June 10th is a date our family will always remember as the day our daughter Maria died.

 

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I would be completely remiss to not mention anything about our daughter Maria on the anniversary of her death on June 10th, 2007, a day that is forever etched in our memories.  It was the day before on a Saturday when she was discharged from St. Paul Gillette Hospital where she had successful orthopedic surgery to correct the impairment caused by her mild spastic cerebral palsy.  

Her summer was all planned out with friend visits, medical and physical therapy appointments all for the purpose of getting her ready to begin her fifth grade at Meadow Creek Christian School ( now referred to as Legacy Christian academy).

 It was in the early morning hours of June 10th when the commotion began when the EMTs arrive at our house to take over the life-saving responsibilities of my wife's brother Bill. It was in those same hours when our children's pastor, Greg Braley, arrived at our home to comfort our family.  He just happened to be the on-call pastor that night after recently arriving home from his trip to California. 

In addition,  the police chaplain from the city of Coon Rapids who was the senior pastor at the baptist church in Anoka came to our home to comfort us in our time of need.  

As Maria's dad, I had high hopes that the EMTs would find a pulse and she would wake up crying for her mom and dad.   I wished that would have been the case. I prayed it would be the case, but the opposite occurred when the police chaplain came out and told our family in the most gentle way that they did all they could, but they could not find a pulse.  Just like that, she was gone. 

 I will never forget the primal screams that came out of the voices of each of our family members. I hadn't heard those sounds since I was a boy hearing my dad crying when the hospital told him that his last surviving member of his family had died on the operating table. 

I was told that they announced Maria's death in the church service that morning and there was eery silence before loud sobs that occurred around the sanctuary.   The death of a child is every parent's worse nightmare and a journey they wish no one would have to journey on. 

Since her death, I learned that the medical examiner determined that it was the Opioid pain medication that failed to metabolize in her bloodstream that caused her death. In 2007, these medications were considered the standard of care for children undergoing orthopedic surgery, but in 2016 the FDA concluded that Opioids should never be prescribed to children under 18 because of the risk of respiratory depression. 

Since her death, I had the occasion to meet other families who suffered from the loss of a child. I had the privilege to walk beside people going through similar losses through grief share. My Facebook page is filled with friends who suffered similar losses. 

 I learned that by sharing my story and through my faith in Jesus Christ that I can give hope to people that it is possible to recover from this type of loss.  

There are so many people I personally want to thank for supporting me on this journey. Friends like Dave Nyce, Mark Schneider, John Niessen, Jody Abboud and her husband Saado, Pastor Matthew St. John, our former Pastor, Stephen Goold. I also want to thank Jake Mulvihill, director of Legacy Christian Academy, who reached out to me from time to time with words of encouragement and a listening ear. We are indebted to these people and others too numerous to mention for lending their listening ear.

Finally, my faith in Jesus Christ has kept me alive and strong through the darkest days of my life.  I learned that Jesus Christ is not some distant nonverbal being who does not personally care for us, but he is a living Shepherd who is able to walk with us every step of the way of our journey of grief.

My faith in Jesus Christ which began with the salvation prayer I made in the early spring of 1974 assured me not only my eternal destiny but also gave me the hope that I will one day see Maria again.  Until then, my goal is to continue sharing my faith story and leading others to Jesus.

If you are struggling through the incredible pain after the loss of a loved one there is hope that is as close as a grief share group.  https://griefshare.org