Smile and the world smiles with you

I remember learning that it takes more facial muscles to create a frown than to make a smile and thinking how much harder it is to be grumpy! No wonder grieving for a person who has passed away seems so hard and takes your energy away. Grieving the loss of a loved one is like getting into a roller coaster car at your favorite amusement park, slipping the safety bar snug in front of you, and feeling all of the high's and low's of that roller coaster.  Just like grief riding that roller coaster can leave you completely exhausted at the end unless you are a teenage boy wanting to go on it again and again.


When a person grieves it seems that the facial muscles have a greater difficulty making a smile. Smiles become fewer and far between.  As sadness envelops the home people around you have difficulty knowing how and what to say to make you feel better.  When one is grieving there are others who are still fully engaged in life, laughing and smiling all the way to their next activity.  A grieving person will feel like they are from some foreign land where no one smiles and when they visit a place where every one is smiling and having fun it can seem very strange to them.


When someone from another country visits a land with different customs, a different language they will often have an interpreter to let them know what these people are saying.  Once a person understands what they are saying communication goes better.


Somehow a grieving person needs to communicate what they are feeling so others will know how to communicate with them.  One way is for the grieving person to write a 'grief letter' to their friends where they talk about the loss they have encountered and how that loss is effecting them.  By writing this letter their friends will have a  better understanding how they can help you in this recovery process.


Unfortunately, people are not mind reader's and it takes the grieving person to communicate the grieving process and what they can do to help them walk the lonely journey of grief.  The wider your circle of friends you bring into your grief who truly understand what you are going through the sooner you will feel the corners of your mouth begin to turn upward and the smile returns to your face.