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Wednesday, November 1, 2017

Time doesn't always heal our grief, unless you are willing to embrace each emotion of your loss like a surfer embraces the waves of the ocean.


Hear me, Lord, and answer me,
for I am poor and needy.
2 Guard my life, for I am faithful to you;
save your servant who trusts in you.
You are my God; 3 have mercy on me, Lord,
for I call to you all day long.
4 Bring joy to your servant, Lord,
for I put my trust in you.Psalm 86:1-4


There is something to be said when we lose a loved one to avoid making major decisions while we're in the intensity of our grief 

As I reflect on that thought, I realized that when we are in the deep 'lamenting' of our grief, our emotions take us on a roller coaster ride of peaks and valleys.  As long as we are experiencing those wide-ranging emotions, they simply cannot be trusted when making those 'big' decisions.  

While listening to our local WCCO radio station I heard a commercial from the Time Share exit team. It went like this:

"Our family used to take vacations every year to the same time share, but after 'Maddie' died it became too painful to go. Then I heard about Time-Share Exit team and they were able to unload my timeshare!"  

Although I'm not criticising this family making this decision,  I merely want to add that they made this decision based on the intense emotions they were experiencing at the time of their loss.  Had they delayed that decision until they were further along in their grief, they might have still made the same decision, or they might have found ways to create future memories of that time-share.

My wife and I continue to reside in the same home we raised our now deceased daughter. Whereas others might have sought the services of a Realtor to unload their home, we chose to remain in the same home while we worked through the intensity of our pain.  It wasn't easy and at times I questioned my judgment, but today, our home is a place of blessing- a place where family and friends are welcomed.  

If we had chosen to move, we might never be as far along with our grief.  I've listened to stories of others who did move in the aftermath of loss and in many cases they are still unable to drive anywhere near the old house they use to live in because the emotions from their loss are too raw for them.

Which reminds me that time doesn't always heal unless you are able to embrace each emotion of your loss- this will mean crying when you are able to do so, praying out your anger to God knowing full well that God is big enough to handle your anger, and reading the Bible from beginning to end so you can see how God used ordinary people in pain and suffering and finding a good Church filled with people willing to walk with you on this journey.

Each time I feel a 'wave' of grief threatening to overcome me, I remind myself of the past blessings of God.  Our God wants you to recover from your losses and the mere reality that He sent his son, Jesus Christ, to come alongside you on your journey is evidence enough how much He loves you!

One day, you may wake up feeling the holy spirit within you inspiring you to be a blessing to others just now entering their journey of loss.

That is the beauty of being a child of God!

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