Mark 6:34 When he went ashore he saw a great crowd, and he had compassion on them, because they were like sheep without a shepherd. And he began to teach them many things.

It was late at night.  The traffic was unusually slow.  As I inched along on the interstate, a gentle rain was hitting the windshield. My nearly worn out wiper blades were just barely keeping up. It was late and I simply wanted to be home in bed. I had just finished working second shift. I was tired. I eventually saw what was holding up the traffic. There were emergency vehicles up ahead- ten of them to be exact. As I got closer, I could see a few cars pointed in opposite direction from the direction they intended to go, with broken head light glass and shattered bumper parts scattered on the road way. 

There were many emergency medical responders at the scene.  Some of them, I could see, were working frantically on the car's occupants, giving them chest compressions trying, I could see, to bring them back to life. I tried to avert my eyes from the blood caked faces of the victims and keep my eye on the road ahead, less I wanted to cause the next collision. 

I hate seeing accidents. When I was a child, I remember how my mom would divert attention from the scene by playing silly games or telling me a story.  Tonight, there were no silly games, no story, but real life around me. On a deeper level, these scenes affect me on an emotional level as images of this scene become seared into the brain, waiting for future nights to reemerge at a time I desperately needed to sleep. These scenes of mayhem have a way of tenderizing me. 

My mind drifted back 2000 years ago where I was standing on the ground steering up at the now vacant cross where Jesus Christ had been nailed to. I watched in horror as the Roman soldiers used nails to pound the hands and feet of Jesus to the cross. I remembered the grimaces of pain uttered occasionally from Jesus and from the bystanders around me. 

I remember hearing the woman around me crying as they watched this Jesus who spoke amazing words, prophetic words I might add, who many saw as the Messiah talked about in the Torah by the Jewish leaders. Why those leaders didn't want to believe that Jesus was the Messiah, I'm not sure, but while I watched the final moments of this scene I knew that this Jesus was dead and all I was left with were the horrid memories of this man's torture- images that seared into my mind just as the images of this trail of bent up cars, smashed windshield glass, broken headlights, bodies completely covered in a blanket.  

As I continued to inch along, my mind drifted to a sunrise morning, a beautiful day I might add.  I was sitting on a rock when this woman ran by exclaiming that this Jesus they killed on the cross just days before was missing from the tomb.  I got up from the rock I was sitting and followed her.  I saw that the large boulder that at one point completely closed the tomb entrance was removed to the side.  I watched as men I recognized men who had revered Jesus, men who left their livelihoods to learn and follow this messiah. 

 As they witnessed the empty tomb and saw that this Jesus was gone they left with the saddest look.  They knew that not only was the Messiah dead but now his body was gone.  Some of them, I imagine gave fleeting thoughts about going back to their fishing trade, with only the searing memory of their Lord's torture. 

The traffic was beginning to move again. Instead of 5 Mph, I was moving 10. Progress was being made. As I witnessed this scene, I couldn't help imagining the gruesome task of contacting the next of kin of those who never made it and then imagining the guttural cries on the other end of that phone. Images that, for some, will forever sear in their minds. 

 As I drove faster now, my mind drifted back to yet another scene.  This time I was fishing on the sea of Galilee with Simon Peter, Thomas, the sons of Zebedee and two other disciples I didn't know.  We came up empty handed. Early the next morning I heard this man call to us from the shore.  He asked us if we had caught any fish and we said no. Then he said to cast our net on the right side of the boat and we would catch some.  When we did we were unable to haul in the catch.  

Then Simon Peter cried out "It is the Lord" and before anyone knew what happened, Simon Peter jumped into the water and swam to shore while the rest of us followed in the boat. We enjoyed the fish over a makeshift fire while listening to Jesus share beautiful words about what it means to follow Christ.  No sooner than I passed the final emergency vehicle I was able to resume my normal speed.

As I reflect on life, I'm reminded that life is occasionally hard, with images we just assume forget being seared into our minds.  Realizing that Jesus's resurrection from that horrid cross gives me hope that recovery from those images is possible through this Messiah who overcame death and inspires us through the holy spirit that rest in the hearts of believers who cry out to him.

The pain we go through in this life tenderizes us and makes us more in the image of Christ, useful for God's purpose.

 Embrace your pain and trust God that he knows what he is doing with your pain.