Christmas time can be a brutal time when we are missing someone for the very first time. Remember, God wants to walk with you in your pain.

This approaching Christmas season is hard for those going through the grief journey. Whether it is missing a spouse, a child, a grandparent, or a mom or dad, the pain is very real and the best thing we can do is lean into our pain and let the tears flow. I remember that first Christmas in 2007, a time that seemed so surreal as though it was just a bad dream and we wanted to wake up and see our loved one again. Sigh....There were many dreams I had of Maria that first year after her loss. These types of dreams I called miracle moments as thought God wanted to remind us that Maria was okay and we didn't need to worry about her.

It was also this timeperiod that I discovered the value of journaling my thoughts, sometimes at odd hours of the night. Some would call this lamenting because it is a way to express the inner anguish out on paper. I knew from the beginning that I needed to get through the inner pain without resorting to alcohol or drugs to cope with it.

I also knew that I needed to stay true to my Savior Jesus Christ, the one who saved my soul when I was only 18 and a newly highschool graduate. The person who led me through the salvation prayer reminded me that life will be filled with blessings and tragedies, but then reminded me that the good shepherd would walk every painful step with me until I fully recover from my grief.

Today, there are many others suffering difficult journeys from their losses. Covid deaths, suicides, Opioid overdose deaths, and for others death from medical procedures gone wrong. The pain is intense and real. The best I can offer is a listening ear and reassurance that they will survive their grief at a time-line that is right for them. Only God knows the time it takes for them to recover and the worse thing we can do is tell them to move on with their grief.

In the case of losing a child or young adult son or daughter, there is no set timeline when recovery will occur, but the more one leans into their pain, shares with other trusted listeners, and getting involved in a grief share group, the higher the liklihood that recovery will occur.

In this brief video they illustrate some tips on how to get through the holidays.