We must not underestimate the power of a father in the life of his family..some thoughts

16 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16

My dad, like most dad's raised in the post depression era had this false hope that all that was required of them was to provide a living for their families. In the era I grew up in it was very common for mothers to stay home with their kids while dad's went out to work. 

 The most searing memory I have of my dad wasn't this macho man working long hours and sitting around the dinner table, but it was when he broke down crying upon learning the news that his brother Roger died on the operating table after undergoing open heart surgery. The memory I had as a child was all four of us comforting this very broken man crying like a baby upon learning that the last remaining person of his immediate family had died.  Through this one instance, he taught me that it was OK for men to cry.

I believe so much brokenness in the world we live in can be attributed to stuffing our emotions deep into our inner vaults thinking those emotions will never rear their ugly heads, and things will go on like they did before things were broken- this is a lie.

So many people are using drugs and consuming alcohol, in my opinion, to attempt to erase the inner pain in their lives.  Instead of leaning into their emotions and crying like my dad did upon learning the news of his brothers death, they are turning to substance abuse as if that were the magic formula for coping with pain.  Substance abuse leads to other problems like losing one's job, developing relational problems with their family to committing crimes of passion against the very people we supposedly love. 

As I write this, we learn of a family of 3 in Wisconsin killed in a murder-suicide inside their rambler home while people in their community are asking why did this happen?  

When men and woman are taught to bury their emotions through working long hours, pain will soon follow.  If we are not attending a Church to develop your relationship with Jesus Christ, then we're likely grabbing a hold of the thing that we think will help us with our pain- substance abuse, illicit affairs, or working longer hours.

The shortest verse, and my favorite verse, is the one from John 11:35 'Jesus wept'. Jesus responded this way after learning that his friend Lazarus had died.  Jesus taught us that it's OK for men to cry  whenever brokenness enters our lives.  

When we give ourselves permission to cry, we may finally break the cycle of addiction and build stronger relationships with those we love.

To my dad, thank you for showing me the human side of you when you cried upon learning the news of your brothers death.  You taught me that my emotions hold the key to my brokenness.

A story about the importance of Faith and never quitting no matter what happens to us in life.

Isaiah 28:16Therefore thus says the Lord GOD, "Behold, I am laying in Zion a stone, a tested stone, A costly cornerstone for the foundation, firmly placed. He who believes in it will not be disturbed.

In the heart of the south, Indiana to be exact lived a family who made their living as farmers. John and Esther Hartland were the present caretakers of their family’s farm, a tradition which dates back to 1810. Their farm was set on land rich in minerals, suitable for growing soybeans, wheat, and corn. John worked hard at tilling the field and planting the crops each season and then watching their crops grow knowing they were doing their part to feed the world.

What most people didn’t know about the Hartland’s was the tragedy their family faced 20 years ago when little Danny Heartland, just 5 at the time, ran toward John’s tractor when he disappeared when to John’s horror his youngest son laid lifeless on the field behind the tractor.

 John immediately stopped the tractor, climbed down, and ran to his son, but instantly he knew that his youngest child was dead. It seemed just last week when his parents took a very excited but scared Danny to his first day of Kindergarten.and when Danny died the way he did, his father began having nightmares and flashbacks of what might have been different if he only saw it coming.  

The constant wrestling of his thoughts, for a while, made him too incapacitated to do much farming; fortunately, the farming community rallied behind John and helped him keep up with those never-ending farm chores.  When her son Danny died, Esther cried out to God, often times sending John out to buy some additional boxes of tissues whenever she ran out. 

When their youngest child died,  the community struggled what to call this type of loss.  When the Hartland’s  next door neighbor lost his wife, they called him a widower.  When the Hartland’s other neighbor lost her husband they called her a widow, but there was no name to attached to a family who lost a child.  It seemed incompressible for a family to bury a child; after all,  children are supposed to bury their parents, right? 

Despite the conflicting emotions all the Hartley’s were experiencing during this time, they kept on going to church in their little town of Aberdeen, Indiana. Oh, there were lots of mornings when a bad night of  ‘what if’s ‘ made them tired,  but as John told one of his son’s, “ if we stayed home from church because we’re not feeling well, we will likely not get the encouraging word we just might need for today.”

They kept right on going, no matter how they felt from Sunday to Sunday, always clinging onto the promises of God and the good blessings they experienced in the past.  John remembers reading this in the book of Job where this man who had everything lost it all, but despite the horrific tragedy Job encountered he never blamed God.  He was determined, as a loving father and husband to Esther, to work through this tragic loss- and it wasn’t going to be with booze that he sees so many people in his era using to erase their pain. 

John knew that his family needed a dad who didn’t throw in the towel when bad things happen.  He needed to leave a legacy to his children that Jesus is the firm foundation, no matter what happens to them in life.  Losing a child wasn’t an easy road to travel. John knew that.  But each morning he got up to read his bible and journal his wrenching thoughts, John saw the hope that was in those pages. 

Many years later, the son who asked if he could stay home because he didn’t feel like going to church, came over and told his dad that was a pivotal moment in his life because he was angry at God that God would just let his younger brother die.  His son paused before adding, ‘because I saw that my dad wasn’t  quitting, I’m not going to quit.’  Today, his son continues to attend a church nearby in Indianapolis where he works.

 

The moral of the story? God sent his son, Jesus, to die on the cross so you can experience forgiveness of your sins and the refreshing aroma of Jesus walking at your side all the days of your life no matter what happens to you.

Good things do come to those who wait and why we must not rush our recovery from our pain

Psalm 25:4-5
Make me to know your ways, O Lord; teach me your paths. Lead me in your truth and teach me, for you are the God of my salvation; for you, I wait all the day long.

Oh, it is hard to wait on God to help us heal from our pain. We have very little impulse control. We want God to heal us instantly from hurts of our losses. Yet, if there is anything I know about grief and loss, hope does come to those who put their trust in the Lord and wait.   

I had this beautiful image that I was on the north shore of Lake Superior looking at the famous lighthouse upon the rock. To those standing on the shore and you see this rotating ball of light reflecting on the surface of the lake, it is only that- a beautiful ray of light in the thick of darkness.  

However,  if are the captain of a huge boat trying to find your way on a stormy sea amidst huge waves threatening to capsize you, that lighthouse becomes your hope that will bring you to a safe harbor.

What if there weren't any lighthouses along the shore. What if those on shore just assume all the struggling boats will reach safety and saved themselves the time to build and man those lighthouses?

Many more lives would be lost because those caught in those late seasons storms would be unable to find their hope.

Hope, is one of the single most attributes of our God.  He uses broken people who have waited as His lighthouses. 

 I hear all the time people say to me, "I don't need that 12 step program because I can do it alone," or " I don't need help recovering from the loss of my loved one because I can do it on my own."  When we refuse help that is readily available, we become like those ships on Superior trying to find their way to safety without those lighthouses. Some of them will find ways of coping with their pain through substance abuse. Some will die from their addictions.

For you to become a lighthouse to other hurting people, you must wait, trust and lean on our Lord.  You must embrace every emotion you feel from your loss and ask God to help you. 

 Grief is often described like the waves of the ocean. Some will come like a massive wall toward you, while others will come more gently. When they do, it's best to wait for the water to wash over you until it passes. Our emotions work the same way.  We must not deny those emotions or toss them in a back room vault by working too many hours or having a good time with our drinking buddies,but we must be ready for them, with a box of tissues, embracing every painful moment.  The book of Psalms is a perfect example embracing pain and crying out to God.  

We are reminded in through this verse that you are not alone in your suffering: 1 Peter 5:9-10 Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world. And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace,who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.

If you wait upon the Lord with your pain, good things will come just as the promises of God's word reveal.  

God will use you as a lighthouse to others suffering the pain of loss.  You will become a beacon of hope to point them toward God's harbor of safety. 

Good things do come to those who wait.

The danger of our anger addiction and what it does to our bodies

to open their eyes and turn them from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan to God, so that they may receive forgiveness of sins and a place among those who are sanctified by faith in me.’ Acts 26:18

As I was preparing for facilitating tonight's session of Grief Share on the topic of Guilt and Anger, I began reflecting on the health of people worldwide.  What I see is a widespread of anger, guilt, and a lack of forgiveness.

If we understand and accept the reality that grief and loss happen to all of us then we must understand when there is a loss there will be anger and lots of toxic emotions from those losses- with many of those toxic emotions remaining embedded in whole family systems for decades.  Amazing how something your ancestor did can impact the entire family tree, but it does.

Since the advent of cable television and the invention of 24 hours 7 days a week news, many of us are become addicted to the images of tragedy much like some becomes addicted to Cocaine.  We need that daily fix to satisfy our anger- whether it is hearing what Steve Bannon, Bill O'Reilly or any media for that matter has to say.  Our anger begins to fester with each angry word out of the mouth of those whose income thrives when they can make you angry.   Somehow, our world needs a method of coping with all that anger, and it seems that the way people process their emotional anger is through alcohol and drugs. 

Somehow, we tell ourselves we have to numb those painful emotions- so we strike up a relationship with a drug dealer, or we find the nearest liquor store for that gin and tonic to help us feel better when the pain becomes so great that it causes those deep nightmares and all those flashbacks the keep us up every night.  

When we lose a loved one, we dwell on the cause and try to find someone to blame to our loss. For some of us, this may include spending years trying to find an attorney to bring a medical malpractice against the doctor we deem responsible for their death. 

While it may seem to be a good thing to want to find out the cause their death,  the danger is our grief recovery stops which cause our anger to grow. As we become so focused on finding the culprit, our anger continues to grow affecting our organs underneath the skin's surface. When you combine the effects of our anger with our cultures most acceptable method of coping with pain, drugs, and alcohol, it literally triples the impact damage it does to our bodies.  

At the extreme,  we blame God for all of this anger in our bodies. We reject God by walking away from the one true healing source we have. We stop going to church because after all, 'if God is so good then he wouldn't have allowed my loved one to suffer like this.  If God is so good, I wouldn't hurt so much! If God is so good, my loved one wouldn't have died!

I began reflecting on the decision our family made early on after our daughter's passing-  no matter how we felt from Sunday to Sunday, we were always going to worship our Lord Jesus Christ. 

No matter how much we hurt inside, we were going to place one foot in front of the other and attend Church.  Invariably,  there would be true 'God' moments where people came alongside us to encourage us with a word from scripture or a dream they had that helped us heal. 

Our faith in God can truly heal us from our pain. Our faith can make us stronger and keep us from the dangerous effects of alcohol and drugs.  As you reflect on your pain, reflect also how much God truly loved you when more than 2000 years ago He sent his son Jesus to die on the cross for you, just so you might have an easier time to draw near to him when bad things happen to you. 

Trust God like I did in 2007 and I can assure you that in time, at a timetable that is right for you, God will help you heal from the guilt and anger of your loss. On another time, I will share the healing that took place after I wrote my letter of forgiveness to our daughter's doctor and the time we shared grief journeys in a beautiful meeting with him. God truly knows the bigger picture and He will help you recover from your pain.

I Am New

Romans 15:13New International Version (NIV)13 May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

It's interesting that since 2001 when America was attacked, a record-setting percentage of Americans have been diagnosed with Major Depression and Anxiety.  I believe at the very heart of the problem is the insidious effects of unresolved trauma in the lives of people. Sadly, in the American culture, our tendency when bad things happen to us is to bury the pain down deep and not talk about it.  

I remember as a child listening to my mom tell me that she heard some bad news today, but she can't tell me about it.  She never did tell me. Coincidentally, she developed a heart condition that eventually lead to a serious life-altering stroke. Several years later she passed. 

I believe that nothing positive ever comes when we bury our pain. For many people, if we're not processing our inner hurts appropriately by seeking trusted listeners, then we're medicating it with alcohol, drugs, or both.  It doesn't make sense to me when we're feeling bad about something to consume something that is considered a depressant, but that is exactly what people are doing. Is it any wonder why the end result is the magnification of their pain and feeling a whole lot worse than they did before they consumed that stiff Vodka gimlet?  Is it also any wonder why it's easier to buy a bottle of alcohol in our alcohol consumed society than it is to seek mental health treatment for those unresolved emotions?

The good news is when pain enters our lives, we're not alone.  All of us will be processing grief and loss issues at some point in our lives. The good news is that Jesus Christ wants to walk with you on this journey. Just knowing this fact should make it more comfortable to seek those in your friend circle to help you share your pain.  

For those who are struggling with the problems with alcohol and drug addiction, Minnesota Adult and Teen Challenge is there for you. For more information on how this highly successful program can help you, go to this link: https://www.mntc.org/

I have learned in my life that Jesus Christ wants to walk with you on your life's journey. He is knocking on your door. Are you listening and will you let him in? The choice is yours.

On a 6 hour trip to visit our mother-in-law, God taught me that he will help us adapt to life changes.

11 The Spirit of God, who raised Jesus from the dead, lives in you. And just as God raised Christ Jesus from the dead, he will give life to your mortal bodies by this same  Spirit living within you.Romans 8:11

As I sit at this kitchen table in the home of Linda's mom, I was reflecting on all of the years of traveling there and the memories, some good, some not so good. Over the course of those 20 something years, we've celebrated birthdays, the adoption of children, and we've mourned the loss of a child. 

When our kids were younger, they often enjoyed going to the playground behind this house.  As a dad, I enjoyed those moments of pushing my kids on the swing, watching my son as he did the hair rising hang upside down from the monkey bars while my daughter played it safer close to the ground.

 We've experienced the Warren parade, the Marshall county fair, high school reunions and simply bringing our kids to see their grandparents.   I would often enjoy getting a haircut from the only barber in town while, afterward, grabbing a cup of coffee at the 'W' coffee shop with its free wi-fi. There were the memories of Linda shopping with her mom and finding that cute outfit or accessory.

As we drove 6 hours of straight nighttime driving with harsh oncoming headlights, my wife and I were anticipating a variety of mixed emotions as we traveled to Warren. 

 Just two weeks prior, her brother made the emotional decision that it was time to move their mom into an assistant living apartment. As I write this blog post, Linda and I are staying at her home,  I admit this change has been hard on everyone who knew this now 91-year-old woman who achieved her strong body through years of good living on a farm in western North Dakota.

In many ways, we wish our parents would remain just the way we remember them as kids- ageless, full of life and energy.  To see them age through time while watching their strength dissipate and their once independent nature require more assistance is emotionally difficult to watch. Oh, how it would be nice to occasionally press the pause button to let the best of their age stay in place.

I have to admit when I saw her new assisted living apartment, all I could say was 'wow', especially when I learned how well she was adapting to this change. One staff person said Marlys sat at the same table in the dining room and was often the one who made everyone feel welcomed and accepted.  My 'wow' became 'wow, wow Wow' when I saw the layout of her room.  I knew the right decision was made for her. After all, 'mom' grew up in a small town and was at her best remaining in a small town, even it meant having to travel 6 hours to see her.

As I reflect, I'm reminded we have an awesome God, the creator of this universe and the life within, who loves our family members more than we do.  While sibling rivalries occasionally impact our ability to respond to each other, God is able to see the big picture and help us care for each other.  As a believer in Christ, life is always an adventure filled withGod stories that keep us living a spirit-filled life.

 I am reminded of these words from Romans 8:11 which ought to encourage each of us in life: 'The Spirit of God, who raised Jesus from the dead, lives in you. And just as God raised Christ Jesus from the dead, he will give life to your mortal bodies by this same Spirit living within you. 

This is a reminder to me that we need not worry about the things in this life, not when we have Jesus Christ to give all of our worries to.

While we may miss the way things once were, our God will help us adapt to life's changes that we have an unbearable time of accepting. 

The world teaches us to seek revenge when bad things happen, but Jesus teaches us to forgive because our Redeemer lives

Job 19-20English Standard Version (ESV)Job Replies: My Redeemer Lives

When I'm hurting, I remember that my Redeemer lives.  When my soul aches for a loss of a loved one, I remember my Redeemer lives. When life has me down and I'm discouraged, the gentle voice within reminds me my Redeemer lives.  When I encounter those occasional moments of discouragement, I remind myself my Redeemer lives. As I sit in the doctors waiting room waiting for the news of a lab result while anxiously biting my nails, the voice within reminds me that my Redeemer lives.

When I worry about the bills and how I will ever pay them, I remind myself my Redeemer lives. When my depression sets in as the days get shorter, I look to my Redeemer who lives. When I look at pictures of my now grown children and worry for them, I remind myself that their Redeemer lives.

No matter what life dishes out at you, no matter what calamity comes your way, or what diagnosis you might be given, remember your Redeemer lives!  Our Lord went to the Cross so that He could draw close to us and let you know that your Redeemer lives.

Our God is truly an awesome God because He lives!

Some thoughts on the whys of our grief and the corresponding pain that all of us feel at the time of our loss.

Why is my pain perpetual, and my wound incurable, which refuseth to be healed? wilt thou be altogether unto me as a liar, and as waters that fail? Jeremiah 15:18

As I prepared for the next session of facilitating Grief Share, I watched the next DVD episode attempting to help us process the 'Why's' of our grief, something that an overwhelming percentage of people do after their loved one dies.  You know those heart aching questions:

"Why did my loved one have to die in that car accident?"

Why did God have to take her when there were so many other evil people in this world he could have taken?

Why did he have to die from cancer?

Why couldn't you stop her from dying?

Why do I have to hurt so much?

For some whose faith may be on sinking sand, those questions and the way we process them could be the deciding factor whether we lose our faith and walk away from God, or grow closer to Him in our suffering. C.S. Lewis sums it up well with these quotes from 'A Grief observed':

“The death of a beloved is an amputation.” 

― C.S. Lewis, A Grief Observed

“Her absence is like the sky, spread over everything.” 

― C.S. Lewis, A Grief Observed

Talk to me about the truth of religion and I'll listen gladly. Talk to me about the duty of religion and I'll listen submissively. But don't come talking to me about the consolations of religion or I shall suspect that you don't understand.” 

― C.S. Lewis, A Grief Observed

Feelings, and feelings, and feelings. Let me try thinking instead.” 

― C.S. Lewis, A Grief Observed

“Grief ... gives life a permanently provisional feeling. It doesn't seem worth starting anything. I can't settle down. I yawn, I fidget, I smoke too much. Up till this I always had too little time. Now there is nothing but time. Almost pure time, empty successiveness.” 

― C.S. Lewis, A Grief Observed

Getting over it so soon? But the words are ambiguous. To say the patient is getting over it after an operation for appendicitis is one thing; after he’s had his leg off is quite another. After that operation either the wounded stump heals or the man dies. If it heals, the fierce, continuous pain will stop. Presently he’ll get back his strength and be able to stump about on his wooden leg. He has ‘got over it.’ But he will probably have recurrent pains in the stump all his life, and perhaps pretty bad ones, and he will always be a one-legged man. There will be hardly any moment when he forgets it. Bathing, dressing, sitting down and getting up again, even lying in bed, will all be different. His whole way of life will be changed. All sorts of pleasures and activities that he once took for granted will have to be simply written off. Duties too. At present, I am learning to get about on crutches. Perhaps I shall presently be given a wooden leg. But I shall never be a biped again.” 

― C.S. Lewis, A Grief Observed

As C.S. Lewis illustrates from those quotes, grief isn't something we rush through by simply having all of our questions answered. People are surprised after receiving the autopsy results of their loved one why it still hurts- as though the simple matter of getting answers would bring an end to their suffering. Yet, we are reminded of our grief each time we are faced with those cascading emotions of our loss. Like the waves of an ocean, we must embrace each one separately until it passes. 

Just as in the days of Job, there are religious people who believe that if we do right by God, God will do right by us, or simply you must be suffering because you didn't pray enough, study God's word enough because after all, if you had your loved one wouldn't have died. This is no more accurate as the flat earth people saying the earth is flat! 

While it is good to have answers to some of the why questions, it is important to allow yourself to work through the feelings of your loss, however long it takes you- remember there is no set timeline with how long it will take to recover from your grief. 

While doing so, remember to draw closer to God by reading His word and from time to time lamenting or 'complaining' to God those feelings that seem to keep you awake at night. Remember that our God is big enough to handle our feelings. Lastly, do as many of us do in our pain and place one foot in front of the other and keep honoring God with your presence in Church every Sabbath day! This by itself will prevent you from venturing down the rocky road of alcohol and drugs to medicate your pain!

Finally, remember that God understands fully what you're experiencing because He voluntarily gave up his son Jesus so that all may come to Him.

In the face of any tragedy, Jesus Christ continues to be my foundation!

11 Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. Hebrews 11:1

The day of salvation was the day I received a faith that stood the test of time. Just like the ancients mentioned in Hebrews 11, the Lord Jesus gave me a faith that was firm and unshakeable. I was on solid ground, not sinkable sand. 

As most of us know from reading the current events, life is unpredictable and at times death can become overwhelming- leaving its survivors in a cloud of unsurmountable pain

Our response to such pain ought not to be to remove ourselves from fellowship with God but to move closer toward God. It often isn't until we experience the loss of someone close to us that we see the relevance of our Faith.

 In Hebrews 11:7 we read about how Noah, by faith, built an ark to protect his family when God warned him that he was condemning the world for the evil of the time. Can you imagine the untold ridicule Noah took listening to the voice of God and building the ark on dry ground? Yet, Noah obeyed and when the winds and the rain came people on the outside wanting to get in realized the serious error of their ridicule.

In Hebrews 11: 29, the Jewish people passed through the Red sea whereas when the Egyptians tried to do the same they drowned.

Finally, in Hebrews 11:39 I read these words, "These were all commended for their faith, yet none of them received what had been promised since God had planned something better for us so that only together with us would they be made perfect.

In Hebrews 12 or what I like to refer to as the mighty crescendo of faith, I read this words-"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, 2 fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him, he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3 Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart."


In gratitude of  His love for us, our response should be to put one foot in front of the other while trusting God that He knows what to do with our pain while clinging to the faith that has stood the test of time.

Jesus is indeed our firm foundation!

There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way of death- some early thoughts of a 7-year-old of my grandmothers death

There is a way that seems right to a man,But its end is the way of death. Proverbs 14:12

After enjoying a very good meal with a friend we haven't seen awhile, we drove back home from her house in Big Lake, Minnesota. We took the usual highway 10 back home.

As we approach Anoka, Minnesota I commented to my wife whenever I saw the Anoka sign, as a child, I was reminded we were almost home from our long drive from Ronneby, Minnesota where our grandparents lived. 

As I drove, I remembered the last time our family saw Grandmother Celeste Underdahl alive as she rested at the Milaca hospital. My memory was how my dad drove my mom, my sister and I up to see her. There was no mentioned that her life's  end was near. I remember as a 7-year-old walking into her hospital room seeing this loving grandmother with this gentle grace of a smile who was so glad to see us. When it came time to say goodbye, I didn't think it would be the final goodbye, but simply a see you later goodbye.

We gathered back into the car for our ride home. I remember how eerily quiet it was driving home in the darkened highway 10 road without any conversation, but the occasional soft tears of sadness from my mom. I hadn't connected the dots until later at home when my parents received the news that our grandmother passed away. As a 7-year-old, death was a foreign word to me, but I knew from watching my mom, that this death brought emotional tears of lasting sadness. 

As I've experienced life in so many ways through the years and the meaning of death sank in, I too began to experience those painful remembrances of a life no longer with me. I remember reading somewhere the definition of grief as a reflection of the unique love relationship we have with the one who died and understanding fully why it really hurts us when we experience grief.

Death is ultimately the destination of all human's. We are reminded in 2 Corinthians 4:16 of these words, "Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day," as a reminder that as we go through life our bodies will continue breaking down. Yet, Christ is renewing us inwardly day after day. 

I remember clearly the day I accepted Jesus Christ in my life for it was the day I was declared to belong to the Lord. Proverbs remind us that there is a way that may seem right to a man, but its end is the way of death. 

Today, we are seeing an increasing number of people turning to the new age movement because it seems right to them. Yet, Jesus Christ reminds us of this verse in John, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me."

I know from reading the Bible that Jesus wants no one to perish from this life by taking the wrong path. He reminds us that by opening up the door to our hearts and inviting Jesus into our lives that we can have the assurance that if we have a fatal accident or come down with a fatal diagnosis that we would see heaven and spend eternity with all the other saints and our Lord Jesus.

You can know absolutely for certain of experiencing eternal life when death has overwhelmed you with this simple prayer:

Lord Jesus Christ, I know I am a sinner and do not deserve eternal life.

But, I believe You died and rose from the grave to purchase a place in heaven for me.

Lord Jesus, come into my life; take control of my life; forgive my sins and save me.

I repent of my sins and now place my trust in you for my salvation.

I accept the free gift of eternal life.

If you said this prayer,  we are reminded of the assurance of eternal life with this verse from, "1 John 5:11-13 'And this is the testimony: God has given us eternal life, and this life is in his Son. The one who has the Son has this eternal life; the one who does not have the Son of God does not have this eternal life. I have written these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God so that you may know that you have eternal life.

We may always have the inner ache whenever we lose someone special to us, but Jesus Christ will make it easier to suffer the pain of your loss by walking with you on your journey through pain for however long it takes to go through it.

Jesus, my redeemer and mighty King and comforter when storms and natural disasters head our way.

The Lord lives! Blessed be my Rock! Let the God of my salvation be exalted. Psalm 18:46

My heart is breaking for the people in northern California, a beautiful land filled with quaint towns with vineyards and wine tasting tours, a destination for so many wanting to escape the winter cold, now must complete the heartbreaking task of recovering those that never made it out of these fires alive. 

There are many theories abound about how those fires started. Some are saying the fires started when the overhead power lines came in contact with the parched trees and the blowing debris.  After all, California was in the midst of a drought when combined with the perfect storm of wind patterns set the condition for this to happen. 

They say these fires were ignited in the middle of the night after everyone had turned in for the night. Many had little chance of escaping when the emergency response system failed to warn them of approaching danger, while others were barely able to escape with the clothes on their back.  As we see the visible reminders of this fire, it is easy to see the hopelessness and the pain in the faces of its survivors as they wait for word on their loved ones. 

I remember seeing the same hopelessness on the faces of yesterday disasters from Columbine, SandyHook, all of the Hurricanes, and other natural disasters.

When the SS Titanic was sinking in the cold Atlantic waters, there were faces of hopelessness on those who knew it was just a moment before their last breath would be taken.

Then, I remember the day of my own salvation, the day I opened the door of my hart and received Jesus Christ to come into my life. It was an early spring 1974 at the Minnetonka Coffeehouse when the testimonies I heard from others spoke to my hearts condition and I said yes to my Savior Jesus. 

Jesus had become the Rock of my Salvation,

unstoppable,

unchangeable,

in the face of all calamities, He lives!

No matter what afflictions we may encounter,

Jesus lives!

He is my Rock of my salvation.

Sadly, Humanism teaches us that God is dead and that we're nothing but a bunch of protoplasms without a soul, that we're here to enjoy constant never-ending pleasure, but nothing more. 

 Humanism has made us into a depraved people who stay away from God.

Instead,  we search for those casinos, nightclubs, and those amusement places and anything else that gives us pleasure.  But it really isn't until disasters come and wipe out everything we have that despair sets in and they wonder 'is it quite possible there really is a God?' 

Then, many remember those fleeting conversations they had with neighbors and co-workers who were Christians and they wonder, ' could it be true?' Could I be the product of a Master designer, God himself? Could this Jesus be the gift God sent to give us a purpose in a world where Humanism reigns?

Throughout the annals of time, the Bible has revealed the secrets of God's love for us.  Over again, the Bible reveals how God helped those who were suffering. Just about every calamity can be found in the Bible. It is the source of comfort to anyone who has ever lost a loved one. 

It was recited by the young men who were about to join the fighting on the beaches of Normandy.

It was recited by the Jewish people as they waited for the Lord to tell them to go into the promised land.

It was recited by the Holocaust survivors as a source of comfort.

It was recited by people suffering in our persecuted churches.

It was recited by the Christians in the North Korea underground churches. 

Our response, if we haven't done so ought to be to invite this Jesus into our hearts and let this day be your day of Salvation!

Jesus is indeed our hope and Salvation.

The story behind the hymn, What a Friend We Have in Jesus..flv

The story behind the hymn 'what a friend we have in Jesus'

In another era, there lived a man in Ireland who had fallen in love with the girl of his dreams. Just moments before they were to connect to marry the next day, she was tossed from her horse and drowned just moments he would happen to see her lifeless body in the stream when he was filled with unspeakable grief.

 Not long after, Joseph decided to travel to Ontario to begin a new life where he became a man known for good deeds. Some wanted to hire him to perform chores for them, but Joseph refused to accept money- instead, performing those deeds for those in need.  As time went on, he met a girl and once again fell in love with her and they were to be married until tragedy struck a 2nd time when she came down with pneumonia.

Joseph wrote a poem back home that spoke of his unimaginable grief and his reliance on the Lord our God to get through the pain.

This poem became known as the famous hymn, 'What a friend we have in Jesus.' 

One of the major points that GriefShare tries to get across, is the importance of drawing close to God in the face of tragedy and loss of our lives.

 Just as God inspired Joseph to write this poem which later became a hymn that is sung in churches across the world, God will take the pain in your own lives and make it into something beautiful that helps others. 

So when pain enters our lives, that isn't the time to run from God. It isn't the time to use alcohol or drugs to sedate that pain. No, it is a time for us to run to God to lean on him and trust that He knows what to do with our pain. For in due time, your life will become a beautiful tapestry that will inspire others to turn to God.

The next time I sing this song, I will sing it with more passion in my voice because I know the story behind the song.

Every single day we are seeing more things being automated and as we do we're feeling more isolated, but the good news is that God has always been a personal God reaching his hand through Jesus Christ to touch hurting people

15 For we are the aroma of Christ to God among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing, 16 to one a fragrance from death to death, to the other a fragrance from life to life. Who is sufficient for these things? 17 For we are not, like so many, peddlers of God's word, but as men of sincerity, as commissioned by God, in the sight of God we speak in Christ.2 Corinthians 2:15-17

Business is all about efficiency. The more efficient a business can become, the more it can be profitable. Two recent examples of this are the decision by management to completely automate Shake Shacks to a complete order at the Kiosk system which requires the use of a credit card, eliminating the need for the cashier. The other is the innovative use of computer-controlled life preservers that are controlled by a handheld device much like one would use playing video games.

Two very ingenious uses that save money and could have the potential of saving lives. As I hear about these automatic systems being implemented, I cannot help but sense how this is making people feel more isolated, much lonelier, and more detached from society at large.

There is something to be said of the human touch.  I learned the Las Vegas shooter was a huge video poker player which from my perspective involves sitting on a stool watching the highly interactive screen and pushing buttons. I've learned that most people play these games in large casino rooms with little access to outdoor light, a move that prevents the brain from telling you that it's  time to move on.  

Very little human interaction is required with the exception of 'fake friends' bringing over beverages and food to keep you from leaving your stool.

Our God operates with a personal touch when over 2000 years ago He sent his son Jesus to dwell among us while teaching us how much He loves us. 

 God's word is filled with people crying out to God in their time of trouble.When we read the Psalms, we hear David's cries to the Lord in these words from Chapter 142: 3-5:

When my spirit grows faint within me,

it is you who watch over my way.

In the path where I walk

people have hidden a snare for me.

4 Look and see, there is no one at my right hand;

no one is concerned for me.

I have no refuge;

no one cares for my life.

5 I cry to you, Lord;

I say, “You are my refuge,

my portion in the land of the living.”

 There are many of us who feel just as David felt 'people have hidden a snare for us' 

 Our days involve interacting with some digital device to do everything from ordering groceries to checking in with our health provider. Shopping continues, for me, to be a socially interactive experience- I enjoy acknowledging peoples existence whenever I go into the marketplace from the routine 'hello' to 'how's your day going?'

We are literally starving ourselves of human interaction.

But God continues to operate on the human touch each time we interact with other Christian believer's, and through the indwelling holy spirit, he promises to give us when we personally open up the door to our heart and let Him in. We can be assured through our living Savior that God will hear our anguished cries.

 As more and more people come to the living Savior,  the more impact God will have on the world we live in.

Just think how those around you will be impacted as you learn to take the pain and suffering in your life and share your story how Christ personally helped you recover?  

The aroma of your personal relationship with Jesus will bound to influence those who are also suffering to want this same living Savior in their own lives. 

Your story is like a remote-controlled drone life preserver being sent out to save as many drowning souls who need Christ in their lives.

A simple trip to the recycling center and a conversation with an old former neighbor who shared their memories of Maria.

Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most Highwill rest in the shadow of the Almighty.[a]2 I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress,my God, in whom I trust.” Psalm 91: 1-2

Saturday was a great day for my wife and me because my son came home to help replace the driver's side mirror of my wife's car-the final step after i sanded and painted the part to the same color of the rest of her car. I enjoyed having some quality father/son time watching him get really good at repairing cars.  My wife is also relieved she no longer has to drive an amputated car she affectionately named 'Stubby'. My son and I still have the bumper to put on, but we will wait for the following Sunday to complete that task.  I imagine he and I will study bumper replacement videos on Youtube like the coaching staff reviews film of the upcoming opponent.

When lunch was ready, my son, wife and I enjoyed conversation while enjoying homemade soft shell tacos.  

Once lunch was done, I walked through the garage admiring the work of Linda's car while pulling the recycling container to our van.  This has become part of my Saturday routine.

I drove my van into the City recycling center which is literally just blocks from our home. 

After emptying the container, I ran into an old neighbor that once occupied the home down the street from us they occupied with their two young children. As we talked about our jobs and what each of our kids was doing, Gary mentioned how they think of 'Maria' every day.  My warm memory was walking Maria across the street to play with his little girl.  As her dad, I often did that whenever she wanted to walk over to play with a neighbor child. 

When she died, I felt as though I had been robbed of that experience. While Gary and his wife continue to enjoy their children my memories of Maria stop at age 10. As I was talking with him, I found myself comforting him while he remanence the memories of 'Maria'. 

 He described the stories of other families he knew who tragically lost a child.  He remembers someone who witnessed his son collapsing on the soccer field when this person, who taught at the school, ran into the building to retrieve the defibrillator and literally bought his son back to life. Little did he realize, the kid he was referring to was the son of the man who ran into that building, a friend who worked in the same school my wife worked at so many years. 

A tear came to my eye thinking and wondering why I couldn't have had that story instead of the one where 'they did everything they could, but couldn't bring her back to life.'

Heavy sigh.......

I did share with Gary the blog and website I started to help other bereaved parents navigate the difficult journey of losing a child.  He mentally noted the site for future reference later.

At the end of our conversation, we shook hands and went our separate ways to continue completing the routine tasks of Saturday.

As I reflected on this journey, I also reflected on my relationship with Jesus Christ, the one firm foundation that refuses to let me fail, even in the face of tragedy.

For anyone who knows of a grieving family, here is the website that God inspired me to put together:

www.soaringonwingsofeagles.org