Gasping for Breath

One of my earliest childhood memories took place at the Foley pool where I was in the water with my cousins. Normally, I would have been in the shallow end with all of the small kids except I made a split second decision to get out and run over to the other side of the pool to join my older cousins.  The moment I jumped in I knew I was in trouble. Not feeling bottom anywhere near me I started doing the only thing I knew how which was to  thrash around with my arms and legs. It wasn't helping. I remember looking up and seeing the bottom surface of the top of the water.  I was desperate for air.  When it seemed like all was hopeless I felt a hand reaching from above grab me and pull me to the surface. My life had been spared.

A split second is all it takes to cause all of the 'what if's' and the 'why's to kick in to cause us many sleepless nights. Grief will do that to you. If only I had taking my love one to the doctor sooner. If only we had done this procedure. If only we had delayed the surgery. If only we didn't have the surgery. If only he would have listened and gone to treatment.

The problem with the if only's is it delays your ability to work through the grief process.   Because of that reality we have to face the fact that we need God to guide  us through this process.  In the gospels Jesus often used the illustration of the storm to drive the point across He will always be with us.  When the white caps are everywhere and the boat we are in is in danger of capsizing Jesus is there to comfort us and provide us with a measure of hope that things will be ok.  I keep reminding myself that although we would rather have Maria here on earth where she could continue to be our daughter and James younger sister I know that she is experiencing a heaven so wonderful that there is no way I would want her back here. I also find comfort knowing that when my time  on earth expires I will one day see Christ and breath in the wonderful heavenly air and I will see my daughter again.

Until we are called home God wants to use us to bring his message to a dying world.  A world that is unable to see any hope through the maze of bad news.  A world full of people who have no hope unless we bring them the good news.

God wants us to rely on him for all things, all comfort, and all guidance. In Philippians 4:7 it says, " and the peace of God which surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Whatever happens in your 'split seconds' that causes your universe to be overturned you can rest knowing that God is a master at helping us overcome those moments of upheavals that often filter into our lives.