QR codes placed on the headstone allows for anyone to scan the code and instantly access videos of their loved one !..

He sets on high those who are lowly, and those who mourn are lifted to safety. Job 5:11

Everything is connected these days through our smart devices.  You have Amazon Echo who provides information at the drop of a   hat.  Your Fitbit device records your steps, heart rate, blood pressure and even uploads it to your digital health coach. Who could ever think these smart devices can do so much?

We live in a mobile society where people live farther away from the loved ones who died. Time and expense keep people separated from each other.  I found it refreshing that someone thought outside the box and came up with a way to help loved ones stay connected. This separation between time and space makes the grief process harder for some. 

The good news is our modern technological society has created a way for all of us to know more about the person that died than simply reading the date of birth and death on the tombstone.     

The living headstone with the OR code that is placed on the stone turns this ordinary headstone into a living memorial of the person with by simply using your smartphone device.   Simply by scanning the barcode on the marker, one can instantly watch videos of their loved one, read their obituary, and with the site administrator's permission enter their own memories of the person that died.

Just think of the joy your family will have as you scan the barcode of your son or daughter who died tragically and being able to pull up the videos of the fun times you had with them? Think of the smiles that you will create as their now grown up friends are able to scan and watch their old friend on their smartphone device?

They say that one of the hallmarks of healing from one's grief is simply talking about the loss. Well, if you ask me, the use of this living memorial will go along way with helping others heal, as well as help keep their love one memory alive.

You know those milestone markers you use to watch on those long road trips as a child?

18 I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. Romans 8:18

As a child, I have countless memories of taking road trips with my family.  One particular memory was our cross-country trip to Washington D.C. in our family's Corvair Monza. As I look back, I have to give my parents the medal of bravery for coming up with ways of keeping 3 kids entertained.  Part of the entertainment included being the first person to see all 50 state license plates, and when that wasn't enough counting the milestone markers to our next stop.

I love watching for those milestone markers. In a sense, it is a reminder to me that we're almost to our destination. Whether it is a road trip to the mother-in-law's place or a road trip to Disney world, those marker's kept our minds focused on the destination

As profound grief can be when we lose someone special, we need those marker's to remind us that though we still have a ways to go before we can feel half-way normal again, we're getting closer to recovery from our emotional pain.

Each day following our loss is like those highway milestone markers- a time to reflect on the progress you've made on your grief journey. 

 Which is why it's important to journal those milestone moments. Those moments where you have a dream of your loved one, or you see a bush they planted that is blooming full of flowers, or discovering one of your loved one's letters or a picture they drew. In a sense, those markers become 'God moments' on your journey.

As you make progress on this journey, remember to take care of your self.  By that I mean drink lots of water, exercise, and avoid the high fat, high starch or the high sugar foods that are so easily consumed because they make us feel good.  

Comfort foods may for a moment make you feel better, but in the long run, they can cause more harm to the body than they are worth.

Remember, you have this pain because of the love you had for that person.  In a sense, you cannot grieve for them unless you had loved them.

Finally, remember that God loves you so much that he sent his son, Jesus, to walk with you one milestone marker at a time on your journey of grief.

For anyone who is experiencing problems with coping on this journey or you feel that God had abandoned you, I encourage you to explore GriefShare.org at this link. GriefShare is a 13-week cycle support group that will teach you how to go through the journey, not around it. www.griefshare.org

Remember what it was like when you finally reached your destination when you took the collective sigh of relief while taking in the sheer beauty of that place?  When you reach the completion of your grief journey, at a pace that is unique to the love you had with the one who died, you will look back and see all of those God moments of Jesus walking with you on your journey!

Let me tell you about my dad, a United States Marine who fought during the Korean war.

Sigh.... the Korean war was the forgotten war. My dad never talked about his service. To him, it was a mission, a job that needed to be done. When he came home from that service responsibility, he began his career as an Electrical Engineer first with a Chemical company on the east coast, then coming home to Minnesota where he began his career with Northern States Power Company. He also met the girl he would marry and settle first in a rental house not far from Lake Harriett and then in a 3 bedroom rambler in the city of St. Louis Park.

My dad taught me two things in life. First, the importance of hard work, and second it is okay for men to cry. 

The point I want to high light is the second one.  There were two times I was aware of where I actually saw my dad cry. One was when we were all sitting around the kitchen table when my dad got the call from a family member informing him that his only surviving member of his family, his brother, died on the operating table, His heart was badly damaged from his earlier battle with Rheumatic Fever- so much that there wasn't anything the doctors could do to save him.

The other time was when I called him on June 10th to let him know that his granddaughter died the first night home after her surgery at Gillette Children's hospital. In both cases, the cry from my dad was the bellyaching, heavy sobs variation- something I will never forget.

In one sense, it seems incongruent for this former United States Marine, tough guy image to lose his emotions like this, but in another sense, it served as a reminder for the rest of us guys that it is okay to cry when we sense the bubbling up of our emotions.

In fact, I may speculate that if all of us would allow our emotions to rip open to allow the healing tears to flow, we just may see the lessening impact of  PTSD and a reduced desire to drink alcoholic beverages just to down our sorrow.

Men. we need to give our son's and daughter's permission to cry whenever sorrow comes their way in this life filled with many losses.

Thank you, dad, for being part of my life.  One more thing.  You would be proud of your grandson for the man he has become, 

Finally, thank you for your military service during the Korean War. Your service has not been forgotten.

As we navigate through our pain and suffering after a loss, God promises to use you as a blessing in the lives of others just now entering their own pain

Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they will be called children of God. Matthew 5:9

Memorial day conjures all sorts of emotions in the lives of people. To the family of a missing veteran, it brings to the surface their pain one more time when the two well-dressed military officers showed up to their door with those heart-wrenching words- "we regret to inform you....."

To the family who lost their son in a police shooting, it conjures up fresh wounds and all the 'what if's' and the images of that night.

To the family whose family member died from a medication overdose, it brings questions of 'did we do enough to prevent this from happening?

To the family whose son or daughter might have tragically died in a traffic accident, it brings fear like symptoms whenever they pass the scene of the accident.

To the family whose family member died while on the operating table, the raw emotions when the doctor came out with tears in his eyes while saying, 'I'm sorry'.

To the professionals who treat the sick, emotions come bubbling to the surface whenever they think of someone they could have saved and didn't.

To the emergency medical technicians who walk out of a house of child they could not save, it brings back doubt that I cannot do this job anymore.

Life is filled, at times with pain and suffering, something I wish we could simply avoid but cannot.

But, the most amazing thing about Christianity is how God takes all that pain you're going through and prepares you while you're going through your own suffering, to one day be a blessing to others. While God intended for your loved one to remain with you, he does the next best thing of equipping you to help others. 

The next time you're tempted to turn to alcohol to soothe your inner hurts, turn to the pages of the Psalms or the Gospels for if you do you will find the healing salve you've been looking for. For in those pages you will discover that Jesus died on the cross for you and me and desires to draw near to you during your suffering.

As you venture out this morning, look for ways to be a blessing to others.  

Make a difference, a drive-through, difference and write a letter for the car behind you telling your story of the difference KTIS 98.5 made in your life during your suffering and pick up their tab.

Then kick back with that Caribou coffee you just bought and watch what a difference you made in your immediate world. 

Like the peddle tossed into the pond, you will see the ripple effect of that blessing.

After watching the Pulse crusade and watching the response to the gospel message that this world is in a better place with this younger generation!!

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28

On Friday, we had yet another school shooting in a school in Santa Fe, Texas. In a matter of seconds, 10 people lost their lives.  For all those students and staff, the morning started off uneventful as kids got ready for school, ate their bowl of cereal while getting last minute instructions from their mom and dad.

 I don't think it ever occurred to those parents that morning routine would be the last time they would see their child alive. Authorities tell us that there were no warnings from this particular school shooting- at least nothing that was on anyone's radar.  Once again, trauma fills the atmosphere of a town marred by death. On that same day, I found a budding evangelist who spoke at a Pulse crusade at US Bank Stadium, home to the Minnesota Vikings.

I remember when Reverend Billy Graham died how many people felt there wouldn't be another preacher like him to share the good news.  After watching most of the Pulse crusade and seeing how Nick Hall was able to simplify the gospel message so it reaches the tangled hearts of our young people, I now see how God is using this young person to reach a new generation for Christ.

When he asked the 50,000 plus crowd to turn their cell phone light on if they need Jesus in their life and watching those lights go on, I knew God is using this man to share his message to reach them.  

The gospel message followed the  My Pillow personal testimony of Mike Lindell who found Christ after a battle over addiction. His story touched everyone there and gave them hope that Jesus Christ can help anyone in the throes of addiction or painful traumatic experiences.https://salvationarmynorth.org/2015/12/my-pillow-founder-opens-up-about-addiction/

The people who prayed to receive Jesus into their hearts have a story to share with the world in need to find such hope.  As most of you know, my story is how God helped this angry and grieving father overcome the loss of his daughter.  Your story may be something else that helps capture others for Christ.

Listening to Nick Hall share the gospel at a nearly packed US bank stadium made me realize that God continues to choose men and woman of God to share His message, a message that needs to reach a world filled with traumatic grief.

Oh how He loves us!

Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we[a] have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2 through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we[b]boast in the hope of the glory of God. 3 Not only so, but we[c] also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.

There is nothing more powerful than to hear a transformational story of how Christ changed someone's life after tragedy, disappointment, a prolonged health problem or a addiction that from a human standpoint seemed impossible to overcome. Yet, every single day God transforms peoples lives.  They say when a person prays to receive Jesus into their hearts and truly mean it there is no turning back to the way things were before Christ. 

If everyone who personally knows Jesus was to tell their story to someone living life in a hopeless race, just think of the amazing changes that could take place in the world around them.  I'm reminded of the song 'This little light of mine, I'm going to let it shine' as a reminder that people need to hear our stories of hope.  

In this world, there are people who are suffering without hope. Without Christ, it is impossible for them to overcome the grief of losing a loved one. Like sinking sand their feet dig deeper and deeper, making it impossible to be free.  Yet, Jesus Christ wants to rescue them from the quagmire of despair and set their feet on the solid rock of Christ.

What is your story? When did you pray to receive Christ in your heart?  What was your life before Christ came into your life and what was your life like after Christ?  

Grab a cup of coffee and listen to these powerful testimonies and ask yourself this question? Do you know Jesus and was there a time in your life where you prayed to receive Jesus into your heart? Then, pray to the Savior and ask Him to write your story so that the world may know how Christ changed your life.

Lastly, you may want to pray that your Church does a cardboard testimony as a way of helping believers to share their stories to a world that needs to find hope.

Why, oh why, must I suffer...don't you care about us that you delight in the suffering in us?

Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, “My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.” Matthew 26:39

So often after reading the latest news reports about the on-going suffering in the world we live in we find ways to blame God.  We get a diagnosis we wish we never got and we curse God.  We read about yet another child that dies and we lash out at God for his seemingly careless disregard to allow this to happen. 

 For some reason, we have this idea that God should be this celestial 'Santa Clause' always lavishing gifts down on us. In a sense, we equate time spent in prayer and the ritualistic treadmill of church attendance with more gifts, more praise, and more prosperity from God.  Yet, at the first sign of that diagnosis we receive, or that tragedy we just assume never happened we royally blame God, and for some, we walk away and hang up our faith as just another something that doesn't work.

We fail to see that in this life will be suffering and that life isn't always a bed of roses forever blooming, but there will be moments of walking alone in the desert wondering why we hurt.  At times, our pain may be too much to bear, but if we trust our living Savior, the same Savior we trusted for our eternal life, we will begin to see the fuller picture of our suffering in our lives. 

If we would only trust Jesus, instead of drugs and alcohol, we would see that He will walk with us through our journey.  If instead of going to happy hour and downing a high ball to end this awful day, we sit beside some picturesque setting reading  any one of the Psalms while gently reflecting on those words spoken by men of previous generations, we will begin to see God's active role in our lives as we go through our own excruciating hard times.

God does not want us to reject Him when those horrible life events come your way. 

No. God wants you to embrace your Savior Jesus and trust him with your pain.  It is only when we accept the reality of our suffering and all the pain that occasionally comes our way that we begin to feel the loving embrace of our Savior. 

Our God truly does have a purpose for our suffering.

The upcoming wedding of Prince Harry and Meghan Markles may be the most watched wedding for one simple reason..we learned through Harry the importance of talking about our losses.

Praise the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and the God of all comfort. He comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any kind of affliction, through the comfort we ourselves receive from God. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

The upcoming royal wedding between Harry and Meghan Markle may be the most watched wedding for one simple reason- Prince Harry's willingness to speak out about his mum's death after shutting down his emotions for 20 years. Why? Because he speaks for all of us who have ever tried shutting their emotions following a traumatic loss. 

 Prince Harry understood the ramifications of shutting down those emotions and wanted to spend the rest of his remaining days helping to demystify mental health so people aren't unduly labeled and shun because of their emotional pain.

As he begins talking about his grief, something beautiful happens to him. He encounters others, like him, who suffered grievous losses. He discovered the more he talks about his loss, the greater is the healing that comes from those conversations. He also discovered that those conversations help others heal from their grief.

Then something beautiful happens to him, again.  He falls in love with a beautiful young lady willing to understand what he has been going through when his mum, Princess Di. died in that fiery car crash in Paris.

 As I recall, Meghan wanted to help Harry honor his mum's memory by going with him to her gravesite.  I can only imagine the healing that took place as these two embraced each other's tears.

Because Harry was so brave with talking about his pain, many of us feel we have a personal connection to Harry and  Meghan. So when we turn on the television to watch this royal wedding it is as though we're watching personal friends getting married.

If anyone is encountering unbearable grief over the loss of a loved one, I encourage you to go to this link and find a 13-week grief share group near you. This group will teach you the skills you need to go through the pain of grief, not around it. 

Finally,  God is bigger than all of our pain. He truly understands what you're going through with your loss. Embrace this pain while placing one foot in front of the other and worship God every week at a Church you decide to attend. You may not feel like going to Church because of what you're experiencing but go anyways because, like me, you may encounter well-placed individuals in your life who may have an encouraging word for you.  

The more you talk to others about your loss, the more your pain is diminished each time you do so. www.griefshare.org

The key to recovering from your pain is by putting one foot in front of the other and keep trusting your Savior and Lord.

33 “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world, you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33

It seems that many of us won't leave this life before experiencing grievous losses, pain, heartbreak, and tragedy so unsuspecting that we will succumb to the depth of s despair so deep that we will question whether God truly loved us in the first place.  

The preparation I put into my life's journey began in the spring of 1974 when I accepted Christ as my Savior.  As  I grew in my faith, God used the discipleship training through Campus Crusade and the 2-year commitment through a men's discipleship group to build a firm foundation for the yet unforeseen things in life.

What is going on in the world with the 'Me too' movement and the fall of celebrities illustrates for me why we need God in our lives. Just this past week, we saw Allison Mack, actress in the Smallville series appear in court on sex trafficking charges stemming from her involvement in a multilevel marketing group NXIVM
In addition, we witnessed the conviction of  'America's dad', Bill Cosby, on the charges that he gave woman Quaaludes to 'relax them'.

Bill McCartney, affectionately known as 'Coach Mac' was coach of the University of Colorado football team when he had the vision to start a men's movement to revive the hearts of men toward God. This movement had sold out Stadium conferences which included national Christian leaders who spoke to the heart of men. There were hundred's of thousands of men who turn their hearts toward God.

I was there at many of those conferences. When the conference came to the Metrodome, I came with my dad and brother. 

I remember those 7 principles of a Promise Keeper were well worth incorporating into my life, more now than ever in light of the 'Me too' movement. 

As I encounter the 'unforeseen' things of life, I'm reminded more and more how much I need to adhere to the promises of God in the precious book of life- the Bible.

 I would venture to guess if every man who reads this post decides to commit themselves to God and incorporates all 7 principles that there would be such a revival of hearts in this country that it may change the course of this nation.  I would even surmise that woman will find such a freshness in the men they meet that would help them feel safe around them.

7 Promises of a Promise Keeper.

1. A Promise Keeper is committed to honoring Jesus Christ through worship, prayer, and obedience to God's Word in the power of the Holy Spirit.

This means reading the Bible every day and attending a Church service to worship our 'living Savior'.

2. A Promise Keeper is committed to pursuing vital relationships with a few other men, understanding that he needs brothers to help him keep his promises.

This means finding a group of men who aren't afraid to ask each other the hard questions in life in order to keep each other accountable. It also means gathering together for the study of God's word and lifting each other up in prayer.

3. A Promise Keeper is committed to practicing spiritual, moral, ethical, and sexual purity.

This means setting boundaries like tighter restrictions on what you view online by blocking questionable websites.  It means cherishing the wife you have and honoring her.


4. A Promise Keeper is committed to building strong marriages and families through love, protection, and biblical values.

This means being the spiritual leader of your home by making sure you make Sunday worship a weekly ritual you must not neglect.  It means loving your children and leading them to love Christ with all of their minds and their souls.
 
5. A Promise Keeper is committed to supporting the mission of his church by honoring and praying for his pastor, and by actively giving his time and resources.

This means praying for your Pastor as he prepares for his message each week. It means finding ways to compliment and encourage your Pastor.

6. A Promise Keeper is committed to reaching beyond any racial and denominational barriers to demonstrate the power of biblical unity. 

This means reaching out to people of all races and loving them because they too were made in the image of God.  It also means we must confess to God for the times we made racial slurs to others.  It means finding ways to better know people of other races through fellowship opportunities.
7. A Promise Keeper is committed to influencing his world, being obedient to the Great Commandment (see Mark 12:30-31) and the Great Commission (see Matthew 28:19-20 ). Mark 12:30-31

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.


The second is this: Love your neighbor as yourself. (NIV)  

You may not love your neighbor, but God commands us to break down the barriers that exist that prevent you from knowing your neighbor.

Matthew 28:19-20 Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age. (NIV)

Many years after the unforeseen loss of Maria, my now college-aged son texted me to tell me that because he saw that his dad wasn't about to quit the faith, he wasn't either. Our children are watching us. What they see us do or the path we pursue will be the path they most likely will follow.

We may not like some of the 'unforeseen' things in this life, but I assure you if we continue to keep the promises of God we will recover from the pain this life brings.

Knowing how to grieve ought to be a essential skill we developed when we're young

Life, they say, is filled with moments of absolute joy

and other times deep despair

I see this whenever I attend services to honor a loved one who died

Whereas, the grown-ups will be huddled in small circles of 4

sharing memories of their loved one

Children are playing cat and mouse on the Church lawn

Oblivious to the reality of the depth of their parent's soul

at such a moment as this

Whereas, grown-ups shed tears

Children want to play

It is a reminder to me how God protects the most vulnerable 

from grieving

While embracing the grown-ups and walking with them

through the desolate valley

offering, at times, promises of His love

that He will bring you through the pain

and lift you up out of the depths of your soul

setting you, finally, on solid ground 

where once

you can look back and see how God rescued you

Once you're healed from this grief

God will help you heal the children

who

years later are encountering their own depths of their soul

Finally,

you begin to see that your loving Father 

has

a perfect plan for your life!