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Monday, October 18, 2021

I wanted to post this to my blog as it illustrates to all of us our needs to say goodbye to people we once knew even in a raging pandemic. Sid Hartman was once such person who brought joy to our lives with his weekly columns in the Star Tribune.

 I wanted to post this on my blog for two reasons: (1) it illustrates how we all need time to say goodbye to friends who are no longer with us, and (2) it illustrates how the Covidacracy of not allow funerals to be held in 2020 didn't help the families who simply wanted to celebrate their lives. Sid Hartman was someone who brought enjoyment through his Sunday columns through the decades of his life. Jeff Day was Sid's copy editor who helped him with his column. This is his story about the man he worked with at the Star Tribune.

I helped Sid Hartman keep up his column. He saved my life.

Sid's personal editor writes of their special relationship. 

I thought Sid Hartman died once in the passenger seat of my car.

We were snaking down a jam-packed 7th Street after finishing one of his columns in early 2016. It was a midwinter evening with slush on the street and packed snow in the gutters.

“I can’t believe these guys on these bicycles,” said Sid, 95 then, as he glanced out his slowly fogging window. “They’re crazy.” We turned left at First Avenue.

“Sid, what do you want to do for a column on Sunday?” I asked at the stoplight.

There was no response.

“Sid?” I said louder, glancing right.

He was still, his eyes glazed and focused on nothing.

“Sid?!” I yelled.

For the first time in my life I had a hot flash. The hair on my neck stood up. I tried to stay calm, but all I could think was, “I’m going to have to call an ambulance and give a quote to the newspaper.”

Imagine calling to someone when they are upstairs — that is how loudly I yelled “Sid!” to a man sitting 24 inches away.

He turned with a confused look on his face and said, “Huh?”

The light turned green, I touched the gas and drove him home.

 

• • •

My relationship with Sid started because I typed faster than anyone he had ever met.

Paul Klauda, a Star Tribune editor, was a professor of mine at St. Thomas and in 2006 he told me that they had a spot available for a seasonal prep sports assistant.

These were part-time, entry-level jobs answering phones, taking prep highlights and compiling boxscores and, for one seasonal employee, doing Sid Tapes. It was written on the calendar that way: “4-8, Sid Tapes.”

I did Sid Tapes, which was simply transcribing Sid’s interviews, and I did them very, very quickly. That ingratiated me to Sid in a way I never could have imagined.

After I proved that I could type, I was given other tasks. Carrying out a box of his “Sid Hartman’s Great Minnesota Sports Moments” books to his Cadillac, for example.

This was at the old 425 Portland Ave. building where Sid had an office that looked like the smallest maze. Filing cabinets, manila folders, envelopes, notepads, decades worth of media guides, photographs, batteries, tape recorders and mountains of blank tapes.

He called me in one day and asked me if I would mind carrying one of these boxes. It must have weighed 40 pounds.

I lugged it into the elevator outside his office, and when I dropped it on the floor, the elevator shook. When I hit the ground floor, I hoisted it up on my chest and squeezed into the revolving door and maneuvered down the 4th Street sidewalk to the loading dock where Sid’s car was parked sideways across three spaces. I heaved it into the back seat and took a serious moment to catch my breath.

As I made my way back toward the office door, Sid came flying out, carrying two boxes.

 

• • •

Another time I thought Sid was dead was when I got a phone call saying he had fallen and broken his hip.

I was unaware how dire a situation that was for an elderly person — and Sid was 96 at the time — but based on the tone of the conversations, I began to think Sid would never work again. I got hold of his son, Chad, to see if I could come visit.

Sid was in a recovery room at Fairview Southdale, lying in a hospital gown with an array of machines connected to him and doctors and nurses and family coming in and out of the room. I had never seen him in a vulnerable position. I went to his bedside and asked him, as quietly and kindly as I could, how he was doing.

He rose up slightly, “You tell them not to touch my column.”

He was back to work three weeks later, writing about the Gophers hiring P.J. Fleck as the football coach.

He would publish 612 more columns.

 

• • •

When you work with someone as they age from 86 to 100, their mortality is always on your mind. But I can say with clarity that I might not be alive if I hadn’t met Sid.

After working at the paper for two years, I was laid off during downsizing when the Star Tribune was going through bankruptcy in 2009. Sid raised hell. He could not believe he was not getting his way. But I wasn’t full-time or a guild member, so I was gone.

I went to work at a temp agency and was hired for office positions and I couldn’t get comfortable. The people I worked with were kind and generous, and they reached out to me and gave me lifelines. And I rejected them.

I used to chain smoke in the parking garage and think, “I’m going to kill myself.” Whatever the thing is that makes people happy and gives them purpose had left me.

Sid called me a year after I was laid off and said, “I’d like to take you out to Murray’s.”

We had dinner and he told me that the paper had an opening and he wondered if I would take it. He wasn’t asking a question. When I went back to work I was employed by the Star Tribune, but I was there for Sid, and it was intensive. Whatever other work I had to do for the paper did not matter to him.

We went through hours and hours and hours of interviews. It was maddening at times. On Sundays he would show up at 4 p.m. with the tapes from his WCCO radio show and I would transcribe for upward of six hours using a foot pedal rewind mechanism and an old cassette player.

He would come in on Monday and complain that I had missed someone. He would ask me if I had gotten to that interview with Tubby Smith from three weeks ago, knowing full well that we had done two Tubby interviews since then. He would tell me there was something in that tape from three weeks ago that he might need.

Sometimes it was a standoff over the principle of the thing: I would refuse to do it, and he would refuse to stop asking.

 

• • •

I kept searching for refuge outside of the office. I became an alcoholic. I got arrested. I lost relationships. I lost my entire sense of self.

But I kept going to work. Every day. I never missed a day of work with Sid.

I remember once leaning over him at his computer — I can see his face right next to me — and him saying, “Have you been drinking?”

I denied it. He said I was lying. He was right and he never said anything about it again.

When he saw my mother he would tell her, “He’s like a son to me.”

When he saw my father he would tell him, “I couldn’t do this without him.”

My wife sat next to him in the Twins press box and all of a sudden, he was the most charming man on earth.

He came to my wedding dressed better than I was.

And he told me, constantly, that he hoped I wouldn’t leave him for another job.

And because Sid kept going to work, I kept going to work. It was the most stable thing in my life. But somewhere in all of those columns, in all of those years, in all of those tapes, I found a thread and started the work of trying to find myself outside of the office.

I never told Sid about any of it.

I didn’t tell him about getting sober or going to years of therapy or regaining some faith in myself.

I just kept going to work.

 

• • •

Eventually Sid started writing at my desk more than at his because, to be fair, his desk was a mess.

He was frailer than before and getting up and down was difficult, so we would shimmy from desk to desk in our chairs without standing up, like bumper cars.

He still would complain that I didn’t do enough tapes — we kept a list of his interviews that is right next to my computer at the Star Tribune. Sometimes, and I’m sure he knew, I crossed out tapes I hadn’t done because I knew he wouldn’t use them.

I can finally say I was correct about that.

Over the past three years, Sid softened. His nurses, God bless their souls, saved his life every day, and he knew it.

And when Sid got softer, we all kind of did.

Most nights I would help him put his jacket on before he left.

“Help me with this, will ya?” he would say. He’d stand up, a little unsteady, and I’d slide it over his shoulders, which were more angular than they used to be, and I would take just a moment to pat him on his back.

But Sid’s intensity and desire to be the best never waned.

Two months before he turned 98, he covered the Super Bowl in Minneapolis and wrote six columns in seven days, getting interviews with NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell and a slew of Hall of Famers.

Sid never thought he was doing enough, even that week. I remember kneeling down in front of him after he finished covering the game, forcing him to stare me right in the eyes, and telling him how unbelievably proud he should be.

“OK, OK,” he said.

 

• • •

When Sid died, I was sitting on my couch, logged into his column, typing notes to send to him about the Vikings game.

When Sid died, I was already thinking about him. I was thinking about ideas that would make him happy and argue for his point of view — which was always that better days were ahead and, if the home team had lost, that today really wasn’t so bad.

When Sid died, I was still hoping to see him again soon.

When Sid died, I was still holding onto the notion that somehow, someway, this world could get back to normal.

That notion, for me, is gone now. It is a small, selfish thought, but my life will never be the same.

People have thanked me the past few days for helping prolong Sid’s life by helping prolong his career. As if I did him some favor.

So I’ll take this time to clarify things and say something I didn’t say to him: Sid Hartman saved my life.

He asked me to do a very simple thing: Go to work with him, every day.

It was a great honor.

Thursday, October 14, 2021


2Sing the glory of His name; make His praise glorious. 3Say to God, “How awesome are Your deeds! So great is Your power that Your enemies cower before You. 4All the earth bows down to You; they sing praise to You; they sing praise to Your name.” Selah…Psalm 66:3


I was happy to hear that Roger Peterson's song, Mighty is your Deeds, was nominated for a Dove award. Roger was the founder of STEM which stands for Short Term Evangelical Missions.  

He has led a countless number of groups from around the country to Haiti and the Dominican Republic and I was fortunate to be part of one of them. To say this trip changed my life is an understatement.  

I remember one very powerful message Roger Peterson gave on the first night in Haiti titled, 'Getting rid of your American heart'. He gave this talk to stress the point that we as American's will be just as blessed by the Haitian people as they are of us and only by getting rid of our American heart of looking down on the unfortunate will we see that reality. 

They may be poorer than us, but they were still created in the same image of God as we in the civilized western culture were. 

I also learned that these people had the same goals of making a living, raising a family, educating their children just as our parents had for us and we for our children.  

During our stay in the rural countryside, we lived in the outdoors, bathed in the nearby river, drank Coke, and ate the prepacked food we brought with us from America. 

 We attended a Christian Haitian church and sang Christian songs and listen to a message from a Haitian pastor. We were overwhelmingly blessed by the Haitian people. 

Toward the end of our stay, Roger arranged for us to enjoy a meal at the outdoor restaurant on top of the Hotel Montana. Little did we realize that this was the same hotel that collapse in a domino effect following the terrible earthquake.  God instilled within me the thought that when we get to heaven we will be worshipping and fellowshipping with people of all races and economic backgrounds. One more thing I learned from that trip and that is the power of praying for the people of God. Because Jesus Christ lives within me, I have the privilege to pray for the needs of God's people. I remember after our arrival back home the cultural shock I felt when I walked into the local Target store and saw an overwhelming number of choices in the things I could buy. Choices that were far less in the country I just came out of. 

This song written by Roger Peterson is a reminder of how mighty God's deeds are, even in this time of suffering brought on by this pandemic.

 

Wednesday, October 13, 2021

In our Western Culture, we are taught false information that recovery from grief should only take 6 months, but in reality grief cannot be processed that quickly

 



The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18



Before my loss, I tended to view the Church as a country club- a place where men, women, and children can network with each other.   Time spent in the church were happy times of getting together with friends for pot lucks, birthday parties, or listening to a financial planning seminar. We would listen to a warm message from the pulpit that would leave us with positive feelings for the coming week 

As I grew to know my Savior more deeply through his word after my loss, something interesting occurred in my previous narrative. 

Rather than a country club, I started viewing the church as a hospital for the sick and each person behind that facade of nice clothes and a plastic smile came through the doors who were sick. When all of the secular remedies failed, they accepted the advice of a Christian friend, or the Christian moderator on the radio to give God a try. 

For some of them, the first time crossing the threshold of the local church is a scary one; after all, they are uncertain how they will be received, or whether they will be given simple pat answers to their complicated life issues. 

Griefshare isn't like that. It is a 13-week program that uses a variety of methods from the grief share videos to the discussion time to review the previous week's homework assignment to teach you how to walk through the pain of their grief, not around it.  In essence, grief share teaches people not to be afraid of the deep-seated emotions that seem to surface at the time of their losses. 

When someone comes to their first meeting at grief share, it is a monumental accomplishment for someone when the norm for most of us after a loss occurs is isolating oneself from the world at large and coping with the pain with alcohol and drugs.  When someone ventures down that path, it usually doesn't end well.

Like the good shepherd Jesus is, He wants to walk beside you on your grief journey. He is a living Savior who will listen to you as you shout at God all the anger over your loss. This is what we call lamenting.  I encourage everyone to start a journal at the start of their journey and write their thoughts and emotions down as a way of getting what is inside their head out on paper. A well-kept-up journal will show you how far you have come in your recovery.

If we all commit to a local church where we can grow in our relationship with Christ, if we commit to working on our pain for however long it takes to recover, if we learn to not be afraid to journal and lament our emotional distress, I am confident our Lord will help you recover from this pain.  For more information on Grief share please click on this link.  Griefshare.org


Tuesday, October 5, 2021

Ex-Facebook employee says network hurts kids, fuels divisions while weakening democracy. I am so glad to see someone with ethics to speak the truth.

 

Ex-Facebook employee says network hurts kids, fuels division

WASHINGTON — A former Facebook data scientist told Congress on Tuesday that the social network giant's products harm children and fuel polarization in the U.S. while its executives refuse to change because they elevate profits over safety. And she laid responsibility with the company's CEO Mark Zuckerberg.

Frances Haugen testified to the Senate Commerce Subcommittee on Consumer Protection. Speaking confidently at a charged hearing, she accused the company of being aware of apparent harm to some teens from Instagram and being dishonest in its public fight against hate and misinformation.

"Facebook's products harm children, stoke division and weaken our democracy," Haugen said. "The company's leadership knows how to make Facebook and Instagram safer but won't make the necessary changes because they have put their astronomical profits before people."

"Congressional action is needed," she said. "They won't solve this crisis without your help."

Haugen said the company has acknowledged publicly that integrity controls were crucially needed for its systems that stoke the engagement of users, but then it disabled some of those controls.

In dialogue with receptive senators of both parties, Haugen, who focused on algorithm products in her work at Facebook, explained the importance to the company of algorithms that govern what shows up on users' news feeds. She said a 2018 change to the content flow contributed to more divisiveness and ill will in a network ostensibly created to bring people closer together.

Despite the enmity that the new algorithms were feeding, she said Facebook found that they helped keep people coming back — a pattern that helped the social media giant sell more of the digital ads that generate most of its revenue.

Senators agreed.

"It has profited off spreading misinformation and disinformation and sowing hate," said Sen. Richard Blumenthal, D-Conn., the panel's chairman. "Facebook's answers to Facebook's destructive impact always seems to be more Facebook, we need more Facebook — which means more pain, and more money for Facebook."

Haugen said she believed Facebook didn't set out to build a destructive platform. But "in the end, the buck stops with Mark," she said referring to Zuckerberg, who controls more than 50% of Facebook's voting shares. "There is no one currently holding Mark accountable but himself."

Haugen said she believed that Zuckerberg was familiar with some of the internal research showing concerns for potential negative impacts of Instagram.

The government needs to step in with stricter oversight of the company, Haugen said.

Like fellow tech giants Google, Amazon and Apple, Facebook has enjoyed minimal regulation. A number of bipartisan legislative proposals for the tech industry address data privacy, protection of young people and anti-competitive conduct. But getting new laws through Congress is a heavy slog. The Federal Trade Commission has adopted a stricter stance recently toward Facebook and other companies.

The subcommittee is examining Facebook's use of information from its own researchers on Instagram that could indicate potential harm for some of its young users, especially girls, while it publicly downplayed the negative impacts. For some of the teens devoted to Facebook's popular photo-sharing platform, the peer pressure generated by the visually focused Instagram led to mental health and body-image problems, and in some cases, eating disorders and suicidal thoughts, the research leaked by Haugen showed.

One internal study cited 13.5% of teen girls saying Instagram makes thoughts of suicide worse and 17% of teen girls saying it makes eating disorders worse.

Because of the drive for user engagement, Haugen testified, "Facebook knows that they are leading young users to anorexia content. ... It's just like cigarettes. Teenagers don't have any self-regulation. We need to protect the kids."

Haugen has come forward with a wide-ranging condemnation of Facebook, buttressed with tens of thousands of pages of internal research documents she secretly copied before leaving her job in the company's civic integrity unit. She also has filed complaints with federal authorities alleging that Facebook's own research shows that it amplifies hate, misinformation and political unrest, but the company hides what it knows.

"The company intentionally hides vital information from the public, from the U.S. government and from governments around the world," Haugen said. "The documents I have provided to Congress prove that Facebook has repeatedly misled the public about what its own research reveals about the safety of children, the efficacy of its artificial intelligence systems and its role in spreading divisive and extreme messages."

The former employee challenging the social network giant with 2.8 billion users worldwide and nearly $1 trillion in market value is a 37-year-old data expert from Iowa with a degree in computer engineering and a master's degree in business from Harvard. Prior to being recruited by Facebook in 2019, she worked for 15 years at tech companies including Google, Pinterest and Yelp.

After recent reports in The Wall Street Journal based on documents she leaked to the newspaper raised a public outcry, Haugen revealed her identity in a CBS "60 Minutes" interview aired Sunday night.

As the public relations debacle over the Instagram research grew last week, Facebook put on hold its work on a kids' version of Instagram, which the company says is meant mainly for tweens aged 10 to 12.

Haugen said that Facebook prematurely turned off safeguards designed to thwart misinformation and incitement to violence after Joe Biden defeated Donald Trump last year, alleging that contributed to the deadly Jan. 6 assault on the U.S. Capitol.

After the November election, Facebook dissolved the civic integrity unit where Haugen had been working. That, she says, was the moment she realized "I don't trust that they're willing to actually invest what needs to be invested to keep Facebook from being dangerous."

Haugen says she told Facebook executives when they recruited her that she wanted to work in an area of the company that fights misinformation, because she had lost a friend to online conspiracy theories.

Facebook maintains that Haugen's allegations are misleading and insists there is no evidence to support the premise that it is the primary cause of social polarization.

"Even with the most sophisticated technology, which I believe we deploy, even with the tens of thousands of people that we employ to try and maintain safety and integrity on our platform, we're never going to be absolutely on top of this 100% of the time," Nick Clegg, Facebook's vice president of policy and public affairs, said Sunday on CNN's "Reliable Sources."

That's because of the "instantaneous and spontaneous form of communication" on Facebook, Clegg said, adding, "I think we do more than any reasonable person can expect to."

___

Follow Marcy Gordon at https://twitter.com/mgordonap.