Triggers, upon triggers, upon triggers

16Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that you may be healed. James 5:16 

We are in the process of getting ready for our son's graduation from high school and one of the things we're trying to do is applying for financial aid at the schools he desires to attend. I did every thing right such as filing my taxes early and applying for the FAFSA. The schools now have this information. I thought I had everything done until I received a letter from the colleges saying they would be unable to process our son's financial aid until we submit his US Citizenship paper. Say what? Our son was adopted and we had him naturalized as a US Citizen, but one of the questions we answered must had triggered the need for this information.

Now this is where the 'fun' begins. Somewhere in the many boxes are his Citizenship papers, but where they are remains a mystery.  As we look for these papers I am experiencing they typical emotional triggers usually associated with loss because to find the things we need for our son we are going through Maria's adoption papers and with that memories we had with her when she was a child.

As we are going through this process I learned some things about the INS.  I learned that it takes 8 months just to obtain a copy of the Citizenship paper. Say what? This should all be in the database and it should be a easy process to obtain this document.  Why force needless suffering on families who must rely on this document for things like helping their son or daughter to attend college?

I also learned from INS that an easier way would be to apply for a passport for him which would only take 6-8 weeks. The passport is only given to those who are United States Citizens and having this will enable our son to study abroad should such an opportunity arise.

In the course of writing this blog I came across this excellent youtube video that talks about emotional triggers and how to best process them.  In this case, a mom calls into a Christian talk radio station and describes the triggers she had been experiencing and how it has impacted her ability to parent her other children.  Essentially, she was encouraged to find a trusted friend to talk about the hard issues with this part of grief.  They even encouraged her to bring her photo album to a therapy session so they can help her work through the grief triggers.  Not working on these triggers will lead to over protecting the surviving children so they grow up into a fear based environment.

This video is only 9 minutes and i think it will better help you understand the nature of these triggers.