Some thoughts regarding the events of this past week and why my faith is more relevant today than at any time in history.

We are living in desperate times where most of us have lost the moral compass that our previous generations used to guide their lives.  For many, there is no such thing as right from wrong, only a grey zone of wishy-washy thinking that if it feels good do it mentality.  For many, going to Church no longer has relevance and instead of trusting the holy spirit and placing one foot in front of the other we stay out the night before, perhaps become inebriated with one too many funny sounding cocktails and we sleep in off those effects. 

In this time of desperation

When all we know is doubt and fear

There is only one foundation

We believe, we believe

In this broken generation

When all is dark, You help us see

There is only one salvation

We believe, we believe

For me, there is no other compromise than to trust the living God that he knows what to do with the pain in my life.  When losses come my way, I trust my Savior Jesus that he will walk with me through the pain.  There is one expectation God has of me- to believe there are absolutes in this life that can never be compromised.

We believe in God the Father

We believe in Jesus Christ

We believe in the Holy Spirit

And He's given us new life

We believe in the crucifixion

We believe that He conquered death

We believe in the resurrection

And He's comin' back again, we believe

The decision I made to receive Jesus as my Lord and Savior that early spring of 1974 became the rock foundation that stood the test of time regardless of whatever calamity came my way. I trust Him because I know God's word is absolutely beyond a doubt true and when losses come with all of its incredible pain, I know God is walking beside me.

So, let our faith be more than anthems

Greater than the songs we sing

And in our weakness and temptations

We believe, we believe!

We live in a time where most people do not even bother going to church.  Sunday mornings seem to be the least congested time to drive. Whereas many chose to sleep in, I chose to attend and worship my Creator, my Savior and my Lord of my life. I chose because I knew after the loss of my child Jesus was there every step of the way of my grief journey.

We believe in God the Father!

We believe in Jesus Christ!

We believe in the Holy Spirit!

And He's given us new life!

We believe in the crucifixion!

We believe that He conquered death!

We believe in the resurrection!

And He's comin' back again!

Where others believe in grey zones where there is no such thing as right from wrong, I choose to carry my moral compass- my bible, my belief and my record of salvation while putting one foot in front of the other trusting God that he knows what to do with my life.

Just as I did in the spring of 1974, let Jesus Christ reign in your heart. You won't be disappointed.

I wrote this blog post 2 years ago when Maria would have been 20 years old

And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 18:3

I wrote this post 2 years ago on a day Maria would have been 20 years-old. I wrote it to encourage others to share memories they had of the one who died. As you lament over your loss today, remember that there will be far more celebrating in heaven with your loved one as there were of the time you celebrated with them on earth.


As I look at the clock on my laptop, I am reminded that this would have been Maria's 20th birthday. I can only imagine what that birthday might have been like, just like I could only imagine all of her other birthdays from age 11 on. Why am I sharing this? Families who suffer the misfortune of losing their child need others to share memories of their child. Just because a child dies, regardless of age, doesn't mean they can just forget about them. Their timeline may have ended, but the memories linger on. Maria, I know you are very much alive in heaven and I know that your life, because of what Jesus did for you, continues on. Happy birthday from your earthly dad. To all of the other parents, I encourage you to continue talking about the memories of your child. It is normal to do so because it reflects the love you had for them.

In heaven, Crystal discovered, that all of our questions regarding why we have suffering in this world will be answered.

17 For this reason, he had to be made like them,[a] fully human in every way, in order that he might become a merciful and faithful high priest in service to God, and that he might make atonement for the sins of the people. 18 Because he himself suffered when he was tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted. Hebrews 2: 17-18

As I continued to read 'Imagine Heaven, Near-death experiences, God's promises, and the exhilarating future that awaits you, a book written by John Burke, I had to share Chrystal's story in chapter 14.'

'Before her NDE, the concept of God as a loving Father made no sense to Crystal. Why didn't he protect her at the age of 3 when the sexual abuse began? Why did he let other men abuse her continually if he loved her? Why would he allow the pain and suffering and chaos from her father leaving, an abusive step-father, and a partying mother who left with questionable company?  By age 9, doubts about God's love or existence has a stronghold, but something about Jesus sounded different to young Crystal. 

 The fact Jesus was human appealed to Crystal, as well as the fact that he had died on the cross for her sin's, to save her.  As Crystal grew to love Jesus, she yearned to be closer to him, so at the age of 9, she told her mother she wanted to be baptized. She wanted to be clean, and after her baptism, she recalls, " I felt like my soul had been scrubbed.

Unfortunately, the feeling didn't last because the abuse continued. Crystal had expected to be saved from the abuse that was happening in the present. As Crystal entered her teen years, all that shame, hurt, and anger felt like her identity. She blamed herself for the abuse. When her mom got back together with her abusive step-father, she felt rejected. If her mom chose a violent ex-husband over her, she felt she must be worthless, so she decided to act that way.

At the age of 16, she got involved with a 22-year-old man and started partying. She and her mom fought constantly until finally, her mom kicked her out. Crystal lived in her car for months until her dad rescued her. Later that year she unsuccessfully tried to kill herself. She got pregnant at 17. She had the baby. Two years later, she got pregnant again and this time she had an abortion. She felt unforgivable. She had affairs with married men and broke up marriages. She married a guy who had a worse past than she did. They had two kids but then divorced when his constant drunkenness and drug abuse turned him abusive.

Several years later, a guy Crystal was dating came to take JP, her 6-year-old son, for a ride on his motorcycle. Crystal said, "No". But when she went inside to check on another child, he took JP riding anyway. He crashed into a truck and almost killed her son. JP survived being thrown from a motorcycle and wedged into a truck's wheel well, but not without brain-stem damage that required 4-months of inpatient therapy.  As if that weren't enough, at the age of 33, Crystal went to the hospital for pancreatitis. 

Due to complications, she died for 9-minutes and found herself in heaven.
"I was instantly aware of two beings in front of me and to my left and I knew right away who they were- they were angels. But they weren't just any angels-they were my angels. I recognized them immediately." She knew her angels were there to greet her back home.  As she stood in front of them, an immense love for these beings swept through her. The angels felt like the closest friends she could ever have, Crystal, remembers, " as if they had been by my side for every tear  I ever cried, every decision I had ever made, every day I ever felt lonely." 

She felt an immediate connection, a sense of deep communication with them, and a complete lack of shame, secrets, misunderstanding, or negativity.  Instead, there was only a deep, beautiful, sustaining sense of knowing. 

Crystal also sensed another profusion of brightness coming from a Being from her right, whom she knew without a doubt was God. She was immediately overcome with a profound, persistent desire to praise and worship him. Although she had always referred to God as him, she understood, at that moment, that God was neither a him nor a her, but simply God. She also understood that God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit were all one- the one before me now," she says.

Crystal always assumed her experiences of Heaven would be different. She had imagined herself asking God a barrage of questions- like why, for example, he had allowed her to be molested as a child. Or how he could allow brutality against children or starvation or cruelty against the weak. Crystal says, " I wanted to know why He didn't love me. Or why he let bad things happen. 

And yet, as I stood in front of Him and I faced Him and I fell to my knees, and I raised my hands, the question I called out to Him was, "Why didn't I do more for You?" Because in an instant, He revealed His true self to me which is love. I had never truly worshipped Him. And as I lay there in worship in awe of this Creator, I remember saying "I could worship You for eternity." 

In Heaven, Crystal's questions had been answered before she ever had to ask them. In God's presence, Crystal understood God's plan as perfect. She readily admits that back on earth, she can't explain it all. Instead, she believes that we aren't meant to comprehend on earth what we will understand in Heaven. " All I can tell you," she says, " is that I know God's plan is perfect. In his radiance, it all makes perfect, perfect sense."  (page 192-195 'Imagine Heaven, written by John Burke.

For God so loved the world that He gave his one and only son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life

16 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

"Mayday, mayday!" Tom hollered into his ham radio.  Hoping someone would hear him as he struggled to stay afloat from his cabin cruiser. 

 He knew at this very hour he made a tragic mistake trying to outlive hurricane Florence He thought this would have been like the other two hurricanes where he hunkered down and survived those storms. 

 The unrelenting waves were pounding his boat and sending him occasionally to the floor where once again he had to use all his strength to get back on his feet. He tried one more time trying to get someone or anyone's attention but realized that even the rescuers were hunkered down somewhere to get away from this storm. 

Tom was at the mercy of these winds, winds that were howling its angry pitch at him, trying to intimidate him. "Mayday, mayday!" he tried one more time to get anyone's attention without realizing that if anyone heard there was no way they would be able to rescue him. He felt cold seawater at his feet and when he looked down he saw the water begin rising. 

For the first time, Tom had this sense of dread fill his mind as though he wasn't going to survive this one. His mind drifted back to his girlfriend and all his nephews and nieces he might never see again. He thought of his mom and dad who were probably worried sick for him, especially when he nonchalantly mentioned to them he would ride out the storm from his boat. He reminded them not to worry because his boat would be locked securely at the dock.

He felt another big wave knock into his boat. He tried to brace himself with both arms outstretched to steady himself, but once again, he was knocked onto the now water soaked cabin floor.  He thought he heard the cabin glass break and when he felt the splinters of glass falling everywhere he knew his time on this earth were just minutes away from dissipating into nothingness. 

He reflected on the bible verses from bible school he memorized and wished he had kept going to Church, but his peers were all telling him, "you don't need God."  But, he wondered maybe he had made a horrible mistake. He was no match for this storm and he knew it. Tom felt the boat shake more violently now as if the boat was beginning to break free from the dock.  Tom did the only thing he knew which was to cry out to Jesus to please come into his life because he needed him. He remembers that verse from John 3:16  For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. At this very hour he needed him. How he wished he had made that decision like his sister and brother did when they were teens, but his stubbornness and his drive to do it his way were overwhelming.  Tom felt the boat shake violently one more time before the wind and the wave pulled it away from the security of the dock. 

He felt the boat break apart and his body drifting off in the seawater. He couldn't breathe. He soon had this sensation that he was drowning. As his lungs were filling up with seawater, he began drifting off into unconsciousness.  Tom left his body watching it float lifelessly away, yet he did not have any fear or dread or a sense of panic. He saw this light and inside that light, he saw the most beautiful person, the one who bled and died for him.- Jesus Christ, the King of kings and the lord of Lord's.

An Orthopedic Doctor's Near Death Experience - Dr Mary Neal (To Heaven a...

John 14:3 New International Version (NIV)
3 And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.

I'm currently reading 'Imagine Heaven, a book about incredible near-death experiences. In his book, he writes about the near-death research done by Dr. John Long. In his research, after factoring out the less credible stories, still revealed commonalities. One near-death experience featured in his book was the story of Dr. Mary Neal a board-certified orthopedic spine surgeon who drowned while kayaking on a South American river. She experienced life after death. She went to heaven and back, conversed with Jesus and experienced God's encompassing love. She was returned to Earth with some specific instructions for work she still needed to do. Her life has been one filled with the miracles and intervention of God. Her story gives reason to live by faith and is a story of hope.

For all of us who lost a loved one, we want to know what happened to our loved one on the night he/she died. We aren't able to see on the other side of the veil, but we cry out to God to reveal anything to give us hope that our loved one is in a better place. Most certainly, we want to know what happens to us when we take our final breath in our earthly bodies.

John Burk does a very good job picturing for the rest of us this future home which he describes as a fun place any of us want to be when our time on this planet ends. If we all have this vision of heaven, it will likely change the way you live the rest of your life. You will likely find ways of encouraging others and loving the unlovable and sharing your personal faith story about how Jesus gave you a purpose and a hope for living. I'm enclosing this link for Amazon where you can obtain this uplifting book about your future home- heaven. https://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=JOhn+Burk+imagine+heaven

God promises an exhilarating future that awaits you in a place where there will be no more pain, no more suffering, a brand new body with all working parts and energy that you haven't experience since you were a child! Our God truly is an amazing God!

I was reminded by the recent Christopher Robin movie of the importance of our imaginations and our playful natures in helping us heal from life's losses.

Jacob’s Dream at Bethel

10 Jacob left Beersheba and set out for Harran. 11 When he reached a certain place,he stopped for the night because the sun had set. Taking one of the stones there, he put it under his head and lay down to sleep. 12 He had a dream in which he saw a stairway resting on the earth, with its top reaching to heaven, and the angels of God were ascending and descending on it. 13 There above it[a] stood the Lord, and he said: “I am the Lord, the God of your father Abraham and the God of Isaac. I will give you and your descendants the land on which you are lying. 14 Your descendants will be like the dust of the earth, and you will spread out to the west and to the east, to the north and to the south. All peoples on earth will be blessed through you and your offspring.[b] 15 I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go, and I will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you.” Genesis 28:10-15

Some say that we're too left brain for our own good. 

It seems our imaginations get shelved when we become adults.  We put away our imaginations and rely on the rational thought processes to help us with daily problems. 

Yet in other parts of the world, God speaks through our imaginations- the right brain. He made us with two hemispheres and why wouldn't he?  It is often when grief enters our lives that we learn quickly through the dreams He provides to each of us reminders of our loved ones as though those dreams remind us that their loved one is in a good place.

Shortly after our daughter died, we purchased this Meerkat ( named after Meerkat Manor) because it was the nickname he had for his sister whenever they watched the Animal Kingdom show at their grandparents. They would each make these meerkats sounds.  

When she died, he no longer had this outlet. My son had wanted to buy a small stuff Meerkat at the hospital store to give to his sister when she was recovering from surgery but never did. After she died, my wife found the same Meerkat at a store when she was shopping with our son and decided to purchase it for him.  Like Pooh was to Christopher Robin, Meerkat was to our son. Whenever we traveled he brought Meerkat along. Meerkat was a source of comfort for a grieving boy's heart because it helped him to always remember he had a sister.

Our Imaginations are a powerful instrument used by God to help us heal from our loss. 

Even Christopher Robin discovers that it is okay to hang onto his former friends from his youth- Pooh, Tigger, Eeyore because his friends helped restored his love for life, his wife, and his child. His friends helped him to remember that it is okay to take time off to play and have fun with his family.

Every one of us will encounter loss as we travel through life. Life Experiences will do that to us. When it does, remember God speaks through our imaginations in the dreams he gives to us, or the exquisite colorful night skies he reveals to us!