My wife and I attended the 7:15 showing of 'I still believe', a story of Jeremy Camp's anguish and healing after his wife lost her battle to cancer. As I watched, I realized how refreshing it was to see a man's emotions so easily displayed after loss occurs. Jeremy met his first wife, Melissa, at college. He was drawn to her for her faith and desire to be a witness to others for Christ. Fast forward many months and now Melissa is Jeremy's fiance. She is in the audience of one of his concerts not long after they received the news of her cancer. He asked if everyone would lift their hands toward Melissa to pray for her healing. Several months later they received the news the cancer remission. They planned a wedding and were married in a beach ceremony conducted by Jeremy's dad. They went on the honeymoon with no unexpected issues, but toward the end of their honeymoon Melissa began feeling an ache in her stomach. When they returned to their home and saw the wedding gifts and the welcome home signs Melissa's symptoms began to get worse until she asked that her husband bring her to the hospital. Jeremy would find out from the doctor that her cancer had spread though out her body and their was little hope for her survival. Jeremy stayed by her side until the very end and watched the hospital staff unplugged the machines that monitored her vital signs.
"I Still Believe"
Scattered words and empty thoughts
seem to pour from my heart
I've never felt so torn before
seems I don't know where to start
but it's now that I feel Your grace falls like rain
from every fingertip, washing away my pain
The only place I can go is into your arms
where I throw to you my feeble prayers
in brokenness I can see that this was your will for me
Help me to know You are near
where I throw to you my feeble prayers
in brokenness I can see that this was your will for me
Help me to know You are near
I suppose Jeremy was questioning the goodness of God and wondered why God allowed this to happen to a young woman he loved and wanted to spend every day with her? I suppose his mind went back to the concert with thousands of people praying and lifting their hands toward Melissa and the healing that shortly would happen with the help of the medical community?
I could relate to the very emotions Jeremy was experiencing when my 10 year old daughter, Maria died the first night home from the hospital where she had had successful surgery for better alignment of her hip, back and knee. My mind went back to the kid's prayer team at our church when a prayer blanket was laid across Maria as 20 kid's laid hands on her for her healing. I remembered being so angry with God when she never woke up for my wife to check on her that first night. My anger filled many pages of my journal and later in a blog until one day my anger was gone. My book, 'A fathers grief from anger to forgiveness after the loss of my daughter was the result of the completion of my journey.
Jeremy Camp was so angry with God that he smashed his prized guitar his dad had given him breaking it into a hundreds of pieces. He laid on the floor crying out his anguish. Jeremy looked across the floor and discovered in the midst of the broken strings and broken pieces of that guitar were journal writings from Melissa. As he read each one a little smile would begin to be evident. One journal writing asked him to pick up his guitar again. He knew he had smashed this guitar, but across the room was his other one he had for many years, and so he began playing and composing a song in honor of his loved one.
After one concert a woman sought him out after recognizing who he was at the concert. He learned that she was in that same hospital that Melissa was in and told him that she came to a personal relationship with Jesus Christ because of Melissa's conversation with her Her name was Adrienne and in time she became his wife.
Jeremy learned as I also learned that God is a good God even when the unthinkable happens to us. The bible talks about grieving with hope. There is this hope because of Jesus death and resurrection from the cross. His death enabled all of us to come to God. His death gives us a new hope that when each of us takes our final breath on this side of the veil that we would take our first breath in heaven, but God gives us free will to make that decision.
You can be assured of your own eternal destiny simply by praying these words: Dear Lord Jesus, I know that I am a sinner, and I ask for Your forgiveness. I believe You died for my sins and rose from the dead. I turn from my sins and invite You to come into my heart and life. I want to trust and follow You as my Lord and Savior.
If you say those words with heartfelt compassion I assure you like Melissa and my daughter Maria you will awaken in this new place called heaven once your mission on earth is fulfilled.
If you are in pain after a loss of someone special in your life, I would encourage you to sign up for this 13-week Grief share group which is design to teach you how to go through the pain, not around it. https://www.griefshare.org
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