Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I entrust my life.
Someone asked if I heard about the news report of a brother who adopted a highway in honor of his deceased brother. I said I hadn't. This person described the moment he brought his mom to the location of this sign. As soon as she saw her deceased son's name on that sign her grieving began.
Her son died in 1962 when he was hit by a car trying to cross the street. That was over 50 years ago. When I read the story of George H.W. and Barbara Bush who lost their 3-year-old daughter, Robin, from childhood leukemia the unwritten expectation for many at that time was to silently suffer without showing the world the inner pain you're in.
Grief is a journey. A journey that requires one to face all of the emotions of loss, as though you're standing in the ocean watching each wave of emotion passing over your feet, one wave at a time until that emotion passes.
Yet, there are many in our western culture who are needlessly suffering after a tragic loss because of this unwritten rule they must bury their emotions from that loss and pretend it doesn't hurt.
For some, the loss of someone dear to them becomes the existential question they must answer: if God exists why would he allow bad things to happen to good people? This is probably the single most question that determines the course they will take for the duration of their life.
Do they reject the all-knowing God and pretend He doesn't exist or do they embrace God by remaining plugged into a local church while working on all of the emotions associated with their pain? Both are choices the person has to make.
My observations of watching people remind me that the ramifications of rejecting God will only lead to anger, addictions, physical problems with health and early death.
As I began processing my emotions following our loss, we made the conscious decision to continue to worship at the same church we did when our loved one was still alive. It was hard, I must admit, to sit in the sanctuary in those beginning days while watching those around us seeming so happy.
To watch others bellow out the praise and worship songs while we were in the cataclysmic of our grief was hard; yet, when we chose to follow God by reading his love letter to us and remaining plugged into a local church- always going regardless of what we're feeling at the moment- we saw some amazing things take place. I saw a son who wasn't going to quit because he saw his dad not quitting his faith.
We saw our adult Sunday school class grow closer together, learning ways they can help those who are suffering.
We heard this concept as last nights Grief share: God has a purpose for our pain, good things will come out of our losses if we're willing to process all of the messy emotions of whatever loss we're experiencing.
So if I can offer any suggestions of what to do after a loss, these are the suggestions I would give: (1) stay plugged into a local Church, (2) get into a Bible study where you can continue to receive the word of God, (3) find a grief share group near you to teach you how to go through the pain, not around it. Lastly, remember that God sacrificed his own son, Jesus Christ on the cross so Jesus can reign in your heart through the good times and not so good times of your life
The mom who recently started grieving the loss of her son in 1962 did a good thing beginning o process the messy emotions of her loss. It is never too late.
God truly does love you and wants you to recover from the pain of your loss. If you are looking for a grief share group to get involved in after the holidays simply go to Griefshare through this link and find a group near you. https://www.griefshare.org
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