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Monday, December 31, 2018

It's A Wonderful Life - a reason to keep living in the new year.





John 3:16 New International Version (NIV)

16 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.


Like George Bailey, some of us wonder if the world would be better off if we had never been born. The wounds we collect over time will play tricks on the human mind.

Yet, a good way of getting out of this quagmire thinking is to write down all of your blessings on a sheet of paper. For good old George, it was the thought he was helping so many people find a place they could call home through his building and loan.

He discovered that though he might have accumulated far loftier goals earning more money, in the end, it was the thought of helping others live a better life that meant more to him.

George rediscovered his faith in God as being the redeeming virtue that makes life more bearable. To think that Jesus Christ came down to earth more than 2000 years ago to show us the way to true happiness is an overwhelming thought, but true.

Regardless of one's religiosity or worldview, God sent his son to earth so that we all can have salvation and life eternal- and have God's indwelling holy spirit to dwell in each one of us to guide us through the often troubled times of life.

One of our families timeless traditions was to watch 'It's a wonderful life' on new years eve. It reminds each of us how important we mean to God and those around us. 
Just for a moment, substitute the word 'world' for you in the verse above.


For God so loved 
you that he gave his one and only son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

Now that is really good news and worth cheering about in the new year!

Tuesday, December 25, 2018

The story behind 'It is well, it is well with my soul'





Isaiah 41:10 (KJV)

Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.





If you could read only one book a year, I would recommend Timothy Keller's 'Walking with God through pain and suffering'. This is truly a book that teaches you how to do life when pain and sorrow enter within

 If there was ever a modern-day Job  I think it would have to be a man named Horatio Spafford. Horatio Spafford was a very successful lawyer who lost everything in the Chicago fire of 1871.  A few years later, he sent his wife and four daughters on a ship across the Atlantic to England. The ship hit another ship and began to sink. As it was sinking Anna gathered the four girls together to pray.


 The ship went under the waves and all five of them were scattered into the waves.  All 4 girls drowned. His wife Anna was found floating unconscious by a rescue ship. They took her to England where she cabled Horatio Spafford just two words, " Saved alone". You can only imagine the unspeakable grief that he felt after learning that all four of his daughters died.

Horatio decided to travel to England to be with his beloved Anna. As he passed the very spot the ship went down and the site his daughter's drowned Horatio penned these words of this now famous hymn.



When peace like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll
Whatever my lot, thou hast taught me to say


It is well, it is well, with my soul
It is well
With my soul
It is well, it is well with my soul


Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul
It is well (it is well)


With my soul (with my soul)
It is well, it is well with my soul
My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought
My sin, not in part but the whole
Is nailed…

As Horatio Spafford grieved for his daughters, he continued to cling to God's promises in the bible.  His hope for the Lord and one day seeing his daughters again gave him a peace that he would survive this pain. 


Out of his personal tragedy came a song that is sung in congregations across the globe. 

This song continues to inspire future generations of people entering their own deep forlorn sorrow.  





Monday, December 24, 2018

From a humble birth in a cavern manger to a humiliating death on the cross our greatest gift came after Jesus death and resurrection.




14 “Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God[a]; believe also in me. 2 My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you?3 And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. 4 You know the way to the place where I am going.”



Christmas time can be a time of numerous triggers.

Loved ones we use to spend time with no longer with us. Nieces and nephews killed tragically in car accidents or medical procedures went wrong who no longer bring fits of laughter into our lives.

As a child, I remember thinking that it was my responsibility to make my parents smile when sorrow overwhelms their soul.

At a small Methodist church in Warren, Minnesota, a weepy pianist had to choke back tears when she told the congregation that two teenagers were killed on the roadways around Warren- at a time that is supposed to be a happy time. For those families, those future Christmas's will be filled trying to understand why God would punish them by 'taking' their loved one.

The death of a loved one in our Western civilization is said to be the number one reason why so many people convert to atheism- after all if God truly is a good God he wouldn't have taken our precious child. Instead of allowing God to walk with us in our pain and suffering we try to bury our grief deep below the ground in hopes the pain would never resurface. .

God's beautiful love story between Genesis and Revelation teaches us that he truly understands what it means to suffer. From his humble birth in a cavern manger when they could not find any room at an Inn to his humiliating death on the cross, God chose to understand the suffering that mankind faces with each loss.

I am also reminded of the words of Jesus in John 14,"25 “I have told you this while I’m still with you. 26 However, the helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you everything. He will remind you of everything that I have ever told you.

God'sgreatestgift came after the loss of his son when he promised to send us the gift of the holy spirit to dwell in all believers to help and guide them all of life's turmoil.

Hence, this song is a perfect reflection of God's love for mankind, and a promise that no matter what happens to you in life that God will never forsake or abandon you.

Let us all have a very Merry Christmas as we celebrate the greatest gift of all- the birth of his Son.










Wednesday, December 5, 2018

It is never too late to begin processing the emotions of your loss- even if it was a loss that occurred in 1962



Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I entrust my life.

 Someone asked if I heard about the news report of a brother who adopted a highway in honor of his deceased brother. I said I hadn't.  This person described the moment he brought his mom to the location of this sign.  As soon as she saw her deceased son's name on that sign her grieving began.

Her son died in 1962 when he was hit by a car trying to cross the street. That was over 50 years ago.  When I read the story of George H.W. and Barbara Bush who lost their 3-year-old daughter, Robin, from childhood leukemia the unwritten expectation for many at that time was to silently suffer without showing the world the inner pain you're in. 

Grief is a journey. A journey that requires one to face all of the emotions of loss, as though you're standing in the ocean watching each wave of emotion passing over your feet, one wave at a time until that emotion passes.

Yet, there are many in our western culture who are needlessly suffering after a tragic loss because of this unwritten rule they must bury their emotions from that loss and pretend it doesn't hurt.

 For some, the loss of someone dear to them becomes the existential question they must answer: if God exists why would he allow bad things to happen to good people? This is probably the single most question that determines the course they will take for the duration of their life. 

 Do they reject the all-knowing God and pretend He doesn't exist or do they embrace God by remaining plugged into a local church while working on all of the emotions associated with their pain? Both are choices the person has to make.

 My observations of watching people remind me that the ramifications of rejecting God will only lead to anger, addictions, physical problems with health and early death.

As I began processing my emotions following our loss, we made the conscious decision to continue to worship at the same church we did when our loved one was still alive. It was hard, I must admit, to sit in the sanctuary in those beginning days while watching those around us seeming so happy.

To watch others bellow out the praise and worship songs while we were in the cataclysmic of our grief was hard; yet, when we chose to follow God by reading his love letter to us and remaining plugged into a local church- always going regardless of what we're feeling at the moment- we saw some amazing things take place. I saw a son who wasn't going to quit because he saw his dad not quitting his faith.  

We saw our adult Sunday school class grow closer together, learning ways they can help those who are suffering.  

We heard this concept as last nights Grief share: God has a purpose for our pain, good things will come out of our losses if we're willing to process all of the messy emotions of whatever loss we're experiencing. 

So if I can offer any suggestions of what to do after a loss, these are the suggestions I would give: (1) stay plugged into a local Church, (2) get into a Bible study where you can continue to receive the word of God, (3) find a grief share group near you to teach you how to go through the pain, not around it.  Lastly, remember that God sacrificed his own son, Jesus Christ on the cross so Jesus can reign in your heart through the good times and not so good times of your life

 The mom who recently started grieving the loss of her son in 1962 did a good thing beginning o process the messy emotions of her loss. It is never too late.

God truly does love you and wants you to recover from the pain of your loss. If you are looking for a grief share group to get involved in after the holidays simply go to Griefshare through this link and find a group near you.  https://www.griefshare.org

Sunday, December 2, 2018

George H.W. Bush and Barbara Bush were members of the club no one wants to belong to- the club of parents who lost a child.


Brothers and sisters, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope. 1 Thessalonians 4:13





Early Saturday morning I saw the headline: George H W Bush dead at 94. Just months previous to that his wife Barbra died. George H Bush had a distinguished military career enlisting in the United States Navy at the age of 18 and becoming the youngest Aviator in Navy history. His list of accomplishments is too numerous to mention in this blog.


 What many may not know about the Bush family is that they became members of the club no one wants to belong to when their young daughter Robin died from childhood leukemia.

In the Washington Post article published shortly after Barbara's passing was this headline: ‘One last time’: Barbara Bush had already faced a death more painful than her own 

When their 3-year-old daughter was complaining of being tired she took her to their family physician. A few days later the Bushes received the news no family wanted to hear- that little Robin had childhood leukemia. The complaint had been fatigue; the prescription was to take their child home to die.“Her advice was to tell no one, go home, forget that Robin was sick, make her as comfortable as we could, love her — and let her gently slip away,” Bush wrote in her 1994 memoir. “She said this would happen very quickly.”



The day after receiving the bad news, the Bushes flew to Manhatten to stay with the grandparents. George H's father was a medical doctor who worked at the Sloan-Kettering cancer research hospital, a leading cancer center even when cancer was barely understood and nearly taboo to mention.

 Robin stayed in the hospital, having regular bone marrow tests and blood transfusions. Barbara Bush stood at her daughter's side throughout the treatment process. 

On one quick outing to Maine, Robin got to see her two brothers whose pictures were taped to her hospital headboard. They had no idea that their sister's life was ebbing away. In October their daughter died with her parents being in that room. Barbara had this to say about that moment: "“For one last time I combed her hair and held our precious little girl,”



George W. said that Robin's death forged a bond that he leaned on through his father's Presidency and then his own. Barbara Bush remembered the time that she was too much of a burden for her young son when she overheard George W tell a friend on the phone, "One day … she heard her son tell a friend that he couldn’t come out because he had to play with his mother, who was lonely. “I was thinking, ‘Well, I’m being there for him,’ ” she recalled. “But the truth was he was being there for me.”


When Robin died there weren't a lot of grief support groups like we have today to help people like Barbara. When a person suffers a loss they are expected to suffer silently away from others. Today, we know far more about the psycho-social ramifications of loss and with that, there are a vast amount of resources help people survive this journey. 


Whereas it may hurt when a loss occurs, the good news is that God is no stranger to loss when he willingly gave up his son Jesus Christ to die so that we can all have life everlasting. In the life of Barbara Bush the moment she stepped into heaven she was filled with joy when Robin ran to her mom.  The scene repeated when Robin's dad, George H W Bush entered into heaven.

 Our Faith is what keeps us going in this grief-stricken world.



If your suffering from the loss of someone close to you, I encourage you to find a griefshare group by clicking on this link. Griefshare is a 13-week group that teaches you to how to go through the pain, not around it.https://www.griefshare.org If you want to read the original Washing Post article you can do so through this link. https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/retropolis/wp/2018/04/17/one-last-time-barbara-bush-has-already-faced-a-death-more-painful-than-her-own/?noredirect=on&utm_term=.503891802abc