When you grieve the loss of a loved one, draw near to God for your source of comfort

13 May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13

The holidays can be especially painful when those you use to be with during this time of celebration are no longer among you. 

We often remember the by-gone days when grandpa would cut the turkey or grandma took the freshly baked pie out of the oven and where the fresh aroma would fill the air and send loud hunger pangs reminding you that you need food. 

 It can be especially painful for anyone who has ever lost a child through unspeakable tragedy to escape those first holidays when the 'why' questions keep popping up in your mind.  The pain may be so great that you have to retreat to one of the bedrooms to take a nap to escape the pain. 

One of the lessons I would like to pass on when you are hit with those sad moments is to sit for a moment and make a list of everything you're thankful for, past and present, in your life.  I know from my experience that when we do this, we begin to focus on the blessings of God rather than the tragedies of our lives. 

 I would also encourage you to burn a candle (electric one if you're fearful of knocking it down and having the house burn down)  for each family member who isn't there this holiday season.What this does is remove the 'white elephant' from the room. You know, the one that everyone knows is there, but no one talks about it.  

Grief and sorrow tend to masquerade as the elephant in the room where, like eggshells, people gingerly walk around the subject of their loved one no longer there, but no one wants to talk about them for fear causing the floodgate of emotions seeping in.  

It is when we don't allow ourselves to talk about it that makes each of us feel worse. Finally, remember grief requires us to lean into all of the emotions of our loss. The old adage, "time heals all" isn't accurate because someone who refuses to work through the emotions can typically feel many years later the original pain of their loss- as though the loss just occurred when in fact it had been 10 years ago. 

 Our God has been a source of many blessings over the years, but we wouldn't know if when the lingering pain of our loss continues to fill our minds.  

I would encourage everyone dealing with losses ( men and woman) to consider committing yourselves to a 13-week griefshare group  www.griefshare.org to help you understand and recover from grief. 

 Finally, when we're dealing with loss try to commit to going to church.  The pain may still linger as you walk into the sanctuary and you may not feel like singing as those around you are, but the benefits of listening to God's word or receiving an encouraging word from a friend will help you heal from this pain.

 I want to wish everyone a wonderful and blessed Thanksgiving!