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Wednesday, February 24, 2021

At some point in one's grief journey you will come to a fork in the road: (1) the road of bitterness and (2) the road of forgiveness

 


32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Ephesians 4:32

Grief is something that most people are ill-equipped to handle until they discovered that someone they loved has just died.  Eventually, most will come to the fork in the road. One is the road of bitterness that if they remain on that road for any length of time will lead to serious health problems that for some will lead to their early demise. If they begin consuming excessive alcohol, consuming more illicit drugs it will cause damage to the cardiovascular system that will make them prone to sudden heart attacks, loss of kidney function, and make them prone to succumbing to the Covid-19 virus. Most people are remaining on the road of bitterness.

Yet, this is where our faith comes helps us to heal from that bitterness that we have harbored toward those we blame for our loved one's death. You only have to watch the national news to see the anger and hate toward anyone responsible for the death of their loved one.

Like most, I was on the road of bitterness after my loss. I blamed God and the medical community for the loss of my loved one. I didn't think it was fair that I would be forced to suffer in the absence of my loved one while so many still had theirs to continue to celebrate birthdays and other events.

In my case, my anger was toward the surgeon who I thought was responsible for putting her on the pain medication that she wasn't able to metabolize. After reviewing her death with several attorneys and reading the holy scriptures, I came to the conclusion that I needed to meet with this professional man and surgeon and forgive him for having doubt in the way he treated my loved one.  I still remember that day when my wife and I met with him at his office in Minnetonka. It was a very moving time for all three of us as we shared stories of our loved one and he shared stories of the little girl that he never intended to harm.

Since that meeting, I have had the occasion to refer other families of children with special needs to this doctor, including a girl in a Guatemalan orphanage who needed to see an orthopedic specialist for her hip condition.  As I look back, I knew that none of those things would be possible unless I was able to forgive.

Forgiveness is only possible when you draw close to Jesus Christ, the one who died for you on the wooden cross of Calvary.  Though I miss my loved one, I'm assured by the promises in God's word that I will see her again when my work is completed here on earth.

Bitterness or Forgiveness, the choice is yours. One leads to an early death, while the other will lead to good health and happiness.   May God continue to reveal Himself to you on this journey of sorrow.

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