up and wondering night after endless night 'what just happened to me and will I ever recover from this pain? 

 It is so easy for all of us to think such thoughts of 'why has God forsaken me', or 'why does this pain hurt so much like as though  I have this heavyweight pressing against my chest making it so hard to breathe, night after night. 

Why, oh God, am I swimming in my tears with the resulting wet pillow in the morning. Why did my loved one have to take his or her life? Why, oh Lord do I have this feeling of being forsaken as though I have been abandoned on some island where I alone am left with the memories of my loved one because no one knows how to reach out to me to offer their listening ear, a hug, or simply those words God tries to remind us, ' He will never leave you, nor forsake you.'?

I echo Pastor David Wilkerson's words when he reminds those who are suffering to spend time in God's precious book of life- a book that has timeless treasures of comfort to help you get through the incredible pain of suffering. If I can offer one bit of advice, something I learned in 2007 in the aftermath of my own loss, it would be to put one foot in front of the other and keep on doing the things you did before your loss.  Keep breathing, keep going to Church, keep on seeking out support for yourself to help you go through these days of suffering. In time, at a timetable as unique to the love you had for the person who died, you will recover from this pain because God will never leave you, nor forsake you. You may never be the same you were your loss, but the holy spirit within you will give you a renewed purpose for living.

God truly loves you through the trials and sufferings of this life.