As i travel on my grief journey I was able to understand my Grandpa i never knew

One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord.
Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.
In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.
Sometimes there were two sets of footprints.
Other times there were one set of footprints.
This bothered me because I noticed that during the low periods of my life
When I was suffering from anguish, sorrow, or defeat,
I could see only one set of footprints.
So I said to the Lord, "You promised me, Lord,
That if I followed you, you would walk with me always.
But I noticed that during the most trying periods of my life
There have only been one set of prints in the sand.
Why, When I have needed you most, you have not been there for me?"
The Lord replied,
"The times when you have seen only one set of footprints
Is when I carried you." 

I had a dream last night about my dad as a young baby. My dad never knew his mom because she died shortly after child birth.  My dad really never knew his dad because all he remembers was being raised by his mom's parents in a suburb of Crystal, Minnesota.  All I remember of grandpa was that he was a world war one veteran and that he loved working with his hands in his carpentry workshop. A simple carpenter. Shortly after losing his young wife he went to live in the Veteran's home.  Some say he was suffering the effects of 'shell shock' which was the earlier word for post traumatic stress disorder, but i now believe he suffered from the deep emotions of grief over the loss of his wife.

My dad was raised to work hard and study hard.  I remember one of his first jobs being that of a pin setter where he would have to jump off the end of the alley and set up all of the pins before some wiseguy would attempt to mow him down. I remember him telling me how hard his grandparents were on him and how he never really got the love he needed.

It wasn't until after our family lost our 10 year old daughter, Maria, that I truly began to understand the social and emotional dynamics of the family that raised him and his brother.  Like our family they were grieving the loss of their daughter.  No one expects to bury their children before them at any age.  These good people were probably dealing with all of the emotions of loss while at the same time trying to provide a roof over their grandson's heads.  The intensity of grief is very real and comes in like waves like an ocean.  Some waves are Tsunami size while others are much calmer and restful.  These people did not have the support to process the emotional high and lows of grief like today's generation.  

From a simple carpenter who fought in the first world war to the other carpenter who healed the sick, raised the dead I was able to find solace for my grief. Like the footprints in the sand I had a Savior who was able to walk with me on my journey and lead me to people, places and words of wisdom that would begin to heal my grief.

There is hope for those who are grieving.  Lean into  your grief, find a trusted person to talk and retell your story of grief and loss, find a support group of trusted listeners and lastly do not place a time limit on when your grief should end.  Your grief is very unique like two snowflakes so you cannot compare it with anyone else's grief. The promise is this that one day your tears will stop flowing and you will be able to smile and laugh at  jokes you couldn't do right after your loss.