Psalm 38:4-5New Living Translation (NLT)
4 My guilt overwhelms me—
it is a burden too heavy to bear.
5 My wounds fester and stink
Because of my foolish sins.
These are the wounds we try to hide behind new cars, tough talk, bright smiles, hard work, and good deeds- anything to avoid being exposed. Why is it we spend more time tending to the ailments of our physical bodies than we do with our minds? Our American culture teaches us that pain and suffering are something to be ashamed of and must be buried deep in the inner vaults of our minds. We find the thought of seeing a therapist an admission that we are too weak to handle life's problems. On the contrary, a real man is someone who isn't afraid to share what is on his mind.
Unless we face our wounds, according to Dr.Stephens, our wounds can become shame based.
SHAME'S TALK GOD'S ANSWER
I am damaged I will heal you
I am dirty I will wash you whiter than snow
I am incompetent I will teach you all you need to know
I am stupid I will fill you with wisdom
I am unwanted I made you
I am weak In your weakness I am made strong
I am hopeless I will give you hope
I am unloveable I sent my Son to die for you.
I am nothing You are my child I am worthless You are precious
Dr. Stephns presents five basic truths toward which shame points us. Shame is
1. a symptom indicating something is wrong.
2. a recognition of our limitations
3. a reminder that we are flawed
4. a defense against pride
5. a chance to better understand our wounds.
Dr. Stephans reminds us that "readjusting our perspective using these truth based lines of thinking allows our shame to become redemptive, rather than destructive. God's grace is ultimately the best cure for debilitating shame, for it takes away the two things that give shame it's power- rejection and abandonment.
No matter how painful something is, we must face it.
Ignoring a wound does not make it go way. Robert C. Larson wrote, "unfriendly ghosts from your past may never disappear entirely. They can return to haunt you at a moment's notice. The key is to keep meeting these apparitions head on.
Stare straight ahead into the dark eyes of your wounds- remembering the situations, experiencing the feelings, dealing directly with the guilt and shame.
In Healing our Memories, David Simonds writes, "The harder we try to keep bad memories out of our conscious recall, the more powerful they become. Since they are not allowed to enter through the private door of our minds directly, they come into our personalities, ( body, mind and spirit) in disguised destructive ways." Drugs, alcohol, promiscuity,work-alcoholism,isolationism loss of motivation, avoidance of relationships are just some of the destructive patterns that can happen if we attempt to avoid the realities of our pain.
The bottom line is this: we have to learn to talk about our feelings, our pain and take risks to allow others into our inner circle who will listen to us. If we avoid doing this and continue constructing walls around us to protect our fragile ego from getting hurt, we run the risk of far deeper pain that will eventually impact the body with life-threatening illnesses and other diseases.
God's promises to anyone experiencing trauma is that he will never waste your pain, but will use it for good to help others just entering their painful experiences in life.
Like a loving parent, God wants to have a personal relationship with you. He understands what you are going through because he is a God that is bigger than your pain, stronger than your festive wounds and compassionate enough to walk with you through journey's end.
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