To all those who are grieving please hang on because God promises not to abandon you.

To all who mourn in Israel,he will give a crown of beauty for ashes,a joyous blessing instead of mourning,festive praise instead of despair.In their righteousness, they will be like great oaksthat the Lord has planted for his own glory. Isaiah 61:3

My wife and I stopped at the Lifeway Christian Bookstore to choose a sympathy card for a family who has been thrown on a road less traveled. I also picked up  Steven Curtis Chapman's latest book and liked it that I decided to add to my summer reading. For those interested in this book, here is the link for Lifeway Christian Bookstore. http://www.lifeway.com/Product/between-heaven-and-the-real-world-P006139019

'Where once this family was on the expressway of life, enjoying the many beauties of it, have now been forced to take a detour on a road less traveled.  

Life for this family has come to a screeching halt as each family member grieves in their own way. Whereas some members cry openly and must make continuous runs to Target for boxes upon boxes of kleenex, other members try to numb their mind with marathon video game sessions.

Bodily ailments become a constant reminder of their missing loved one. Life, it seems, is so unfair as some ask "why did this happen to me, and why if God loved me did he take my loved one away?"  

As the intensity of their grief increases, it is as though each member is wearing cement boots just heavy enough to make moving a difficult and tiring task. Life goes into slow motion as tasks they once found easy to accomplish require a Herculean effort and superhero strength. 

 Often, families who have suffered the unfortunate sudden and traumatic losses will wake up in the middle of the night from the common 'night terrors' of the way their loved one died.  Some members are so traumatized by these night terrors they require a sleep aide just to finish their sleep cycle. Still some members decide to see a therapist to make sense of their pain.

Life, it seems is so unfair. The trauma that has been inflicted on them has sent them into a fight or flight response whereas all their sensitivities are on high alert, as though they are permanently trying to run away from a wild beast.

But there is hope. I urge everyone to cling to the hope in God. Keep placing one foot in front of the other trusting God that he knows what to do with your pain. 

If my life can be a testimony for your pain, things in time will get better. You will be able to sleep through the night. You will once again have sweet dreams and wake up refreshed. You will again enjoy life even without the loved one you thought would still be there for you. 

Spring is my favorite season of the year because the blooming plants are a reminder that God does make all things new again!

Hang in there because Spring is coming!

We must start treating mental illness, not as a badge of shame, no different than we might get a cut on the skin

My eyes have grown dim with grief; my whole frame is but a shadow. Job 17:7

I believe that every life that is born is worthy of living. 

Every life regardless of their struggles deserves to be treated with dignity and honor.  

Yet, how often do we discredit someone's depression as simply a weakness of character? When you think about it the human brain is a very complex organism that is used in so many different ways from figuring out complex algorithms to deciding what to eat, what to buy, or what to write on this blog. The brain also handles the emotional aspects of our daily living such as belting out a song or honoring our spouse with a kiss. 

Recently, I learned of a friend who died tragically.  I first heard the news on our local WCCO radio on my way to work. It said simply they recovered a 52-year-old man from the Mississippi River. They found his abandoned car on a bridge.  As soon as I got to work, I went to the WCCO online website and sure enough, they had identified him.He had been missing since the first part of May  

All of us who knew him wept, including his wife, son, and daughter who now must learn how to navigate the road chosen for them without their dad.

I remember several years ago talking with this friend while watching our son's play soccer when he felt comfortable telling me his struggles with depression, but he was on medication and in contact with a doctor.

 I wonder how many of us would be willing to share their struggles with Mental illness if they could find someone willing to listen to their story? 

Mental illness, if left untreated, can lead to a real desire to end one's life. I believe that every life that is born is worthy of living and every life regardless of the journey they are on deserve to find someone to listen to their story.

As a professional who works with those who struggle with mental health problems, I can attest to the difficulty for many to seek appropriate and timely mental health services. 

 I know first hand what that was like not long after my 10-year-old daughter died when I tried to seek out a reputable therapist skilled at treating people afflicted with trauma and being told that since he was not in my insurance plan that I would have to pay out of pocket.

If I had pain in my arm, I could more easily find health services to fix my problem, but for some reason, our health care system doesn't value treating mental health when traumatic grief enters one's life. 

Every life regardless of their struggles deserves to be treated with dignity and honor. This includes the right to find trusted professionals who know how to listen to the stories of people inflicted with trauma.

Simply sweeping the messiness of life under a rug won't cure the problem but will only aggravate that problem with unforeseen health problems. I found this quote that illustrates the importance of working on traumatic grief.

"Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live."

With that said, grief isn't something you can simply put inside a box, close the lid, and throw away the key. Every feeling you are experiencing has to be processed one emotion at a time. For some, it will mean finding a trusted therapist who will guide you on this journey.  It also may mean keeping a journal of your daily struggles with grief and being honest with your feelings knowing that you have a God that is big enough to take everything you dish out- all your anger, all your hopelessness and all your pain.

 He wants to be on this journey with you, every step of the way for as long as it takes. I also encourage you to tell your family practice doctor about the trauma you've experienced so he can begin monitoring your vital signs and help you get the services to survive this journey.

The bottom line is this. The loss of a loved one does not have to be the defining moment of your life. Your loved one may not be here for you, but your life still has value in the lives of others.  Your story of trauma may, one day, be used to encourage others walking a similar path as you.

Finally, I leave this link if you are a survivor of some who died from suicide. http://www.survivorsofsuicide.com/  

God so loved the world that each life is precious in His site.

"For we are God's handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." (Ephesians 2:10)

The world it seems likes tossing out human lives when they no longer serve a purpose. Parents discard their children into the street when doing so meant they might prolong their drug habit. Some will take their unwed pregnancy to that 'benevolent' service known as Planned Parenthood who supposedly care about woman's health but really specialize in terminating a life because of the woman's horrible burden of carrying it to completion.

In the case of this man who shares the atrocities that were done to him when he was in that coma state- being force fed, sexually assaulted, forced to watch Barney programs because the closest people in his world of caring for him thought he was an imbecilic fool waiting to die. At one point, his own mother looked at him and uttered, "I wished you would die".

Little did most of them know, but he would slowly regain is the capacity to communicate. His body began getting stronger. Through the amazing Assistant technology, this young man was able to connect with the world around him, even meeting a woman who loved him and would later say 'yes' to his proposal of marriage.

No matter how worthless you feel at any given moment, God never wastes a life. He values you for who you are, not what you will become in the world you live in. I'm reminded of this passage found in John where the disciples of Jesus ask him "why was this man born blind? Was it because he had sinned, or was it because his parents had sinned?" Jesus reminds us in verse 3 of John 9 that ‘Neither this man nor his parents sinned,’ said Jesus, ‘but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him.

As human beings, our job ought to be to find the goodness that are in people, not find ways to discard them to the human trash heap. We must view people with disabilities from the mind of God, looking for ways of taking the talent each of them has and allowing them to glorify God with it. Some, like this man, may need the latest assistant technology communication devices to fully be used in this world, while others simply need inclusion.

This story also illustrates another and final point I want to make: as our bodies decay over time because of the biological process or aging or disability we have a God who continues to love us and values what talent we have and has no intention of discarding us like some broken shard of pottery.