Deliver with care

“Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble, Matthew 6:34


Ever wrapped a Christmas gift that was fragile and tried mailing it and before you mailed it you made sure you had the right box, the right padding and you made sure there was a snug fit so it wouldn't rattle around in the box?  When you brought the gift to the post office you made sure the postal clerk stamped Fragile and handle with care all around the box and when you turned around and head toward the door you could have sworn you heard the clerk tossed the carefully wrapped box into a  cart like he was trying to spike the ball?
Ok, I just made that one up, but you get the point.

 This is what happens to the surviving child when one loses one. You wrap that child up all nice and neat and you stamp fragile all over him or her and when they leave home to go to say a party you worry until they return home

. Part of you has experienced enough pain that you want to avoid at all cost going through the same experience all over again. We think we have  control by wrapping up our loved one and stamping fragile and handle with care all over the package, but the reality is we never had control. We had the illusion of control.

 Letting go and letting God have control is what we as parents must learn to do with our surviving children. Letting go of our child and allowing them to experience life without the handle with care and fragile stickers is in a way relinquishing that control to God and placing the child in His rightful hands.

 After all if God can create the world in 7 days then don't you think he is capable of watching over your child and keeping him or her safe?  As parents of a deceased child we must learn to avoid protecting our remaining children so they grow up with traumatic neuroses that makes it difficult for them to experience life to the fullest.
 By relinquishing our control we remind ourselves that we do not control what happens in this life. We know with confidence that if something should happen to our remaining surviving child they will be immediately ushered into the very presence of heaven by the King of Kings and Lords of Lord Jesus Christ. That is the beautiful part of being a Christian



beautiful news of being a Christian.

President Lincoln and his wife Mary Todd were no stranger to grief

Arguably it can be said that Abraham Lincoln will go down in history as the greatest President this country has ever had because of the Civil war and how he lead this country back to unity.  Lincoln's greatest accomplishment was the passage of the 13th amendment outlawing slavery and involuntary servitude in the face of great animosity and threats that he was behaving like a dictator. There is another reason I admire Abraham and Mary Todd Lincoln. They are also text book examples of what can happen when the grief of losing a child happens to a couple.

Abe and Mary Todd lost not just one child, but  3 children: Edward (Eddie) Baker Lincoln: Born March 10, 1846 in Springfield, Illinois. Eddy died quite young in Springfield, Illinois on February 1, 1850 from pulmonary tuberculosis. He was only 4 at the time of his death. Their second son, Willie, died at the age of 11 on Febuary 20, 1862 from Typhoid fever.

When Willie died they did not get a lot of support from the Washington establishment when insensitive comments like "at least you got to be with your son when he died."  Their son, Tad, died at 18 from tuberculosis. He was shown in the movie as an 11 year old dressed in a children's military uniform and riding a small cart attached to a young pony riding through the white house.May the record also show that  when Mary Todd was only 6 years old her mom died and despite her dad remarrying almost immediately to another woman  who would become her mother she never attached to this woman's  effort to raise her.

Grief can be such a  powerful emotion that we forget it's impact on the our psychological state. One scene from the Lincoln movie showed Mary Todd sitting in a darken room looking at the picture of her deceased son and weeping. In another scene Abraham Lincoln tells his son Robert not to enlist because he cannot bear the thought of losing him.  Against their wishes Robert enlists and rose to the status of Captain . In another scene showing President Lincoln and Mary riding in the horse drawn carriage back to the white house when Abraham acknowledge  to his wife that they had been sad far too long.  Only those who have lost a child truly understand the emotions behind those comments.

Historians had not been kind to Mary Todd Lincoln often referring to her as 'crazy' and 'insane' without necessarily connecting the dots and realizing that this couple had to bury 3 children. In those days there certainly was not the documented literature on the topic of child loss as there is today.  There are lessons we can learn from this couple. One, losing a child creates very real emotions in us that need to be processed.  Second, there is a need to be able to tell our story of  loss over and over again with people we can trust. Thirdly, before we come to any conclusions about a person's mental state we must first be willing to walk in their shoes. We will find when we do that President Lincoln and his wife, Mary Todd did the very best given the tragic losses handed to them and contrary to popular opinion at the time they did not lose those children because of bad parenting.

When President Lincoln was shot while watching the theater production it was said that Mary Lincoln emotionally died that night with her husband. The loss of 3 son's along with the tragic loss of her husband had become too much for her to cope on her own.

We are in many ways fortunate to live in the age we do with all of the available services to help us process our grief.  The loss of a child does not have to be the end of the world for us. Getting involved in grief groups and finding a place to worship and fellowship with others can be the beginning to healing.  Because of what Christ Jesus did for us we have a Savior who wants to walk with us on our forlorn journey whatever that may be.

memories, sentimentality, and triggers and Gotcha day

But as for me, I know that my Redeemer lives, 

and he will stand upon the earth at last. 

26And after my body has decayed, 

yet in my body I will see God!b

27I will see him for myself. 

Yes, I will see him with my own eyes. 

I am overwhelmed at the thought! Job 19

January 18th, 1995 was a day my wife will always remember as the day our lives went from being a family of 2 to one of three.It was a day we walked into a clean well run Catholic orphanage in Cuenca, Ecuador and were presented with our son with a Hispanic name of Diego Patricio.

 For the next two weeks he remained Diego Patricio until we could agree on a more American name to give him. It wasn't until our family attended a morning and evening church service at a English speaking church in Quito that God laid it on our heart the name to give him. It was at the morning service that the Pastor spoke at length out of the book of James did my wife and I look at each other with the same expression that maybe our son should be given this name. We returned for the evening service where this time he spoke out of the book of Matthew. Diego Patricio now bacame James Matthew. For those who may not know James is the American translation of Diego.

 Our final week in Quito was spent at a Missionary guest house where we met many very encouraging families who had wonderful things to say about our new son. Some of what they said have turned out to be prophetic. The lady who helped us with the Ecuadorian paperwork said that she could see him playing the Saxophone,  Little did we realize that this would indeed become the instrument he would play!

Through the years we would celebrate James Matthews 'gotcha day' going out to eat at a restaurant of his choice. When James adopted sister came into the world we did the same thing with her.  Yesterday, we decided to bring out son to the Rain forest Cafe at the Mall of America. It seems that the older we become we get more sentimental about things. Sitting below the multiple mechanical gorillas I recalled gatherings gone by with family members who are no longer with us. My wife's dad didn't really care for the Rain Forest cafe because of the noise level. My dad didn't really care for MOA because of the sheer size of the place. My mom  couldn't really hear because of the sheer volume. All of them were there because of their grand children.

As we sat trying to enjoy the moment with our son I couldn't help having my mind drift back to the relatives from our past who no longer were with us. At one point I asked James what Maria might say as we sat at this table and James looking up at heaven with this grin and saying " I guess we may never know."

 Our parents were getting older and at one point we knew that their lives would reach an end where they would no longer be with us, but never in our wildest dreams did I think that Maria would stop being James earthly brother and daughter to us.  There is no book or script that teaches parents how to respond when their child dies and there isn't a book that teaches friends how to respond to a family in crisis of having lost a child.

The hardest thing about losing a child is how the family dynamics change forever. The surviving child has to learn the art of being an only child. Parents have to learn when and how to bring up how their other child died without making other people feel bad while at the same time wanting to keep their deceased child's memory alive.

I remember when I was much younger watching my mom suddenly grow teary eye and thinking that she was getting sentimental again.  Looking back I am sure she was reflecting on gatherings gone bye of relatives she once knew who were no longer with her.

When our son was much younger I remembered how we spent part of the time at MOA in the Train store where our kids could play with the Thomas the tank engine toys and push them along the wooden track. Today we went between the Mac and Windows store where our son played with the computers.

As I wiped the sentimental tear from my eye I began reflecting how God must have thought as he watched his son being crucified on the cross as curses were slung at him. The next day when the stone was rolled away and Jesus came back to life it occurred to me that because of what he did on the cross we will live forever in a place called heaven and one day all of us would see Maria and all of the by gone relatives again.

It is hard to believe that our son, James Matthew ( formerly known as Diego Patricio) is a senior in high school.  As we close out this chapter we look forward to watching his new chapter unfold.  Our son is an amazing young man who has been through much with the loss of his sister, but his strong faith reminds him that Jesus is walking with him wherever he goes and no matter what happens in this life Jesus will help him through it.

Do you hear the voice of the Lord?

14 “I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me— 15 just as the Father knows me and I know the Father—and I lay down my life for the sheep. John 10:14

Chatter, noises, competing voices, are grabbing for your attention all day long. Talk radio stations are full of lonely people trying to express their unsolicited opinions so they may have find relevance in a seemingly meaningless existence.  It seems the louder an opinion is expressed the more irrelevant is that opinion

My son came home and mentioned that his classmates had been having a conversation about the illuminati, conspiracy theories and the new world order. When I heard this I smirked a little because this conversation has been going on since I was a kid. I remember when the first George Bush was in office how people were convinced that he was part of some diabolical plan to bring in the new world order My son was of the same mindset as I was that whether these conspiracy theories exist or not  it still is not appropriate conversation for those who call themselves followers of Christ. 

 Recently, I saw an article in the Star Tribune that really poignantly gets my point across on the dangers of these conspiracy theorist or as the paper referred as the "Truther's".  Apparently, there have been people who believe that the New Town tragedy was part of the government conspiracy  to remove guns from people and some of them have been tormenting a certain grandfather with E-mails that the New Town Tragedy never happened. Really? You tell this to a man who  saved the lives of some of these children by harboring them at his home across the street from the New Town elementary school. Really? How mad can some people be to put all of their daily energy subscribing to these propositions and upsetting people who tragically lost their children?

As believer's of Jesus Christ we need to tune in to his voice. Johne 10:14 makes it abundantly clear that Jesus is the good shepherd and he knows his sheep and his sheep know him. I am thinking of the illustration of a simple GPS sitting on the dashboard of most cars. It is a very useful device and if it is programmed right will get you to where you want to go. Jesus is like that GPS device. He stands far ahead of you trying to get your attention, but with all of the unwanted clatter, noises that seem to surround our senses we are unable to see him and some follow the wrong voices. To really see and hear our shepherd's voice we need to spend time in his word. His word becomes the mechanism for us to clearly see and hear him and as we more clearly see and hear him in his word we are able to more accurately follow him.

On this day who are you following? The Truther's who believe that the New Town tragedy was part of some overall government conspiracy to take away your guns? The illuminati who you believe is part of the government effort to start a new world order? Or that Jesus Christ is who he says he is in John 10:14 as the good shepherd who knows his sheep and his sheep know him and follow him? As we follow Christ our more appropriate response to New Town is to reach out and volunteer to sit with them as they go through the painful months ahead that will no doubt be part of their lives. This is exactly what I think Jesus has in mind for us to do.

In heaven with our friend Paul

Act 1

Philippians 3:21
[Jesus Christ] who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body.

When we one day see our Savior we will exchange our weather and time beaten earthly bodies for our heavenly one. This is the exchange I see take place in Heaven's equipment room.  Jesus is in the equipment room ready to greet each person as they newly arrive. In comes a 60 year old man dressed in his work clothes. He walks with a limp and has a large gash on his head from a fall.

Jesus: Paul, it is good to see you.

Paul: Jesus, is that really you?  Am I really here?

Jesus:  Paul, you are really here. Your time on earth has concluded.

Paul:  How did I die?

Jesus:  You were in a car accident. A speeding car crashed into you. Our heavenly angels came down and met you at the scene.

Paul:  That must have been when I felt this incredible peace.  I felt this warm glow that told me not to worry.

Jesus: You gave your life to many people Paul.  I am so proud that you became an organ donor.  Your heart is going to a young man with a degenerative disease heart a new life.  Your cornea's are going to a young school teacher with failing eye sight. Your lungs are going to a 17 year old who will now have a chance to breath and live life to the fullest.

Paul: I really love you Jesus. You were there for me whenever I called your name.

Paul::  I remember how you came and rescued our family when our young child died. I felt this warm glow when you and your angels rescued our family. Much like I do now!.

Jesus:  Paul, when you accepted me into your life when you were a kid I never forgot you.  I watched you grow up into a handsome young man.  I was proud of you for taking a stand for other kids who were defenseless and picked on.

Paul: Jesus, I could do that because of the strength you gave me.  I had nothing to fear when you were guiding me.  You helped me with all of my decisions in my life.

Jesus: I was a simple prayer call away.

Paul:  I remembered not really knowing what I should do in my time on earth and you answered my prayer and helped me to pick my vocation.

Jesus:  You were a very gifted therapist.

Paul:  I loved my line of work.  Each time I saw a patient I knew you were there giving me the right words to say and you were there helping me guide each patient.  My work didn't seem like such a burden.

Jesus: Work is never a burden if you choose something you are truly gifted in.

Paul: Almost like playing is to a child.

Jesus:  I was proud of you for volunteering on all of those mission trips.  There were many people who were strengthened in their walk with me because of your witness.  I remember one young man on one of your trips. He seemed insecure and how he walked in his own shadow.  He was impressed with how you lead the group and what care you took to make each member feel welcomed.

Paul:  What happened to him?

Jesus: That is the beautiful part.  when he returned home he rededicated his life to me and got involved in a discipleship group with other Christians.  His whole life changed and I remember all of the prayer calls he made to me. I helped him to locate a wonderful woman who became his wife. They had 4 little ones who all asked me to come into their lives. That young man is now serving me with his family in full time service.  Every once a while he will call me to tell me how thankful he was for you showing God's love to him.

Paul: Me?

Jesus: yes.  that is only one story. There are many more who were touched in ways that you can't imagine.

Paul: Jesus, what is going to happen to my wife and my kids?  I feel this glow, but they are probably missing me terribly.

Jesus:  Just as my angels were there to rescue you I will send angles to comfort them as they miss you.

Paul:  I loved my wife so very much.  and my kids. They were the greatest kids a man could ever ask for.

Jesus:  You do not need to be afraid. Already I have plans for them. Each of them have called me and I have answered their calls.  i have plans to bring Christian's into their lives who will help them recover from their grief.  The body of Christ will be there for each of them.  Their faith will strengthen because of what I will do for them.

Paul: ( FOR THE FIRST TIME PAUL FEELS THE GASH ON HIS FACE FROM THE ACCIDENT)

Paul:  am I bleeding?

Jesus: you were, but we're going to exchange your well worn earthly body for a Spiritual one. ( Jesus shows him his)

PAUL: That looks so new. Why there isn't a blemish on it!  ( Paul tries it on)  I feel like a new man.

Jesus:  Your new body won't have any limitations like you had on earth.  You will be able to run as fast as you like. your energy will be endless.

Paul:  my new eyes!  I can really see far! I won't need glasses. My new ears!  I can hear so well.

Jesus:  Well done my good and faithful servant. Go and explore your new place.  There will be a reception line of people you knew on earth and who went before you ready to greet you and give you hugs. Welcome home, Paul, welcome home.

Act 2

 Paul could not believe how brand new his new heavenly body was in comparison to the 60 year old body which had seen it's better days.  He was amazed how well he could see and how well he could hear.  Paul was told by Jesus to explore his new surroundings and that there would be a reception in his honor with people he knew that came before him

Paul: " I don't think I have ever ran this fast since I was a kid! And I am not even tired!"

Jesus:: "one of the many benefits of this new place!"

Paul cocks his head in the direction of a faint sound of a song bird " Is that a song bird? i haven't heard that sound since I was a kid"

Jesus:  "You remember the bible and what it said about how all things would be made new again"?

Paul; " Yes. I think that is in 2 Corinthians 5;17! i remember memorizing that verse when i was in my discipleship group!"

Jesus:  " Because of what I did for you all things are new again!  There will be no more pain and no more hurts and sorrow."

Paul:  " It seems strange that I know I have a earthly family, but this overflowing perfect peace I have prevents me from worrying for them."

Jesus:  " Just as I rescued you from that car accident I will surround your family with the things they need to be strong and get through the fiery grief."

Paul:" I have confidence in your power to accomplish that."

Jesus: " Almost forgot, Paul, I got a prayer call from your children. They wanted me to give their father a hug from them."  Paul feels the embrace of the loving Savior.

Paul begins walking toward the reception hall and notices welcome home Paul banners and helium filled balloons and cake and ice cream on the reception hall table. As he got closer to the crowd of people his eyes begin to moisten up. He sees his grandmother who he hadn't seen since he was nine years old when she died.

Paul:  Mamo?"

Grandmother: " Hi Paul and welcome home".
Paul gives his grandmother a hug as tears of joy are streaming down his face.  Paul remembers it was his grandmother who often would pray for him when he went through those difficult early years.

Grandmother: " Is Heaven everything you thought it would be. Paul?"

Paul: :" It is everything and even more.  I never thought about my new body I would be getting. It is so much better and makes me stronger and I can see and hear like nothing before."

Grandmother: " I remember how you were one of many grandchildren I would pray constantly for.  I knew that Jesus had great things for you".

Jesus:  "Paul, I do indeed remember all of those late night prayer calls from your grand mother and I answered every single one."  Paul's eyes moisten again as he gives his grandmother another hug.

Paul sees his Sunday school teacher.  He remembers the day Mr. Smith lead his class with the salvation prayer and how he fervently said that prayer.

Paul: " Mr. Smith? is that my Sunday school?"

Sunday school teacher: " It is.  I am so happy you prayed that prayer and I am so happy you are here" he paused," You are going to love this place, Paul".

Paul: " I remembered the day I prayed to received Christ. My parents wrote the date down so I would always remembered it."  Paul gives his former Sunday school teacher a hug.

Paul walked over and noticed Roy, his discipleship leader from the Navigators group he was involved in for 2 years.  He had not seen Roy since he moved to Chicago because of a job transfer.

Paul: " Is that you Roy?"

Roy: " It is. Welcome home Paul:"  Although Roy and Paul were the same age Roy went to heaven after being diagnosed with cancer and passing away several years ago.  Paul remembers Roy for his challenging references to always being in the word of God and memorizing  the bible verses.  Paul will always remember Roy for the accountability he instilled in the group and how important it is for one's Spiritual growth and maturity.

Paul walks a little further and noticed a small child.  As he approached he noticed that it wasn't just any child, but it was his son who died several years ago.  Paul choked up as his son ran up to him for a hug.

Jeremy: "Dadd !y I am so happy to see you!"

Paul wraps his arms around his son he hadn't seen in a decade.

Jeremy: "Dad, do you remember the night I left earth?"

Paul: "I sure do Jeremy.  Our family cried and grieved because we knew you were never going to be with us again until we got to heaven."

Jeremy: " Dad, you will be happy to know that the first person I saw that night was Jesus when he came down to bring me home.  I felt this warm glow as though I was being told not to worry and that everything was going to be AOK.

Paul: " The same warm glow the just before I came to heaven."

Jeremy: " Yah that warm glow. You will be happy to know Dad that from the moment I have been in heaven it has been a fun time.  Heaven is everything my Sunday school teacher's have said it would be.  There  is no more pain or sorrow because we are with the Savior."

Jesus: :" Paul and Jeremy, I just got a prayer call from your family.  They wanted me to give you two a hug from your mom and your brothers and sisters."

Jesus embraces both Paul and Jeremy.

Jeremy leads his dad to someone he really wanted him to know.

Jeremy: " Dad, this lady was my drama camp teacher.  Mrs. Anders was the one who prayed the salvation prayer the morning I  accepted Jesus into my heart!"

Paul: " good to see you again!  I remember talking with you about Jeremy's accepting Jesus. I remember how my wife and I rejoiced and praised God in heaven.  Just as my parents did for me I remembered how we wrote the birth date of his decision so we could celebrate it every year."

Jesus:" I do remember how happy you were when Jeremy accepted me into his heart."

Mrs. Anders: "I always get a lump in my throat when one of my students prays the prayer!"  ''

Paul spent the next couple of hours meeting family and friends he hadn't seen in many years.

Jesus: " Are you enjoying yourself Paul?"

Paul looks around the room full of friends.  "Jesus, I am having a great time... It is good to be home." Paul turns and looks out the large stain glass window at the  amazing  beauty he sees outdoors.  The lush green trees, the blue lakes, and the song birds chirping which he can hear with his new heavenly body.He knew that  he was going to love this place!

Act 3

On this day we find Paul looking out of his workshop at a landscape of beautiful flowers with shimmering colors he had never seen before on earth and looking at a small lake with water much more cleaner than anything he had ever seen where he came from and tall mighty oak, elm and birch trees with their leaves gently blowing in the wind. In one oak tree he noticed several kids playing in one and decided to set down his carpenter tool and walk over to talk with them.

Paul: " Hi It looks all of you are having fun up there!"

The kids look down to see who it was that was talking to them. One young girl was the first to speak up.

Girl: "We're having so much fun being up here."

Paul: : "When I was a kid I use to love climbing trees. Say, what are your names?"

All the kids volunteered to say their name first before the girl who seemed to be the leader put everything in order.

Girl: " The boy up there is Matty and the one way up there is Joshua and the other girl way out on that limb is Suzanne"

Paul: " And how bout your name?"

Girl: " My name is Maria"

Paul: " Can you kids tell me  a little more about yourselves?" He paused to reflect on his words. " When I first came to heaven I was brought into this equipment room where Jesus gave me this brand new heavenly body."

Matty: " I know that room. It was the same room I came into when I got this awesome body that allowed me to do the things I never could do on earth."

Joshua: " Me too."

Suzanne: " also me".

Maria finally speaks up. "  I never could climb trees before I got this brand new heavenly body. I remembered watching my brother and his friends climbing and having so much fun and wishing I could just once sit on a tree branch" Maria paused before continuing, " I remembered my dad making this two level playhouse/tree house just so I could have something to play in without climbing like my brother could."

Paul looked quizzically at each of the kids and wondered more about what their lives were like on earth before Jesus brought them home.

Paul: " Matty can you tell me a little more about yourself about your life on earth?"

Matty chirped up. " My parents told me that I was born with Spinal Bifida. I never did learn how to walk right and I remembered using this especially designed."

Paul: " Joshua, how about your life?"

Joshua: " I was in a car accident when I was a kid and was in the hospital for many months until the doctor told my parents that I would never walk again.  One night I remembered going to sleep and the next thing I knew Jesus and his angels were standing at my side. I came into the equipment room of heaven and Jesus gave me this body where I could climb trees, run, and do all the things I never could do in my accident prone body on earth."

Paul: " and how bout you Maria?"

Maria: " My mom and dad adopted me from Guatemala.  When I was in my new home they noticed I wasn't walking as well as most kids my age and took me to see doctors. I was diagnosed with mild cerebral palsy and with my mom and dad's help I went to see a physical therapist every week. Then I had this surgery to help me walk better, but the first night I came home from the hospital I remembered going to sleep after my dad kissed me on the forehead and saying "see you in the morning". It seemed like only minutes later when I saw Jesus at my bedside. Next thing I knew I was brought into the equipment room in heaven where, like Joshua, Matty and Suzanne I was given this awesome heavenly body that allowed me to do many things I couldn't even do on earth."

Paul: " Those are awesome stories!" He pauses before continuing, " Anyone want to race? I bet you can't beat me?"
All the kids jump down and began running at full speed. Paul takes off in his own mad dash, but slowed up at the last moment to allow the kids to win.

Paul quickly learned that God had fulfilled his promise of making all things new again. Through Matty, Joshua, Suzanne and Maria he learned that life in these new heavenly bodies would not compared with the ones they had on earth. Each of them had families who like his own are missing them terribly, but he knew that all of them would see their loved ones again some day 

After saying so long to his new found friends Paul heads back to the carpenters workshop where he picked up his tool and continued to work on the grand piano that was beginning to look like one.As Paul worked  he remembered the conversations he had with Matty, Maria, Joshua and Suzanne and how in their earthly lives a physical impairment prevented them from climbing the trees they were now climbing in heaven. He thought of his own earthly impairment which seem to take it's toll on his earthly body before it  gave out the day of the deadly car crash when he felt the instant warm glow and the very presence of  God's angels who brought him home to the equipment room where he was about to see first hand God's promise of making all things new again.

Act 4

On this day in heaven Paul decides to hang up his carpenter's tools and head down to the outdoor amphitheater where he would  enjoy listening to praise music at the shore of the pristine and sparkling lake with smells that were free from milfoil he was so use to smelling on the lakes in Minnesota. 

As he headed for the area where the singing would take place he could hear the crisp sounds of the blue jays, robins and chickadees as though they were their own angelic choir. He watched as other little kids were playing and having the time of their lives and as he watched he wondered about each of their stories of what their life might have been like in their previous earthly existence.

In the distance he could see Jesus milling around giving people hugs.  Then Jesus saw Paul and walked toward him. When he came closer he could hear him.

Jesus:  " Paul, I got a prayer call from your wife and children. They were each asking for strength to help them through their weak moment and each of them asked me to give a hug to their daddy."

Paul got his hug from Jesus.

Paul: " How is my family doing?
Jesus: " Paul, you do not have to worry for them.  I have sent good and well grounded people into their lives to help them through this time.  Your wife is involved in a support group of Christian's who lost spouses and she is finding a common bond with these people.

Paul: " and my children?"
Jesus: " I have covered each of your children with a protective shield at this time and once their mom has worked through her grief I will begin to help each of your children work through their grief."

Paul: " Jesus, I can't wait to tell my earthly family all the new friends I have met here in heaven. Nor can I wait to show them the sheer beauty of this place. It is never a boring moment."

Jesus:" Remember when you were down there I encouraged you to read the bible where you could learn God's story and how out of reading you came to know me as your personal savior?"

Paul: " I sure do."

Jesus: " and how I walked with you and helped you with some of the critical decisions of your life? and how you honored me by being my witness to all who needed to hear my story of salvation.?"

Paul:" I do ."

Jesus: " It is the same way now for your family and unsaved friends down there. I desire that  God's word reach every person on earth because I do not want to see anyone to perish.

Paul: " It is too bad we couldn't just televise real time images back to them and then they will know and believe."

Jesus: " If it was that simple. But even without  doing the things you suggest I continue to be working in the lives of many men, woman and children who are every day bringing people to completely changed lives."

Paul: " I believe."

Jesus:  " Paul, when you accepted me as your savior you began to experience the abundant life,  I became your anchor to help stabilize you through the storms of that life. Those who accept me as their savior will also experience the abundant life and I will reveal to each of them how I will use them."

Paul:  " and when their time has come and they come home to this place they will equally and truly be amazed how all things are made new again".

Jesus: " that's right Paul"

Jesus continues walking and giving more hugs from loved ones on earth.
As Paul continue walking he began to hear the crisp sounds of the children's choir and up on the stage he saw his new friends, Matty, Joshua, Maria and Suzanne all singing to the delight of those present. He took a seat on the grass and let the sounds of the choir and the beauty of this place soak in.

Act 5

The wolf shall dwell with the lamb, and the leopard shall lie down with the young goat, and the calf and the lion and the fattened calf together; and a little child shall lead them.
                                                             

Paul decided to take a break from polishing the piano he was building. He hung his apron on the hook in his workshop and decided to venture outdoors to breath in the clean heavenly air.   As he strolled through the grass he came upon a lion playing with a small child. He watched in wonderment at how playful the lion seemed to be and then realizing he wouldn't ever see this scene in his former life. The last time he remembers seeing a lion was when he took his children to the zoo and the lion was behind a secure fence.He remembered how there have been tragic deaths at the hands of the lion because parents did not heed the warning not to place their child on the fence for picture taking. But, this was heaven where sin no longer reigns and where he could stroll with the once feared animals with total peace of mind.

 Often Paul would be lying on the ground  reading one of the great works of the Old or New testaments.   One day this huge head  reached down and lick his face with it's tongue and sitting up he realized it was one of the many wolves that he had seen in this place. The wolf merely wanted to have it's ears scratched and Paul was more than happy to accommodate his request.

Paul waves to the Matty, Joshua, Maria and Suzanne who appeared to be playing hot scotch with a small lamb  just below their favorite climbing tree.  The children wave back before returning to the fun they were having.

He continued walking along the cobblestone path lined with beautiful pine trees toward one of many chapels.  He was yearning to listen and perhaps worship at the chapel. Since his arrival he has leaned that this is one of the many perks of this place which is the ability to worship at will. Paul loved going to church every Sabbath in his former home and the thought of being able to worship the God of the universe anytime was a great feeling for him.

 Since coming home to heaven Paul had been blessed with a wonderful singing voice which was something he was not as fortunate to have in his former home. He remembers how friends would jokingly refer to him as the shower singer because it was only when he was showering that his voice had any tone. 

Paul remember one particular Christmas years ago when a group of carolers encouraged him to find something else to do with his time because they were afraid he would draw them off pitch. It was when he entered the equipment room that he was  blessed with a brand new spiritual body that included well oiled vocal cords for praising the Lord.

Reaching over the peak of the hill he now could see the English Tudor style chapel and as he got closer he could hear the sounds of Christmas emulating from it. Paul was about to experience his first Christmas in heaven and from the sounds he was hearing he was looking forward to the experience.

ACT 8

So don't let anyone judge you in regard to food or drink, or in the category of festival observances, be it of new moons or Sabbaths. All these things are shadows of what was to come, but the reality has to do with Christ.
Colossians 2:16-17

One day while he was working on one of the baby grands 3 gentlemen came into his shop where they immediately admired the hand crafted pianos he had been working on. Each of them represented a different culture.  Paul set down his sanding gloves and walked over to greet them.

Paul: "Hi " as he came over to greet them with a handshake.

The first guy reached out to him. He looked to be middle eastern because of his darker complexion.

"My name is Sari"  

The second guy looked oriental as he reached out his hand.

"My name is Arashi"

Paul:  "Nice to meet you: I am Paul"

The third guy reached over to greet Paul. " I'am Abraham"

Paul:  " Just like the biblical Abraham!

Abraham:  " My Jewish parents named me that because they admired him."

Paul was curious about their stories and asked each one how they came to know Christ.

Sari:  " I was born into a Muslin family. I was raised by Muslin parents to read the Quran and taught about the importance of daily prayers and doing those prayers from a prostrate position pointing toward to Mecca."

Paul: " and how about you Abraham?"

Abraham: " I was raised by Jewish parents who taught me that one day the Messiah would come to redeem the world."

Paul: " How bout you Arashi?"

Arashi: " I was raised by a father who taught me about following Buddha.  I remember having these rituals of keeping  my body healthy and avoiding certain foods. I was also told about the importance of doing good things in life."

As each of them began to tell their story Paul was becoming more and more fascinated.  He knew that on earth these three would not be friends. The earthly existence they lead discouraged them from mingling together. He knew that Sari and Abraham were taught to hate each other. He remembers hearing about the Jewish/Arab conflict ever since he was a young child, but in heaven all three of them became close friends.

Paul:  " How did you guys get to know Christ Jesus?" There, he said it. Now that he said it Paul began to wait for their responses.  Paul was always fascinated  as his heavenly friends shared their journeys to Christ.

Sari: " I remember being in college. My parents sent me to the American University to study business and finance.  America had very good schools and they knew I would come here to learn well and then go back home and work for a business.  One day I met a fellow Christian student.  I was studying. I was always studying."  Sari paused to reflect. " Mark comes over and starts talking with me about the weather, what I was studying, what I was planning to be when I graduated.  He told me about his plans about wanting to start his own business so he could have time to do trips around the world to do mission work."  Sari pondered on that thought before continuing. " Mark had a bible that I could tell had been read cover to cover because he seemed to have so much knowledge. We talked about the Koran and the bible over lunch over the rest of the school year. He invited me to meet his parents and experience a American holiday. I was given a gift which was the bible in the Arabic language. I read it and immediately a light bulb went off in my head. Then one spring day I prayed to receive Jesus into my heart.

Paul: " Sari, what was the one thing you noticed after your received Christ?"

Sari reflected on this question before answering.

Sari: " It was how Christ took the way the burden of performing the daily rituals. He also took the hatred I was taught to have for other religions.  I remember reading in the bible how Christ makes all things clean and we were no longer obligated by the customary law of sacrifices.  For the first time in my earthly life I felt freedom almost like sucking in a batch of clean air for the first time."

Sari's two friends nodded in agreement.

Abraham:  " Total freedom. I remember when a friend gave me the new testament being struck by the knowledge that the Messiah did come and He died on the cross for me!

Arashi looked on and exclaimed.  " Living the life of a Buddhist was a life of rituals,  I remember an American friend giving me a bible and when I read the gospels of Mark, Luke and John how relieved I was knowing that Christ accomplished it all with his death and resurrection on the cross. I didn't have to do anything but put my trust in Jesus and get to know him as my personal savior. My salvation wasn't dependent on trying to be perfect."

Paul looked on with a smile knowing that these three unlikely brothers would be discouraged from becoming friends on earth were now heavenly friends because of what Jesus did for each of them.

Sari looked at the 4 grand pianos in the shop. " Would you mind if we all sat down at a piano and played?"

Paul  showed approval as each of them took a piano. Since there were 4 pianos Paul decided to sit down at one.

Each of them began, on cue, to play Handel's Messiah.  

As the music emulated out of the shop the song birds flew to a tree limb outside and the children who were playing nearby ran over to watch them play. It has turned out to be another beautiful day in heaven after all, Paul thought, as he played on the hand crafted piano he made.

One day in heaven Paul discovered why others turned to Christ

So don't let anyone judge you in regard to food or drink, or in the category of festival observances, be it of new moons or Sabbaths. All these things are shadows of what was to come, but the reality has to do with Christ.
Colossians 2:16-17

For those who do not recall from earlier blogs Paul died in a fiery car crash and left a wife and several kids and was immediately ushered into the heaven where he felt the immediate presence of Jesus.  He was brought to the equipment room of heaven where his worn out, time weathered body was exchanged for a brand new heavenly one. Paul was, of course, ecstatic by the thought of being able to do the things he hadn't been able to do for such a long, long time. Paul felt this glow of peace envelop him, but he was concerned for what his family must be going through knowing their earthly husband and father was gone and God assured Paul that just as he came down to rescue him He was also sending angels to help his family through the grieving process.  

Paul was given a job in heaven.  He always wanted to be a carpenter but never had the earthly skill to be one. In heaven, Paul was given these skills where he became a master at creating grand pianos.  In heaven's reception line Paul finally got to see his child who had died years earlier and where he became familiar with the devastating and painful grief of losing a child. As his child was telling him all the things he had done since he came to heaven Paul knew that he finally had closure with some of the many 'why's and 'what if's' which he had on earth.

Paul fell in love with heaven with the sheer beauty he saw all around him. As he looked out the piano shop he could see the trees in full bloom and he could hear with his brand new crisp hearing the song birds singing their morning melody.  Paul looked across the way where he could see children playing in the trees.  He knew that these children had lost their young earthly lives prematurely, but he also knew that the moment they came to heaven there would be no more pain or sorrow.

One day while he was working on one of the baby grand pianos, 3 gentlemen came into his shop where they immediately admired the hand crafted pianos he had been working on. Each of them represented a different culture.  Paul set down his sanding gloves and walked over to greet them.

Paul: "Hi " as he came over to greet them with a handshake.

The first guy reached out to him. He looked the type who might have been from the middle east.

"My name is Sari"  

The second guy looked Asian as he reached out his hand.

"I'm  Arashi"

Paul:  "Nice to meet you: I am Paul"

The third guy reached over to greet Paul. " I'm Abraham"

Paul:  " Just like the biblical Abraham!

Abraham:  " My Jewish parents named me that because they admired him."

Paul was curious about their stories and asked each one how they came to know Christ.

Sari:  " I was born into a Muslim family. I was raised by Muslim parents to respect Allah by  reading the Koran and go to daily prayers."

Paul: " and how about you Abraham?"

Abraham: " I was raised by Jewish parents who told me that one day the Messiah would come and redeem the world."

Paul: " How bout you Arashi?"

Arashi: " I was raised by a father who taught me the importance of following Buddha. We had Buddhist statues throughout our home."

As each of them began to tell their story, Paul was becoming more and more fascinated by their stories.  He knew that on earth these three would not be friends.  He knew that Sari and Abraham were taught to hate each other because of what they had been taught, but in heaven, all three of them became close friends.

Paul:  " How did you guys get to know Christ Jesus?" There, he said it. Now that he said it Paul began to wait for their responses.  Paul was fascinated as each of his heavenly friends shared how they each became Christian's.

Sari: " I remember being in college. My parents sent me to the American University to study business and finance. They wanted me to be successful and they knew that  America had very good schools where  I would get a good education.  One day while studying, I met a fellow Christian student."  Sari paused to reflect. " Mark comes over and starts talking to me about the weather, what I was studying, what I was planning to be when I graduated.  He told me about his plans about wanting to start his own business so he could have time to do trips around the world to do mission work."  Sari pondered on that thought before continuing, " Mark had a bible that I could tell had been read cover to cover because he seemed to have so much knowledge and the pages looked as though they had been turned over and over again. We talked about the Koran and the bible over lunch over the rest of the school year. He invited me to meet his parents and experience an American holiday. I was given a gift which was the bible in the Arabic language. I read it and one night I had a dream where Jesus spoke to me. I knew at that point that this Jesus that the bible talked about was real.  I told Mark about the dream and he leads me in a prayer inviting Jesus to come into my life."

Paul: " Sari, what was the one thing you noticed after your received Christ?"

Sari reflected on this question before answering.

Sari: " It was how Christ took the burden of having to perform my daily rituals away. I remember reading in the bible about how Christ makes all things clean and we were no longer obligated by the customary law of sacrifices. For the first time in my earthly life, I felt freedom almost like breathing in a batch of fresh air for the first time."

Sari's two friends nodded in agreement.

Abraham:  " Total freedom. I remember when a friend gave me the new testament and being struck by the knowledge that Jesus's death and resurrection on the cross meant that I was no longer obligated to the rituals of my faith because his resurrection gave me total freedom because He finished it for me.

Arashi looked on and exclaimed.  " Living the life of a Buddhist was a life of rituals,  I remember an American friend giving me a bible and when I read the gospels of Mark, Luke and John how relieved I was knowing that Christ accomplished it all with his death and resurrection on the cross. One night, I saw Jesus Christ in my dream.  This American friend shared that I could know Christ on a personal level by simply praying the prayer of salvation."

Paul asked his friend what it was like after he said that prayer. Arashi smiled, "I felt peace. I felt like this burden had been lifted from my shoulder. I felt incredible joy and happiness just knowing that God had a plan for my life."

Paul looked on with a smile knowing that these three unlikely brothers would be discouraged from becoming friends on earth were now heavenly friends because of what Jesus did for each of them.

Sari looked at the 4 grand pianos in the shop. " Would you mind if we all sat down at a piano and played?"

Paul showed approval as each of them took a piano. Since there were 4 pianos Paul decided to sit down at one.

Each of them began, on cue, to play Handel's Messiah.  

As the music filtered out of the shop, the song birds flew to a tree limb outside and the children who were playing nearby ran over to watch them play.

' It has turned out to be another beautiful day in heaven', Paul thought, as he played on the hand crafted piano he made with these 3 heavenly friends he met.

Our most stable relationship and friend is going to be Jesus

2} Now the names of the twelve apostles are these; The first, Simon, who is called Peter, and Andrew his brother; James the son of Zebedee, and John his brother; {3} Philip, and Bartholomew; Thomas, and Matthew the publican; James the son of Alphaeus, and Lebbaeus, whose surname was Thaddaeus; {4} Simon the Canaanite, and Judas Iscariot, who also betrayed him.
For some reason Neil Sedaka's song, 'breaking up is hard to do' came to my mind today. As I reflected on these lyrics I was reminded of the pain that people go through when they break up with somebody they cared about, or when that relationship is no longer available such as a  death of a loved one. For the person experiencing the break up the pain can be extreme and at times you may wonder if anybody cares for you in this cold, heartless world you live in. 

Break up's and losses are especially hard when they occur around the holidays when the days seem shorter and the nights seem longer. Breakup's are the price we pay for having friendships with people I remember thinking how it would be better to be a hermit and live alone in a little room away from all friendships just so I could avoid the pain  but when I thought further I realize how lonely this life would be and concluded that I would rather have many friendships even if it meant risking heartache and pain when one fails.

As human's we were meant to live in a world with friends. Each life is meant to touch another life in such a way that you make the other person feel valued. Looking forward to seeing 'It's a wonderful life'  I was reminded by one of  the more poetic lines from the movie where Goerge's brother toasted him with the word's, " here is to the richest man I know' referring to the many friends in his brother's life.

God has a master plan for each person in this world.  He desires the best for everyone and he did this by providing everyone the opportunity to have a personal relationship with His son, Jesus Christ. He modeled for the rest of us what it was like to have uplifting relationships when he chose 12 men to be his disciples. Through these band of brothers he taught us that when he was no longer with us that we would have other believer's in our lives to encourage us every day of our life.

 It is written throughout the historical books how much God loves everyone and how He will not leave you. Once Jesus comes into your heart he is there to stay and God's gift of the holy spirit has been given to you to fill your heart and mind with peace. So no matter what breakup's or deaths  you might  experienced Jesus promises to be there beside you. He promises to guide you to others who will choose to walk with you as you go through the painful grief process. This is the amazing story of the Christian life!

Let it Rain....

It is January 10th in Minnesota. In a normal year there should be a couple of feet of snow outside. In a normal year we should be bundling up in boots, heavy coats and warm gloves before heading out to the elements. Not today and not this week. You see in these parts right now it is raining. The snow men our kids built at Christmas time are melting. The  ice globes we  spent time creating with our power drills are slowing disappearing into oblivion.  The 1000 dollar snow blower we're still making payments on is sitting in our garages unused and the snow  mobiles we thought we would be using every day this winter are now under a tarp hopefully waiting for the next snow storm. There is no storm in the forecast.  

What we have instead is rain. Lots of rain. Rain that should be falling in the south like it normally would in any normal year.  I suppose I should be looking at the bright side of this rain. Milder temperatures means our winter clothing won't be wearing out and our cars will keep on running without those nasty car parts tending to go out when the coldest of the cold weather appears.   It seems that we are never satisfied with the weather. It is either too hot, too cold, too dry, and two wet.  We are never content it seems. 

I am reminded that when we enter into our final home of heaven we will experience the best of the best weather, either that or we won't have the capacity to be disgruntle and dissatisfied.  As I sit down looking out the window at the pitter patter of reain drops hitting the surface of the ground somehow the words to this song came to me.

The prayer of Jabaz His name means pain

Jabez cried out to the God of Israel, "Oh, that you would bless me and enlarge my territory! Let your hand be with me, and keep me from harm so that I will be free from pain." And God granted his request




As my wife and I normally do we attended the worship service at our church. On this particular Sunday our Pastor spoke on the prayer of Jabaz. I have heard sermons in the past on this little known person in the bible, but what I had forgotten was the cultural context of his name. In those days children were given names that represented what their families were experiencing in life. As in the case of Jabaz his name meant sorrow and pain because his mom's child birth had been particularly painful. 'Wow! Not sure if I want to walk around trying to live down the meaning of my name.It seems that God specializes using the most insignificant people in the bible to do mighty things. This little prayer offered up by a insignificant figure serves as a reminder how God does answer prayer.  We are reminded daily through the news media how dangerous  is the world,. God reminds us that when we pray to him he will make the place we are in safe and secure just like he granted Jabaz his request.

When families are in the depths of grief it is normal to feel as though pain and sorrow is their closest friend. We are reminded in Jabaz's prayer that the best thing we can do when we are in pain is to  bring our pain to the Savior. It is our Savior who understands thoroughly what it is like to suffer.  It is God who understands what it means to lose a son.

On the same day as our worship service Linda and I attended our first Life group. This group is made up of 3 other couples from our church who meet for friendship, relationship building and prayer support. Ecclesiates 4:12 reminds us that 3 strands are not easily broken and when we meet with others we stand a greater chance of surviving the chaos in the world.  

Our God answers prayers! That is very good news. To think he took the pain and sorrow of Jabaz and made him free from pain reminds us that God can take any terrible tragedy in our lives and turn it into something good. So go ahead and pray to God because we have a God who answers prayers.

Lessons learn from past grief

I

t is cold and blustery this Christmas season. Looking out the bay window one would never guess it was this cold outdoors and only when you walk outdoors do you instantly feel the pain in your hand do you realize the severity of the cold.


I guess this is Minnesota and maybe I ought to be use to it having grown up in this cold landscape. My memories of winters growing up were helping my dad start both cars several hours each morning. At precisely the hours of 2 and 4 I would be woken up from a deep sleep only to have to put on my clothes, winter coat to go out and help dad start the cars. We had no garage and as dear old dad explained it the GI bill didn't allow for the luxury of having a garage built with the house. I must admit I didn't feel deprived not having a garage and when I look back few neighbors even kept their cars inside because of all the junk they had sitting inside.


One more memory from my childhood was when my younger brother's best friend Danny died. My brother was in preschool. I didn't know his friend well ( there was a 9 year age difference ), but I remembered having a heavy heart and feeling sad watching my younger brother go through the grief and loss of his friend.


Around that same time I remembered my parents getting us in the car one late afternoon and driving up to the Milaca hospital where we saw our grandmother who was happy to see us. I remember watching her as she laid flat on the hospital bed. I remembered saying goodbye and not long after we returned home that my mom received the news that grandma had died. I was 8 at the time of her death and seeing someone you loved passing away left me with a heavy heart. One moment I saw her alive and smiling on her hospital bed and the next moment I am glancing at her in her casket at the Lutheran church in Foley, Minnesota. Perhaps the hardest grief I ever had to do was when I buried my daughter Maria who was only 10 years old at the time. The loss of a child is perhaps the most painful form of grief. Nothing in life prepare you for this painful process. No manual, no book can possibly prepare you to go through this process..


The only thing that has even given us comfort and the wherewithal to survive this loss was God himself. Over the course of several years God has shown us in his word, and through friends he has imparted words of encouragement and reminders that when we die Christ has assured us that heaven would be our final home.


God reminded me that Danny, grandma and little Maria are having the time of their life in heaven. I was also reminded that time does heal all painful wounds of grief. Whereas I felt a deep sense of loss with each of these losses there did come a day where I was able to have a smile on my face as I reflected on the memories on the ones who went before me.

Time in a bottle

For we are God's [own] handiwork (His workmanship), recreated in Christ Jesus, [born anew] that we may do those good works which God predestined (planned beforehand) for us [taking paths which He prepared ahead of time], that we should walk in them [living the good life which He prearranged and made ready for us to live]. Ephesians 2: 10

Jim Croce was one of my favorite artists when I was in high school. The song that I especially liked was 'If I could save time in a bottle'.  At the time I heard that song I was facing many life decisions as a young person. What do I do after high school? Where should I go to college? What kind of career will I have? Who should I marry?  These decisions were hard to think about and in someways I just wanted to freeze time and stay just he way I was at the time.  Alas, that isn't the way it works. 

It is as though from the time we are born we are placed on a moving sidewalk where he pass through phases of life. There are moments we wished the sidewalk would move slower so we could savor the moment and there were moments where we  wish it would go faster to escape those unbearable moments. At times there were even moments we wished to go in reverse so we could re-capture the moments. As we are riding this moving sidewalk occasionally we glance up to notice other's crying as loved ones they thought would be with them on this journey would hop off waving a final goodbye. Tears are staining the faces of the ones still on the sidewalk while smiles erupt on the faces of those who's journey has ended.

Time has a way of healing our brokenness. It has a way of lessening the pain we feel toward our losses. As each new scenic wonder comes upon us we are drawn to those moments. Instead of looking back at the empty spot our love one stepped off we are drawn to the present moments that captivate us.The birth of a child. The marriage of a daughter. Rediscovering the love of your life. Going on a short term missions trip.  All of these bring renewed excitement into our lives.

Living in the present helps us to discover the joys of living. Thanking God for the memories of our loved ones who have left us and then focusing on those who are with us gives us a reason to keep on living. Tonight, I decided to stay home and have a movie night with my son.  We ordered Jet's pizza and watched the Planet of the Apes. I also called my wife who stayed several days later with her family than I could to wish her a happy new year. It is our loved ones who are  here  that give us a reason to enjoy life and to live.  

No longer in high school I have come to appreciate the lyrics to Jim Croce's song. As I continue on the moving sidewalk I will continue to be drawn to the present moments that give me the joy of living.