The danger of our anger addiction and what it does to our bodies

to open their eyes and turn them from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan to God, so that they may receive forgiveness of sins and a place among those who are sanctified by faith in me.’ Acts 26:18

As I was preparing for facilitating tonight's session of Grief Share on the topic of Guilt and Anger, I began reflecting on the health of people worldwide.  What I see is a widespread of anger, guilt, and a lack of forgiveness.

If we understand and accept the reality that grief and loss happen to all of us then we must understand when there is a loss there will be anger and lots of toxic emotions from those losses- with many of those toxic emotions remaining embedded in whole family systems for decades.  Amazing how something your ancestor did can impact the entire family tree, but it does.

Since the advent of cable television and the invention of 24 hours 7 days a week news, many of us are become addicted to the images of tragedy much like some becomes addicted to Cocaine.  We need that daily fix to satisfy our anger- whether it is hearing what Steve Bannon, Bill O'Reilly or any media for that matter has to say.  Our anger begins to fester with each angry word out of the mouth of those whose income thrives when they can make you angry.   Somehow, our world needs a method of coping with all that anger, and it seems that the way people process their emotional anger is through alcohol and drugs. 

Somehow, we tell ourselves we have to numb those painful emotions- so we strike up a relationship with a drug dealer, or we find the nearest liquor store for that gin and tonic to help us feel better when the pain becomes so great that it causes those deep nightmares and all those flashbacks the keep us up every night.  

When we lose a loved one, we dwell on the cause and try to find someone to blame to our loss. For some of us, this may include spending years trying to find an attorney to bring a medical malpractice against the doctor we deem responsible for their death. 

While it may seem to be a good thing to want to find out the cause their death,  the danger is our grief recovery stops which cause our anger to grow. As we become so focused on finding the culprit, our anger continues to grow affecting our organs underneath the skin's surface. When you combine the effects of our anger with our cultures most acceptable method of coping with pain, drugs, and alcohol, it literally triples the impact damage it does to our bodies.  

At the extreme,  we blame God for all of this anger in our bodies. We reject God by walking away from the one true healing source we have. We stop going to church because after all, 'if God is so good then he wouldn't have allowed my loved one to suffer like this.  If God is so good, I wouldn't hurt so much! If God is so good, my loved one wouldn't have died!

I began reflecting on the decision our family made early on after our daughter's passing-  no matter how we felt from Sunday to Sunday, we were always going to worship our Lord Jesus Christ. 

No matter how much we hurt inside, we were going to place one foot in front of the other and attend Church.  Invariably,  there would be true 'God' moments where people came alongside us to encourage us with a word from scripture or a dream they had that helped us heal. 

Our faith in God can truly heal us from our pain. Our faith can make us stronger and keep us from the dangerous effects of alcohol and drugs.  As you reflect on your pain, reflect also how much God truly loved you when more than 2000 years ago He sent his son Jesus to die on the cross for you, just so you might have an easier time to draw near to him when bad things happen to you. 

Trust God like I did in 2007 and I can assure you that in time, at a timetable that is right for you, God will help you heal from the guilt and anger of your loss. On another time, I will share the healing that took place after I wrote my letter of forgiveness to our daughter's doctor and the time we shared grief journeys in a beautiful meeting with him. God truly knows the bigger picture and He will help you recover from your pain.