Lessons from our grief, part 2 from Grief Share

Praise the Lord! He is good.God’s love never fails.2 Praise the God of all gods.God’s love never fails.3 Praise the Lord of lords.God’s love never fails. Psalm 136:1-3

I think one of the best takeaways from this week's Grief Share meeting was this notion that God loves us so much that he desires to be at the core of our suffering. 

When God sent his son, Jesus, to die the most excruciating death on the cross, it was to pay the penalty of all of our sin's. Think of that for a moment.  Before Christ was born, God expected all of us to be perfect because he detested sin.

 This was a burden that was impossible for most people to keep that He decided to become like us by being born to a virgin and living life as a common man to experience the things we experienced- except this time He would take the final sacrificial blows on the cross that would lead to the total forgiveness of all of our sin's, as long as we choose to receive this gift of eternal life from God.

Not only did Jesus become like us, but he walked among us teaching the things that truly mattered to his father in heaven. Jesus became our role model. Through his words of wisdom taught to him from the father above, we learned how to treat one another, how to encourage, and how to meet each other's needs, not from a worldly perspective, but God's perspective.

  In this day of age, the world is sorely lacking in moral absolutes. Through a relationship with Jesus, God gives us the boundaries that when followed will keep us on the straight and narrow, out of trouble and controversy, and away from the temptations of life that have caused so many in society to fall.

The lesson from grief share is to draw near to God's heart by reading the bible and by praying in conversation style the burdens you're facing today. God hears your anguish cries, your pleas for help, and your pain you feel.

In fact, the more you draw near to God through daily Bible reading, prayer and putting one foot in front of the other and attending Church much like you did before your loss,  your recovery from the loss will be easier to navigate with fewer complications.

What the world needs now is a revival for the hearts and minds for Jesus

 All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness,  so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work. 2 Timothy 3

I'm trying to wrap my head around why people become mass shooters. Not a pleasant thought to think there are those among us who become so hate filled they want to kill people. Fortunately, the vast majority of us are law-abiding, but it really doesn't take a lot of individuals to inflict trauma and emotional pain on the world we live in, not with 24-7 news coverage so prevailing in today's society.

As I started reading articles of about the recent shootings, I remembered a verse from the 2 Timothy about the Apostle Paul reminding his young protege, Timothy these words: 

"But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days.  People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good,  treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God—  having a form of godliness but denying its power.

I don't think anyone would disagree that there have been some terrible days since September 11, 2001.

I remember, as a child in the 60's living through the Viet Nam war, watching college students protesting while chanting, 'make love, not war.' I also remember the gas wars of those years when we saw gas prices going over the dollar mark for the first time and the long lines of cars waiting to gas up.  I remember how frustrated my dad was forking out money to fill his tank while whispering under his breath that he would stop driving when the gas price moved over the one dollar mark.

I remember how popular heroin, LSD, and Marijuana was becoming and how a little-known Psychologist named Timothy Leary was raving about the mental health benefits of LSD.

This was also the decade where for the first time people were beginning to question the existence of God. The door was ajar and lawsuits were filed to prevent public schools from permitting prayer in the schools. 

As more and more people stopped believing, they turn to other things to fill the void in their God-shaped hole in their heart- drugs, alcohol, gambling.


The 70's became the decade when women made their way into the working world, and shortly thereafter a new cottage daycare industry was developed to care for their children. Now that their income doubled, they were no longer satisfied with the small rambler homes made famous in the post World War 2 years, so bigger homes became the norm. Because those homes required all of both incomes, there was little time for communication which leads to marital separation and divorce and an endless number of children wondering 'if they were to blame' for why mom and dad no longer love each other. 

They grew up in this empty void, they filled their time with drugs, alcohol, or illicit sex. Because they didn't know that God wanted a personal relationship with them they gravitated to the darker side- things like Satan worship, cutting, sinister looking tattoos, and the Goth subculture just so they could fit in.

The latest shooter came from an economically successful family. Early on in his childhood, he went to a Christian church. As one former Facebook friend of his said, 'he was a likable guy early on and they had fun together, but in the past couple of years, his posts were becoming darker, unlike the friend she once knew.

My thought is we are paying a price when we deny the existence of God from our lives. Instead of worshipping God, we're worshipping money- the more we accumulate the happier we are. We forget those who retired on top with endless riches reaching the top uttering those words, "is this it?"

As a child in the 60's I have fond memories of going to Church and worshipping God or praying before bedtime. I have memories of attending Sunday school and learning that God loved me so much that he sacrificed his son, Jesus, on the cross for all of our sin's. I learned that all it takes to know God is to personally invite Jesus into our hearts. As we celebrate the holiday's we are reminded how much He wants to have a personal relationship with us through his son Jesus Christ. 

In each of the recent mass shooters, the common thread that connects these shooters are individuals who have forgotten God,  filled their God-shaped hole with a fascination with guns, a dark subculture, and many harmful addictions. If those of us who know Jesus personally will reach out to those who do not, I believe God will cause such a revival to occur that it would revolutionize the world we live in.


Only then, will this country experience true revival.

When you grieve the loss of a loved one, draw near to God for your source of comfort

13 May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13

The holidays can be especially painful when those you use to be with during this time of celebration are no longer among you. 

We often remember the by-gone days when grandpa would cut the turkey or grandma took the freshly baked pie out of the oven and where the fresh aroma would fill the air and send loud hunger pangs reminding you that you need food. 

 It can be especially painful for anyone who has ever lost a child through unspeakable tragedy to escape those first holidays when the 'why' questions keep popping up in your mind.  The pain may be so great that you have to retreat to one of the bedrooms to take a nap to escape the pain. 

One of the lessons I would like to pass on when you are hit with those sad moments is to sit for a moment and make a list of everything you're thankful for, past and present, in your life.  I know from my experience that when we do this, we begin to focus on the blessings of God rather than the tragedies of our lives. 

 I would also encourage you to burn a candle (electric one if you're fearful of knocking it down and having the house burn down)  for each family member who isn't there this holiday season.What this does is remove the 'white elephant' from the room. You know, the one that everyone knows is there, but no one talks about it.  

Grief and sorrow tend to masquerade as the elephant in the room where, like eggshells, people gingerly walk around the subject of their loved one no longer there, but no one wants to talk about them for fear causing the floodgate of emotions seeping in.  

It is when we don't allow ourselves to talk about it that makes each of us feel worse. Finally, remember grief requires us to lean into all of the emotions of our loss. The old adage, "time heals all" isn't accurate because someone who refuses to work through the emotions can typically feel many years later the original pain of their loss- as though the loss just occurred when in fact it had been 10 years ago. 

 Our God has been a source of many blessings over the years, but we wouldn't know if when the lingering pain of our loss continues to fill our minds.  

I would encourage everyone dealing with losses ( men and woman) to consider committing yourselves to a 13-week griefshare group  www.griefshare.org to help you understand and recover from grief. 

 Finally, when we're dealing with loss try to commit to going to church.  The pain may still linger as you walk into the sanctuary and you may not feel like singing as those around you are, but the benefits of listening to God's word or receiving an encouraging word from a friend will help you heal from this pain.

 I want to wish everyone a wonderful and blessed Thanksgiving!

Christmas through the eyes of a child

John 3:16 [Full Chapter]
For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

I was shopping at Menards the other day when I decided to take a  detour through the Christmas area that draws thousands in search of house decorating supplies from indoor/outdoor lighting, lighted trees, large lighted angels, the manger scene consisting of Mary, Joseph, baby Jesus, the Wise men, the shepherds, and last but not least the miniature buildings, miniature people  and amusement rides with sound and light that bring smiles to  everyone who encounters it.  

Every year there are some who buy new miniature buildings to add to their expanding village they set it up in the corner of their basement before the holidays. As soon as he sees the first smile, he is hooked to do this again year, after year, after year.

As I was strolling through this smorgasbord of light and sound, I saw a young child with this incredible sense of awe looking every which way trying to take in what she liked most while her parents stood nearby with this look of delight watching their happy child experiencing something the rest of us take for granted.  I commented to mom and dad, "She really looks like she is enjoying herself."  Dad responded with a smile," She loves coming here to see the Christmas area every year and this was her consolation prize."  

As I reflected on this, I had this sense that we live in a world of hope and hopelessness.  There are many people this holiday season who emotionally cannot handle the thought of celebrating Christmas because they may be missing someone- a parent, grandparent, sibling, a child or a pet.  Sadness and emotional pain become their friend, instead of the sense of awe as seen through the eye of this child at Menards.

As I chewed on this thought a bit, I realized that Christmas isn't about the lights I see at Menards, but Christmas is a time of celebrating God's greatest gift to the hopelessness of this world- the birth of the Savior of the world. A birth that would give hope to those who were on the treadmill going nowhere trying to please God with perfect animal offerings and rituals that offered no promise it would be enough.

 I'm in awe that God loved us so much that he decided to take matters in his own hands and offer us eternal life through this baby Jesus born in an animal trough in a little-known village of Bethlehem.

If we can only focus on the real meaning of Christmas, not on the pain that so easily consumes our lives, soon we too can have this same sense of awe so often found in a child.  

We must remember to never isolate from others when grieving, but place one foot in front of the other and continue to worship God on the sabbath, week after week, month after month, year after year, regardless of how we feel from moment to moment.

 By doing so, you will experience God like moments where strangers you meet will have a word of encouragement that was meant for you. 

God truly uses the body of Christ to encourage us!

The holidays can be tough on people as they reflect on the loved ones no longer there.

Romans 15:13New International Version (NIV)
13 May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

The holidays can be a painful time of year for most people when members they were used to seeing the previous years are no longer there this year.  I remember my own mother becoming weepy at holiday gatherings over the recent loss of her own mom.  I know now from my own life experience that she felt the triggers of her grief- remembering her mom's holiday cooking, the special meals, the delicious bars and opening up that Christmas present. This is what grief will do the more losses in life we encounter.

All of us may be surprised when we are bombarded by those triggers which is the reason why the grieving person must have a plan that anticipates those triggers.  One of the ideas from Griefshare is to bring a candle to a holiday gathering and asking them if you could burn a candle in honor your loved one. This will open up the door to sharing a memory of your loved one, and it may give others permission to also burn a candle of their loved one as well. Grief has a tendency to masquerade as isolation- we think we're the only ones really hurting this time of year so we try to put on the happy face that in the end makes our grief worse. 

Another technique I've learned is the art of being thankful.  I did this by sitting down and entering in my journal all the things I'm thankful for in my life.  Things like the day I received Christ as my Savior, having great friends, a roof over my head, the opportunity to watch my son grow, a job that I enjoy, and the list goes on.  Being thankful helps me take my mind off of what I do not have and put the focus on what I have. 

 I now know from my own grief experience why the elders in my life reacted the way they did during the holidays. In the 60's, there wasn't the knowledge we have now that allows us to connect the way we feel and grief and loss. Today, we know that healing from our losses isn't a matter of days, weeks, but years at a timetable that is as unique to them as the person they lost. Grief share didn't exist then. Adults of that era, as well as today, try to numb the pain of grief with alcohol and drugs. 

I love being a facilitator for Griefshare. The lessons I've learned going through grief share as a participant gave me the tools to survive my journey of loss.  As a facilitator, I would encourage everyone suffering the loss of a special person to think about joining a 13-week grief share group near you. The lessons you learn from this interactive study will benefit you in more ways than you realize. 

Finally, God understands your pain. He knows that grief hurts, but if you learn to lean into your pain, going through the pain, not around it, you will find that God will become your greatest source of comfort. 

Remember, while your loved one may not be there for you this holiday season, God still has a marvelous plan for your life and a reason to keep on living.

Just as 2 Timothy 3:16 reminds us, God breathes life into us.

2 Timothy 3:16-17New International Version (NIV)

16 All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, 17 so that the servant of God[a]may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.

As I reflect back on how many years when I opened the door to my heart and said 'yes' to Jesus to take his rightful place on the throne of my heart, I'm counting the blessings of that decision.  I'm also remembering this verse above which reminds me the power of God's word in the life of his believers.

God breathe.  Like the gentle wind that blows through the open window, like the life-giving breath  of someone giving mouth to mouth to an unconscious person, God gives life to his fellow believers  whenever we read eyewitness accounts of the testimonies of Jesus, or feel the heart of David in the Psalms,or as we read how God helped his people overcome great obstacles.

Our God breathes life into us whenever we worship with others in his sanctuaries whether it is in publically defined places of worship, or in inner rooms in countries that forbid such public display- God breathes life into us.

God breathes life into us whenever a diagnosis has been given, a particular medical procedure recommended, or in those cases where we might only have months to live.

God breathes life into the survivors when loved ones pass on when scriptures they gleaned from personal quiet times, or words of hope offered at the pulpit soothe our aching souls and gives us hope for tomorrow.

God is our mighty king, our gentle shepherd who cares for his people and breathes life into us.

Grief: Am I Going Crazy? H. Norman Wright | GriefShare

Grief is our reaction to the love we had for the person who died. It will happen to all of us at some point in our lives; yet, few of us are ever prepared for the reality that one day you will be without the one you love-your confidante, your helpmate, your bill payer, your soulmate.

When it happens, we are surprised by the irrational emotions we're feeling.

When tragedy happens in a family with a surviving child, it becomes a time for parents to educate their teachers so they will lower their grading expectations because they simply are not going to be able to perform at that higher level they did before their loss.

For those of us who drive, it is a time period where we are more likely to get into an accident or receive a traffic violation. As Dr. Wright points out, it is common for someone to drive 10 blocks and forget they were driving because of their grief.  My wife found a St. Paul Saints ticket from August 2007, but I had to admit that my memory from that period of time was fuzzy- Maria passed just 2 months before. The thing that has helped my wife and me during this journey was Grief Share- a 13-week support group that teaches you how to cope with and survive this journey of loss.

 No matter where you are living, chances are there is a grief share group near you, and simply typing in your zip code will provide you with that information.  I discovered in my journey that God hasn't abandoned those in grief. In actuality, God draws nearer to you as you go through this journey-however long it takes for you. 

"The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald" - Gordon Lightfoot (HD w/ Lyrics)

35 That day when evening came, he said to his disciples, “Let us go over to the other side.” 36 Leaving the crowd behind, they took him along, just as he was, in the boat. There were also other boats with him. 37 A furious squall came up, and the waves broke over the boat, so that it was nearly swamped. 38 Jesus was in the stern, sleeping on a cushion. The disciples woke him and said to him, “Teacher, don’t you care if we drown?”39 He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, “Quiet! Be still!”Then the wind died down and it was completely calm.40 He said to his disciples, “Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?”41 They were terrified and asked each other, “Who is this? Even the wind and the waves obey him!” Mark 4:35-41

Upon the North Shore sits a body of water otherwise known as Lake Superior. Whenever I traveled along the north shore I remember seeing these long orr boats. 

Recently, I remember seeing pictures of the damage the November gales caused to the shoreline of Superior, even destroying a landmark rock in the process. The song sung by Gordon Lightfoot, in my mind, is symbolic for the storms that each of us faces in life. Those storms may seem very different from one person to another. One person may struggle with the loss of a loved one. Another person may struggle over losing their job they had for 25 years.   

Those who died in the wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald left behind fathers, mothers, wifes, children, nieces, and nephews who at the time of their losses now had to work through their grief.  Back in those days, there were few in the way of support available for people encountering traumatic losses.  Many struggled to find solace and turned to alcohol to cope with the innermost pain of their loss. 

While they weren't able to connect the dots, husbands and wives grieve so differently that like two ships passing each other in the dark they fail to connect.  For some, faith becomes the rock that helps them to survive loss because they learned through their personal relationship with their Lord and Savior Jesus that he understands their pain and walks with them on their journey. 

For some who continue to be angry at God in the aftermath of their tragedy, their life becomes complicated with chronic health conditions when the anger damages them on the inside.

Whatever storm you are encountering, share your pain with Christ. Cry out to Him in your agony, and while you do that journal your thoughts each day you wake up. In time, you will discover that your soul will begin to heal from the loss.

Why it is so important to journal or blog your grief story

Isaiah 41:10 (KJV)Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.

Grief can be compared to riding a roller coaster with its unexpected twists and turns much like the roller coaster in the aforementioned video.The more complicated the grief, such as in the case when a loved one commits suicide or is murdered, the more unexpected twists and turns there will be in our grief.

As I reviewed my material for this coming week's Grief Share topic on Complicating factors of grief,  I was reminded of the volatility of grief- especially when trauma is present. 

To begin with, we human beings are emotional.  We react to everyday events and situations.  Ask any mom or dad about their 2-year-old and most likely they will agree.  Our emotions and the way we are wired is what makes us human.  How many of us either feels good or really bad after watching the daily sludge of news?

When we lose a loved one, our emotions can be unpredictable as our nights are filled with flashbacks and nightmares of the one we lost and the way they died. One method that can help us in grief is journaling because writing our thoughts down on paper helps us make sense of what just happened to us. Many of the 'trauma' experts in the latest grief share video see journaling as a way of helping people experiencing trauma a better chance of processing their pain. According to the Ameican Psychological Association, the definition of trauma is as follows: 

Trauma is an emotional response to a terrible event like an accident, rape or natural disaster. Immediately after the event, shock and denial are typical. Longer term reactions include unpredictable emotions, flashbacks, strained relationships and even physical symptoms like headaches or nausea. 

When I first started journaling as a college student, computers were only used by scientists. It was said that the largest supercomputer in the 1960's pales in comparison to the smartphone most of us have today.  

Consequently, in our modern age of social media, blogging has become the newest form of journaling because truth be told, many of us can type faster than we write.  Blogging also has the added advantage that we can set the privacy settings to allow only the people we want to read our blogs.  

Some people blog to be able to have something to share with their grief therapist about their emotional pain while others blog to share with their immediate loved ones so they may know how to pray for them. From a spiritual standpoint, blogging allows God to show up in your life in ways least expected through your dreams and everyday encounters you can write about so in time you feel God hasn't abandoned you in your grief journey.

Your story, like your emotions, is what defines you as a human. The way God shows up in your life becomes God's fingerprint on you- in time, as you see God's miraculous ways, others will be drawn to God through your own story.

Oh, if all of us had a child like faith and trusting what God says in his word.....

Now I lay me down to sleep.

I pray the Lord my soul to keep.

If I should die before I wake,

I pray to God my soul to take.

If I should live for other days,

I pray the Lord to guide my ways.

I love children's bedtime prayers!

One of my favorite things I remember doing with each of my children was praying with them at their bedside. I remember, as a dad, kneeling on the floor first asking if they had anything I wanted to pray with them and they asked me the same question. It doesn't take much in the way of faith for children to believe that God exists.

 In the book of Matthew, one of his disciples asked Jesus who is the greatest in the Kingdom of God. In Matthew 18: 1-5, we read Jesus's response through these words: " He called a little child to him, and placed the child among them. And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me

One of my greatest comforts as a grieving father was this verse in Matthew 18:10-"See that you do not despise one of these little ones. For I tell you that their angels in heaven always see the face of my Father in heaven."

The older we get and the more educated we become, the more enthralled we become of our own importance that we lose God's perspective of what truly is important. We become like Jesus's disciple, Thomas, who responded to the other disciple's enthusiasm that they had seen the Lord with those words, "But he said to them, “Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe.”(Luke 20:25) 

One week later, Jesus appeared in the room of the disciples when he said to Thomas, "“Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe.” Thomas seeing that it was really Jesus said "“My Lord and my God!” Jesus responds to Thomas's doubting with these words,"“Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.”

If we  came to God every time we encounter a loss and trusted that He knows how to help us process our pain, instead of slamming the door shut and hanging a 'do not disturb sign', I believe, in time, we will utter those words of Thomas, "My Lord and my God!." 

Some of our greatest lessons on faith can be learned through the eyes of a child!

God is not some celestial Santa Clause ready to rain prosperity on those who pray, but He is a God who comforts and guides us in our time of suffering.

Where can I go from your Spirit?

Where can I flee from your presence?

8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;

if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.

9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,

if I settle on the far side of the sea,

10 even there your hand will guide me,

your right hand will hold me fast.

11 If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me

and the light become night around me,”

12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;

the night will shine like the day,

for darkness is as light to you. Psalm 139

My heart is breaking for the families who lost loved ones when a terrorist pledging his allegiance to Isis decided to plow his rental truck and mow down ordinary people who were out enjoying the day on foot, on bicycles, or riding a school bus.  

Hearts everywhere are heavy. PTSD is everywhere, it seems, as we try to understand the latest atrocity through our nightmares.  

If there is anything I know about suffering, our Lord Jesus is there to lift you up no matter how you may be feeling. He is there when the tears are flowing freely. He is there for the good times and not so good times.

So often we view God as this celestial Santa Clause who showers us with silver and gold coins. We somehow have this idea that if I pray enough, or read my bible enough that
God will shower me with blessings. 

How many of us, for example, have prayed for a lottery ticket before the big drawing? How many become convinced that we were destined to win the lottery in a dream?  So often, we associate God with the good times of life and when those good times do not keep rolling we blame God.  

When someone loses a child, for example, many are quick to blame God for causing their loved one to die. Some will stop attending church because God stopped being the Santa Claus of their life.

 Others will remove all reminders of God from their home and begin embracing atheism. We become crybabies as though God is only to rain blessings and nothing more.

Truth be told, God is there when we lose a loved one.  He is there to comfort you in your suffering and in your pain.  The Christian life was never about getting rich or building the biggest house, It was never intended to be a gospel of prosperity. If that were so, then how do you explain that to a poor family that is strong in their but lack the trappings of luxury?  God wants to occupy the center of your being. He wants to speak words of hope to help you get through the storm of this life.

Which is why we must never run away from God when bad things happen. We must, instead,  run toward Him every time we are in agony.  We must lean into our grief, embrace each emotion your feeling and be willing to cry out to God your pain. 

Through Jesus Christ, God wants a relationship with you so that He may guide you through whatever life dishes out.

Whatever journey you're on in this life, God is with you as this passage from Psalms reminds us. He, alone, will give you the peace and eternal optimism that will keep you going forward!

Time doesn't always heal our grief, unless you are willing to embrace each emotion of your loss like a surfer embraces the waves of the ocean.

Hear me, Lord, and answer me,
for I am poor and needy.
2 Guard my life, for I am faithful to you;
save your servant who trusts in you.
You are my God; 3 have mercy on me, Lord,
for I call to you all day long.
4 Bring joy to your servant, Lord,
for I put my trust in you.Psalm 86:1-4

There is something to be said when we lose a loved one to avoid making major decisions while we're in the intensity of our grief 

As I reflect on that thought, I realized that when we are in the deep 'lamenting' of our grief, our emotions take us on a roller coaster ride of peaks and valleys.  As long as we are experiencing those wide-ranging emotions, they simply cannot be trusted when making those 'big' decisions.  

While listening to our local WCCO radio station I heard a commercial from the Time Share exit team. It went like this:

"Our family used to take vacations every year to the same time share, but after 'Maddie' died it became too painful to go. Then I heard about Time-Share Exit team and they were able to unload my timeshare!"  

Although I'm not criticising this family making this decision,  I merely want to add that they made this decision based on the intense emotions they were experiencing at the time of their loss.  Had they delayed that decision until they were further along in their grief, they might have still made the same decision, or they might have found ways to create future memories of that time-share.

My wife and I continue to reside in the same home we raised our now deceased daughter. Whereas others might have sought the services of a Realtor to unload their home, we chose to remain in the same home while we worked through the intensity of our pain.  It wasn't easy and at times I questioned my judgment, but today, our home is a place of blessing- a place where family and friends are welcomed.  

If we had chosen to move, we might never be as far along with our grief.  I've listened to stories of others who did move in the aftermath of loss and in many cases they are still unable to drive anywhere near the old house they use to live in because the emotions from their loss are too raw for them.

Which reminds me that time doesn't always heal unless you are able to embrace each emotion of your loss- this will mean crying when you are able to do so, praying out your anger to God knowing full well that God is big enough to handle your anger, and reading the Bible from beginning to end so you can see how God used ordinary people in pain and suffering and finding a good Church filled with people willing to walk with you on this journey.

Each time I feel a 'wave' of grief threatening to overcome me, I remind myself of the past blessings of God.  Our God wants you to recover from your losses and the mere reality that He sent his son, Jesus Christ, to come alongside you on your journey is evidence enough how much He loves you!

One day, you may wake up feeling the holy spirit within you inspiring you to be a blessing to others just now entering their journey of loss.

That is the beauty of being a child of God!