This Christmas movie illustrates the impact that unresolved grief can have on the lives of people

Over the last several months I have become aware of sudden deaths of people I knew.

A couple of these deaths were by suicide while one death was from the medical complications following their surgery.

So many of us refuse to go to the dark places we needed to go in order to start the healing process. We would rather turn to Alcohol and drugs to cope with the lingering pain following the loss. For some, this pain lingers as long as 20 years or longer before we realize we need help. During this time, Alcohol and drugs can have damaging effects on the human body the longer the unresolved grief goes.

Without giving away the movie, the older brotherof Benji, who died when he was just 5 was profoundly impacted by his mother's severe alcoholism and hoading behaviors after Benji's death and his dad's abandonment when he left the family.

In one touching scene, the father said to his son when he finally arrived to see him, " I should have done something to stop Benji from climbing that tree." Could of, Should of statements are the most common things we do after the death of a loved one. We think we did something wrong that lead to their death. We grow angry at God and literally shut him out of our lives when a loved one dies.

We rationalize to ourselves that if God is so good, then he would never allow for me to suffer. We forget that God gave us free will and the capability to make our own decisions. Benji wanted to climb that tree to hang the treasured Christmas ornament without realizing the slippery conditions on the branch he stood on. He made the choice to climb without realizing that his life would end. His brother, nor his dad could do nothing to save him.

When complex traumatic losses occur the best we can do is to find trusted listeners who we are comfortable to share our pain without being judged. We need to learn how to openly express our pain for as long as it takes to recover. We need people to know that the grief journey is one that goes at the pace of the one that experience loss.

The last thing grieving people need is to be told to get over it and move on. These types of comments only complicates the grief process.

What we need is Grief share, a 13-week support group that teaches you to go through the pain instead of around it. Grief share is based on 13 weeks of videos of various topics that includes homework assignments through the From Mourning to Joy workbook. Grief share brings participants from anger to forgiveness. The final chapter teaches participants what Heaven is like with the hope that they will see their loved ones again.

For anyone interested in joining a grief share group simply click on this website. I encourage you to watch this Christmas movie.