What a difference two days make. June 9th was a beautiful Saturday when we brought our daughter home from the hospital. We were in a celebratory mood as we looked toward the future of improved quality of life for our little girl. Then the inevitable happened. The moment the chaplain came out of her bedroom where he received the grim news that our daughter could not be revived it was as though the trap door below us had opened and we were plunged down a narrow passageway of darkness and despair with no end in sight. We could hear occasional supportive words of encouragement, but our rational minds could not grasp those concepts.
When we slowly began to see light it was then that I noticed that we were different than we were the afternoon on June 9th. Our lives took an abrupt detour through the land of despair and all 3 of us began to grieve so differently almost like we all spoke a different language and had different customs. We thought we knew each other, but in fact we didn't.
As grief continues it is common to react to others in ways that you normally would not respond that way. As I tried to work through the anger stage of my grief I said some things to my wife that I knew I shouldn't have said. It was as though I was blindly throwing darts at a dartboard and missing the mark each time. In time I began to see the collateral damage I had made with my poorly use of words.
I credit my involvement in a trusting therapeutic relationship with a clinical psychologist and the various grief support groups for helping me 'keep my sanity' and to help me reconnect with my family. Our family's faith in Jesus Christ and the support from our church were phenomenal. As we traveled those dark days those seemingly trite reminders that she was in heaven and Christ makes all things new again finally began to take root in our hurting souls so true healing can begin.
It is in grief that the whole biblical concept of 'forgiveness' becomes reality. To see that Christ died for you and suffered on the cross for you is absolutely phenomenal in a time we feel like insignificant cogs in a machine. It was through the atonement that God has forgiven your entire past of wrongdoings. Every word you may have said and every wrong deed you might have done has been entirely wiped clean because of what His son did on the cross. God is truly amazing and he really makes all things new again. I was reminded that heaven is a very real place and although our little girl's journey ended our journey continues.
If you are grieving right now you can rest knowing that one day your rational thought process will return. Until that day arrives allow the comforting words of your friends and Pastor to seep into your soul where one day they will blossom into visible reminders about how far you have traveled in your grief journey and everything is going to be OK.
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