but those who hope in the Lord
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint. Isaiah 40:31
As each New Years comes and goes there is a collision of colliding emotions that interfere with our outlook of how we view the New Year.
For some of us the New year is a reminder of past relationships that are no longer part of our lives. The loss of a parent through divorce, the death of a loved one, the loss of a job that brought us previous satisfaction and the piling up of unfinished business are just some of the things that come crashing down on us on a day we think should be filled with the happiness.
As I learned in my own personal grief journey there are people who simply do not want to go there with you on your personal journey of loss. Friends you have had for many years will suddenly not be there for you at the time of your loss. Friends who discover the internal pain you are going through simply do not understand, nor do they want to take the time to understand this pain because, after all, their lives are going fine and why mess up their lives by bringing the pain you feel inside; Yet, for many their own unresolved grief comes to the surface at the time of your loss that makes it impossible for them to travel with you on your own journey.
Grief is a universal feeling that all of us will one day encounter. Notice, I didn't say some of us, but I said ALL of us will enter into this path and the sooner we understand this notion the sooner we can embrace it when it finally does comes.
Yet, it seems we are a pleasure seeking people who take great pains to avoid this pain. We bring out the noise makers, surround ourselves with friends, dance the night away and when the ball drops at midnight we kiss our love one in hopes the good feelings stay with us. Sociologists tell us that feeling alone and isolated in crowd of people is a phenomenon that happens to all of us, even on the final day we call New's years eve.So what are we to do about it when loneliness surrounds us? What are we to do when loneliness is met with the grief and sorrow of our past relationships?
I know what I did. I embraced it by continuing to put one foot in front of the other and continue doing the daily and weekly rituals I did when those previous relationships were in my life. I know, for me, that my savior and Lord, Jesus Christ, understood the loneliness I was feeling and while people left me in a trail of dust Jesus was there to help me process the inner turmoil of grief I was under.
Amazing how a simple decision to invite Jesus into my life at the ripe young age of 18 helped me navigate the grief I was under in my later years. I have learned in my grief journey that all of the other religions of the world taught us 'this is what I teach', but Jesus was the only one who said 'follow me' and he backed that claim up with miracles and of course the resurrection.
If you are having issues with unresolved grief I encourage you to take a sheet of paper and begin writing down people you have known in past relationships who are no longer with you. Then take that list to a trusted listener and ask him or her to pray with you for each of those losses. I learned that it isn't the good times that God speaks to us, but it is in the times of sadness, times of sorrow that he reveals his heart to us and all we have to do is call on his name and he will be there for us.
As you prepare for this New Year celebration please remember that it is normal to be filled with colliding emotions. Our lives are like a novel. The pages of our book are filled with excitement, drama, sadness and hope. Like my life God wants to help you pen your novel so one day someone else can read it's contents and be filled with hope that God is there for them in their days of sorrow.
As you work on your own unfinished grief remember it is normal to be sad on the final day of the year. So, pass the noise makers and happy new years anyways.
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