How our Children Mourn

The death of a love one can have a profound impact on the most vulnerable among us. Our children.  One teenager I spoke with told me that he went from being a child to adult status in a matter of moments when he lost his sibling through unexpected means. It is important that our school staff are made aware of the profound effects of grieve so they will be able to find ways of supporting these children.

On the one hand these children are at school with their friends who are laughing and having fun, but when these kids return home they walk through the front door into an atmosphere of sadness, emotional upheaval and a world that feels very insecure. It is quite common for parents to play down the word death by explaining in fluffy terms what happened to their love one. Daddy has gone away, or your younger brother went to sleep. We must avoid using these terms and allow our children to know the truth of what happened.

Many families will also shield their children from the pain of loss by not taking them to family funeral's  When we do that we avoid possible teaching moments for our kids.  For example, one year before our daughter died we took both of our kids to a funeral of a staff person who lost her still born child. Although it was uncomfortable my wife and I felt it was essential to teach our children that death is part of life when someone dies it is important that we take time out to pay our respects to that person who has died.


This CBS clip deals with the subject of grieving children. It is hopeful the reader of this blog post will come away with a better understanding regarding how to help grieving children.