Coping with the loss of a child on the anniversaries of the loss

Proverbs 27:17

Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another

As the anniversary of our loved one's death occurs we are often flooded with the emotions of their loss. During this time memories of our loved ones return. We often cry easily.  I remember talking with a couple of fathers who tell me that on the anniversary of their child's death  they make it a point to take the day off from work just so they can grieve without the interruptions of work assignments.

As a dad the anniversary of our loss is approaching. June 4th the day she went into the hospital to have the orthopedic surgery.  June 10th was the day she came home, supposedly to heal and be ready for the physical therapy appointments in the following week. Those appointments would never happened. Nor would her return for the start of her 5th grade at Meadow Creek Christian school that fall. It has been 7 years since our daughter passed away and though the tsunami of daily emotions of our loss have subsided our family still have those moments around the anniversary of her loss to work through. All families who have loss a child or sibling understand.  

It is natural for well meaning friends to ask us why we don't just move on in life and accept that he or she is gone. For some of us talking about our loss is a way of sorting through the emotions of that loss. To avoid talking about it only leads to other inappropriate ways of coping such as illicit drug use and alcohol usage. 

The woman you are about to see in this video decided to use her son's death as a platform to talk to others about the dangers of using recreational drugs or what I refer to as the entrance drug of Marijuana and the more powerful drug of Heroine. What this mom discovered  after her son's death was that Heroine has once again returned to the college campuses in a more powerful and deadly form. She was going to use her tragedy as a deeply wounded mom to warn others about the dangers of drug overdoses. 

Our daughter passed away when the very pain medication that was meant to help her failed to metabolize in her young 10 year old body.  The early morning hours, like this mom in the video, started off with the 911 call and the frantic attempts to resuscitate her before they decided to call the time of death. Since her loss I have discovered how dangerous Narcotic Codeine is to the bodies of young children.  So dangerous that even a very tiny dose will cause a severe respiratory depression causing death.

My platform are two fold: (1) help other families cope with their losses, and (2) educate others on the dangers of these Narcotic drugs on young children. I will keep on talking until I read the front page article that reads, 'Congress passes bill to outlaw prescribing Codeine for pain control.'  Europe has already done this as well as some American hospitals. Why not the rest?

Finally, I encourage others who have experience the loss of children to reach out to others and talk about the loss.  Be open with people and do not be afraid to share your emotions with them and if you do not feel safe sharing about your loss find a trusted therapist to share your loss. As the verse I chose for this blog attests one man sharpens another.