Our children become extensions of ourselves right down to the voice inflection. Some reflections from Harry Chapin's song 'You knowwe'll have a good time then.'

Train up a child in the way he should go;
    even when he is old he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6

My child arrived just the other day
He came to the world in the usual way
But there were planes to catch, and bills to pay
He learned to walk while I was away
And he was talking 'fore I knew it, and as he grew
He'd say, "I'm gonna be like you, dad
You know I'm gonna be like you"

This song was perhaps my dad's favorite. I suppose he saw himself like most men in the role of watching time slip away with the worries of everyday life slipping in. The burdens of work will do that to people, not just men, but women as well. From the time our kids were little, we are encouraging their independence. As we introduce them to same-age classmates, we are saying goodbye to them, and it doesn't get any easier with time.

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man in the moon
"When you coming home, dad?" "I don't know when
But we'll get together then
You know we'll have a good time then"

 It is important not to beat ourselves up over the should's of this life. You know, I should have introduced my child to that hobby, or this hobby, Each parental style is as unique to the child that is raised. Some families do a lot of outdoor things like camping, hiking, while others take play indoor games, have pizza and movie nights,  A family with a special needs child will experience life a little different from a family with physically active children. 

My son turned ten just the other day
He said, "Thanks for the ball, dad, come on let's play
Can you teach me to throw?" I said, "Not today,
I got a lot to do." He said, "That's ok"
And he walked away, but his smile never dimmed
Said, "I'm gonna be like him, yeah
You know I'm gonna be like him"

It doesn't take much to please a child. A child doesn't need elaborate planning on the part of the parents to make them happy. Sometimes, simply talking to them or going out to their favorite restaurant is all that is needed to make them feel special.  Our families weekly ritual was going to church  and then  going out to eat afterward where we had a time of fun conversation and laughter.

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man in the moon
"When you coming home, dad?" "I don't know when
But we'll get together then
You know we'll have a good time then"

Well, he came from college just the other day
So much like a man I just had to say
"Son, I'm proud of you. Can you sit for a while?"
He shook his head, and he said with a smile
"What I'd really like, dad, is to borrow the car keys
See you later. Can I have them please?"

As kids get older, they take on more responsibility and time becomes even more fleeting. . The important thing as parents is to avoid missing those opportunities. It doesn't take much to please a child no matter what the age. All they really want is to hear words of affirmation from their mom and dad, and a blessing. The words I often heard growing up were the words from a book that they read to me, 'The little Engine that could'.  I remember my  mom and dad's  voices echoing in my head, ' I think I can, I think I can, I think I can', as though it were just yesterday. Simple words of affirmation are precious and more valuable than gold to a child.

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man in the moon
"When you coming home, dad?" "I don't know when
But we'll get together then

You know we'll have a good time then"

I've long since retired and my son's moved away
I called him up just the other day
I said, "I'd like to see you if you don't mind"
He said, "I'd love to, dad if I could find the time
You see, my new job's a hassle, and the kid's got the flu
But it's sure nice talking to you, dad
It's been sure nice talking to you"

We're staying with my wife's mom in a tiny town in Northwestern Minnesota, a town where everyone who has kids has had to learn to  say goodbye because small towns simply do have the opportunities once they graduate.  Each time her family came home,I remember her tender heart as she said goodbye to them  at the conclusion of their time together in the midst of tears and wet eyes.

 Saying goodbye is never easy, regardless of the age.

And as I hung up the phone, it occurred to me
He'd grown up just like me
My boy was just like me

Our children become like us, right down to our voice inflection! They become the extensions of ourselves. I discovered that one day as I watch my son ask the retail clerk how her day was going.  If we do our jobs right, they will exhibit the godly qualities that the suffering world needs.

 /

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man in the moon
"When you coming home, dad?" "I don't know when
But we'll get together then

You know we'll have a good time then"

Songwriters: HARRY F. CHAPIN, SANDY CHAPIN

© Warner/Chappell Music, Inc.

For non-commercial use only.

Data from: LyricFind

God isn't this cosmic Santa Clause ready to shower us with gifts that bring us lots of joy, but God is like a loving dad who desires to know how he can meet you where you're at.

7 “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. 8 For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened. 9 Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? 10 Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? 11 If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him! Matthew 7:7-12

We live in a game show culture where we've come to expect the big toy behind door number 1, or the world wind cruise behind the letter 'A' or the million dollars behind the lotto ticket we just purchased. Anything short of that means feeling sorry for ourselves because we're poor; despite the reality of having a roof over our head, a car to drive, a bus to take, and two large grocery stores within blocks from each other, and a job  that helps us pay for those things.

In this era of luxury, we've become accustomed to having a life of leisure without thinking about the ramifications of what might happen to our society if EVERYONE  stopped working and instead sat on the beach drinking margarita's?.

Is there any wonder our spiritual lives grow cold, the well within  us stays empty even though we have this stuff?

It's all in the  words we use when we pray to the heavenly father. If we were to see God as a loving earthly father, instead of a cosmic Santa Clause, we just might see ourselves plugged into the very source that keeps us going, going and going.

One of the many blessings as  a dad is slowly realizing what all this means. As a dad, my greatest time is when my son comes to me with his heartfelt concerns.  It is those moments I  listen to him, and pray. , I am reminded of these words from Matthew 7:7-12:7 “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you."

Just as I derive my greatest joy in having my children come to me with their worries and concerns, just think how much more meaningful when we call out to the God in heaven with our worries and our concerns?

It is often  when we are in the midst of suffering that we truly understand this verse. It is when we cry out to God when the EMT called the time of death, or the pink slip arrived in the mail that we cry out for God to rescue us and meet us where we're at. 

 We're not asking for the fancy car behind door number one or the cruise behind the letter 'A' or that the lotto ticket be a sure winner, but we are simply asking God to help us recover from the  depths of our pain by meeting us where we're at.

As I read about the conversion stories of former Muslim's turned followers of Christ, I am reminded that God hears their heartfelt cries for help in the midst of their pain. For many, He is choosing to reveal himself to the un-reached in their dreams.

So, the next time you pray to the God in heaven remembers it isn't what you say, or how polished your words are when you pray, but the heart felt meaning behind those words you use.

 In many ways, we can learn from our Christian brothers and sisters in the poorer countries. They may not have much in the form of material possessions, but their hearts are  filled with the joy of the Lord because he met them where they're at.

As you drive to work this morning say a word of thanks for your job, for the strengths you bring to your job and ask God to bring a blessing to your co-workers, like an encouraging word or  a bagel bunch from Panera's or Brueggers. 

 If you have a roof over your head, access to transportation, you have been incredibly blessed!

Dear younger me, the story behind the song

11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare[a] and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11

I entered the room now filled with the morning sunlight filtering in through my den window. I sat down in my tall den chair.  As I listened to the story behind this song, I began to reflect on what I too might tell my younger self. If only my younger self could know the things his older self-knows, then things would be all right. I bowed my head in prayer and then wrote as though the words flowed naturally on the surface of the screen.

Dear younger me,

If I my older self can encourage you, it would be this way. If I had a do-over in this life I would laugh more, try new things even if I failed, and taken the risk of getting to know people, on a deeper level, until, they became my friends.

 I would not be afraid to express my feelings of sadness and I would tell more people when those feelings hit me; for I know now that  hiding my feelings hurts me more and robs people the joy of getting to know the real me/because deep friendships flow out of my inner pain and suffering.

I would believe in myself more, try new things knowing full well that God has got my back and wants the best for me. I would trust God more, doubting him less as the seasons of emotions surround me. When death happens, I would allow myself to grieve, telling myself that things will get better with time.

 I would play harder, enjoy life fuller and experience nature. I would enjoy seeing new places, not alone, but with friend's because I know now that friends are like the pretty colors we add to a plain canvass; the canvass of me.

I would journal more my reflections, my inner turmoil and I would read more of the Gospels for it is in those gospels that my Jesus is  explaining  to me how to do life. Life, my older me has discovered, is something that we all have to learn how to do on our own.

My experiences are what shapes me into the person I am today and I shouldn't be ashamed of those experiences thinking that I am some sort of freak of nature nobody wants to risk getting to know. Younger me, you are a very good person. Your life is in good hands because Jesus has hold of you despite the pain of hurt words and bullying. Those experiences will shape you to become the older me you will become.

So embrace your pain and trust me when I say that God has very good things in store for you in this life.  Also, trust me when I say that God has a plan for you in this life, and He isn't done with you

So, enjoy this gift of life for you were created by God who simply doesn't make mistakes!

Sincerely,

Older Me

When I finished typing I turned off the laptop, turned off the light and closed the door to my den, reflecting on all the many blessings through the years of my life. I momentarily reflected on the prayer of salvation I made as a youth at Minnetonka Community Church and thought quietly how God has never dissappointed me in this life.

How is it that the one who created this world desires to have a relationship with me, just an ordinary man with flaws imperfections, who is more comfortable doing what is wrong, than right?

2 Blessed be the name of the Lord from this time forth and for evermore.
3 From the rising of the sun unto the going down of the same the Lord's name is to be praised.
4 The Lord is high above all nation's, and his glory above the heavens. Psalm 113:2-4

How is it that the one who created this world

desires to have a relationship with me, 

just an ordinary man

with flaws

imperfections,

who is more comfortable doing what is wrong,

than right?

How is it that you, oh God, desire to set my life

on solid ground when,

I  by my choices

go off on the rocky path?

How is it that when suffering and horrific losses come my way,

while others are running from me,

while alone in my misery,

you, alone, are the one who comforts me?

Who wants to walk with me, 

to give me the hope,

the world cannot show me,

to reveal that no longer have to

keep climbing that invisible ladder,

trying with all my might,

to do enough good works to earn your approval?

How is it that it was your sacrificial giving of your son

Jesus Christ, that 

has given me hope?

The hope that when things go bad in the world,

you speak to me in that inner voice

the wonderful gift of your holy spirit

whispering blessed assurances that 

in the midst of horrific loss

you re there for me?

How blessed is your name in all the earth!

How blessed are the words of your salvation

to everyone who chooses to hear your voice!

How is it that the one who created this world desires to have a relationship with me, just an ordinary man with flaws imperfections, who is more comfortable doing what is wrong, than right?

2 Blessed be the name of the Lord from this time forth and for evermore.
3 From the rising of the sun unto the going down of the same the Lord's name is to be praised.
4 The Lord is high above all nation's, and his glory above the heavens. Psalm 113:2-4

How is it that the one who created this world

desires to have a relationship with me, 

just an ordinary man

with flaws

imperfections,

who is more comfortable doing what is wrong,

than right?

How is it that you, oh God, desire to set my life

on solid ground when,

I  by my choices

go off on the rocky path?

How is it that when suffering and horrific losses come my way,

while others are running from me,

while alone in my misery,

you, alone, are the one who comforts me?

Who wants to walk with me, 

to give me the hope,

the world cannot show me,

to reveal that no longer have to

keep climbing that invisible ladder,

trying with all my might,

to do enough good works to earn your approval?

How is it that it was your sacrificial giving of your son

Jesus Christ, that 

has given me hope?

The hope that when things go bad in the world,

you speak to me in that inner voice

the wonderful gift of your holy spirit

whispering blessed assurances that 

in the midst of horrific loss

you re there for me?

How blessed is your name in all the earth!

How blessed are the words of your salvation

to everyone who chooses to hear your voice!

'Miracles From Heaven' tells girls amazing story of healing

18 I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us Romans 8:18

A simple noontime trip to Costco lead me to a conversation with a grieving father. This dad started a hearing aid business in the Buffalo area years before that I often frequented  because of his ethical and honesty with customers; something he was appalled with others who value making massive profits over helping their customers save money.

. When I saw him  our conversation ventured on the topic of each of our kids. I, like an enthusiastic father, shared the news of my son. Then, I asked him about his kids. I noticed a slightly longer pause and hesitancy in his voice until he shared about the sudden loss of his youngest son.

He described getting the call from his daughter at 7:00 am on a Sunday morning.  His son  apparently was on pain medication for his hip pain and decided to go out with some friends for a few drinks. As a dad, he didn't have to say anything more about this loss for I knew the pain and what it is like to lose a child suddenly like this. 

He said something I have heard echoed through the years, "there is no greater form of grief than for a parent to lose a child." He described how this type of loss affected each member of his family in different ways/

I've learned that life is not necessarily a conglomeration of 'joy' experiences where we spend happy times with friends always celebrating and never experiencing pain.  Life is being willing to be the hands and feet of Jesus and walk alongside others who are suffering.

 Just because we suffer in life does not mean that God has abandoned us; contrarily, some of our greatest 'joy' experiences in life flow out of our pain and suffering.

I ended the day exercising on my Schwinn Airdyne stationary bike while watching 'Miracles from heaven.'  

This movie is about the faith of two 10 -year -old girls with life- threatening afflictions.One was miraculously healed when she fell down a hollow tree and had an out of body experience with Jesus Christ. The other girl was given the peace of God when she was reminded by the other little girl that God is with her. That young girl's dad flew down to Texas where he became a testimony of his now deceased daughter's faith in the final 2 weeks of her life. 

  This film illustrates all the miracles that we may not necessarily see every day, but when we examine  our lives for those moments we have to see them as miracles because, simply, there is no other explanation. 

I  was reminded, once again, that God loves every one of us, and he hasn't abandoned us when pain and suffering come our way. 

 We may not necessarily see the big picture of our suffering, but  by faith accept that God knows what he is dong with our lives, and in time will reveal to us how this suffering shapes our lives for the positive.  

So, the next time you feel the incredible pain from your loss, just know that God is revealing little miracles to you as a reminder of his love  during this season of  your life. 

Perhaps, we need to rethink how we support our sports where the name of the game is to hurt the other's brain?

Last night, my wife and I watched the movie 'Concussion' about an immigrant medical examiner doctor who stumbled upon concussive brain disease when he did the autopsy on Iron'Mike Webster, who played 17 years in the NFLwith the Steelers, earning 4 super bowl rings in the process. 

He simply wasn't himself as he struggled to adjust to life with bad investments, unpredictable moods and anger outbursts. In the book entitled, 'League of Denial' the autopsy found that Mike Webster revealed chronic traumatic encephalopathy or CTE The doctor who performed the autopsy was a Nigerian-born doctor named Bennet Omalu, who decided to study Iron Mike's brain even using his own money to do so when county funds to do so were cut. 

In the city of Pittsburg where the gridiron god's reign, it isn't easy to go against them. Once Dr. Omalu discover the  findings of Mike Webster's brain disease he thought the NFL would embrace those results and do something about the problem, but this was not the case and instead, the NFL formed their own committee to study this syndrome. The committee formed by the NFL interviewed their own 'experts' and T sent its findings to the medical journal Neurosurgery.s. "They publish in that journal repeatedly over the period of several years, papers that really minimize the dangers of concussions. They talk about [how] there doesn't appear to be any problem with players returning to play. They even go so far as to suggest that professional football players do not suffer from repetitive hits to the head in football games." (http://www.npr.org/2013/10/07/229181970/when-it-comes-to-brain-injury-authors-say-nfl-is-in-a-league-of-denial) Another article elaborates further on how the NFL manipulated data to come up with a far different conclusion than Dr. Omalin. It was later discovered that the NFL formed committee actually withheld data that didn't agree with it's own conclusion.(http://www.nytimes.com/2016/03/25/sports/football/nfl-concussion-

research-tobacco.html?_r=0

In a few weeks, the Minnesota Vikings will be showcasing their new Billion dollar stadium for these titans of football, and we, as loyal fans will run to the nearest living room  and absorb every hit, every catch and every victory without realizing the profound consequences those hits are having on the long-term health of these players.

For example,Dave Duerson was a long times safety, a defensive back for the Chicago Bears- and had the reputation for being a ferocious hitter was a successful businessman after football who was on the committee giving out disability payments to retired players who believe that Duerson was a shrill to the league and the unions trying to keep players from getting the money, until that is, when he left a suicide note and shot himself in the chest so his brain could be studied. According to Fainaru-Wada, Duerson words tell all about his own affliction:

"My mind slips. Thoughts get crossed. Cannot find my words. Major growth on the back of skull on lower left side. Feel really alone. Thinking of other NFL players with brain injuries. Sometimes, simple spelling becomes a chore, and my eyesite goes blurry ... I think something is seriously damaged in my brain, too. I cannot tell you how many times I saw stars in games, but I know there were many times that I would 'wake up' well after a game, and we were all at dinner."

And then on the last page, it's almost as if he had remembered something that he had forgotten: "Please, see that my brain is given to the NFL's brain bank."

Fainaru-Wada: Indeed, his brain was studied, and it was found to have CTE.

Sadly, we live in a society where we would rather sacrifice the pensions of hard working middle income earners just so we can write a billion dollar check for the most prestigious game in town- the NFL and we do so to keep 32 NFL families wealthy and happy.

It also seems  we would rather laugh or make fun of someone who displays the behavioral symptoms and treat it as though it were a mental disorder while denying the root cause of those behavioral problems. We would rather treat it with medications rather than listen to the stories of those who are afflicted by the unexplained behaviors of a concussion. Keeping it in the dark spreads untold misery to loved ones tormented by a family member with this brain disease.

The movie ' Concussion' was an eye-opener for me, and one that should change the way we play the game of sport. While it might not be as exciting to see head slams banned from the game, it is a necessary step we must take for the long-term health of the sport; if we fail in this area, then it will only be a matter of a decade before mothers decide that football is a much too dangerous of a sport to play and  will forbid their son's from playing this sport- at that point there won't be enough profit to sustain it, and the sport will become extinct.

Accountability isn't just for the weak minded, my story

Colossians 2:7English Standard Version (ESV)
7 rooted and built up in him and established in the faith, just as you were taught, abounding in thanksgiving.

In only a few  hours I will be getting up at the crack of dawn to join with several other Christian men for a time of accountability, prayer, and bible verse memorization. This has always been the purpose for my life.

When I accepted Jesus Christ into my heart in the spring of 1974, the seed had been planted in the fertile soil of my soul. The seed took root and in time God's purpose for my life became more evident: it was a life of accountability. 

While others around me fell to the lusts of the world, God had total control over me. When I was feeling worldly pressure to conform to the sin's of the world, God lead me to Pastor Lester who introduced me to a stronger Christian man who agreed to meet with me for a time of prayer, and sharing wisdom from the word of God he learned through the years. I discovered that I did not have to yield to those worldly temptations, but I could set my mind on the higher calling in my life.

It is never easy to choose this higher calling; not when worldly friends try to convince you to  lighten up and enjoy the lusts of this world.  But, I knew that while choosing a life of accountability may not always be the most popular thing, it was the right path.  

My decision to meet with Pastor Lester and then this nearly retired Christian man lead me to a Navigator 2:7 men's discipleship bible study where I would soon learn that 'iron really does sharpen iron'. I learned many lessons from my accountability with these men; I am not alone in this world and God truly loves me. These godly men becamse my life long friends who were there when I married my wife and experienced the joys of my becoming a father. They were also there when losses in life occurred.

Even in my greatest tragedy of my life, God was there for me, While. I continued to trudge along wounded, God kept me in accountability relationships with other Christian men  so my ideas of self could be examined in the light of what God says in the word of God. 

The seed that had been planted in 1074 was growing into a mighty tree, filled with everything spiritually good for me.

It isn't easy to live in this world. Worldly temptations will come. You will be subjected to life's sufferings. The recent tragedies in France and England, and the daily killings  by ISIS   assure us of that, but through it all God has given each person the gift of the holy spirit to guide you on this painful journey.

As I look back over my career, I can see now that as God kept his watch over me, I could see others who might have chosen the worldly path fall by the wayside, wounded and slaughtered all along life's path.

 Famous celebrities who thought they had accomplished the American dream who woke up only to find they were on the wrong ship.

No matter where you are are on this journey we call life you can make sure you're on the right path. Jesus Christ is standing at the door of every humanity's heart and he is knocking. Can you hear him? Jesus knocks again. I encourage you to open that door and invite him into your life with this simple prayer:

Dear Jesus,

Through the years I have lived life selfishly and I have fallen for the worldly pleasures of this world. I know now that you Jesus came to die on the cross for my sin's You died to give us the free gift of eternal life and the peace that no matter what happens in my life you will always be there for me. I open the door of my heart and invite you in to be my guide and walk with me on my journey. I want a life of accountability, to keep me on the correct life's path, a life of growing in God's love and spiritual truth.  Thank you, Jesus, for your free gift of salvation!  I claim the promise from 1 John 5:13 

1 John 5:13 - These things have I written unto you that believe on the name of the Son of God; that ye may know that ye have eternal life, and that ye may believe on the name of the Son of God.

As I look back on my life, I have no regret for the decision I made in the spring of 1974. Jesus began to guide me on this path called life, no matter what tragic endings have occurred. This was and continues to be the most exciting journey of my life. Won't you consider giving God a chance?

If ever there is a lesson from the recent tragic events it is this: embrace your loved ones and telling them you love them...time is fleeting and we simply do not know how much is left.

9 In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. 1 John 4:9

If there is anything that all grieving people have learned in the recent days it is this: time is fleeting, we simply do not know how much of time we have left. Philando's mom knows that all too well as she prepares to bury her baby in the midst of media attention. Never in her wildest dreams did she ever think she would outlive her child. None of us do for that matter. Thinking she would help her son celebrate his 33rd birthday, she is now left with the emotions of remembering all of his previous ones.  

Thinking she had a lifetime of future memories with her son, with grandchildren and his friends, she is forced to reconcile not only the primary loss of her son but all the secondary ones she got to know through her son. Her son's death has forced all of us to seriously look at the dangers of racism.

Life is fleeting. The occasional  losses we all encounter is a reminder of the importance of embracing those still with us. Stephen Stills, lead singer from Crosby, Stills and Young remind us of that thought with his lyrics from 'Love the one you're with'.  Although this song is primarily about girl-boy relationships and their heartaches, it is a song about cherishing those still with you. 

Well there's a rose in a fisted glove

And the eagle flies with the dove

And if you can't be with the one you love, honey

Love the one you're with

You gotta love the one you're with

You gotta love the one you're with

You gotta love the one you're with

This is often  harder  to do in life when our minds drift back to the ones who are no longer with us, and not on the ones still in our lives. 

This is, perhaps, the cruelest thing about life.  We are born and celebrated for the first 15 years of life with festive birthday celebrations filled with balloons, streamers, noisemakers, and lots of fanfare from family, but the partying ceases when those we previously knew in this life gradually begin disappearing, leaving nothing but the memories of them to fill our minds. We dwell on those memories and forget the ones still very much alive.

In the midst of pain and suffering, there is hope. God understands what you are experiencing when you look into the casket of your loved one. He is making it right for you. You may not see it now, but He si reminding you that the death and resurrection of his son, Jesus Christ, has made it possible for your love one to spend eternity in heaven while promising to give you the gift of the holy spirit to help you weather the pain of your loss.

So next time your mind drifts back  to the one who no longer is with you, learn to embrace the ones still here and tell them how much you love them. Remember, all of us grieve.  Life is about saying goodbye to friends and family as they step off the moving sidewalk of life while saying hello  new friends brought to you on your journey. 

Be the change you want to see in the world around you........

12 When he had washed their feet and put on his outer garments and resumed his place, he said to them, “Do you understand what I have done to you? 13 You call me Teacher and Lord, and you are right, for so I am. 14 If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another's feet. 15 For I have given you an example,that you also should do just as I have done to you. 16 Truly, truly, I say to you, a servant[c] is not greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. John 13:12-16

One simple sign, one simple message, hung by the employee entrance at work. For many of us, this week with the tragedies of the traffic stop shooting, the sniping of 5 Dallas police officers has left us in shock and in emotional pain.For some of us, we're asking God those usual 'why' questions. Why God, did you allow this to happen....I thought you were supposed to be a 'good' God, but this doesn't feel good because it HURTS. We mistakenly assume that if we do right God does right and we would all be filled with a pollyannish joy, immune to the pain around us.

Be the change..... a simple phrase, I' m sure, that have people scratching their head wondering what the heck it means in a world of blessed assurance and entitlements. Yet, that phrase is a simple reminder of the incredible power that lies inside each of us who accept Jesus Christ into their hearts.

Be the change.......as amazing as it seems, when Jesus enters into our being he goes right to work, cleaning and scrubbing our innards of the pride, jealousies, lustful desires that make us see people as objects.....he rids our lives of the things that get in the way of living life filled with joy and hope.

 He makes us clean so it is easier for us to be the change that impacts the world around us.

Be the change.... means we are no longer to be 'victims' tossed to and fro, like a boat on an open sea on waves that hit like hurricane force winds wondering when those waves would toss us helplessly into the water 

When Jesus takes the helm of our ship, he becomes our captain who helps us navigate through the painful forces of life. It is tragic that lives were lost this week, and equally tragic that lives were forever changed through their own actions of the moment. Yet, Jesus can take the absolute worse tragic ending and give us a  new meaning that forever impacts the lives around us.

The girlfriend who filmed the live encounter of her boyfriend's demise, her very action may open up some serious discussion on the prejudices and racial divide that split this country. It is sad that she had to lose her loved one in the process, but rather than falling into a victim mentality she can search for meaning and get people to seriously debate this issue. 

Her tragedy may very well do more in this countries view of race relations than all the speeches done by Martin Luther King, famed civil rights leader.https://youtu.be/I47Y6VHc3Ms 

For all who have made the decision to accept Jesus into their life, you have the power to effect the world around you. People are crying right now. People are in agony over what is going on in the world they live in. Many of them may have given lip service to God, but never fully acclimating Him into their lives and still many are falling victim into the trap of learned helplessness as though they are cascading down a slide of never ending discouragement  But because of what Jesus did in your life you can come alongside them and share the hope that only Jesus has for their own life. You can lead them in the prayer of salvation, a prayer that will radically change them and give them new meaning in a world with none.

In effect, you can be the change that can forever impact the people you meet in the world around you.

Be the change in a world you want to see in the world around you....a simple, yet profound phrase that is so much needed by mankind today!

I want you to rethink your propositions on terrorism: consider that the number one reason why young men pusue Issis is attributed to growing up in fatherless homes, or homes that are void of emotional attachments with a supported father figure.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

Through this post, I want you to re-think all of the ideas of terrorism that have infiltrated our minds through the media and consider this plausibility: that the number one reason that extends through every country of the world, across all cultural and religious or non-religious boundaries why young men and woman pursue terror groups such as Isis is connected to the very prevalence of fatherlessness in our world.

In an article found at http://goodguyswag.com/how-absent-fathers-may-be-contributing-to-isis-recruitment/, they found that there is growing evidence that the primary reason why young men pursue Isis or other related fringe groups is the lack of a father in their lives.

According to the writings by Robert Blye and Gordon Dalbey, a man sees God how he sees his earthly father. If a man has a distant or cruel relationship with his dad, he will likely see God as distant and cruel. This same argument applies to young girls, as well.

Gordon talks about gangs in Sons of the Father. When boys have an absent father, whether physically or emotionally, they tend to be more violent. He goes on to equate the growth of gangs with the rising numbers of fatherless homes. “In 1960, 11% of American children lived in homes without a father. By 2009, that figure was 33%. Today, over 50% of children born to women over 30 are out-of-wedlock…The problem is most clearly defined among African Americans, where 64% of children live in father-absent homes.”

The great society of the 1960's under President Johnson's administration did much to destroy the fabric of the American family when his policies made it more lucrative for families to earn more money through the AFDC program when dad removed himself from the home.

As much as woman's rights like to proclaim, mother's alone can never replace the powerful influence of the father, the source for their children's validation.

Young men are ultimately drawn to gangs because they are hoping to be validated, but the argument both Bly and Dalbey make is that you cannot receive your identity as a man from peers.

True validation can only come from a father or father figure.

In this context, Isis is not a religion but a violent gang that is made up of young men drawn to it by the violent verses in the Quran. 

Change their color of their skin and keep  them fatherless, the statistics remain true with many young men drifting toward lawlessness because they never had a dad to validate them as a man. Gangs, whether they are affiliations with the 'Bloods' or the international gang known as Isis is a way for a neglected man to receive validation.

According to the federal definition, a gang is defined as consisting of the following:

An association of three or more individuals;

1.Whose members collectively identify themselves by adopting a group identity, which they use to create an atmosphere of fear or intimidation, frequently by employing one or more of the following: a common name, slogan, identifying sign, symbol, tattoo or other physical markings, style or color of clothing, hairstyle, hand sign or graffiti;

2.Whose purpose in part is to engage in criminal activity and which uses violence or intimidation to further its criminal objectives.

3.Whose members engage in criminal activity or acts of juvenile delinquency that if committed by an adult would be crimes with the intent to enhance or preserve the association’s power, reputation or economic resources.


With this definition in mind, it becomes evident that Isis has become an international gang which uses fear and intimidation tactics, and under the guise of religion commits murder, rape and sex trafficking. Western young men may be recruited the same way when Isis offers them a sense of identity. However, true identity comes from having a father or father figure in his life that is a gentleman and is willing to pour his life into them.

In one sense, we guys have it all wrong in pursuing the sacred cow of success of 6 digit salaries, multiple job titles, prestigious corner offices to the exclusion of our families, thinking that once we complete one more level of success they will have more time for their children; the problem is time is fleeting and before they realize it, their children are fully grown and have moved on with their lives. Their wives can be the canary in the coal mine and warn them that their children need them, but oftentimes those warnings are heeded much too late.

I discovered this at a recent wedding when I had the acquaintance of a conversation with another dad. He shared with me that he never really knew his father and the last time he saw his dad was when he was twelve, but then he said this, " I had a friend's father pour his life into mine who was affirming and taught me how to be a man by teaching me the things his own dad never did. So, there is hope for the rest of us who never had a healthy father role model because of their physical absence from our lives, or for others their emotional absence.

My challenge is this. What if the Christian church were to reach out and support our fathers in the community? What if we find a way of keeping our fatherless boys by sponsoring them much like we sponsor children from Compassion International? As a Compassion sponsor, I have seen how my monthly support and encouraging letters mean to a child in poverty. My willingness to pour my life into them by affirming and validating them as a person gives them a hope and a future that their lives matter. Simply sharing my story of Jesus's redemption and how he delivered me through pain and suffering lets them know they are not alone in this world. I would venture to guess that if all of us did this for our fatherless boys and girls we would see the same result.

God continues to be in the miracle making business. He continues to use people who have been through the most incredible pain of their lives to help others, and I am reminded of this verse from Jeremiah that sums it up quite nicely: " For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."