Colleges need to offer grief support to students grieving

Divorce, death of a parent, death of a sibling, break up of a relationship, suicide of a classmate, loss of a close family member, a parents loss of a career, uncertainty of what to pursue for a career all have the same common denominator which is grief.

Kids will often times not begin grieving for their loss until years later and often it doesn't begin until they transition to a new phase of their life which is going away to college.  Colleges do a great job high lighting their many amenities such as having a all you can eat food service, a beautiful new campus library, to having extracurricular activities, but no where in do I find mentioned having grief support groups, or individuals who are gifted at listening to young people talk about their grief struggles. Why? Could it be that we misconstrue grief recovery with moving on and burying our grief? After all, isn't that wh.at good American's should do?In one local community I read first hand how powerful grief can be on our young people. In the Hastings newspaper I read, 'The trauma for Hastings High School and the community began in early September with the death of 16-year-old Maddy Sake in a car crash.

A month later, a 17-year-old boy she had dated hanged himself. The anxiety level increased when, on the day of the boy's funeral, a second student hanged himself. A day after that death, a well-known 19-year-old former Hastings student was found dead in his dorm room at the University of Wisconsin in Madison.
Less than a week later, police said, a 46-year-old woman hanged herself in her home.The cluster of deaths so close together had police, educators and mental health experts worried that the situation was on the verge of becoming a suicide "contagion.'  Now you tell me if that isn't a powerful reminder regarding whether grief is real and needs to be handled better by our institutions?   

The harsh reminder to all of us is that just because we may have a strong Christian faith and a Calvinistic view of life (God chose to take the person) does not exclude us from grieving. There is no correlation between growing strong in the Lord and being able to bury our grief. Storms do come and when they come it  should be our responsibility as parents to make sure our young people are reminded that just because you cry or admit you have been struggling from your loss does not make you weak minded. On the contrary, being able to use all of your emotions and confessing to others your struggles makes you a well rounded person.

Finally, it really isn't until we get half way through the storm of grief when we find out that Jesus is the master of our grief.because He understands what exactly we are going through with it. He understands what it is like to be rejected, spat at, have nails driven into his hands and feet and to cry out in pain like there is no tomorrow. If you are grieving do not try to bury and forget your grief. Instead, lean in to your grief and be willing to tell someone how you are hurting. 

While writing this blog I discovered an organization that has the mission of helping college students grieve. The website is/ www.studentsofamf.org   I encourage you to go this website and read some of the testimonials and then make sure the college your son or daughter is attending becomes aware of this organization.  Becoming a man or woman of God doesn't mean that we have to bury and forever forget our grief because if we do our grief will merely wait for us and will compound as we grief other losses. Tell someone when you are hurting.You will be glad you did.  I know I did when our family loss our 10 year old daughter Maria through unforeseen circumstances in June 2007.