We must not underestimate the power of a father in the life of his family..some thoughts

16 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16

My dad, like most dad's raised in the post depression era had this false hope that all that was required of them was to provide a living for their families. In the era I grew up in it was very common for mothers to stay home with their kids while dad's went out to work. 

 The most searing memory I have of my dad wasn't this macho man working long hours and sitting around the dinner table, but it was when he broke down crying upon learning the news that his brother Roger died on the operating table after undergoing open heart surgery. The memory I had as a child was all four of us comforting this very broken man crying like a baby upon learning that the last remaining person of his immediate family had died.  Through this one instance, he taught me that it was OK for men to cry.

I believe so much brokenness in the world we live in can be attributed to stuffing our emotions deep into our inner vaults thinking those emotions will never rear their ugly heads, and things will go on like they did before things were broken- this is a lie.

So many people are using drugs and consuming alcohol, in my opinion, to attempt to erase the inner pain in their lives.  Instead of leaning into their emotions and crying like my dad did upon learning the news of his brothers death, they are turning to substance abuse as if that were the magic formula for coping with pain.  Substance abuse leads to other problems like losing one's job, developing relational problems with their family to committing crimes of passion against the very people we supposedly love. 

As I write this, we learn of a family of 3 in Wisconsin killed in a murder-suicide inside their rambler home while people in their community are asking why did this happen?  

When men and woman are taught to bury their emotions through working long hours, pain will soon follow.  If we are not attending a Church to develop your relationship with Jesus Christ, then we're likely grabbing a hold of the thing that we think will help us with our pain- substance abuse, illicit affairs, or working longer hours.

The shortest verse, and my favorite verse, is the one from John 11:35 'Jesus wept'. Jesus responded this way after learning that his friend Lazarus had died.  Jesus taught us that it's OK for men to cry  whenever brokenness enters our lives.  

When we give ourselves permission to cry, we may finally break the cycle of addiction and build stronger relationships with those we love.

To my dad, thank you for showing me the human side of you when you cried upon learning the news of your brothers death.  You taught me that my emotions hold the key to my brokenness.