17 For this reason, he had to be made like them,[a] fully human in every way, in order that he might become a merciful and faithful high priest in service to God, and that he might make atonement for the sins of the people. 18 Because he himself suffered when he was tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted. Hebrews 2: 17-18
As I continued to read 'Imagine Heaven, Near-death experiences, God's promises, and the exhilarating future that awaits you, a book written by John Burke, I had to share Chrystal's story in chapter 14.'
'Before her NDE, the concept of God as a loving Father made no sense to Crystal. Why didn't he protect her at the age of 3 when the sexual abuse began? Why did he let other men abuse her continually if he loved her? Why would he allow the pain and suffering and chaos from her father leaving, an abusive step-father, and a partying mother who left with questionable company? By age 9, doubts about God's love or existence has a stronghold, but something about Jesus sounded different to young Crystal.
The fact Jesus was human appealed to Crystal, as well as the fact that he had died on the cross for her sin's, to save her. As Crystal grew to love Jesus, she yearned to be closer to him, so at the age of 9, she told her mother she wanted to be baptized. She wanted to be clean, and after her baptism, she recalls, " I felt like my soul had been scrubbed.
Unfortunately, the feeling didn't last because the abuse continued. Crystal had expected to be saved from the abuse that was happening in the present. As Crystal entered her teen years, all that shame, hurt, and anger felt like her identity. She blamed herself for the abuse. When her mom got back together with her abusive step-father, she felt rejected. If her mom chose a violent ex-husband over her, she felt she must be worthless, so she decided to act that way.
At the age of 16, she got involved with a 22-year-old man and started partying. She and her mom fought constantly until finally, her mom kicked her out. Crystal lived in her car for months until her dad rescued her. Later that year she unsuccessfully tried to kill herself. She got pregnant at 17. She had the baby. Two years later, she got pregnant again and this time she had an abortion. She felt unforgivable. She had affairs with married men and broke up marriages. She married a guy who had a worse past than she did. They had two kids but then divorced when his constant drunkenness and drug abuse turned him abusive.
Several years later, a guy Crystal was dating came to take JP, her 6-year-old son, for a ride on his motorcycle. Crystal said, "No". But when she went inside to check on another child, he took JP riding anyway. He crashed into a truck and almost killed her son. JP survived being thrown from a motorcycle and wedged into a truck's wheel well, but not without brain-stem damage that required 4-months of inpatient therapy. As if that weren't enough, at the age of 33, Crystal went to the hospital for pancreatitis.
Due to complications, she died for 9-minutes and found herself in heaven.
"I was instantly aware of two beings in front of me and to my left and I knew right away who they were- they were angels. But they weren't just any angels-they were my angels. I recognized them immediately." She knew her angels were there to greet her back home. As she stood in front of them, an immense love for these beings swept through her. The angels felt like the closest friends she could ever have, Crystal, remembers, " as if they had been by my side for every tear I ever cried, every decision I had ever made, every day I ever felt lonely."
She felt an immediate connection, a sense of deep communication with them, and a complete lack of shame, secrets, misunderstanding, or negativity. Instead, there was only a deep, beautiful, sustaining sense of knowing.
Crystal also sensed another profusion of brightness coming from a Being from her right, whom she knew without a doubt was God. She was immediately overcome with a profound, persistent desire to praise and worship him. Although she had always referred to God as him, she understood, at that moment, that God was neither a him nor a her, but simply God. She also understood that God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit were all one- the one before me now," she says.
Crystal always assumed her experiences of Heaven would be different. She had imagined herself asking God a barrage of questions- like why, for example, he had allowed her to be molested as a child. Or how he could allow brutality against children or starvation or cruelty against the weak. Crystal says, " I wanted to know why He didn't love me. Or why he let bad things happen.
And yet, as I stood in front of Him and I faced Him and I fell to my knees, and I raised my hands, the question I called out to Him was, "Why didn't I do more for You?" Because in an instant, He revealed His true self to me which is love. I had never truly worshipped Him. And as I lay there in worship in awe of this Creator, I remember saying "I could worship You for eternity."
In Heaven, Crystal's questions had been answered before she ever had to ask them. In God's presence, Crystal understood God's plan as perfect. She readily admits that back on earth, she can't explain it all. Instead, she believes that we aren't meant to comprehend on earth what we will understand in Heaven. " All I can tell you," she says, " is that I know God's plan is perfect. In his radiance, it all makes perfect, perfect sense." (page 192-195 'Imagine Heaven, written by John Burke.
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