11 Misconceptions about PTSD-things you can do to move past those nightmares after a tragedy

John 14:27English Standard Version (ESV)
27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.

I recently came back from a 2 day 10 Core values of Trauma, grief and loss conference. I learned some things about PTSD and the newest revised definition.  It seems that in America we have lost touch iwth how to process our grief. 

Most American's from the returning Vet's to those who witness traumatic events have lost the ability to tell their stories about the event. Instead of moving toward recovery we bury those stories of traumatic losses in hopes of escaping the pain, but only to find they come out in other ways.  

For most of us, it starts off with a simple dialog with our surviving family.

"It's too hard, I don't want to talk about it"

"I can't allow myself to go there"

"That was then, this is now, I don't want to talk about it"

Stories left untold come out in flashbacks, nightmares, and addictive behaviors that start off innocent enough.

"I couldn't sleep last night"

"Why?"

"I had a nightmare"

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No, it's too horrible to talk about it"

Night after night nightmares linger, sleep gets disrupted until other physiological signs begin appearing.

"You were out late last night"

"I went out drinking with a group of friends"

"What is that smell?"

"I don't smell anything"

"Do you want to talk about what is bothering you?"

"NO!"

Several years later serious repercussions result from those untold stories.

"Your honor, I would like to request a leniancy  for my client"

"On what grounds?"

"He has been through traumatic events where he has never told anyone until he shared with me  this past week."

"I will take that under advisement, but driving under the influence  and killing someone in the process is a very serious offence."

Stories left untold lead to a history of 'family secrets' that wrecks havoc on future generations.

"Mommy, why does Uncle Ike drink so much?"

"He went through some aweful things that, I guess, he couldn't ever talk about".

Stories left untold leads to untimely and premature tragic endings that lead others to wonder about the what if's of life and whether if there was anything they could have done differently  would have made a difference in keeping them alive.

"I should have been there for Uncle Ike. I should have gone over there when he called me."
Why wasn't I there for him?"

It has been my experience that few therapists understand Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.  At one of our families therapy appointments I actually had the therapist tell me after I described for them the flashbacks, nightmares I was having following the sudden death of our daughter that there is no way I could have PTSD because only Veterans get it.  This might have been the common conception years ago, but the  newest DSM-5 revised the PTSD definition to the following:

(1)The diagnostic criteria for the manual’s next edition identify the trigger to PTSD as exposure to actual or threatened death, or serious injury.

(2)The exposure must result from one or more of the following scenarios, in which the individual: • directly experiences the traumatic event.

(3) witnesses the traumatic event in person;

(4)learns that the traumatic event occurred to a close family member or close friend (with the actual or threatened death being either violent or accidental)

(4) experiences first-hand repeated or extreme exposure to aversive details of the traumatic event (not through media, pictures, television or movies unless work-related).

(5)The disturbance, regardless of its trigger, causes clinically significant distress or impairment in the individual’s social interactions, capacity to work or other important areas of functioning. It is not the physiological result of another medical condition, medication, drugs or alcohol.

There is hope for recovering from the nighmares and flashbacks following the traumatic event. As we learn to share our stories, whether with a good therapist, or a trusted listener you will see the damaging impact of those stories lessening every day.

 One more thing. It was my Savior who walked with me each day of my life who helped me replaced those nighmarish stories with happy endings. Simply by placing one foot in front of the other and honoring the Lord on the Sabbath, regardless of how I was feeling, helped me to heal from the tragic events of my past.

So go ahead, pick up your writing tablet and your pen and begin telling your story. You will be so glad you did.

Because one day you just may be able to have the following dialog with a friend who is interested in learning from your journey.

"Who is that person in that frame?"

"She was a wonderful person."

" Can you tell me more about her?"

"Sure, let's pull up a chair and I will pour some tea and I will tell you about her."