Jesus is knocking on humanities heart. Do you hear him? He desires to come in and help on whatever journey you are on.

“I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee”; Luke 13:5

He is knocking on the door of all humanities hearts. Do you hear the knock? He knocks a little louder in case you didn't hear him the first time.Jesus wants to come into your heart to help make you a better person and help you with establishing a personal relationship with the God of the universe.

He wants to remind you that no longer must you be concern about ritual sacrifices, mandatory prayers, or other man- made religious traditions. Just before Jesus took his final breath on the cross of calvary he lifted his head toward heaven and exclaimed for all mankind, " it is finished."

He did it. He fought the good fight for all mankind and put to death once and for all the religious trappings of man. Jesus says these words to all who decide to open up the door of their hearts," “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me."(John 14:6)When I woke up one morning this week, it was hearing the news of the triple suicide bombing in Istanbul, Turkey. So far this tragedy has claimed 41 lives and 230 injured. Isis is said to be responsible for these horrific murders and crimes against humanity.

My wife and I have a family friend who's parents live in this beautiful country and on a personal level we feel her pain as the ongoing saga of death and destruction unfolds.

Jesus Christ came into the world to save sinners, regardless of orientation, nationality, and political persuasion. Jesus understands the hurting hearts of all people- the emotional pain of abandonment, betrayal, and loss of precious friends through murder and suicide.

We are reminded of this assurance of Salvation with these words from Ephesians 2:8-9 For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works so that no one may boast. Jesus continues to remind us of these words from John 10, "I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand.

If you are hearing that knock, go ahead and turn that door handle of your heart. What do you have to lose, but the possibility of embarking on the most incredible Spiritual journey in life?

My wife shared with me a conversation with my sister when she just received the news that our cousin-in-law Dennis Erickson passed away.

In my Father's house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you?[a] 3 And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also. John 14:2-3

My wife received a phone call from my sister the other day.  In a conversation with Joni my sister learned that Dennis E.Erickson ceased his earthly existence on October12,2015. 

There was something I didn't know until I read his obituary/ The very first sentence were the words, 'Preceded in death by his son Jamie.' 

The mere location of that sentence told me the profound significance of that loss. As a dad, I understand the pain that this father went through in this life because nothing in this life ever prepares you with this form of grief.

That explains his tenderness of heart when Linda and I lost our daughter unexpectedly,  I remember sensing his care and genuine warmth in my occasional phone calls with him. I remember the chance encounters at the Holiday gas station when I would converse with him.I learned something through that encounter. 

 The people God brings into your life following a loss of a loved one will be different from the people you typically hung out as friends.

Dennis was  married to my cousin, Nancy. Dennis was perhaps the kindest person I have ever met. He was a gifted homebuilder who built a successful business building homes in the northern suburbs.  He truly enjoyed helping others, whether it was taking friends fishing or hunting, or helping them get into their first home.

Shortly after finishing graduate school, I got a call from Denny asking me if I was interested in buying a townhome. He had built some of the cutest little quad townhomes in the Circle Pines and Coon Rapids neighborhood. I grabbed the bait  after seeing some 'run down' starter homes and not being real handy, nor wanting to move into something that was akin to a money pit.  I remember meeting Denny after work one evening and following him to this new quad home development on Grouse circle and immediately falling in love with this area. Denny knew everyone in the housing industry from the first time home buyers program to the realtors.  It wasn't long after I moved into my first home that I received the tragic news. Dennis had invited most of his family up to the new cabin he built for a fun weekend of activities when a diving incident in the early evening hours into an unknown depth left him paralyzed from the neck down. 

I imagine that Dennis has been catching up on conversations with his son Jamie shorthly after his heavenly homecoming. I also imagine that Dennis's skills of home building being put to good use by our heavenly father just as the verse from John 14:2-3 reminds us.

Dennis, you are now free from your earthly limitations with a new heavenly body stronger than our earthly ones.  Until we meet again, I have a job to do which is to bring others into God's Kingdom. 

Dennis E. Erickson


Erickson, Dennis E. Age 68, of Plymouth passed away October 12, 2015. Preceded in death by son Jamie, parents Earl and Betty Ann Erickson, niece Tasha, and Nancy Erickson. Survived by daughters Lisa (Curt) Norwood, Mona (Kurt) Owen, Joelle (Jeff) Erickson; son Justin (Angie) Erickson, Kirsten Brunskill and Kari (Jeremy) Johnson and beloved friend Judy Brunskill; sisters Diane (Frank) Wagamon, Cheri (Mark) Fitzgerald, and Cyndi (Dave) Severson; grandchildren Darin, Alexander, Tristin, Taylor, Trinity, Zaidee, Finley, Jayden and Grayson; and many nieces and nephews. Denny enjoyed nature and going on hunting and fishing adventures. He was a hard worker and a well-known home builder. He was a wonderful father, brother, friend and papa, he will be dearly missed. Funeral service Friday 4pm at Abiding Savior Church, 8211 Red Oak Drive, Mounds View. Visitation 1 hour prior to service.

Published on October 17, 2015

My wife shared with me a conversation with my sister when she just received the news that our cousin-in-law Dennis Erickson passed away.

In my Father's house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you?[a] 3 And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also. John 14:2-3

My wife received a phone call from my sister the other day.  Kristi just spoke with her cousin Joni who recently learned that her brother-in-law Dennis passed away. on October12,2015. 

There was something I didn't know until I read his obituary/ The very first sentence were the words, 'Preceded in death by his son Jamie.' 

The mere location of that sentence told me the profound significance of that loss. As a dad, I understand the pain that this father went through in this life because nothing in this life ever prepares you with this form of grief.

That explains his tenderness of heart when Linda and I lost our daughter unexpectedly,  I remember sensing his care and genuine warmth in my occasional phone calls with him. I remember the chance encounters at the Holiday gas station when I would converse with him.I learned something through that encounter. 

 The people God brings into your life following a loss of a loved one will be different from the people you typically hung out as friends.

Dennis had been married to my cousin, Nancy (Freberg) until their marriage ended. Dennis was perhaps the kindest person I have ever met. He was a gifted homebuilder who built a successful business building homes in the northern suburbs.  He truly enjoyed helping others, whether it was taking friends fishing or hunting, or helping them get into their first home.

Shortly after finishing graduate school, I got a call from Denny asking me if I was interested in buying a townhome. He had built some of the cutest little quad townhomes in the Circle Pines and Coon Rapids neighborhood. I grabbed the bait  after seeing some 'run down' starter homes and not being real handy, nor wanting to move into something that was akin to a money pit.  I remember meeting Denny after work one evening and following him to this new quad home development on Grouse circle and immediately falling in love with this area. Denny knew everyone in the housing industry from the first time home buyers program to the realtors.  It wasn't long after I moved into my first home that I received the tragic news. Dennis had invited most of his family up to the new cabin he built for a fun weekend of activities when a diving incident in the early evening hours into an unknown depth left him paralyzed from the neck down. 

I imagine that Dennis has been catching up on conversations with his son Jamie shorthly after his heavenly homecoming. I also imagine that Dennis's skills of home building being put to good use by our heavenly father just as the verse from John 14:2-3 reminds us.

Dennis, you are now free from your earthly limitations with a new heavenly body stronger than our earthly ones.  Until we meet again, I have a job to do which is to bring others into God's Kingdom. 

Dennis E. Erickson


Erickson, Dennis E. Age 68, of Plymouth passed away October 12, 2015. Preceded in death by son Jamie, parents Earl and Betty Ann Erickson, niece Tasha, and Nancy Erickson. Survived by daughters Lisa (Curt) Norwood, Mona (Kurt) Owen, Joelle (Jeff) Erickson; son Justin (Angie) Erickson, Kirsten Brunskill and Kari (Jeremy) Johnson and beloved friend Judy Brunskill; sisters Diane (Frank) Wagamon, Cheri (Mark) Fitzgerald, and Cyndi (Dave) Severson; grandchildren Darin, Alexander, Tristin, Taylor, Trinity, Zaidee, Finley, Jayden and Grayson; and many nieces and nephews. Denny enjoyed nature and going on hunting and fishing adventures. He was a hard worker and a well-known home builder. He was a wonderful father, brother, friend and papa, he will be dearly missed. Funeral service Friday 4pm at Abiding Savior Church, 8211 Red Oak Drive, Mounds View. Visitation 1 hour prior to service.

Published on October 17, 2015

As we begin the first week following the Brexit decision let us embrace the emotional upheavals like we would if we were on a Roller coaster.

12 “Most assuredly, I say to you, he who believes in Me, the works that I do he will do also; and greater works than these he will do, because I go to My Father. 13 And whatever you ask in My name, that I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. 14 If you ask[a] anything in My name, I will do it. John 14:12-14

I am reminded that we live in a topsy-turvy world of  exceptional highs and incredible lows. Our emotions are a true gift from God that essentially differentiates us from the robots that man creates. 

The emotions we experience often do not show up until we experience a loss, an exhilarating sports victory, or when we open up our financial statement following a large one-day drop in  the stock market such as  we saw in the aftermath of the British people voting to be independent from the European Union.

I learned and have always known that the stock market responds to emotions of man. When the market crashed in 1929 million's of people ran to their bank to withdraw what remaining money they had in their account. Many decided to jump to their deaths over the pending doom of the crash. Still, others went into a depression resulting from joblessness. It took the wise words of Franklin Delano Roosevelt to calm the nerves of the masses with government programs to restore this nation. The Roosevelt era of public works administration presented some of the best examples of money well spent. You can find some of these works at this link.http://listosaur.com/history/top-10-public-works-projects-from-the-great-depression/

So where am I going with this?  When we invest in the stock market which most of us do, you have to expect, at times, some market volatility, but you have to put your investment strategy into a proper perspective by thinking long term. Not tomorrow, not next week, but over a period of several years.It is from that perspective you will see steady increases.  So, in a sense, watching the stock market is akin to riding a roller coaster ride, something I do less and less as I mature.  

This coming week we will likely see 'aftershocks' of what happened on Friday, but we will also see our leadership coming forward, much like FDR did, and with well thought out words try to restore the calm of the people by giving them hope. 

 In one sense, there may be a blessing to come out of this experience which is the realization that our security doesn't come from our bank statements, our 401k's or Mutual funds, but our security comes from having a personal relationship with our redeemer, our savior Jesus Christ. He alone is our anchor, our rock when we open our financial statements and see our net worths have declined.

God wants to be your guide through whatever is dished out in life; the death of a loved one, market crashes, or unemployment. Our God will bring people into your lives to help you weather your personal storm, much like the Amercian public was blessed with the well-chosen words of FDR's fireside chats.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b6KSOaaWqb4 

As we begin the week,take several deep breaths and ask God to reveal to you from his word what he wants you to know to get through the coming week.

As a matter of perspective what just happened in the UK isn't the end of the world- my thoughts in yellow

14 What good is it, my brothers, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? Can that faith save him? 15 If a brother or sister is poorly clothed and lacking in daily food, 16 and one of you says to them, “Go in peace, be warmed and filled,” without giving them the things needed for the body, what good[a] is that? 17 So also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead. James 2:14

LONDON — As the bands played on at the Glastonbury music festival in Somerset, England, Lewis Phillips and his friends drowned their sorrows in song and alcohol.


“We’re the ones who’ve got to live with it for a long time, but a group of pensioners has managed to make a decision for us,” Mr. Phillips, 27, said on Friday of Britain’s decision to withdraw from the European Union. He said he was now “terrified” about the country’s economic prospects.

Those are typically the feelings of families experiencing the grief of a loved one. in the days following thier loss --they are terrified--they are filled with fear, anxiety and shock of what just happened to them just as the Brit's were filled with the shock that their very action o voting the way they did would send economic shock waves throughout the world. 

Everywhere you looked today you saw hopelessness, shock, and disbelief in the faces of people. With every 100 point drop in the market, you saw people wondering how bad of a personal hit they took. Some went to look at their financial portfolios, while others chose to avoid looking at their statements.

For those under 25, the desire to remain in the union was especially high: Three-quarters wanted Britain to stay in Europe.

Many young people in Britain have grown up thinking of European integration as a given, not a political experiment that would be rolled back before they could fully take part in it.

They are often more comfortable living in a multicultural society than their elders are, particularly in cities like London and Edinburgh, which are flooded by people from across the Continent to study and work.Many young Britons expressed astonishment, anger or despair that their parents and grandparents would seek to limit the travel, exposure to other cultures and opportunities to work and study abroad that being part of the European Union has afforded them.

I see the same sentiment in our own country. It seems as though the further away from the urban core we live, the more anxious we are of strangers from other places. We see them as invaders that have taken our jobs away, not as a vital part of the workplace for jobs employers cannot fill. Some of our political candidates are playing on the fear of the people and the people are responding with hate filled tirades on facebook, Twitter and political call-in shows.

I am reminded of another time, in the days of our Lord Jesus when the mob of people, many of them were witnesses to his miracles and his messages, demanded that Jesus be crucified. In Luke 23 Pilate found no guilt with this man ( Jesus) but bowed to the wishes of the mob.

“Truly gutted that our grandparents have effectively decided that they hate foreigners more than they love us and our futures,” one young Briton, Dan Boden, wrote on Twitter.

The referendum hinged in part on youth turnout, and the government even tried to lower the voting age for the referendum to 16 from 18.


It failed, but the Remain campaign still pushed to register young voters, with some success: The deadline to register was extended by two days after a voter-registration website crashed because it was overwhelmed by visitors.

I see the same youthful divide occurring in America. Younger people like and see the value of diversity and are more likely to embrace our immigrants while the older generation yearns to maintain the status quo they once saw this nation having in the Ozzie and Harriet-Leave it to Beaver 50's.

Prime Minister David Cameron turned to Tinder, the dating app, and TheLADbible, a website popular among young men, to tout the benefits of staying in the European Union. The opposition Labour Party, which supported remaining in the bloc, also reached out to young voters.


More than one million people between 18 and 34 registered in recent months, the most ever for a British election, according to Bite the Ballot and HOPE Not Hate, which encourages young people to vote. Turnout for the referendum, at around 72 percent, was the highest for any national election in Britain since 1992.


But it was not enough.


“Waking up to the #EURefResults and realizing the older generation have just ruined our future,” one young Briton, Toby Pickard, wrote on Twitter.


Another, Sarah Hartley, wrote that “our economy is in tatters” because “our grandparents cared more about their comfort than our future.”


In Edinburgh, a university city with a strongly pro-European bent, Robert Jack, a 21-year-old student at the University of Glasgow, was reeling from the decision. He worried that his plans to study in Romania on the European Union’s student-exchange program, Erasmus, were in jeopardy.


The vote “is very damaging,” Mr. Jack said, adding that he now welcomed a second referendum on whether Scotland should leave the United Kingdom, because “it’s better being inside the European Union.”


Of course, many young people supported the push to rid themselves of Europe. Ben Kew, 21, said he spent 30 hours at the Leave headquarters, watching the results come in.


“I was surprised; I didn’t think we’d go through with it, but I’m pleased that the establishment has been given a kick,” he said, adding that the vote was a moment when Britons expressed a desire for real change.


But many young voters wondered what would happen to European Union funding for research and sciences. British universities currently receive about 16 percent of their research money and staff members from the European Union.


James Calderbank, a 21-year-old student at Falmouth University in Cornwall, England, wrote in an email: “Since the early hours of this morning my Facebook newsfeed has been filled with my friends’ disappointment that we are leaving the E.U.”


He added: “Our campus was part-funded by the E.U., so things are really not looking good for my university and its source of funds.” Cornwall, as a fairly rural and less-developed part of southwest England, was also a beneficiary of economic aid from Brussels, he noted.


Some high-school students expressed dismay as well. “There is a very clear rift between how us young people feel and how the oldest age groups feel,” Elliot Shirnia, 18, a student at the Marling School in Gloucestershire, England, wrote in an email, adding that as the son of a refugee from Iran he felt the Leave campaign was divisive.


Anxiety about the economy and immigration drove the Leave campaign’s victory. But many young people said they thought the decision would only set back their prospects.


“I’m already part of a generation stuck in rented property unable to buy my own house ,” Hannah Shaw, 25, who works at a National Health Service hospital and lives with her parents, wrote in an email. “The older generation seem so happy with the result, almost smug like it’s some sort of victory completely unaware of the chaos they’ve caused for my generation. I’m dreading what will happen to employment, workers’ rights, the environment, and our economy.”

She added that she had friends from European countries like Slovakia, Poland, Spain and Romania.

“It’s hard to see it affect them and think of the amazing people I’ll never meet after we leave the E.U.,” she said. “The U.K. suddenly feels very small.”

Ms. Shaw blamed the news media for spreading misinformation about European Union membership. “A lot of the older generation rely on newspapers for all their facts and don’t actually do any of their own research, unlike my generation.”

Jenna Ives-Moody, 19, a journalism student at the University of Huddersfield in northern England, wrote in an email that “serious fact-based journalism within the U.K. is not valued by the majority of the English population.”

We've become a nation accustomed to gleaming our information from the internet and from people who 'think' they know what they are talking about, but like a good used car salesman they offer up convincing words of why of what they say should be held up to high esteem.

She said the Leave campaign was driven by “a misplaced ideal of reclaiming former glories within Britain,” which she said was not common among young people “who embrace all aspects of being European.”

Fear was palpable among the young people in London who have thronged the capital from elsewhere in Europe.

Francisco Vicedo, a 22-year-old Spaniard who works at a branch of the fast-food chain Pret a Manger, is studying for a master’s program on organized crime and terrorism atUniversity College London.

“We’ve already sent money to our countries because we know that in the following days the value of pound is going to be down,” he said. “Everyone is sending money already.”

He said he hoped to stay in London, where job opportunities are more plentiful than in Spain, but was unsure of his prospects.

Dara Canavan, 23, who works at a management consultancy, comes from an Irish town just across the border from Northern Ireland, and expressed fear about the possible reimposition of border controls.

“There is a lot of worry about whether free control between Ireland and Northern Ireland will be affected,” said Mr. Canavan.

Mr. Canavan wasn’t sure he would stay in Britain. “I was thinking of going back in the future, but this could speed up the process,” he said.

For whatever it is worth, here is some advice from a dad who lost a daughter and understands the profound impact of fear and anxiety on the psychological mind.


So how should we respond to the latest monetary crisis spreading across our globe? After taking several deep breaths, do what our family did and continue going to church, one step at a time, regardless whether you 'feel like it.'

Linda and I attend a church because of the diversity of the body of believers. There is something incredible that happens when you worshipping in a church filled with people of all colors and all backgrounds. It is what I think heaven will be truly like.

Secondly, I recommend that you make an effort to read the New Testament all the way to the final chapter. Start by reading the words of Jesus in Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John and re-read those four books many times over.

My life was profoundly changed in the spring of 1974 when I did that because it leads me to 'open the door' to my heart for Jesus to walk through it.

The third thing I would recommend you do would be to avoid watching the local televised news because of its ability to sensationalize and heighten the emotions of man. If you must have the daily dose of the news then buy the local newspaper as it is likely to be filled with added analysis of information not typically found in the much shorter televised or social media format.

The fourth thing to do is for everyone to put what just happened into perspective. The UK voted, but it isn't the end of the world. The people have spoken, but now is their time for leadership to gather information to plan a smooth transition that will not lead to chaos. This is the way democracy works.

Fifth, pray for their leadership, pray for OUR leadership, including the current person occupying the White house and then pray for the upcoming November elections and, if the inevitable happens and the opposing party gets in find a way to accept that possibility so you can pray for them. Accept the reality that God isn't partial to any political party.

Finally, remember that you are more than a sum total of your investments, your bank accounts, and your net worth. As you read his word and pray, you will begin to see how much you mean to God and what He had to go through to convince you of his love for you.

You are not a mistake.You are where you need to be at this stage in life

For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them.Ephesians 2:10

Your story begins with the mighty crescendo of voices  when you are born. You are a miracle of God's workmanship. There was no mistake when you came into this world 

Just as God wrote the biographical sketches of people in the bible, your story is about to be written with God's fingertip. Like Adam and Eve, Job, Moses, Aaron, Samual, David,Saul, and countless others, God is about to write your story.

The beginning chapters of your life begin in a whimsical, carefree manner with a behind the scenes chorus of prayers from people when you hurt yourself, become sick, or simply endured the occasional injustices of life.

As you grow,  your  story becomes a page-turning, nail-biting epic as you encounter situations that cause heartache and pain, God  reminds you just as he reminded Job, Moses, Aaron, Samuel, David Saul and Peter that He isn't done with you and he will help you finish your story.

You were not a mistake. Your life impacts so many people around you who are relying on your story, filled with God's grace to show them the purpose for them in this life.

The chapters of your life are filled with heartwarming things like your baptism, the day you invited Jesus into your life, the camps you attended, family outings, and attending school to learn a skill that would allow you to support yourself in your later  years.

Some of your chapters are filled with the unthinkable tragedy like the death of a loved one. Whether it is a friend, sibling, parent, grandparent, it doesn't matter because the pain of those losses is still real.

Through those losses, God reminds you that he sent his son Jesus to walk with you on your  journey just as he walked with Peter, Andrew, Philip,Bartholomew,Thomas, Matthew, James, Labbaeus, and Paul. 

God continues to pen the chapters of your life as you suffer through the loneliness of pain. While you may feel as though life has lost it's meaning and has no purpose,  God reminds you that He continues to walk with you until you come out of  whatever life experience you had a stronger and more resilient than when you first began this journey.

God continues to remind you that you were never a mistake. You are where you need to be at this stage of your life. Each gripping chapter od your life is meant to reveal the hope that God has for the world searching desperately for life's meaning. 

As your story continues, you learn to trust God more fully with habits like prayer and establishing personal  reflection in the word of God, and finding a church you can attend each week, and getting  involved in a small group of believers who trust and love God as much as you do.

 Your story is becoming the light to the community around you. You are  God's mighty workmanship and a hope to others that it is possible to recover from the heartache of life's setbacks.

Just as you entered the world to the mighty crescendo of voices, your life's story ends with the mighty chorus of heavenly voices as our mighty Savior, Jesus, embraces you in a hug with the words, "Well done, my good and faithful servant." At your stories conclusion, God set's the pen down with great satisfaction that your story will be used to give hope to the world.

You are not a mistake. You are where God wants you to be at this stage of your life!

Who You Are: How God Sees You

38 For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, 39 nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38-39

I was reminded, yet again, in a conversation with a friend after church why it was important for our family to continue attending church following the most unthinkable tragedy with the loss of our daughter in 2007. I was reminded, yet again, that when tragedy hit our family it was important to put into motion all of the faith lessons I have learned up to this point in my life. I was reminded, yet again, that this is where God had planned for me to be at this point in my life.

You see, when we lose someone we have always loved we enter into a forlorn period of grief that resembles fear.and anxiety We become fearful of the unknown. We try to smother our remaining kids in an effort to protect them from succumbing to harm that caused our other child's death. We become afraid when they take risks and try to persuade them to take the safer path, not the path God would like them to take.

When fear takes over it is as though we erect these huge fortress walls in an effort to protect us from further harm. Fear does and often is transmitted generationally. We can, if we're not careful, transmit our fears to our future generation/

The life lessons I remembered from my 2-year commitment in a discipleship training program consisted of trusting God with whatever happens in ,my life.  I am reminded of these words from Romans 8:38-39 " For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, 39 nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord."

Fear, my friends, does not have to control me. I can rise up from the dust off my grief, take hold of my staff, and press on trusting God for a mighty work as a result of my suffering.He can, and often does, use our pain, whatever that pain looks like to you, to inspire others to greatness.

I was reminded of this when I ran into a friend at church who thanked me for the years of encouragement.

Had I built that fortress wall years ago, stopped going to the church I called home, and taken my family on a topsy-turvy road of fear based decisions I would never have seen what God truly had in store for my life.

If there is a life lesson from this post, I hope you begin seeing yourself the way God sees you. You were meant to be free from fear,  free from failure, and free from the opinions of others. What is it you desire to do today? Go back to school to obtain a new skill? A new certification? Then, begin surrounding yourself with positive mentors who can inspire you to conquer those fears and accomplish those goals.

You do not have to remain in fear as grief enters your being. As you walk through the valley of all of your emotions begin trusting that God knows what he is doing with your pain. In time, God will reveal his plans for your life, a life free from fear.

Say Their Name - The Compassionate Friends UK

As I watched this video, produced by bereaved parents in the United Kingdom, I was reminded once again how profoundly the loss of a child impacts people around the globe and simply, giving bereaved parents permission to 'say their deceased child's name' and talking about that child is the beginning of their healing.

This may seem like a simple thing to do, but my experience has been that many people do not, or will not go there with bereaved parents. My wife, for example, shared with me that there are friends  she cannot openly share her occasional triggers of bereavement, while a few she can. If most of us would learn to embrace the pain of loss, instead of running from that pain, we will experience healing at a much faster pace. If most of us would learn to talk with others about pain, or give trusted listeners the opportunity to listen to our pain, people will develop a much wider array of coping skills for life's future survival.

Finally, there are several things that helped me to heal from my pain: (1) writing and keeping up this blog, (2) Occasionally, talking with trusted listeners willing to go there with the muck and mire of my grief, (3) my decision to place one foot in front of the other and attending a faith community  on consistent basis, and (4) trusting Jesus that he knows what he is doing with my life's  journey.

If you are a mourning the loss of someone you loved, I encourage you to visit the website I created for the support you need for this journey. www.soaringonwingsofeagles.org

To my beautiful bride of 28 years, happy anniversary and thank you for saying 'I do' on that hot, steamy Saturday afternoon.

25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, 26 that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, 27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. 28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. Ephesians

It was 28 years ago today, on a steamy hot afternoon Linda and I said our vows before friends and family, in a little church in Fridley, Minnesota with Pastor Dave officiating the ceremony.  

I remember that day well. Linda was the bride God destined to help me in this life. I remember how beautiful she looked in that wedding dress. To say she almost knocked me off my feet that day would be an understatement. When the music started I remember  trembling  as I watched my beautiful bride being escorted down the aisle by her earthly father, and thinking to myself whether this was real, or a dream. Lo, this was real and, yes, God is presenting her as my bride.

Linda and I wrote our own wedding vows and, we made sure to include the words 'for better or for worse. Words that many couples, in those days of pre-nuptial agreements, were choosing not to include.

My earthly father was the role model for marriage. Despite health issues, he stayed committed to his bride.  In one conversation with dad, he reminded me that when he married my mom he did so 

for better or for worse. 

 When it came time to recite my vow to my bride, I trembled while my eyes got misty and my voice, filled with nervousness, recited each word. I knew God would be my helpmate while sending His holy spirit to guide my bride and me as we walked the  path before us.

As I reflect back to that late winter evening in 1974, I took another vow and opened the door to my heart to allow Jesus Christ to come in and give me the assurance of my salvation and the assurance that he would walk with me through whatever life dished out. As I look back, I would discover that God never broke any of his promises to me.

As we recited our vows Linda's good friend, 'Ginny' sang a beautiful song that left me  sobbing on the inside. At the song's conclusion, I remember , in my nervousness, in my trembling  almost missing my cue to kiss the bride.

As I reflect over the past 28 years of our marriage, with many blessings, God has never broken his promise. He was there for us in the best of times, and he was there for us in the worst of times. 

Linda, thank you for saying 'I do' twenty-eight years ago. Knowing what a blessing those years have been, I know I would do it all over again.

Grief is our internal response to the deep sorrow within us; Mourning is our external response or the outward expression of deep sorrow.

My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, James 1:19

Sadly, most American's are strongly discouraged from the outward expression of their deep internal feelings from loss. We discourage others from going there with their pain when we tell them to 'get over it', 'trust in God', 'stay busy', or 'it's been 6 months and you should be over it by now.' Most of us, unless we are encouraged to express our internal feelings of loss will prolong their healing.

I spent the day taking in the information presented by Dr. Erica H. Sirrine,LCSW about Grief and loss over the lifespan. She was a very entertaining speaker that kept me captivated throughout the day. I think it would be pertinent to share how children grieve.

Grief is different depending on the age of the person. She reminded us that the frontal cortex isn't fully developed until the age of 24.

Dr. Sherrine stated that she wishes all schools, public, private, charter, would do a better job addressing the grief issues in children. Many of them do a good job bringing in crisis counselors in the initial impact of the loss, but those efforts fall short of what truly is needed in the long run. There is even a hint that many kids who are diagnosed with ADHD may simply be dealing with unprocessed grief.

I think the information on how children grieve over the life span is a good starting point toward helping you to understand the nature of this problem and how to address it.

Here are a definition of terms. I hope this give you a guideline to help your children when death enters your family.

Grief--is our internal response or the deep sorrow in us.

Mourning-- is our external response or the outward expression of deep sorrow.( the goal is to express our grief outward where healing will take place.

Universality refers to the understanding that all living things must eventually die

Irreversibility refers to the understanding that once the physical body dies it cannot be made alive again.

Nonfunctionality refers to the understanding that once a living thing dies all of the typical life-defining capabilities of the living physical body (e.g., walking, eating, hearing, seeing, thinking, and learning) cease.

Causality. Unlike the other three components, there is no consensus as to the definition of Causality. However, collectively, the various approaches suggest that Causality involves an abstract and realistic understanding of the external and internal events that might possibly cause an individual's death. "Abstract" refers to the fact that the causes specified are not restricted to particular individuals or events but are classes of causes which are applicable to living things in general. "Realistic" refers to the fact that the causes specified are generally accepted by mature adults as valid causes of death.

Previously, it was thought that real young children do not grieve. The research reverses that original thought.

Between infancy and the age of two their responses will consist of :

*Will sense a change in Environment Will Respond to a change in schedule
* Will sense emotional reaction of caregivers
* Change in sleep patterns
* Change in elimination patterns


Between the ages of 2-5, they begin experiencing the impact of loss when their behavior changes:
* Limited understanding of irreversibility, non-functionality, and causality
*Exhibit magical thinking
*Short attention span
*Regressive behaviors
*Changes in eating or toileting
*Sleep disturbances
*Somatic complaints and symptoms
*Fear
*Guilt

By the time they reach the elementary age (6-10), children will exhibit problems in the classroom through difficulty concentrating, changes in their grades, aggressive, anger, or acting out behaviors, and sleep disturbances. Children at this age will understand irreversibility and causality. Children in this age will experience somatic complaints and fears.

Interestingly, this is the age that many will describe as 'simply too young to understand grief'.

By the time children reach late elementary to middle school range (10-12) they will understand universality. This is also the age where egocentrism begins where they may death as a punishment, may express concern about how death will impact them personally, and may begin to conceal emotions from peers and caregivers. They may also develop a fear of eventually forgetting the person who died.

Between ages 13-18 children will understand death on an adult level, experience a major life transition prior to experiencing the death, have increased questions about Spirituality, some may assume the family roles of the person who died, will often conceal emotions, may lack peer support, have difficulty concentrating, and have changes in sleep patterns.

From ages 13 to 18 plus, they will experience change in grades, change in sleep patterns, experience bodily complaints, have increased aggression, experience depression/anhedonia, experience changes in personality, experience changes in eating pattern, may experience drug and or alcohol use, experience sexual promiscuity, experience rebellion and lastly may experience suicidal thoughts.

There are signs to watch out for children: Clinical depression, suicidal ideation or attempts, self-mutilation, excessive risk-taking, the apparent lack of avoidance of emotion, withdrawal from family and friends and illegal behavior.

Children were asked what they wished adults knew about their grief. Here were some of their responses:

*Let me talk to you and others about the person who died
*Even though time passes, it sometimes feels like the death happened just moments ago
*I get angry easily because the death has changed me.
*I am entitled to feel angry and sad at times
*I get distracted in class by thinking about the death
*I feel guilty for many things
*I loved the person who died the most
*Sometimes I hate living with you.
*I think I am coping better than some adults
*Please consider my feelings when you think about remarriage after one of my parents died
*I'm hurt and it seems like you don't care.
*It's not easy to grieve
*The family should be getting closer but it seems like we are growing apart


I Wish......
*I was there when the person died.
*I could hear the person's voice again
*I could talk to the person who died again.
*It all never happened
*the person who died was still here to give me wisdom
* It was me who died.

Finally, I discovered that children do grieve and are profoundly affected by that loss. For our schools to make assumptions that kids are too little to understand grief and act as though nothing out of the ordinary happened and not try to address it is presumptuous and unwise because each unresolved loss builds on the future losses in their life.

Our goal as parents, administrators, and caring adults ought to be to create ways of helping our deeply hurting children to express the internal sad feelings of their loss. If we teach our children that it is Okay to talk about the sad feelings inside us we might see fewer behavior problems, expression of anger, better grades, and the ability to connect with others around them.

That, to me, is a win-win.

Mile Markers of Memories

John 11:25-26New International Version (NIV)
25 Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; 26 and whoever lives by believing in me will never die.

As a child, I would become mesmerize by each passing mile marker on the real long road trips that I would count them; as though, it was my way of making sense of the boredom of endless sitting. Occasionally, my mind would be drawn to a familiar site like the restaurant I ate with the family, or something that reminded me of home, or the memory of a loved one long gone. Barbara Streisand captured the essence of that in the song she sang in the musical 'Cats' in 1981. https://youtu.be/78Ruh0ewBVo  She is a shell of her former self when she sang this song. How many of us can relate to being in this similar shell in the days, weeks, months and years following the losses of our life?

William Bridges attempts to make sense of life's transitions in his book called Transitions-making sense of life's changes. He takes readers through the 3 stages of any transition: The ending, the neutral zone, and, in, time, The new beginning. Bridges explain how each transition can be understood and embraced, leading to a meaningful and productive move into the future. This timeless book has been updated with a new chapter about the change in the workplace. If you desire to read the newest edition here is the link for purchasing it on Amazon.http://www.amazon.com/Transitions-Making-Changes-Revised-Anniversary/dp/073820904X?ie=UTF8&*Version*=1&*entries*=0


Cinematographers understand the power of emotions and film with their well-placed tunes in crucial scenes. Take, for example, the opening to StarWars written and compose by John Williams-https://youtu.be/_D0ZQPqeJkk
Our emotions, I believe, is the frosting on the cake of life. It is within those feelings that our memories of our loved ones, long gone, are held. Like the mile markers passing before us, memories of them come into our consciousness with each familiar site we remember being at with them.

Sigh... those memories may send momentary triggers that will occasionally tug at out emotional strings, but, at the same time, those memories are a way of us not forgetting them. 

The beauty of being a Christian believer is that, I know, where my love one is at this very moment. Jesus assures that with his words from John, " 2 My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you?3 And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. 4 You know the way to the place where I am going.”

I encourage you to embrace those emotional memories and from a metaphorical sense, place each one into a timeless bottle where you can occasionally remember the loved one who help shape you as the person you are today.