God's Love letter for you...(worth watching)

18 I warn everyone who hears the words of the prophecy of this book: if anyone adds to them, God will add to him the plagues described in this book, 19 and if anyone takes away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God will take away his share in the tree of life and in the holy city, which are described in this book. Rev. 22:18

What an awesome service we had at New Hope this morning!  Our pastor took us through the bible and illustrated God's word as being the same from Genesis through Revelations and we are not to add to it or subtract from that word. His word is the one constant in a world that is falling apart.

 His word is God breathed. We can trust the words that are in this book because of the many eye witnesses to his transfiguration.  All of the prophets were inspired and breathed in with the word of God.  Through the ages his word has stayed the same and continues to give us comfort regardless of what we are going through.  

God's word says that in this life will be many troubles but we should know that Jesus Christ has overcome the world.( John 16:33)  We have 100% confidence that what we read between Genesis and Revelations  is God inpired and able to carry us through anything that happens to us in this life.

 His word will carry us no matter what we have been through or going through in this life. Be it a death of a child, the loss of a favorite pet, or the loss of a sibling or spouse God will be with you all of the days of your life and He alone will help you reach the end of your grief a stronger and more resilient person.

 May you be encourage through God's love letter for you.

"IF WE COULD SEE INSIDE OTHERS' HEARTS": LIFE, in 4 min

9 because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. 10 For with the heart one believes and is justified, and with the mouth one confesses and is saved.  Romans 10:9-10

How quickly we jump to conclusions about the person we see on the streets. Instead of expressing a few words of encouragment we take our cues from talk radio where the host spews out venum of hate until the airwaves become so filled with it that your blood pressure boils, your temper flares and your brow turns red and each morning you wake your body feels like it has been in a war.

You listened to the same regimen of conspiracy theories from shock jocks who are making money off of endorsements you never knew about.  They go home counting their cash and you head to the ER bccause of a pouinding sensation from listening to their stash.

 You remind yourself that life is so unfair when those around you are getting a free ride while you have to earn everything  you keep. Your anger grows increasingly by the hour until, that is, others around you noticed that you aren't a nice person to hang around anymore.

 What if we all were giving the ability to know what was in someone's heart the moment you came upon them? What if the person in front of you suddenly had a thought pop up that told you ' I hope I do well in that job interview' or 'I hope I make it to the hospital to see my dad before passes' or 'please God don't let my child die' or how do I tell my wife and family I just lost our only source of income and how do I tell my family that we won't be going to Disney world this summer?

 What if every car we pass by or every person we see had this thought line that pop up.  The Middle Eastern man's pop-up quote may say, " I wonder how I can get my son to not spend so much time on the computer and focus on school?" The woman on the street with the sad eyes might have just received the news that her fience was killed in Iraqu, or in the car to the right of yours is one that reads "I'm 4 months behind on the mortgage where and how am I going to catch up?"

If we knew what was in their heart would we be so quick to judge them?

After our loss in 2007 I noticed that  my grief gave me a greater sensitivity for those around me. Instead of seeing people from my former shock jock vantage post I began to see people with struggles, with pain, and with uncertainties of life.

Going to church was no longer about seeing friends and telling a few jokes and soaking up what the pastor had to say then going home and filing my bible on the shelf for another week.

 Now, when I go to church I am able to look past the suits and the pretty dresses and see people with problems. I no longer see perfection, but I see incredible struggles, pain and losses. 

I know from my experience that people who come to a church for the first time are looking for genuine people who truly know how to listen AND show empathy to them.  If they were interested in short talks with a little spice of humor  thrown in they would have gone to a sports bar with some friends.  But, when they step through the doors of that church they are dying for someone to get to know them. They're dying for genuineness.

All it takes are a few questions at the right time and a willingness to share your own struggles.

To be transparent means to invite others to be transparent with you. Transparency builds relationships.  Relationships build trust and trust leads to hope that all will be well in the midst of pain and suffering.

As we see people as God sees them we no longer find ways to avoid going to church. We look forward  to meeting people and supportingand encouraging them in their journeys.  Going to church honors God as the sweet aroma of our worship and encouragement wafts up to the heavenlies. 

Our Sabbath day becomes like a sweet oasis of gentle rains of God's grace where for one day we get  to lay down  our labor and lean on him to show us something from the word of God that will inspire us and others God brings into our path.   

Whatever you have to face in this life be it a terminal illness, a surgery, a child on life support, God will bring you through that journey. There may be pain and the pain may linger, but eventually God will bring you out the other side stronger and more resilient than before your journey began.

I wished my daugther was still here with my family. I wished I could reverse the earth's rotation just as Superman did when he  brought back Lois Lane from the brink of death, but I know that isn't possible.  I  know that my relationship with Jesus Christ and the relationship my daugther had with Jesus reminded me that she is at this very moment in heaven enjoying all of the benefits that the rest of us will experience when our lives come to a screeching halt. All it takes is a simple prayer to set things right. A simple prayer that will assure that your name is written in the Lamb's book of life.

 A simple prayer like this one:

"Dear Jesus, I know that I am a sinner and nothing I can do is enough to earn my salvation.  I know that you died on the cross and paid the penalty for my sin's. I ask you to come into my life and become my Savior.  I want to step down from the throne and allow you, Jesus, to take the throne of my life. Thank you Lord for the free gift of Salvation just as it says in 1 John 5:11-12:11 And this is the testimony, that God gave us eternal life, and this life is in his Son. 12 Whoever has the Son has life; whoever does not have the Son of God does not have life. Amen

The next time you're walking down he street try to picture others as God see's them, not the way our shock jocks with their millions of dollars of endorsements see them.

The beautiful thing about knowing Christ is seeing God's work of restoratoration in peoples lives

36 For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? Mark 8:36

I must admit that when our family entered the valley of the shadow of death I thought our life as we knew it had ended. What I mean was that there would be such a profound sense of sadness that I would never smile, laugh, or enjoy life like I had before our daughter died and that I would be in the pit of despair forever.

It was through the encouragement and prayers of a multitude of friends at New Hope Church that helped restore each of us in different ways. What I learned from my journey would be that God loved our family so much that he wasn't about to let us go. God breathed life into us through other Christians, through the teaching and worship ministries and through our Homebuilder's Sunday school class, a group our family belonged to ever since we were first married.

I kept remembering the words from Joshua 24:15, "But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” Instead of walking away from God and tossing my bible in the trash our family made the decision to keep going to church and keep reading His word while waiting on God to reveal the plan for our lives.

Like Tony Dungy who experienced a similar tragedy with the sudden loss of his son our family continued to place one foot in front of the other trusting God while we were on this journey. God's restoration in Tony's life lead him out of football in 2009 to devote his remaining days helping trouble youth.

Sometimes we have to momentarily go through incredible pain before He shows us what our 'restored' life will look like. The worse thing we can do is to walk away from God while throwing away everything we know about the things of God while watching our lives cascade into the whirlwind of atheism. By trusting God on the journey we are on will eventually reveal our restored hope we have in Christ and closer to our life's restoration. God restored Tony Dundgy's life by calling him out of coaching into a restored life of helping trouble youth.

You might have started off in this life on a certain path, but God will show you a path far better than the one you started off on. Life may be different after your loss, but you will one day laugh again.

Through God's perfect love he gives us beautiful ashes that translates into amazing health benefits.

9 We love because he first loved us. 20 If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot[a] love God whom he has not seen. 21 And this commandment we have from him: whoever loves God must also love his brother. John 4:9

I was thinking what a contrast there is between what the world stamdard is for us and God's standard. One word comes to mind that describes the world standard: selfishness. Before Eve plucked the apple from the tree of knowledge in the garden of eden Adam and Eve were experiencing God's perfect love. The moment Adam and Eve took a bite from that apple their relationship with God shattered and from that moment on mankind thought only of their selfish needs. Bloodshed followed as sin permeated and festered through the ages with grief and sorrow following.  Mankind thinks only of themselves. How much money, how many titles I can earn right down to how big of a  house can I build to store my treasures.

In Greek mythology, Narcissus (/nɑrˈsɪsəs/; Greek: Νάρκισσος, Narkissos) was a Hunter from Thespiae in Boeotia who was known for his beauty. He was the son of the river god Cephissus and nymph Liriope.[1] He was proud, in that he disdained those who loved him.Nemesis noticed this behavior and attracted Narcissus to a pool, where he saw his own reflection in the water and fell in love with it, not realizing it was merely an image. Unable to leave the beauty of his reflection, Narcissus drowned. Narcissus is the origin of the termnarcissism, a fixation with oneself and one's physical appearance.

When we decide to make a decision for Jesus Christ who became God's perfect sacrifice and sin bearer we are making a decision to lay down our 'self'. We are saying 'here I am' Lord make me into the image of  Jesus and use me for the outpouring of your love. When we receive Jesus as our Savior we become God's conduit for his outpouring of his perfect love. No longer do we fixate on our selfish needs we look outward at the needs of others. 

No matter what happens in this life, be it the death of a child, loss of a job, serious disability onset God is there to make beautiful ashes out of your suffering because out of that suffering he will give you ways to show love to a fallen world that is still hanging onto 'self'.

In an article by Christianity Today a group of medical researchers reported the following as a side benefit of having religion in their lives:

1. Those who believe in God may actually add 14 years onto their lives.Those who have faith carry positive health benefits such as coping with illness, faster recovery, as well as protection from future illnesses.
2.In one study that involved 20,000 adults shows that income and education had little impact on longevity, but  those who went to church regularely had 7 years added to their life expectancy with that life expectancy doubling for most African Americans.
3. People who struggle with mental health issues also proved to cope better when religion was involved.
4.One study even found that religious attendance was associated with a more than 90 percent reduction in meningococcal disease (meningitis and septicemia), in teenagers, a protection at least as good as meningococcal vaccination. Furthermore, religious involvement has been associated with improved adherence to medication.”
5.In one robust study of people living with HIV, those who grew in appreciation of spirituality or religious coping after diagnosis suffered significantly less decline in their CD4 counts and slower disease progression over a four year follow-up.

 6.Believers have higher self-esteem, adapt better to bereavement, feel less lonely and are less likely to suffer from depression. Those who do suffer depression tend to make a faster recovery from depression.

7.They are less likely to commit suicide or suffer anxiety, display fewer psychotic tendencies, and are less likely to suffer alcohol and drug abuse.
8.They are also less likely to get involved in delinquency and criminal activity and tend to enjoy greater marital stability and satisfaction .

The article goes on and states that Christians should not promote health benefits as the primary reason for coming to faith in Christ. Jesus came into the world to work a far deeper transformation in human lives than simply curing disease. http://www.christiantoday.com/article/believing.in.god.is.good.for.your.health/27902.htm

I can testify on these health benefits when that first Sunday following our loss I shared with my son why it is important to keep putting one foot forward and going to church: so that we can be encouraged by our fellow  believers. At the time I didn't realize that the added benefit of regular church attendance would translate to better bereavement.

So there is beauty in our ashes. As we travel the forlorn journey of grief while honoring God he will give us a desire to pour out our love to others who know no such love. While we are doing so I think most of us will discover amazing health benefits flowing out of our relationship with Him. God is truly amazing and he desires us to know that perfect love.

Angels Are Near You! Angels Are With You! - Judith MacNutt (Heaven Testi...

4 “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted. Matthew 5:4

I have heard story after story of people who know Jesus that when the approaching end comes they experience angels. The night Maria passed away in her sleep at the age of 10 my wife said that when she walked into her room ( to check on her and see if she needed any pain medication) she said that she had a smile on her face.  I believe, after watching this video, that she saw an angel in her midst.

All throughout my grief journey, I can tell you that I also have experienced God's close presence in this way. I know there were times where I was close to my ropes end that God would send someone to me with a timely word of encouragement. There were many times I would be sitting in church and the Pastor would speak a word that I knew was something I needed to hear. 

No more than a month after Maria left her earthly life I remember sitting in the break room at work asking God to help me with this grief pain. No sooner than a minute or so I heard these words, "Go to Rainbow and pick up a dozen  flowers for your bride." I went back and grabbed my car keys and drove toward the Rainbow grocery store's flower department. As I got closer to Rainbow I momentarily thought about turning the opposite way toward the Cub store which I knew also had a flower department and easier to get to.  But, at that moment I felt a definite tug on the staring wheel and a reminder to go to the Rainbow store. 

After parking my car I walked into the Rainbow and headed straight to the flower department. At the counter was a lady in her early 40's. She looked at me and asked me how she could help me.  I said I would like a dozen red roses for my wife. She went to the cooler behind her and selected out the prettiest looking flowers  and began wrapping them. I shared with her the story of our tragic loss of our 10-year-old daughter Maria following her first night home from the hospital.

She  paused before she shared with me that she lost her husband who had a heart attack...then she added they had his celebration of life service at New Hope Church. I was jolted when I remember that it was the same day I dropped my son off at Drama camp when  I saw a white hearst sitting in front of the church and realize that that was the day of his celebration service. I gave her my condolences and mentioned I thought about going to that service, but it was too soon after our tragedy. 

The next thing I did was drive up to the school my wife worked at, Meadow Creek Christian School, and surprise her with those roses. That day, God showed me that the way to heal from grief would be to be a blessing to two ladies. One who worked at Rainbow who helped me with my purchase and the other one was my wife who I was able to bless her with 12 beautiful roses. Looking back, I know that it was Jesus Christ who guided me to this place to encourage and be encouraged by someone else going through this journey.

I know that there were angels of protection watching over my wife and my son.  I have other stories too numerous to share, but they are there.  Jesus wants each of us to know that he died for each of us. When you accept him as your savior you open up the door to the helpers of the heavenly world. You may not see them, but you can be assured they are there. Just as angels have protected my family, encouraged me with a timely word, and made his word come alive this same Jesus wants to part of your life throughout your own grief journey and give you the evidence that Heaven is a very real place. 

The worse thing we can do in this journey is to attempt to mask it with drugs and alcohol. They may momentarily cover the pain, but they will never erase the pain. Only by placing one foot in front of the other and trusting God that he knows what is best for you will you slowly recover. 

Go ahead, lean into the emotions of your grief and sit back and experience the ministering angels in your life!

Life is too short

7 Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. 8 Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. 9 In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. 10 In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. 11 Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. 12 No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us. 1John 4:7-21

Life is short. Too short to harbor grudges that for some last a life time. Too short to avoid talking to the other person, that is until you find out that the person is slowly fading from life.  Life is filled with wounded people of all kinds. Young, old and everyone in between walking aimlessly looking for a reason to heal their pain. Bitterness and disappointments cloud their thinking and keep them from reconciling from loved ones.

In many families there are rifts that widen  as wide as the largest canyon. The rifts started out as a hurt feeling or a word taken out of context before it grows to something unimaginable.The word taken out of context festers in the mind of the wounded person and grows into something much bigger. Before you know it families are divided with not a clue how to unite them. A misplaced word many generations ago can divide families much like it did with the Hatfield's and the McCoys. 

In just a few days my wife and I will be celebrating the life of the wife of my dad's brother. As I reflect on the memories of my parents and his brother and his wife there was one thing they all had in common: they were raised in the era of the great depression. Many people might remember these people as the greatest generation, but many also must remember that for most of them life was hard. Unlike the generation today with it's many over indulgences those who grew up in the great depression knew what it meant to do without.  This generation grew up eating what their parents could afford to put on their table. For most there were no prime rib dinners in fancy restaurants.

Children of this era were taught that if they wanted something they had to go out and take jobs. Many of these kids were pin setters in bowling alleys, newspaper deliverers, and the list goes on.

In a few days we will be honoring my Dad's sister-in-law Irene. When I re-read her obituary I learned somethings about her that I never really knew.

From the Miller funeral home website I learned this about my Aunt. Irene Ann Gabrielson was born on May  21, 1921 to William and Melissa Brooks Baker in Minneapolis. In 1946 she was united in marriage to Roger Gabrielson in Minneapolis. She was a long time employee and later retired from Univac. She was an excellent cook who also enjoyed gardening and canning. Irene loved to fish and crochet. Later on in that obituary were these words: she was preceded in death by her parents; husband Roger in 1969, daughter Irene Anne; son, Sonny, and 11 siblings.

From this simple obituary I learned that she had seen tragedy. Her husband died on the operating table as they operated on his heart. I remember my dad receiving the news one morning in 1969 and watching him crying at the kitchen table of our 3 bedroom rambler home. As the oldest in my family I remember all of us with our arms on his shoulder trying disparately to console him. Irene lost a daughter and a son. Having experience a similar tragedy with the loss of Maria I can almost feel the pain of her loss.

Grief has a way of going underground when it occurs. Instead of talking about it  we bury grief in layers upon layers of sediment  in hopes that it won't resurface again. When we hurt we build walls in an effort to keep people away.  . The common refrain I often heard growing up in my family was ' I don't want to talk about it'.

What I learned in my own personal journey of loss is that life is going to be hard and there will be suffering, but by leaning on the Savior and Lord of my life, Jesus Christ, he will see me through the entire journey. Our journeys, if we allow them to be, will one day become our platform where we will have the opportunity to share with others the secrets of surviving our losses.

As I reflect on the life of Irene Gabrielson I am comforted in knowing that she is at this moment experiencing all of the comforts of heaven.  In her final months of life God brought her to live with her son Ron Sr. and his wife Carole.  Carole often would pray with her and reminded her that when we have Christ we will see heaven.  I am comforted knowing that when she took her final breath here she took her first breath in heaven. I wish I could see the excitement in her eyes when she saw her husband she tragically lost in 1969 and her daughter and son who died prematurely. 

Enjoy your heavenly reward, Irene Gabrielson. You are home now.

Blessed Assurance sung by Third Day (HD)

11 Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. 2 For by it the people of old received their commendation. 3 By faith we understand that the universe was created by the word of God, so that what is seen was not made out of things that are visible. Hebrews 11

I recently learned that good friends of ours had been given a diagnosis they never wanted to receive and it reminded me once again how precious life is and each day we wake up inhaling that first breath is truly a gift from God.  It also reminded me that no matter what bad things happen to us in this life doesn't mean that God abandoned us. I learned, for example, that when bad things happen some people throw away the wooden cross, stop going to church, and slowly dissolve into a whirlwind of atheism. 

"If there is a God why did this have to happen?"

"If there is a God then bad things wouldn't happen."

I remember the divine words God placed on my heart the first Sunday we went to church without  Maria.  My 12 year old son looked at me and asked "Do I really have to go to church this morning? I don't feel so well."

To that I shared with him these God felt words at the moment.

"Well, I know you don't feel well and I know mom doesn't and I certainly don't and we can all stay home, but if we did we will deny the opportunities to be blessed by the kind word of some friend."

Many years later my son said to me that the converstation we had that morning was the turning point in his life.  He saw that his dad wasn't going to quit on his family and he decided he wasn't going to be a quitter. 

The journey has taught me that my walk with Jesus isn't based on 'feelings'.  It also isn't based on the prosparity gospel where the more we have means the more we are blessed. Life, afterall, is going to be filled with pain and suffering. How we view that suffering will help us to properly process that suffering, one day at a time.

To everyone facing a critical medical appointment just remember that Jesus is there beside you ready to walk with you on whatever journey you are on. Your life's journey may seem impossible to navigate and there will be times you may decide to 'tthrow in the towel, but that time comes that is the time you must keep going.  As the words of Blessed assurance remind us that it was Jesus who won the battle with death and it was Jesus that paid the ultimate penalty of our sin and gave us the free gift of everlasting life in heaven. 

I am so glad that I chose to put one foot in front of the other and continue to claim the promises of God after my tragic loss.  Won't you lift your hands up and praise your Savior no matter what you are going through in this life?  Your journey just may be inspiring others to know your Savior.

11 Misconceptions about PTSD-things you can do to move past those nightmares after a tragedy

John 14:27English Standard Version (ESV)
27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.

I recently came back from a 2 day 10 Core values of Trauma, grief and loss conference. I learned some things about PTSD and the newest revised definition.  It seems that in America we have lost touch iwth how to process our grief. 

Most American's from the returning Vet's to those who witness traumatic events have lost the ability to tell their stories about the event. Instead of moving toward recovery we bury those stories of traumatic losses in hopes of escaping the pain, but only to find they come out in other ways.  

For most of us, it starts off with a simple dialog with our surviving family.

"It's too hard, I don't want to talk about it"

"I can't allow myself to go there"

"That was then, this is now, I don't want to talk about it"

Stories left untold come out in flashbacks, nightmares, and addictive behaviors that start off innocent enough.

"I couldn't sleep last night"

"Why?"

"I had a nightmare"

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No, it's too horrible to talk about it"

Night after night nightmares linger, sleep gets disrupted until other physiological signs begin appearing.

"You were out late last night"

"I went out drinking with a group of friends"

"What is that smell?"

"I don't smell anything"

"Do you want to talk about what is bothering you?"

"NO!"

Several years later serious repercussions result from those untold stories.

"Your honor, I would like to request a leniancy  for my client"

"On what grounds?"

"He has been through traumatic events where he has never told anyone until he shared with me  this past week."

"I will take that under advisement, but driving under the influence  and killing someone in the process is a very serious offence."

Stories left untold lead to a history of 'family secrets' that wrecks havoc on future generations.

"Mommy, why does Uncle Ike drink so much?"

"He went through some aweful things that, I guess, he couldn't ever talk about".

Stories left untold leads to untimely and premature tragic endings that lead others to wonder about the what if's of life and whether if there was anything they could have done differently  would have made a difference in keeping them alive.

"I should have been there for Uncle Ike. I should have gone over there when he called me."
Why wasn't I there for him?"

It has been my experience that few therapists understand Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.  At one of our families therapy appointments I actually had the therapist tell me after I described for them the flashbacks, nightmares I was having following the sudden death of our daughter that there is no way I could have PTSD because only Veterans get it.  This might have been the common conception years ago, but the  newest DSM-5 revised the PTSD definition to the following:

(1)The diagnostic criteria for the manual’s next edition identify the trigger to PTSD as exposure to actual or threatened death, or serious injury.

(2)The exposure must result from one or more of the following scenarios, in which the individual: • directly experiences the traumatic event.

(3) witnesses the traumatic event in person;

(4)learns that the traumatic event occurred to a close family member or close friend (with the actual or threatened death being either violent or accidental)

(4) experiences first-hand repeated or extreme exposure to aversive details of the traumatic event (not through media, pictures, television or movies unless work-related).

(5)The disturbance, regardless of its trigger, causes clinically significant distress or impairment in the individual’s social interactions, capacity to work or other important areas of functioning. It is not the physiological result of another medical condition, medication, drugs or alcohol.

There is hope for recovering from the nighmares and flashbacks following the traumatic event. As we learn to share our stories, whether with a good therapist, or a trusted listener you will see the damaging impact of those stories lessening every day.

 One more thing. It was my Savior who walked with me each day of my life who helped me replaced those nighmarish stories with happy endings. Simply by placing one foot in front of the other and honoring the Lord on the Sabbath, regardless of how I was feeling, helped me to heal from the tragic events of my past.

So go ahead, pick up your writing tablet and your pen and begin telling your story. You will be so glad you did.

Because one day you just may be able to have the following dialog with a friend who is interested in learning from your journey.

"Who is that person in that frame?"

"She was a wonderful person."

" Can you tell me more about her?"

"Sure, let's pull up a chair and I will pour some tea and I will tell you about her."