A Second death

At our weekly grief share group we talked about how grieving is like surviving a 2nd death. It is as though we are lying inside our casket calling on God to take us out.  When a loved one dies it is as though part of us died with the loved one while the other part continues to be alive.  We ache and we just want to pain to go away not realizing that God will heal you of your pain in his perfect timing. This is the hard part for most American's who want to short circuit the grief process and rush back into being normal again.  They will do anything to end the pain except participate in a grief group to help them process their pain.

Alcohol and drugs become the coping mechanism for many in the grief process. When asked why they don't try a grief group most will simply say they don't need one.  This is why grieving can be so hard on husbands and wives and why most marriages are severely tested with the loss of loved one.  Men and woman are vulnerable to having illicit affairs because the marriage relationship has drifted off onto separate paths as  a result of the different ways each person is grieving.

Men and woman, you owe it to your marriages to work on your grief through a grief group. If you are playing the 'what if' games over the loss of your child you owe it to yourself to humbly seek out a competent psychotherapist to help you process the shock of your loss. Remember, you are not crazy just because you see a psychologist! Those who do not see a one are the ones that truly have the problem.

Finally, you must remember that recovery from grief takes time and cannot be compared to anyone else's grief. If you are trying to recover from the loss of a loved one If you are involved in a local church I would encourage you to contact their care ministries and investigate getting into a grief support group where you will have an opportunity to meet with others who are experiencing a loss. You will not regret it.   Watch this excellent 25 minute video on what grief is.