I learned talking to my neighbor why I started my blog several years ago.

I was reminded tonight why I started blogging and developing my website several years ago when I was talking to my neighbor Russ after getting home from work. I hadn't seen him for several months. His wife Julie died 3 years after our daughter from her battle with breast cancer. I was drawn to his house because I noticed a for sale sign in their yard. They moved in the same time we moved in years ago.

 For some reason I have a way of opening people up and getting them to share with me their thoughts and feelings.  Russ was introduced to a lady by a church friend a year ago. He finally met her at Christmas time 2012. She lost her husband when he died from the affects of agent orange. He was a Vietnam war veteran. Connie and Russ dated for a year before deciding to marry on Valentine's day 2014. 

I asked him if he had experience triggers living in the home after Julie died. He paused and I reminded him that emotional triggers are a normal reaction to grief. He then told me that he had a very hard time being in the home and  often would work 50-60 hours a week just to stay away from the house. I shared that this was the same way for me after Maria died and at times I couldn't go by her bedroom without the things in her room triggering a emotional reaction in me.

  I mentioned that in time things started getting better for me and when triggers did occur the pain was much less pronounced. Our family continues to live in our home.  My theory behind why people have these triggers is because they operate like the typical grieving American by working their grief by working too much.  In other words, they avoid all emotions of their pain and suffering by burying their grief in work. They bury their emotions.  The problem with this method is you aren't really going through your grief process by working. What you are doing is postponing your grief for another date in the future when it revisits you. When God made each of us he gave us tears to shed so that when someone we love dies he wants us to shed those tears  no matter how long it takes to get through the process of grief. 

I encourage you to face the pain of your grief head on and do not be afraid to cry and allow God to walk with you on this journey. In time the room your loved one slept in will have new memories for you to cherish.I am posting this 4 minute video for anyone just now entering grief process. I hope it helps you with the journey you never asked for.