As you begin to recover from grief there are moments in time you wish you could reclaim

What a difference two days make. June 9th was a beautiful Saturday when we brought our daughter home from the hospital. We were in a celebratory mood as we looked toward the future of improved quality of life for our little girl. Then the inevitable happened.  The moment the chaplain came out of her bedroom where he received the grim news that our daughter could not be revived it was as though the trap door below us had opened and we were plunged down a narrow passageway of darkness and despair with no end in sight. We could hear occasional supportive words of encouragement, but our rational minds could not grasp those concepts.

When we slowly began to see light it was then that I noticed that we were different than we were the afternoon on June 9th. Our lives took an abrupt detour through the land of despair and all 3 of us began to grieve so differently almost like we all spoke a different language and had different customs.  We thought we knew each other, but in fact we didn't. 

As grief continues it is common to react to others in ways that you normally would not respond that way. As I tried to work through the anger stage of my grief I said some things to my wife that I knew I shouldn't have said.  It was as though I was blindly throwing darts at a dartboard and missing the mark each time.  In time I began to see the collateral damage I had made with my poorly use of words.

I credit my involvement in a trusting therapeutic relationship with a clinical psychologist and the various grief support groups for helping me 'keep my sanity' and to help me  reconnect with my family. Our family's faith in Jesus Christ and the support from our church were phenomenal.  As we traveled those dark days those seemingly trite reminders that she was in heaven and Christ makes all things new again finally began to take root in our hurting souls so true healing can begin.

It is in grief that the whole biblical concept of 'forgiveness' becomes reality.  To see that Christ died for you and suffered on the cross for you is absolutely phenomenal in a time we feel like insignificant cogs in a machine.   It was through the atonement that God has forgiven your entire past of wrongdoings. Every word you may have said and every wrong deed you might have done has been entirely wiped clean because of what His son did on the cross.  God is truly amazing and he really makes all things new again. I was reminded that heaven is a very real place and although our little girl's journey ended our journey continues.

If you are grieving right now you can rest knowing that one day your rational thought process will return. Until that day arrives allow the comforting words of your friends and Pastor to seep into your soul where one day they will blossom into visible reminders about how far you have traveled in your grief journey and everything is going to be OK.

Heaven's reception line

In one of my earlier blogs I wrote about Paul who's life ended abruptly when he was hit by a car at a high speed. Because of Paul's decision to follow Christ he was brought to the equipment room in heaven where his worn out earthly body was exchanged for a brand new heavenly one. Paul could not believe how brand new his new heavenly body was in comparison to the 60 year old body which had seen it's better days.  He was amazed how well he could see and how well he could hear.  Paul was told by Jesus to explore his new surroundings and that there would be a reception in his honor with people he knew that came before him

Paul: " I don't think I have ever ran this fast since I was a kid! And I am not even tired!"

Jesus:: "one of the many benefits of this new place!"

Paul cocks his head in the direction of a faint sound of a song bird " Is that a song bird? i haven't heard that sound since I was a kid"

Jesus:  "You remember the bible and what it said about how all things would be made new again"?

Paul; " Yes. I think that is in 2 Corinthians 5;17! i remember memorizing that verse when i was in my discipleship group!"

Jesus:  " Because of what I did for you all things are new again!  There will be no more pain and no more hurts and sorrow."

Paul:  " It seems strange that I know I have a earthly family, but this overflowing perfect peace I have prevents me from worrying for them."

Jesus:  " Just as I rescued you from that car accident I will surround your family with the things they need to be strong and get through the fiery grief."

Paul:" I have confidence in your power to accomplish that."

Jesus: " Almost forgot, Paul, I got a prayer call from your children. They wanted me to give their father a hug from them."  Paul feels the embrace of the loving Savior.

Paul begins walking toward the reception hall and notices welcome home Paul banners and helium filled balloons and cake and ice cream on the reception hall table. As he got closer to the crowd of people his eyes begin to moisten up. He sees his grandmother who he hadn't seen since he was nine years old when she died.

Paul:  Mamo?"

Grandmother: " it is me. Welcome home Paul".
Paul gives his grandmother a hug as tears are streaming down his eyes.  Paul remembers it was his grandmother who often would pray for him when he went through those difficult early years.

Grandmother: " Is Heaven everything you thought it would be. Paul?" 

Paul: :" It is everything and even more.  I never thought about my new body I would be getting. It is so much better and makes me stronger and I can see and hear like nothing before."

Grandmother: " I remember how you were one of many grandchildren I would pray constantly for.  I knew that Jesus had great things for you".

Jesus:  "Paul, I do indeed remember all of those late night prayer calls from your grand mother and I answered every single one."  Paul's eyes moisten again as he gives his grandmother another hug.

Paul sees his Sunday school teacher.  He remembers the day Mr. Doughtherty lead his class with the salvation prayer and how he fervently said that prayer.

Paul: " Mr. Smith? is that my Sunday school teacher who lead me to the Lord?"

Sunday school teacher: " It is.  I am so happy you prayed that prayer and I am so happy you are here" he paused," You are going to love this place, Paul".

Paul walked over and noticed Roy, his discipleship leader from the Navigators group he was involved in for 2 years.

Paul: " Is that you Roy?" 

Roy: " It is. Welcome home Paul:"  Although Roy and Paul were the same age Roy went home after being diagnosed with cancer and passing away several years ago.  Paul remembers Roy for his challenging references to always being in the word of God and memorization the bible verses.  Paul will always remember Roy for the accountability he instilled in the group and how important it is for one's Spiritual growth and maturity.  

Paul walks a little further and noticed a small child.  As he approached he noticed that it wasn't just any child, but it was his son who died several years ago.  Paul choked up as his son ran up to him for a hug.

Paul: "Jeremy! I am so happy to see you!"

Jeremy: "Dad, do you remember the night I left earth?"

Paul: "I sure do Jeremy.  Our family cried and grieved because we knew you were never going to be with us until we got to heaven." 

Jeremy: " Dad, you will be happy to know that the first person I saw that night was Jesus when he came down to bring me home.  I felt this warm glow as though I was being told not to worry and that everything was going to be AOK.

Paul: " The same warm glow the moment I was struck by the speeding car"

Jeremy: " Yah that warm glow. You will be happy to know Dad that from the moment I have been in heaven it has been a beautiful time.  In this place there is no more pain or sorrow because we are with the Savior who came to prepare  a place for us."

Jesus: :" Paul and Jeremy, I just got a prayer call from your family.  They wanted me to give you two a hug from your mom and your brothers and sisters."

Jesus embraces both Paul and Jeremy.

Jeremy leads his dad to someone he really wanted him to know.

Jeremy: " Dad, this lady was my drama camp teacher.  Mrs. Anders was the one who prayed the salvation prayer the very morning I prayed along with her!"

Paul: " good to see you again!  I remember talking with you about Jeremy's accepting Jesus. I remember how my wife and I rejoiced and praised God in heaven.

Jesus:" I do remember how happy you were when Jeremy accepted me into his heart."

Mrs. Anders: "I always get a lump in my throat when one of my students prays the prayer!"  ''

Paul spent the next couple of hours meeting family and friends he hadn't seen in many years.

Jesus: " Are you enjoying yourself Paul?" 

Paul looks around the room full of friends.

Paul:  "Jesus, I am having a great time... It is good to be home." Paul turns and looks out the large stain glass window and is amazing of the beauty he sees outdoors.  The lush green trees, the blue lakes, and the song birds chirping which he can hear with his new heavenly body.He knew that he was going to love this place!

Where are the compassionate people?

Mark 8:2 I have compassion for these people; they have already been with me three days and have nothing to eat.

In this mornings Star Tribune newspaper I saw the headline in the north metro section. It simply read that Oak Grove city council refuses to recognize homeless awareness month.  Every other city in Anoka county agreed to pass this recognition except Oak Grove. One council member  believes that it isn't the responsibility for Anoka County or the cities to be pouring in tax payer dollars into programs for the homeless. He would prefer funding come through private donations. This council member went on to say how much he appreciates places like Mary's place in Minneapolis which only receives private funding.

The refusal to recognize that there is a problem with homelessness  is akin to sticking one's head in the sand and hoping the problem would just go away.  What these council members don't seem  to recognize is that  for the first time ever there is a 80 person waiting list for Anoka County lone homeless shelter, but then again if they ignore the problem it doesn't exist..

The reality is that homelessness does indeed exist. Once proud and successful people become homeless because of disability, economic or simply having unexpected high medical expenses that sends their mortgage into foreclosure.

One Sunday there was a homeless person who happened to walk into the building our Sunday school class was meeting in because he needed  a place to stay,  As I reflect on this person's situation I was reminded that the homeless have very few options of where they could go.

Not in my neighborhood seems to be rallying cry of many of the outlying suburbs.  Many may have forgotten, but before the city of Minneapolis stepped in to approve Mary Jo's place, this woman with a heart of gold tried to get some of the southern suburbs to approve plans for her homeless shelter.  One by one she presented full color displays and one by one each city rejected those plans essentially telling her, "not in our neighborhood."  It is more prestigious to have a upscale mall than a well designed homeless shelter in their back yard.

Whether we want to believe it or not homelessness is a growing problem and we do not need politicians to stick their heads in the sand and pretend it doesn't exist.  Unless we give people the dignity of having a bed to sleep on and food to eat they will never be able to work toward bettering their lives by retooling their skills  so they can find a decent job so they can afford permanent housing.  The homeless are in a state of survival where their primary focus is looking for their next meal.  They cannot focus on self actualization as Abraham Mazlow describes in his hierarchy of needs..

Just for once I would like the general public to reflect on the numbers of people who have gone on to become successful as a result of the safety net programs.  

It seems that we are more concerned about creating brand new stadiums to house our professional sports teams and provide creature comforts for those attending them than we are when we pass by a dirty person with a card board sign that says, " please help me, I'am homeless"  Why is it we are OK about spending billions of tax payer money on new ball parks for the wealthy than we are about spending money that will provide a safety net for those who find themselves homeless?

The video tape included on this blog interviews men who have found themselves homeless.  As you will see from this video these men are not too much different from you or I.

America is the home of the free and the land of the brave!

If the freedom of speech is taken away then dumb and silent we may be led, like sheep to the slaughter.
George Washington

I have never been more prouder of being an American as I am watching the political debates and asking these representatives to justify to me why they deserve to be re-elected.  Their promotion into the next term depends on whether they have successfully persuaded me to vote for them.  As a voter I will look at their track record of what they had done in their previous terms, or I will check the validity of what they accomplished by checking the facts.

At last nights debates I pictured the rest of the world watching these very same debates and actually envying our political process. Who could ever forget those images when Iraque held their first democratic election and how citizens of this country proudly held up their ink stained fingers as evidence they chose to risk their lives by being killed on their way to the polls just for voting in the first democratic election on this once enslaved country?

The America I grew up in encourages all citizens to vote regardless of ethnicity, disability, economic status, or gender. As a election judge I can testify that there is nothing more proud than to witness a new voter voting for the very first time.  To watch them come out from the booth with their completed ballot with the biggest smile on their face makes the long hours of monitoring the election worthwhile. In their moment of their excitement we often have to remind them that who they voted for is for only them to know.

America will always be the destination for the weary, the tired, and the afflicted from other lands.  People who would not have a chance of surviving in other countries have come to America where their fortunes had been found.  There is no other place on earth for those who are disabled because only in America do people succeed just on the basis of sheer grit, determination and hard work.

America has one of the greatest educational systems in the world that is also the envy of the world. There is no other place that has the variety higher learning institutions that fits every individual need of those attending those institutions. Not even England which has a sordid tradition of only rewarding higher education to those who score high enough in required exams comes close to having the depth and variety of our learning institutions

America is worth fighting for and it is worth traveling to the polls on election day November 6th and quietly casting your vote for those you want to represent you over the course of the next several years.  November 6th will be your time to hold up your completed ballot much like the citizens of new democracies hold up their ink stained hands. I know I will.

Run the race with perseverance and fix your eyes on Christ

12 Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, 2 [a]fixing our eyes on Jesus, the [b]author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Hebrews 12:1-3

We live in a generation where everything is done instantly. We're hungry and we make a drive through for a burger, fry and a soft drink.  We need money so we do a drive through run at the bank. We want to learn a new language and we are drawn to audio tapes that promises us a new language simply listening to them for 30 days on the way to school and work.  We're don't have time to return telephone calls so we call people back while we're going somewhere.  How often when someone talks to a friend and the person you are talking to has road noise in the background?

We have lost our ability to focus on the long term goal.  It is easier to train ourselves to run the short sprint than it is to run the two mile. Last spring my son, James joined his team's track team.  He was asked if he would be willing to run the 2 mile race and he said yes. As I watched all of the two mile runners I noticed something special about these guy's that I didn't necessarily see in the short sprinters. Perseverance. Every single one of these guys ran the race with perseverance just as Hebrews 12 instructs. These guys focused on the race and they 'fixed' their eyes on the finish line and they didn't get discouraged by another runner suddenly passing them up.  When it became evident that they weren't going to come in first they all strove to 'beat their time'.

Afflictions have a way of throwing us off course. Whether it is grieving the loss of a child, or breaking a leg there is no easy 30 day trial that will get you back in the game.  There is no drive up physical therapy clinic to easily fix that leg.  We must endure and persevere for how many months and years it will take to finally reach the finish line of our recovery.

There is good news in this world of instant gratification.  We have a Savior who is running the race with us and we have a Savior who is at the finish line cheering us on! God knew that this world would be a hard place to live in which is why he paved the way for all of us to experience his presence through Jesus Christ who ran His race and won.  So next time you get discouraged by your affliction just remember the words in Hebrews 12 and fix your eyes on Christ as your endure the race set before you.

Resetting of the grief button

Matthew 18:10 ESV / 1

“See that you do not despise one of these little ones. For I tell you that in heaven their angels always see the face of my Father who is in heaven. Matthew18:10

Our family just received one of those important news from your sponsored child letters from Compassion International today. It was the child that our daughter had sponsored.  Her name was Mischel Pumay and she lived with family and was attending a Compassion location in Guatemala.  We wrote letters to this girl and pictures that Maria had drawn were sent to her.  When Maria died we continued to support Mischel with financial and letter support. The letter was changed to 'The estate of Maria Gabrielson'.

The letter that was sent said that Mischel's family had moved away from the Compassion location and would no longer be involved in the Compassion program.  On an emotional level it felt like a huge emotional let down for our family.  As long as Mischel was part of our family's life there would be this connection with Maria.  On a logical level I understand that families move for a variety of reasons ranging from a parents new job in  a different neighboring village to moving to be closer to family.

Still it hurts. The letter was like removing a scab from a wound. Just when you think you have recovered the scab is removed and you relive the pain of loss. You relive the grief when your child died. Now, the pain is much shorter. It hurts a little while, but then it subsides. We reflect on the prayers and letters our family sent to her. We remember the moment we were notified that Mischel had prayed to received Jesus Christ into her heart and how we rejoiced for that decision she made.

This is what Compassion International is about. Opening up your hearts and sharing it with kids in countries like Guatemala. Through the compassion program their needs are met and they come to know Christ as their Savior and Lord.

Our family may never correspond with Mischel again, but we are grateful that we had a part in bringing the gospel to her.

We will probably request another child from the Compassion program simply because there are children who need this program. I encourage you to watch the above video and pray for the possibility of being part of a child's life through the Compassion program You will be glad you did.

A simple trip home down highway 169

Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.  James 4:14


Our family has taken the same trip home from church for over 20 years.  This was a beautiful Sunday afternoon with sun shining and warm temps. Suddenly, I saw brake lights in the cars ahead of us. I cautioned my wife to slow down in case she was slow to react to the scene I was seeing.

Then the cars came to a dead stop.  No it wasn't the power grid that went silent and all the computerized cars stopped operating. I glanced at the scene of the mayhem.  It looked like truck tires sticking up in the air.  My mind continued to analyzed the situation and noticed that it was a white suv with all of it's windows blown out lying on it's roof.  We were 3 cars behind the mayhem. I told my wife to call 9-1-1.  I presumed in this digital age that everyone else who had cell phones did so too.

My son and I got out and started walking toward the accident scene along with many other strangers that were on this  highway this Sunday afternoon. When I reach  the door there were two other ladies that were there first who helped maintain her calm until emergency help arrived. 

 Not sure if she climbed out of her upside down vehicle, but she was standing being held by these ladies. The lady that climbed out asked "what happened". The two ladies tried to  maintain her calm with appropriate responses. Then she said she felt her heart beating fast and she felt pain in her neck and shoulder's.  She was in a state of disorientation and shock. She didn't want to leave her vehical. Everyone of us in this same situation would be overcome with shock not wanting to believe that something traumatic happened to us.

Her SUV's contents were spewed out across the highway. Many library books, sheet music, 100's of recyclable metal can tops, DVD's and Minnesota Christian Chronicles  were blown across the highway like a disaster scene was unfolding. Many, many strangers were picking up these items and setting them back into the broken window of the overturned SUV.

One stranger decided to help direct some of the traffic around the accident.

This lady was fortunate.  There could have easily have been inattentive drivers behind her crashing into her vehicle, or even a chain collision.  The truck could have caught fire.

Then I heard the familiar sounds of help arriving.  First, there was the ambulance and then the police.  When I heard those sounds I couldn't have been happier.

The scene that we experienced reminds us how fragile life really is and how easily our life could be snuffed out in a tiny hair of a split second.   If this accident had occurred in the middle of December when the roads are slick I think the outcome would have been much different. 

No matter what happens in your life you can rest knowing that Christ is there to rescue you and bring you home to heaven.

Grief is harder the 2nd year after the loss of a child

“Then Jesus said, ‘Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.”’

Matthew 11:28

I was in the check out line recently to pay for my groceries when I noticed a headline in one of the tabloids, Maria Osmond is checking  into a mental hospital for electric-shock treatments. Keep in mine that I don't always believe everything I read in the tabloids just like I don't believe everything on the internet.. As I opened to the article I scanned it until I got  close to the end where it describes the stress's in her life.

Her son took his life in 2010, just 2 years ago

.I remembered when we finished our first year after the loss of our daughter and I made a  remark to my wife that we're almost to the end of the "season of grief"  In my mind I would assume that things would be back to normal after finishing that one year, after all, once you experience every holiday for the first time without your loved one things will return to normal?  Or will they?

The one year rule for grief is a total myth.  That is assuming that grief is like a quick sprint which it is not.  Grief is more like running a 26 mile marathon through the Arizona desert during the hottest time of the year where every step you take is painfully slow.

Having been down that road of grief I could understand the pain which Maria Osmond was experiencing. If my grief journey is any indication the quiet times at night were the hardest when you are trying to sleep.  It is in the darkness and solitude that one  replaysf all of the mistakes you made along the way of parenting your child. 

 As a mom Maria Osmond sent her son off to college where she would have the opportunity to see her son become the man she raised her son to be, but what she got was a totally different matter.  Going from happiness and joy of seeing her son transition into another stage of life to utter despair of trying to make sense of her son's death now became unbearable for her to handle.

Maria Osmond did the right thing.  Realizing she could not process her grief alone she put her self in a protective environment of a hospital where she could receive the professional care she needed to process the trauma and grief.  It is not shameful to have to admit you need professional help to deal with the pain of loss.

Are you ready to run along side your friend who has experience a traumatic loss?  Are you ready to run a marathon and not just a sprint with that person?  

As we attend our worship services this morning remember we have a God who truly recognizes our pain and He wants us to call on his name whenever we have a burden.

Laughter is medicine for the soul

3:4 A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance

I must admit that when I was grieving it was very hard to crack a smile, or even respond with laughter to something that was funny.  I read that it takes more muscles to make a frown than it takes to make a smile. No wonder a person who grieves is exhausted at the end of the day.  They may not have a very productive day work wise, but they are dog gone tired none the less.

There were two friends that are real good about assuring that a person's funny bone is tickled and these two friends had me laughing  each time we got together for breakfast after Maria died. Joe Lovitt and Ken Kalamaha are two very good friends of mine  who were there to help turn my weeping into laughter.

 Ken and I became friends through the Crystal Single Adults group at Crystal free church.  He and I had fun coming up with creative ways to date our girl friends. When the four of us got together Ken had me literally  laughing so hard that I would be on the floor.  Our most memorable 4 some was when Ken and I decided to surprise our girl friends by taking them to the Minnesota State Fair  IN STYLE. That is right.  We rented a limo to pick our girl friends up and the 4 of us sat in this STRETCH limo and enjoyed the scenery UNTIL we got to the SNELLING AVENUE TRAFFIC!  We had so much budgeted and when we noticed the traffic we decided to get out 2 blocks away from our arrival and walk the rest of the way.  To this day I get the giggles when I think of this memorable date.  Remembering this date is a reminder how important it is for us guys to always think ahead and come up with and refreshing ideas to court our spouses, especially when we are in the season of life of grieving.

Joe Lovitt is another good friend we originally met in our Homebuilder's Sunday school class at church.Joe and his wife Jenny have written and directed numerous drama's that have impacted the people who watch them. I remember my wife and I attending one of Joe's stand up comedy routines and thinking to ourselves what a joy it was to actually be laughing instead of mourning.I guess the thing that really gets me in the mood to laugh is to remind myself that our loved ones are right now exercising their funny bones!  Heaven is going to be a rip roaring good time like the words from Owl City's 'always a good time'.

 Ken and Joe are two guys that had me laughing so hard that my ribs cage would hurt. The only time I would not recommend  laughing this hard would be after you had open heart surgery and your chest was being held together with staples.  Ouch. Come to think of it these two guys should come with a warning label: Warning, laugh at your own risk. Avoid laughing after surgery.

Everyone who travels the grief road needs to have at least a couple of friends who are good at bringing the lighter side out of you every now and then just as Proverbs reminds us.  Yes, comedians are a gift from God. Laughter is good for the soul!  Actually that is my paraphrase version!

God never, never, never,never gives up on you

But others fell on good soil and produced a crop. They grew up, increased in size, and produced 30, 60, or 100 times what was sown." Mark 4:8

I have this peace plant sitting in my office. The plant has deteriorated over the years. Still in it's original container the plant isn't doing so well. I refuse to give up on it. The peace plant was given to us shortly after Maria died. Someone suggested that I re-pot the plant and get some fresh soil around the roots and then nourish it with plant food and fresh water. In just a week I noticed that the plant is beginning to come back.

Isn't that the way it works in life?  The culture we live in could determine whether we thrive or die depending on the environment our roots are laid down?. We hang around drug users and pretty soon we become one ourselves.  We go out to the bars with friends and pretty soon we're having booze parties at our home.  We hang around people who like dope and pretty soon we start using it.  We innocently look at pornography on the internet and pretty soon we have a mindless addiction that we cannot quit.  Our roots are in the wrong soil just like my plant..

Which is why Minnesota Teen Challenge has the best record for success of any treatment program.  They take the adults from their old soil where their roots are dying and they put them into the new soil (treatment program) and surround them with people who will encourage them on their sobriety goals and share God's love with them so Christ can really do what He does best which is to change a person from the inside out.

What kind of soil are your roots in?  Is it old and brittle?  Does your pot need to be changed and fresh dirt added to a completely different pot?  Are you giving it all of the wrong nourishment much like those with chemical or psychological addictions?  

Just when you may feel like giving up God isn't ready to throw in the towel. We all love come back stories where someone comes back from extraordinary odds to win some athletic competition. A recent example was watching a double amputee win in one of the running events with his set of running blades. The movie series, Rocky Balboa, is another popular example of people loving comeback stories.

Will you be the next comeback story after re-planting your roots deep into fresh soil and watering and nourishing those roots so those roots will grow deeper?  God will help you find your fresh soil. Won't you go to him now and ask Him to help you?

Heaven's equipment room

Philippians 3:21
[Jesus Christ] who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body.

When we one day see our Savior we will exchange our weather and time beaten earthly bodies for our heavenly one. This is the exchange I see take place in Heaven's equipment room.  Jesus is in the equipment room ready to greet each person as they newly arrive. In comes a 60 year old man dressed in his work clothes. He walks with a limp and has a large gash on his head from a fall.

Jesus: Paul, it is good to see you.

Paul: Jesus, is that really you?  Am I really here?

Jesus:  Paul, you are really here. Your time on earth has concluded.

Paul:  How did I die?

Jesus:  You were in a car accident. A speeding car crashed into you. Our heavenly angels came down and met you at the scene.

Paul:  That must have been when I felt this incredible peace.  I felt this warm glow that told me not to worry.

Jesus: You gave your life to many people Paul.  I am so proud that you became an organ donor.  Your heart is going to a young man with a degenerative disease heart a new life.  Your cornea's are going to a young school teacher with failing eye sight. Your lungs are going to a 17 year old who will now have a chance to breath and live life to the fullest.

Paul: I really love you Jesus. You were there for me whenever I called your name.

Paul::  I remember how you came and rescued our family when our young child died. I felt this warm glow when you and your angels rescued our family. Much like I do now!.

Jesus:  Paul, when you accepted me into your life when you were a kid I never forgot you.  I watched you grow up into a handsome young man.  I was proud of you for taking a stand for other kids who were defenseless and picked on.

Paul: Jesus, I could do that because of the strength you gave me.  I had nothing to fear when you were guiding me.  You helped me with all of my decisions in my life.

Jesus: I was a simple prayer call away.

Paul:  I remembered not really knowing what I should do in my time on earth and you answered my prayer and helped me to pick my vocation.

Jesus:  You were a very gifted therapist.

Paul:  I loved my line of work.  Each time I saw a patient I knew you were there giving me the right words to say and you were there helping me guide each patient.  My work didn't seem like such a burden.

Jesus: Work is never a burden if you choose something you are truly gifted in.

Paul: Almost like playing is to a child.

Jesus:  I was proud of you for volunteering on all of those mission trips.  There were many people who were strengthened in their walk with me because of your witness.  I remember one young man on one of your trips. He seemed insecure and how he walked in his own shadow.  He was impressed with how you lead the group and what care you took to make each member feel welcomed.

Paul:  What happened to him?

Jesus: That is the beautiful part.  when he returned home he rededicated his life to me and got involved in a discipleship group with other Christians.  His whole life changed and I remember all of the prayer calls he made to me. I helped him to locate a wonderful woman who became his wife. They had 4 little ones who all asked me to come into their lives. That young man is now serving me with his family in full time service.  Every once a while he will call me to tell me how thankful he was for you showing God's love to him.

Paul: Me?

Jesus: yes.  that is only one story. There are many more who were touched in ways that you can't imagine.

Paul: Jesus, what is going to happen to my wife and my kids?  I feel this glow, but they are probably missing me terribly.

Jesus:  Just as my angels were there to rescue you I will send angles to comfort them as they miss you.

Paul:  I loved my wife so very much.  and my kids. They were the greatest kids a man could ever ask for.

Jesus:  You do not need to be afraid. Already I have plans for them. Each of them have called me and I have answered their calls.  i have plans to bring Christian's into their lives who will help them recover from their grief.  The body of Christ will be there for each of them.  Their faith will strengthen because of what I will do for them.

Paul: ( FOR THE FIRST TIME PAUL FEELS THE GASH ON HIS FACE FROM THE ACCIDENT)

Paul:  am I bleeding?

Jesus: you were, but we're going to exchange your well worn earthly body for a Spiritual one. ( Jesus shows him his)

PAUL: That looks so new. Why there isn't a blemish on it!  ( Paul tries it on)  I feel like a new man.

Jesus:  Your new body won't have any limitations like you had on earth.  You will be able to run as fast as you like. your energy will be endless.

Paul:  my new eyes!  I can really see far! I won't need glasses. My new ears!  I can hear so well.

Jesus:  Well done my good and faithful servant. Go and explore your new place.  There will be a reception line of people you knew on earth and who went before you ready to greet you and give you hugs. Welcome home, Paul, welcome home.

I am so proud of our son

Isaiah 40:28-31 Have you not known? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. Even youths shall faint and be weary,and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.

James was only 12 when he lost his sister the tragic night of June 10th, but when I look back over those years I see evidences of God's tender mercies on his life.  Every since he was a baby he loved to laugh and smile. He was our families entertainer since he could barely walk. There wasn't a day that didn't go by where he didn't bring a smile to our faces. James made friends easily and those who became his friends were his friends for life. James often became friends with those who were considered not cool by the in crowd.

I remembered when one newcomer came to his school James took it upon himself to include him part of his circle of friends because he didn't want to see him bullied by the cool kids. 

While watching his parents grieving for their daughter our son stayed involved in his New Song Kid's Choir which had practices every week and concerts every month. He loved to sing and more importantly he loved to play the piano. Our God gave our son a gift and it was the gift of music which is a gift that will keep on blessing everyone who comes within ear shot of his playing.

I am extremely proud of my son. It wasn't easy to lose his sister at such a young age, but because he understood the scriptures he knew that Maria was enjoying heaven and he knew that while Maria's life ended his life continues.

At our son's senior soccer recognition game he had the above verse by his name. I especially loved the last part with the words 'they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint'.  It brings a smile to my face when I visualize our Lord carrying each of us on wings like eagles and it really brings a smile to my face when I see how much our Lord loves my son and desires  to see him thrive.

When two parents are in the throes of grief it is important to remember that we have a Father in heaven who loves our surviving children so much that he will sustain them and bring them out of this painful time stronger and better.