Extreme Trauma

                                                                      

The statement below was read by the family of Ashley Moser, shooting victim in the Colorado theater shooting.
Ashley Moser is recovering from an additional surgery she had this morning. Tragically, the extreme trauma she sustained also caused a miscarriage.We want to send a special thank you to the courageous heroes of law enforcement, other first responders, paramedics, and doctors and nurses who have all gone beyond the call-of-duty in caring for our daughter, granddaughter and all of the other victims of this tragic event.Our sincere appreciation goes out to all of those who have been sending well-wishes, prayers and good thoughts to Ashley. Her lifetime of care will be a long road. For those who wish to donate, please go to any Wells Fargo Bank and request the "Donation Account for Ashley and Veronica Moser". This is the only official donation account for the family.

When I read this I completely understood what extreme trauma meant. Ashley Moser went to the theater to take a break from the everyday monotony to see a movie. This ritual is repeated all 365 days a year without much fanfare. Only this time Ashley and her young daughter happened to be in the same theater as the Aurora shooter. This was suppose to be a fun evening with her family that ended in the death of her daughter, injuries to herself and now the loss of her unborn child. When something unexpected causes chaos and tragedy it leaves the people that it has harmed unequipped to handle the pain inflicted on them.

It was on June 10th that our family awoke to the lifeless body of our little girl who from all practically purposes was suppose to fully recover from a surgery that has been done thousands of times a year on kids with her form of mild Cerebral Palsy. Neither our family nor the families in the theater expected that the life of a loved one would end that night. Just as we fully walked our daughter through the medical system where she would be helped these families entered the Aurora movie theater expecting nothing but good memories to emerge in the end. Instead of happy memories these families were thrust into a world of emotional upheaval known as trauma.

So few people even know what exactly is trauma. I had a counselor refute my self assessment of dealing with trauma by telling me that according to the textbook definition you have to be a Veteran to have trauma. In other words since I was never a veteran there was no possible way I could struggle with trauma. According to the dictionary trauma is emotional shock: an extremely distressing experience that causes severe emotional shock and may have long-lasting psychological effects. No where do I see the requirement being a Veteran.

Trauma combined with grief requires the compassion and competence of a good therapist. It requires an understanding and compassionate employer who will give their employee ample time to require from the grief and trauma and not terminate them as they went through the recovery from their trauma.

Recovery from grief and trauma isn't as simple as saying to the inflicted to just get over it. Nor is it as simple as telling them to focus on the goodness of life. To truly recover from trauma means the inflicted person needs people who are willing to walk with them through all of the hellish pitfalls and all of the minefields that lie in their path. Those who are inflicted with emotional trauma need permission to re-tell their stories of the event. Even if you have heard those stories many times before it is healing to them to tell those stories again.

It has been 5 years since our daughter Maria died. I would be lying to you if I said that I am fully recovered because there continues to be days where a memory, a moment in time will come fluttering back bringing with it a stream of tears. The brother of one of the Columbine victims said it took him 10 years before he could put behind him the events that took his sister. The school principal at the same school said there continues to be days where the pain from that past will come momentarily back. The good news is that it is possible to recover from trauma. You may never be the way you were before the traumatic event, but things will get better and in time the pain you were in will be used to help others inflicted with similar pain.

For our family it was the many friends from our church that have helped us navigate through this battle field filled with uncertain grief and trauma There was one other person who helped our family to recover from the trauma that was inflicted on us in June 2007 and that person was Jesus Christ. Over the course of many months I filled my journal with stories of God moments and words from scripture that I know were placed on my heart that were meant to be a healing Salve for my soul.

There is hope for healing from extreme trauma.